Madame Vamp

This heart, never thought it could be, shocked. Electrified by doubting submissions. Submissions of an art work I wouldn’t dare hang in a museum. This piece isn’t for them. Isn’t for their eyes. For one day behind us you asked if I was going to write about you. I said I sure hope not. Dark and twisty it is. Standing outside begging in the same cold I begged for my matriarch. This time of year doesn’t ever bring light. It’s taken away my sunshine more than once. This was never meant to be about you. Still doubting the submission. Admission of it not moving forward. That doesn’t register, looking backward at what we shared. It doesn’t register. Checking out. Out of the dimension that this is my reality. Tragedy. Passive despair. Drowning in these waves pooling my eyes. Ophelia. Breathing in the water until the cells in my lungs explode from over saturation. Cutting them open to allow it to spill onto the next page. Reminding me of where I come from. Spilling into the next page. Red satin baccara. Your favorite rose. No more rose colored glasses. Glass. The rose in the glass. Belle was reading you a book in the garden. Shattering the glass. Love shall not appear. Stuck as a beast forever more. Flying away on the ravens wings. A feather falls. That is your reminder. You let her fall, not even daring to catch her. Just to find out she was pushed.

You despise me because I show you exactly who you are. Hold a mirror up and reflect back to you, your demons. You’re demon. Swallowed. Accountable. Counting the days back to the time that I didn’t have control over my emotions. Not being her anymore would have forced you to conquer. You don’t feel the urge to conquer. You cower. Running and spitting curses along the way. Blaming others in your path for the mitochondrial mix up. Dysfunction bursting out of the pores you once recorded so confidently. It’s false. The facade has been shattered by the least expected. I told you I feared I would be the teacher here. Surrounded by people, looking at you. Still your heart beats alone. This will continue over and over. Run until you hit water. Swim until you drown.