Single dad Bruce Wayne surrounded by his precious babies, who are all worried because last Parent-Teacher Conference, he was the only daddy without another daddy or a mommy with him!!
Bruce is trying to calm his wailing children, "Oh loves, being a single parent is fine! Unconventional but fine! I'm happy and I love you all enough for two!"
But they're not having this!! That's not fair!! Their dad is so nice and pretty, he deserves to have MANY mommies and daddies with him!! No, he should have ONE REALLY GOOD, REALLY BEST MOMMY OR DADDY WITH HIM!!
So they ask Bruce what kind of other daddy ("A husband!" Jason corrected) or a mommy ("That's called a wife!" Dick said) he would like to have
And Bruce, realizing that fighting his kids is something he simply doesn't want to do, so he tries to placate them
"Well.... I always liked someone who is good with numbers. A-And someone who's good at taking charge. I love it when someone has good hair and a biting sense of humor, and is family-oriented 😊"
Bruce thought dignifying his children with a response would be the last time he even has to think about the wifeless/husbandless existence he's living
.
.
.
Then a week later, Bruce has to watch his kids come home to his porch holding one very confused looking Hal Jordan
"Dad, look! We got you a husband!" Jason cheered, pushing Hal to Bruce.
"I checked his bank statements and his police record! He's a-okay, Daddy!" Tim added on with the sweetest smile a 7 year old can have.
"And he smells nice, like hot chocolate brownies, my favorite," Cass said, currently in Hal's arms and nuzzling her face on his neck, "He has really soft hair too."
"And I checked his social media on the way here! He's single! The kids on his accounts are his brothers' kids!" Duke said, holding Hal's hand, "Isn't that right, Mr. New Dad?"
Hal chuckles nervously, "I swear, they said they were lost in the city, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce looked at his eldest in horror.
"It was that or we went to England to find what a 'distinguished gentleman' was supposed to be, or whatever it is that Alfred wanted for you," Dick shrugged, not looking up from his phone showing the map home, meaning they were very much not lost.
Before Bruce can find his bearings, they start to usher Hal into the house
"Okay new dad, you can sleep in our daddy's room!"
Hal, who is too nice and a bit of a sucker for cute kids, follows happily.
It takes Bruce 10 seconds to process that there is a stranger in his home
.
.
.
After all children were put into their respective time out corners, Bruce is finally ready to face the poor soul his children abducted.
"Okay, finally. Mr. Jordan, I'd like to apologize for—"
Bruce stopped.
Currently there's a 6"4 muscular man on his floor playing with toddler Damian and letting him touch his face. Hal is blowing raspberries into the baby's palms and answering his babbles with full sentences.
"Oh, Mr. Wayne! Are the kids all packed away?" Hal asked, hands still stuffed in animal puppets that Damian is giggling at.
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scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 24 (masterpost here)
*Alfred setting dinner down for the kids*
Damian: thank you, Pennyworth. so will Father not be joining us?
Alfred: you father is working late at Wayne Enterprises tonight i’m afraid, he’s asked that Master Dick step in for him as Batman in the likely case that he not make it home in time for patrol.
Dick: if he’s not here then can we play Bat-Quotes?
Duke, instantly: YES. yes, yes, a thousand times yes,
Tim: also agreed, if B isn’t here then we have to.
*all the kids look to Jason expectantly*
Jason: …i shouldn’t have come up with that game.
Alfred, mild: oh dear, this isn’t a dangerous game, i hope? my dishware won’t be in danger?
Dick, snickering: no no, don’t worry Alfie. the game’s only dangerous to Jason.
Damian, smug: yes, meanwhile for us it is, in fact, a completely consequenceless endeavour.
Jason: …i really should not have come up with that game.
the batkids, chanting at Jason: Bat-Quotes, Bat-Quotes, Bat-Quotes, Bat-Quotes-
Jason: i- *wheeze* OK- ALRIGHT, we can play a round or two, oh my god, i hope you’re happy,
*cheering and clapping*
Alfred: *warily raises an eyebrow*
Jason, bringing out his phone and sighing theatrically: alright, alright, everybody welcome back to Bat-Quotes; a horrible game that puts my social life in danger on a regular basis. i hate that i came up with it, and i hate that you all like it, but here we are.
Alfred: and what is the nature of this game, if i may ask?
Dick, gleefully: Jason keeps a list of quotes that people associated with our bat-lives have said. he reads them out, we have to guess who it was that said it, and if we- *wheeze* if we get one right—*laughing* Jason tell him what happens if we get one right,
Jason, looking very begrudging: well, as you know, the Red Hood has become a big enough and regular enough ally of the Justice League that i’ve been added to the main JL group chat. so if- *wheeze* *regretfully* if somebody correctly labels the person who says a quote, then i have to say that quote as myself in the official Justice League group chat, with no explanation, and no matter the reaction i can never explain it.
Steph, grinning maniacally: to further explain to you the genius consequences of this game, Alfie, let me tell you the last time we played Bat-Quotes; where Duke got the best slam-dunk i have ever seen on the quote of- *laughs* what was it, Jason?
Jason, looking at his phone: uh- so last time we had the quote ‘i think i would fuck a plant if i had the free time, it’s just that i’ve always had an unnatural fear of stinging nettles stinging the inside of my ass somehow, so i think that i’d be a little bit paranoid about it at first.’
Dick: *wheezes, smacking the table-top*
Tim, also crying: GOD i forgot,
Jason: yeah—Duke came in with the guess of Harley Quinn, which was correct, so i had to- *wheeze* with no context,
Cass, shark-like: and you had a reaction, right?
Jason: yeah, so because of that i had Uncle Clark call me, because he thought that i was speaking in some kind of code to let them know i was in danger. and i had to fucking be like. ‘no i was just sharing my thoughts on the matter’ and he didn’t speak to me directly for like a week.
Duke: *cackles* BEST ACHIEVEMENT OF MY LIFE,
Jason: yeah- you’ll also all be happy to know that Bruce DM’ed me after that to say the simple sentence of ‘do you fucking know how hard i advocated for you to be on this team?’
Dick: *almost falls off his chair* *struggling to breathe* i love this game so much.
Jason, dryly: yeah i’m sure it’s real fuckin’ fun for you guys.
Alfred:
Alfred: dear lord.
Jason: yeah exactly Alfie, Dear Fucking Lord.
Steph: hush up and play the game with us, coward.
Jason: *sighs* alright, let me- let me pick one.
*waiting*
Jason: alright- fuck. alright. here we go. and- AND LET ME BE CLEAR. you cannot each give your own separate answer, that’s fucking unfair, you can’t have six whole chances of getting it right. you have to choose one.
Damian: just say the quote.
Jason: *sigh* ok, number one. ‘if i tell you that i don’t currently remember which colours you mix to make purple, are you gonna make fun of me?’
Alfred: *squints*
the rest of the batkids: *intense focus*
Steph: oh, see that’s a hard one.
Duke: my instinctual reaction is one of the rogues. they spout a lot of shit when they’re beaten half into the ground, you know? all delirious n’ shit?
Dick: Riddler…? maybe…?
Cass: sounds like somebody drugged.
Damian: Cain is right, if it’s a rogue then it’s more likely to be Scarecrow high on his own gas.
Tim: no, no, i don’t think it’s a rogue. i wanna say… Steph?
Steph: excuse me?!?! i did not-
Tim, defensive: YOU SAY A LOT OF WEIRD SHIT WHILE DRUNK! we have to be logical about this; Jason objectively spends more time laughing at things we say while hammered than he does sticking around after fights to listen to rogues rambling. and your favourite colour is purple!
*consideration*
Dick: ‘s got a point. this is about being right, Steph. we have to put pride aside.
Cass: agreed.
Steph: i would not say that shit!
Duke: i dunno, one time i watched you google how to boil an egg.
Steph:
Steph, begrudging: fine, whatever.
Jason: final answer?
Tim: Steph.
Jason: ok, well in that case that’s one of the biggest flops i’ve ever seen, because Tim that was you,
Steph: HA.
Tim: ?! WHAT?
Jason, smugly: you, about seven months back, high on cold medicine, when you were bed bound. and- and you actually said it to Steph, so that’s a double failure really.
Tim: FUCK.
Dick: please tell me you have more, that can’t be it.
Jason: i’ll give- ok, i’ll give you two more chances, and then i’m banning this game for the next month at LEAST for my own safety.
Cass: deal, give.
Jason: ok, ready? this one’s one of my favourites, actually.
Jason: ‘is it just me, or are Nightwing and Batman kinda gay for each other’.
Duke: *instant wheeze*
Steph and Tim: *loud cackles*
Dick, offended: HELLO?!?!
Jason, proudly: come on, what do you think?
Dick: WHAT THE FUCK, THAT’S MY DAD.
Damian, snickering: no, no, this is good. it narrows it down, it proves that the answer is somebody who doesn’t know our identities. it has to be a rogue.
Duke: i dunno if he’d repeat answers so soon but it does sound like something Harley would say, not gonna lie.
Steph, still laughing: you guys are talking like all of us wouldn’t yell this shit from the rooftops just to piss Dick off. i’d pin this on Babs taking the mick over comms.
Tim: no, Damian- *wheeze* Damian has a point. if it were Barbara over comms then she would have said Dick and Bruce, not Nightwing and Batman. i feel like this was said out in public, around other people.
Dick: surely i would remember if one of you had said it.
Tim: i dunno. i’m kinda worried it’s me again.
Damian: *wheeze* it’s all- it’s all just Drake.
Steph: is there a chance it could have been- like, the titans or something? this sounds like a joke Gar would make.
Tim: oh, maybe, that’s genius,
Duke: i don’t know the titans well enough to make that kind of call, so i’ll go with whatever you guys say.
Dick: …*intense squinting at the table*
Cass: what do you think?
Dick: …i’m just trying to remember- Selina’s made a few jokes about her third-wheeling us before, and i’m trying to remember if this could have been her.
Tim: i feel like Steph is right, i think it’s more likely to be a titan.
Damian: honestly, the most likely scenario is that it was Jason. is that an option?
*the kids all turn to stare at Jason*
Jason, shrugging: you can use your one guess for me if you want.
Steph, instantly: oh- fuck off, you can’t do that. you have to at least tell us if it’s possible that you’re the original quoter.
Jason, laughing: alright, alright—none of them are me.
Dick: then- ok yeah, i’m with Duke, you guys take this one. i don’t know.
Tim: ok, we’ll say Beast Boy then.
*a beat*
Jason: *incorrect buzzer sound*
Tim: DAMMIT.
Jason: that one was actually Antonio, one of my main subordinates in the alley.
Duke: FUCK OFF-
Steph: THAT’S SO CHEATING!
Jason: *cackles evily*
Dick: -SO unfair, how the fuck are we supposed to know the names of your men?!!
Jason: no no, this is fair, and for the record i would have accepted ‘a Red Hood goon’ as a correct answer, i’m not a monster. y’all are thinkin’ about people you know; gotta think about people i know.
Tim: -shut up and give us the final one.
Jason: ok touchy! well this one—this one i think is the worst one for me to put in the chat, so. i’m not really happy about this.
Cass: give it to us.
Jason: …’i saw a bird fly into the wing-mirror of the Batmobile, and ever since i’ve just been feeling kind of depressed. is anyone available for a hug?’
Dick: *noise of awe*
Tim: …shit i really want him to say this to the Justice League.
Duke: guys we need to lock in. we need to get this one. who would say this that spends time around the Batmobile?
Steph: and who would actively ask for physical comfort?
Cass: Dick likes hugs.
Dick, intensely thinking: ….it does kinda sound like me…
Tim: do you remember ever watching a bird fly into the window?!
Dick: no that’s what- i’m trying to think, i can’t remember!
Duke: Dami, do we think it could have been you?
Damian, flat: is that a genuine question.
Duke: no- i know, i know it doesn’t sound like you, but the bird thing tracks. and like- we’ve all been high on pain meds during various points in our lives. we get clingy, it happens!
Damian, shaking his head: if it was me i don’t remember it.
Tim: i don’t think Damian would ask for anybody to hug him. when he gets high he beelines for B, Dick and Jay. he’s specific about it. this is somebody who just likes physical comfort point blank.
Dick, considering: can i suggest… Bruce?
Steph: there is no fucking way we wouldn’t remember that. we’d have the recording. i keep going back to Dick, i feel like it’s him,
Dick: same but i also think i’d remember watching a bird hit the window-!
Damian, leaning back in his seat, tonguing his cheek: hmm.
Cass: Damian, you have an idea?
Damian, hesitant: hm.
Jason: i want a final answer.
*silence*
Damian: can i…?
*a beat*
Damian: Jon Kent…?
Tim: ooo,
*silence, all attention on Jason*
*waiting*
Alfred: *takes a sip of wine*
Jason, with feeling: ffffuck.
Damian: SERIOUSLY?
Jason, again: FUCK.
*instant uproar, batkids celebrating*
Jason: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME-
Damian: THERE’S NO WAY,
Steph: I’M SO HAPPY,
Jason: I DON’T WANNA- YOU GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND-
Dick: DUDE- JASON- WONDER WOMAN IS IN THAT CHAT,
Duke: *falls off his chair*
Jason: I DON’T WANNA DO IT-!
Damian, deadly serious: you have to- i won fair and square, you have to.
Jason: *glances at his phone, pensive*
Tim: *wheezes* that’s such a bad one-!
Jason, dramatically throwing himself down in his seat: I DON’T WANNA DO IT.
Steph: *evil cackling*
Cass: i’ll do it for you if you want-
Jason, snatching his phone away from her: don’t you dare- THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING GAME WE HAVE EVER COME UP WITH!
Damian: you have to do it.
Jason, wailing: i KNOW,
Dick: *wheezes* this is the best day of my life,
Duke, incredibly happy: dude- you know Bruce is gonna see that in the chat, right? he’s gonna be so worried.
Dick, wheezing: and you can never explain-!
Jason, grumpy: god fucking- *angrily typing at phone*
Steph: Dick you’re in the chat too, right? check he actually does it.
Dick, pulling out his phone: he has- *wheeze* word for word, it’s there.
Jason: i’m so mad- Damian you weren’t even there when he said it.
Tim, wiping tears from his eyes: when the fuck did he say it?!
Jason, annoyed: he said it on the Watchtower while Clark was working really late and he was over-tired, and me, him, Kon, and Roy somehow ended up in the rec room with him watching fucking Marley and Me at three in the morning, and i guess he got sad!
Dick: oh my- aw, oh my god, he got a hug, right?
Jason: yeah actually- Kon opened up his arms and Jon walked right past him and into mine, and Roy laughed so hard he had to leave the room.
Steph: god that was- Damian that was SUCH a god-tier move.
Damian, dryly: my best friend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dick: *wheezes again*
Jason: i’m putting my phone on mute, fuck you guys. worst game ever.
Steph, wetly: best game ever.
~forty minutes later, as the kids clean up the kitchen from dinner~
Jason, walking back in from the bathroom: i hope you’re all happy, because i just got a text from Uncle Clark that says ‘i want you to know i’m always here for you if you need a shoulder to lean on’.
Dick: *wheezes, falls into Cass, who has to hold him up* oh my god, Uncle Clark is my favourite person on this fuckin’ planet,
Jason, holding up a finger, reading from his phone: wait for it, because the Flash has responded to me in the actual chat, and he has said, ‘i’m so sorry you’re feeling like that Hood, i know what it’s like.’ to which Diana put, ‘depression is a battle that we all struggle with at some point, it’s brave of you both to speak up.’ and then Barry put, ‘i mean yeah, but i meant i knew what it felt like to run into the Batmobile wing-mirror at full speed’.
the batkids: *burst out laughing*
Jason, bowing begrudgingly: you’re welcome, you all better be fucking satisfied.
Damian, hanging onto Tim for balance: victory tastes so sweet-!
Alfred, from the other end of the kitchen, face flat: i hope you all know that i will be the one that Master Bruce comes to for advice when he thinks his son is depressed.
Hal is confused by the fact that Bruce doesn't close his bedroom door when he sleeps, but leaves it slightly ajar, even the window. Just as they're done with the deed and Hal is starting to drift off, he feels Bruce stir open the door and return to sleep beside him. Hal's confusion doesn't last long as one night Dick enters the room and whispers to Bruce, "Nightmare…" while Dick checks Bruce's pulse. One day, he finds Red Hood standing in their doorway, fully armed, with a book, talking to Bruce. The next day, Hal wakes up to find Jason in bed with them. Luckily Bruce's bed is huge enough for six people
It's cuter/funnier to imagine that Hal transitions from fwb to lover, simultaneously with his status change from dad's boy toy into nice vanilla-smelling bolster pillow that dad shares sometimes
Dick being the first was a pleasant surprise because Hal is sure that Bludhaven was at least 40 mins away and yet the boy has crossed that distance just to make sure that his worst fears were not true and his dad was okay. At that point, Bruce was just a co-worker who served a nice quick fuck on occassion. Now, Hal was watching Bruce groggily wake up and comfort a grown man, murmuring sweet nothings to his son, and his heart jumps like Oh!
Hal figures it's a one-time thing. Then came another time when Hal had woken up in the middle of the night to a behemoth helmet child by the doorway, holding a book. Jason was genuinely surprised to see Hal, but did not care enough to do anything. The kid just sorta.... flopped between him and Bruce, started reading, while the man entertained him. Hal felt a little awkward, intruding on family time, but honestly, the book was good and Hal was getting vocal with his opinion of it. Jason would laugh sometimes, and Bruce would get this weird look on his face that Hal doesn't know what to do with.
The fleeting feeling in Hal's chest continues when one night, immediately post-fuck, Tim and Damian barged into the room to settle a row they were having during an hour of the night when they were all definitely supposed to be asleep. Bruce is still floaty after ragged sex, so Hal takes it upon himself to settle their argument. Damian flops on the bed in mild annoyance, but apparently would calm down if Hal should hold him long enough. Tim decides he doesn't want to be left out and crawls into bed as well. Hal makes a comment about billing Bruce for emotional labor. Bruce laughs. And Hal very much liked how that laugh sounded.
Hal still is in plausible denial, but has noticeably began to stay the night, not rushing to slip out in the middle of the night. One such morning, the door creaks further open and Hal feels a nice pat on his shoulder. It was Duke saying goodbye to Hal before patrol. He watched the boy give Bruce a tender hug before leaving. It was more filling than any breakfast.
The days that follow, Hal wasn't coming in just to fuck. He just comes to bed to... talk, sleep maybe, after a movie or a videogame. He insists it's because of the nice mattress and even nicer shower.... until Cass slinks into the room in the middle of the night, home from overseas, was about to surprise her dad when she catches Hal still awake.
Cass assesses him for a second. Hal feels judged and understood all at once, in a creepy, displacing way.
She nods solemnly, "You are in love."
Hal is so very confused because "Okay kid, just because my heart skips a beat when I see him being soft and I think about his laugh a lot and remember every personal detail he's ever shared in conversation doesn't mean I'm in love with him 🙄"
Cass looked at him, then at the ceiling, then she closed her eyes.
"Lord god, if you're there, please do not save this man from temptation- 🙏"
Something about price not showing up for his own kid's graduation, couldn't be bothered when "it's just uni, sport. I'll be there for something important, yeah?"
And you fully expect to find no one sitting in the seat you pre-emptively reserved, all too hopeful that your dad would finally see you. Except...it's not empty.
Ghost is sat in your dads seat.
Ghost, the man who practically saved your degree when you were on the verge of a breakdown and dad was on vacation. Found you crying in a gas station parking lot and recognized you from price's wallet.
And....it feels weird, ghost where price should be, almost like you're replacing your dad...but it's also nice?
Ghost has always been there when you needed him, more than your own dad ever was.
He drives you to get shitty fast food afterwards in celebration, hand heavy on your thigh and you don't try to stop him. Of course you've thought about it, but never acted on it...
Not until ghost pulls over on the back roads, parks his truck in the start of an empty field and lays you down in the dirty bed of it. Rough hands pulling your thighs open, a mouth leaving bites against skin. He makes you feel all the things you missed out on, too busy studying for your dads approval.
He groans "fuck, kid, can't believe i waited this long. Didn't want to distract you." When he ruts into you, thick and hot and too big for you to do anything other than gasp.
That night, you sleep in ghosts bed and not once does your dad call asking where you are. Seems like you made the right choice.
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Ugh I recently agreed to be a live in nanny for 2 weeks for a family friend. Mostly just looking after the kids school run and some small house chores. Wish me luck, idk how to interact with children 😭😭😭
Hal is confused by the fact that Bruce doesn't close his bedroom door when he sleeps, but leaves it slightly ajar, even the window. Just as they're done with the deed and Hal is starting to drift off, he feels Bruce stir open the door and return to sleep beside him. Hal's confusion doesn't last long as one night Dick enters the room and whispers to Bruce, "Nightmare…" while Dick checks Bruce's pulse. One day, he finds Red Hood standing in their doorway, fully armed, with a book, talking to Bruce. The next day, Hal wakes up to find Jason in bed with them. Luckily Bruce's bed is huge enough for six people
It's cuter/funnier to imagine that Hal transitions from fwb to lover, simultaneously with his status change from dad's boy toy into nice vanilla-smelling bolster pillow that dad shares sometimes
Dick being the first was a pleasant surprise because Hal is sure that Bludhaven was at least 40 mins away and yet the boy has crossed that distance just to make sure that his worst fears were not true and his dad was okay. At that point, Bruce was just a co-worker who served a nice quick fuck on occassion. Now, Hal was watching Bruce groggily wake up and comfort a grown man, murmuring sweet nothings to his son, and his heart jumps like Oh!
Hal figures it's a one-time thing. Then came another time when Hal had woken up in the middle of the night to a behemoth helmet child by the doorway, holding a book. Jason was genuinely surprised to see Hal, but did not care enough to do anything. The kid just sorta.... flopped between him and Bruce, started reading, while the man entertained him. Hal felt a little awkward, intruding on family time, but honestly, the book was good and Hal was getting vocal with his opinion of it. Jason would laugh sometimes, and Bruce would get this weird look on his face that Hal doesn't know what to do with.
The fleeting feeling in Hal's chest continues when one night, immediately post-fuck, Tim and Damian barged into the room to settle a row they were having during an hour of the night when they were all definitely supposed to be asleep. Bruce is still floaty after ragged sex, so Hal takes it upon himself to settle their argument. Damian flops on the bed in mild annoyance, but apparently would calm down if Hal should hold him long enough. Tim decides he doesn't want to be left out and crawls into bed as well. Hal makes a comment about billing Bruce for emotional labor. Bruce laughs. And Hal very much liked how that laugh sounded.
Hal still is in plausible denial, but has noticeably began to stay the night, not rushing to slip out in the middle of the night. One such morning, the door creaks further open and Hal feels a nice pat on his shoulder. It was Duke saying goodbye to Hal before patrol. He watched the boy give Bruce a tender hug before leaving. It was more filling than any breakfast.
The days that follow, Hal wasn't coming in just to fuck. He just comes to bed to... talk, sleep maybe, after a movie or a videogame. He insists it's because of the nice mattress and even nicer shower.... until Cass slinks into the room in the middle of the night, home from overseas, was about to surprise her dad when she catches Hal still awake.
Cass assesses him for a second. Hal feels judged and understood all at once, in a creepy, displacing way.
She nods solemnly, "You are in love."
Hal is so very confused because "Okay kid, just because my heart skips a beat when I see him being soft and I think about his laugh a lot and remember every personal detail he's ever shared in conversation doesn't mean I'm in love with him 🙄"
Cass looked at him, then at the ceiling, then she closed her eyes.
"Lord god, if you're there, please do not save this man from temptation- 🙏"
My feed has been looking weird over the last few days and I finally figured out that Tumblr has now age restricted my account since I’m in the UK and will now have to provide my ID as age proof to some random 3rd party provider in order to see mature content again 😭
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I like the idea that Bruce comes over this his kids' superhero team bases occasionally, like a parent of a kid who has a dorm with friends
And his kids let him because truth be told, they like their dad being around even for just a couple of hours every other week, and also their dad is Batman who paid for all of this so who tf is gonna have the guts to throw him out
Imagine being Bart, waking up at 3 AM because your metabolism is making your guts want to eat itself, and so you get out of bed a little earlier than most to get a snack
And Batman is in the Young Justice's kitchen, wearing a cowl and sweatclothes, making a sandwich for a very sleepy Tim who is current cradled in his dad's arms grumbling about how his bed is cold and he wants a new laptop and Batman is shushing him
Bart meets Batman's gaze. If it were not for the sleepy, whiny Tim hugging him, Bart would be intimidated by a knife-holding Batman
Bruce pushes the plate of sandwiches at his direction. Bart takes one and speeds away. He feels like he has to take this to the grave because who the hell would believe him
Or
One of the Titans' cars stop working for no discernable reason and the engineering for it is deadlocked in the JL's blueprint files
Dick and Steph are just "nah don't worry we got this" and the Titans are like "oh you're calling a mechanic? is that even safe security wise?"
Cue a few hours later and Batman is spotted in the Titans Tower garage, in a cowl and a bodysuit meant for a vulcanizing shop. He acknowledges all of the titans briefly before getting to work. Dick and Steph are seen hovering in the garage, tumbling around and yapping while Bruce gets the car fixed up
When Donna mentioned this off-handedly to Diana one day, Diana is very confused because ?? Nightwing and Spoiler have access to those blueprints?? She's seen them fix up more complicated machinery than a tank jeep.
So the conclusion is that Dick and Steph just made an excuse for Bruce to come over. Which goes without saying because the car repair only took an hour and the next 6 hours was making Bruce cook barbecue for everyone because "we miss 🥺 bbq nights 🥺🥺 with you 🥺" and the Titans just let it happen because wtf Batman can make a damn good marinade
It was still dark and quiet as you shuffled through the corridor holding your dress to keep from tripping. You couldn’t risk wasting more time, nor could you risk breaking the fragile object in your pocket.
Alex was leaving this morning. It had to be before sunrise as it was a long trip.
It was bizarre how light your feet felt, how the movement didn’t exhaust you.
You thanked the lord the head maid wasn’t in the corridors, or she would have scolded you.
He would still be there, wouldn’t he?
Finally, you reached the entrance. Regaining your breath, you slowed your steps. You couldn’t just burst out panting in front of them.
Taking a deep breath, you fixed yourself and stepped outside. The flickering torchlight cast long shadows across the yard.
By the lit carriage, Alex and Farah spoke quietly, their words hushed and gentle.
After the talk you had with Alex that night, it seemed he really did go to Farah. He didn’t give away much, but judging by his beaming expression over the past few days, you could tell it went well. They looked busy, lost in their moment.
Your eyes drifted away from them, scanning the space until they landed on a figure much closer to you, leaning back against the stairs. The torchlight played across his face, casting flattering shadows along his features.
Arms crossed, Kyle seemed utterly bored with the scene unfolding before him.
He was still here.
Strange, wasn’t he always so effortlessly cheerful? You expected him to be bidding farewell to his fellow knight. Why was he so far away?
You steadied your breath and walked closer, descending the steps until you reached his side.
“Good morning, my lord,” you said, curtsying.
At the sound of your voice, his back straightened immediately, and he turned to you.
“Good morning!” he greeted brightly—ah, there it is. “Did you rest well?”
“…Yes…” you nodded, then glanced toward Alex.
Kyle followed your gaze. “You made it in time, Farah's been holding him back for quite some time now,” he explained, leaning back against the stairs once more.
“Are you not going?” you asked, confused.
“No,” he said simply. “Nothing for me to mope about. He’ll be back. He’s not on death’s door.”
“Didn’t you say we were close to war?”
“It’s metaphorical,” he said, arms still crossed. “More of a battle of wit between my father and the duke.”
Little interactions like this gave you pieces of the kingdom’s political state.
The duke was just a looming force, a symbol of resistance against the current king.
They had caught spies. Alex didn’t go into detail about how they got information out of them, but it was implied. That thought sent a chill down your spine.
But you'd be fine, you just had to be careful not to raise too much suspicion. You were doing good so far.
“I don't know what happened, but he's been glued to her for days now," Kyle sighed, looking toward the two knights. "How does she deal with that?”
Your eyes remained on him. A smile tickled the corner of your lips as you battled the urge to respond. Wasn't this the pot calling the kettle black? He was much more clingy with you than Alex was with Farah.
Just the last few days alone, Farah would come to you looking for him, and without fail, she found him.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was only here because he knew you would be too. But that would be absurd. He wouldn’t possibly be standing here in the chilly morning air just to see you.
“It doesn’t look like she minds,” you said with a shrug, turning your attention back to the knights.
They were lost in their own conversation. The way their hands brushed. The tenderness in their exchanged glances.
“It’s a bit much, if you ask me,” Kyle smiled, turning back to you. “Well, it matters little now as I’m not here for him.” He shrugged.
“I see. But Lady Farah seems well—then again, I suppose you would know if she wasn’t,” you replied. What were you playing at? You knew what he was saying, didn’t you?
He scoffed, nodding to himself before jerking his head toward the carriage. “Looks like he’s waiting. Go on, hurry so he can leave,” he said, though he failed to suppress a smile.
Your pocket felt heavier as you looked at him, but you bowed your head and walked to the carriage.
You quickened your step, making sure to salute them both.
“You’re up early,” Farah said, crossing her arms.
“I couldn’t miss Sir Keller’s departure!” you said looking at her a little long. Farah exchanged a look with Alex before smiling and stepping away.
“I told you to rest, didn't I?” Alex asked with a pointed look.
“But am I not allowed a proper goodbye?” you replied, lifting your shoulder. “My teacher is leaving”
“The sooner this is over, the sooner I can have leisure time. I could even bring you to my village,”
"I believe I am not allowed out without Lord Garrick,” you chuckled. “Especially not with you.”
He peeked behind you before leaning in. “I'll sneak you out,” He grinned,
“Promise?” you whispered back.
“It's a promise” he nodded. He hesitated for a moment, “You already told me goodbye last night…yet here you are” he squinted, “I hope you are not planning to give me an unwanted gift again?”
“No,” you said, feeling heat creep on his ear. “I had things to do. I thought I could see you one last time?” you said.
“Is this a statement or are you asking me?” he questioned, you looked back.
“Your lady has been keeping him locked away…” you whispered, another excuse.
“Don’t make me laugh, I’ve got reports of a lord missing from duty almost every day.”
“Yes, I see him in passing, but I have no time to prepare.”
“Prepare for what? It's a simple gesture is it not?” he tilted his head. “Unless it means something to you?”
“It doesn't,” you quickly replied.
“Then I shall leave you, to it” he said, turning away.
“You leave me with my lament?” you teased.
“I already got rid of mine, why would I take on yours?” he winked walking inside his carriage.
You watched as the carriage rolled away with a heavy heart. You were already counting the days until their return. Your days were about to be a whole lot different. You stopped yourself from glancing Kyle’s way.
“What were you two plotting?” Farah asked
“Nothing, my lady, I was simply bidding him farewell,” you said.
She nodded, glancing back at you. “We haven’t talked in a while,” she said. That's true, you also only saw her in passing too!
What an opportunity!
“That is right my lady, shall I bring you tea and we could chat about?” Hopefully she would say yes. The thing you have to do can wait.
“You seem to have prior engagements” she chuckled.
“I’ll walk you back,” Lord Garrick proposed, stepping closer. You didn’t even flinch at his sudden appearance.
You hesitated, but Farah smiled. “I won’t take it personally,” she said. “It’s still dark, who knows what might happen in the ten steps it takes to go back inside?” She chuckled. Though she meant to sound condescending, her voice carried a warmth that betrayed her true feelings.
You nodded before starting the walk. It wasn’t as dark as she said. The sky was just starting to turn a lighter blue. The air was still a bit damp as you walked through the yard. You glanced back at Kyle.
“So you weren't there for Lady Karim, my Lord?”
He chuckled, “No, I thought a certain someone would be here too this morning,” he stated, “Though they love playing oblivious, now that I’ve seen them, it is a good morning.” He grinned, you felt your heart stirred.
“I hope you didn’t get too much of a scolding from Lady Karim,”
“Quite a lot to be honest,” he chuckled, "but I got used to it, she got tired of it, eventually I got to walk you back to your quarters" he shrugged.
“I apologize, it was my fault, you wasted as much time”
“It wasn’t,” he said softly. “The only thing you are guilty of is invading my mind” he muttered.
You're trying really fervently to invade mine.
“I apologize for this as well, it was never my intention,”
Your feet stopped as the brown door of the maids' quarters loomed over you. Was the walk through the courtyard always this short?
“Here you are,” Kyle said.
You hesitated this was the moment, now or never. It was nothing to make a fuss about.
Your hand slipped into your pocket, playing with the jar. He sighed and spoke again
“Alex comes and goes in this manor. He will come back eventually. You can send him letters,” he continued, voice soft.
You should go back inside, and start your daily chores, not linger here.
It was a small gesture, but that would be over stepping.
You were deep in your thoughts, not realising that to anyone else's perspective you were eerily quiet.
“Is your heart that heavy?” He asked as he stepped closer.
You finally pulled it out, almost hiding it in the skirt of your dress. Your heart was beating with volume and your hand was sweating a little.
It was just a kind gesture. So why were you so nervous?
Maybe because his gift had been thoughtful—an intricate box with fine details—while all you had was this, looking embarrassingly bland.
Moreover… you had never given anyone a gift before.
Especially not someone you—
You what?
God. Maybe you should just shove it back in. There would be other occasions. He didn’t see it, did he?
“What is that?” his voice echoed in the corridors of your mind, finding your senses pulling you back.
Hell.
He looked at your hand and back to your face, you gently held it out to him. The knot holding the fabric lid of the pot tickling your forefinger.
“It’s a little late. But I got your box the other day…It was only normal that I thanked my Lord for being so thoughtful.” You explained, though he looked confused, a smile still adorned his lips.
He was smiling at you. He always did, no matter what. And that consoled your nervous heart.
“Did you get it at the market? You shouldn’t have, the coins were for you to spend on yourself.” He explained with an amused look on his face, taking it from your hand and inspecting it.
“I made it with the berries we got that day…I had more than enough, so please keep this one, my lord.”
His grip suddenly tightened around the little pot pulling it back towards himself. His smile faltered for a second.
“You made it?” He asked, “and you're giving it…to me?”
You felt suddenly flustered. “To be honest, I only helped. The cook did most of it, the spices and other ingredients were his idea, really.” You rambled, nervously looking at his reaction. He didn’t respond.
Did he hate it, you thought you could read him, but right now he was quiet and that pot in his hand was starting to look uglier to you, the cover was barely presentable, the knot a bit messy. Adopted or not he was royalty, he was raised with standards and this was subpar.
You pressed your lips together, and you held your hand out desperate to take it for him, before it got more embarrassing.
“M-my apology, I shouldn’t disrespect you with such a gift, my lord, I-I’ll take it back,”
He retreated from you with the brightest smile on his lips. Stirring your heart even further.
“No! I’m sorry…it’s just...you thought of me,” He trailed looking at your face for a second, his eyes went to your lips, and he bit his own, thinking. “Do you want to share some with me?” He asked with excitement filling his voice, he was almost giggling.
Your chest warmed. He liked it. You didn’t have much to offer, yet he accepted that small gesture as if it meant everything.
And as it seemed to happen a lot lately. You smiled. You were scared for nothing.
Of course he would react this way. You shook your head. Why were you feeling bashful all of the sudden?
“I took enough of my lord's time today, and I have to start with my duties and you should get back to yours.” you said, chuckling looking at the small jar in his hand.
His grip seemed a bit tight though. It was just jam.
You raised your head to meet his eyes. Your smile dimmed. He was staring at you in awe, or was he upset. You weren’t sure. There was nothing to be shocked about so he must be angry. Oh did you forget yourself? You did reject his offer just now.
“Can I ask for a favor?” He started, you waited for him to elaborate. “Alex is gone, you won’t be going to the stables so often. You’ll have free time.”
You nodded, was he going to punish you?
“That time, give it to me” he asked
You paused, did he have to add work to fill the gap. Well you had nothing else to do, so why not. He was the master after all, you should do as he says.
“Very well,” you said nodding, “I will tend to my lord, if that is what you wish.” You bowed.
He chuckled, “No, that's not what I asked.”
“Then I don’t–”
“Come find me, like you went to him.” He explained “If there is something you want to learn I'll teach you, if you need to talk, I’ll listen.” He breathed out. “What I’m asking is for you to spend time with me,”
Spending more time with him. More than the sparse glances and greetings you received lately. Strangely, the idea of more wasn’t as distasteful as it was before. Your heart should hate it.
So why was it screaming for you to say yes?
Your eyes darted to the yard where a few maids were already carrying buckets of water.
Right, you couldn’t. There were so many reasons why you couldn’t. Boundaries you set. Rules that prevent them. Not only for you but also for him.
Spending time with him would only make things complicated.
“I’m afraid I must refuse, my lord, it is simply not proper, for a man of your stature to spend leisure time with me, even in friendship,” you stated.
“Friendship?” He echoed you.
“Isn’t it what you seek, for us to be friends, similar to Sir Kelker and I?”
The maids already have their idea, it would only disrupt the calm of the manor. You couldn’t risk—
“No.” he said, getting close. “I want something for us,” he said. “Just the two of us,”
You swallowed, you don't know what he is talking about, no you don’t understand, you don’t want to understand.
“My lord I don’t–”
“It's not me you fear anymore, is it?” he asked softly, seemingly already knowing the answer.
“I simply can’t spend my leisure time with you.” You unconsciously glance at the yard again. He understood.
“Very well then, don’t come in your free time.” He said, "I’ll just take you as my personal servant. Is that alright with you?”
“If that's what my lords—”
“No, I'm asking you. Does my pathetic excuse to see you, suit you?” He asked above a whisper.
You nodded slowly. His gaze lingered on yours for a moment before he nodded also.
"And let me be clear," he said, voice softer, "I have no desire to be Alex for you. And if I’m not mistaken—" he tilted his head slightly, eyes sharp "—neither do you."
He smiled but you couldn't find yourself to reply. “I’ll inform the head maid.”
He was already gone. You walked inside, eyes already on you.
"Great." you cleared your throat.
You pretended it was a hassle, but your heart pounded in your chest.
You would see him every day, for longer now.
How…
Exciting?
That was the problem, wasn’t it?
Masterlist - Next
*Rubbing my hands together like a plotting fly* <3
I almost forgot ( @sleep101, @cyaniderainfal )
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And so, the woman dies. The woman dies so the man can be sad about it. The woman dies so the man can suffer. She dies to give him a destiny. Dies so he can fall to the dark side. Dies so he can lament her death. As he stands there, brimming with grief, brimming with life, the woman lies there in silence. The woman dies for him.
- The Woman Dies by Aoko Matsuda
Summary: Kyle gets you into body armour. Soap has plans for winning you over. And Kyle regrets agreeing to meet with Soap before their morning meeting.
Content warnings: mdni, full series warning
AN: nothing to see here
"Not you too?" you groan, sitting on a bench in the armory as Kyle lays out gear in front of you, explaining each of the pieces before slipping in a comment about how Tav was taking it really hard, maybe you should talk to him.
"Me too?" he asks, holding out what the CIA typically wore as concealed body armour.
"Yeah, I've heard it all from Soap and then again from Ghost."
"Wait, hold up, Ghost talked to you about Soap?"
You frown at him. Kyle knew he had done a piss poor job of apologizing and not making things awkward after the hookup, especially since you were now the object of Soap's very singular attention. Attention that you might not have received had Kyle not crossed that line with you. It was hard not to blame his own indiscretion for the position you were in.
"Yeah, something along the lines of Johnny's mine, doesn't matter who he's fucking."
Kyle let out a bark of laughter, still holding the body armour as you shrug out of your button up, revealing a loose tank top beneath.
"Made for each other, those two."
You don't look particularly pleased by that or the direction of this conversation. Despite taking off your outer shirt you make no move to take the armour. You ignore the other pieces he has laid out for you.
"Why do I even need fancy boots or body armour? Kate said it wasn't dangerous."
Kyle keeps his gaze on your face, its the professional thing to do, any lower and he would be distracted by the curve of your shoulders, the slope of your collar bones, the expanse of skin that tempts him to touch.
"It shouldn't be but there is no way we are sending you out there, even if its with Price or Ghost, without protection. We've all done this long enough to know you cannot control everything so you prepare for it instead."
When you first came Kyle didn't care what happened to you, just another CIA busybody who thought they knew more than the 141 did. They had met more than their fair share of analysts and CIA types who thought the taskforce was a bunch of dumb soldiers, glorified guns for hire, and maybe their ops leaned dangerously towards the territory of PMCs, but there was nothing dumb about the four of them, or any of their allies for that matter.
It had been easy to assume you would be the same. It took one meeting though to see you were the real deal when it came to your work. When they had been allowed to train with you you had been patient and understanding, you never held it against him he didn't understand the intricacies of circuitry like Soap.
You would have made a great teacher.
Instead you are sitting here scowling at him as he explains different types of body armour, the gear they expect you to wear in the field and what you would be carrying.
"Come on, Mars. Arms in and then you can put your shirt back on."
Please put your shirt back on.
When you finally acquiesce, Kyles tries not to watch your body twist and turn as he guides each of your arms through, before securing it at your sides, careful not to let his fingers touch you for too long. He's hard enough just imagining what you would look like in their tactical gear, all strapped in and secure.
"Shirt on over the armour," he instructs. "Boots, then pack. We are going to take a spin around the grounds."
"Why?"
"Because you need to get comfortable with the weight of it all or you are going to stick out like a sore thumb."
*************
The base was lively by the time Kyle had you all suited up. Soap and Ghost were on the training fields with Bradley's team, running drills and trying to instill some sense of direction in those idiots. Kyle had thanked his lucky stars that he wasn't on training duty this morning, even more so that it was you that he was spending time with.
You were pulling at your shirt, shifting your weight awkwardly and twisting a bit as you walked. Kyle wasn't in full gear but he had tried to approximate what Ghost or Price might opt for, wanting to get you comfortable with the number of concealed weapons either of them would have.
"What are you doing?" Kyle asks as you stomp across the unused field.
You turn woodenly to face him, shoulders tense, arms held straight at your sides as if you were trying to avoid the feel for the armour beneath your shirt.
"I'm walking."
"No, you look like this."
Kyle mimes your stiff, robot-like walk. You laugh, shoulders finally relaxing as you push him in the chest. He leans heavily as if you were actually strong enough to push him.
You cross your arms, glaring at him as he laughs but there is still a ghost of a smile. Even as you feign annoyance there is something in the way you hold yourself that would stand out to the trained eye.
"Stop laughing!"
Once Kyle was able to calm himself and you had adjusted your stance to something less awkward Kyle takes you across the rest of the unused field. You shouldn't spend much time out of the city center for the field test, but better be prepared and comfortable with all settings, so trudging through a muddy field is a good first stop.
At the far end of the field Kyle stops to let you adjust the straps of the pack, not used to carrying so much. From their new location Kyle can make out Ghost's menacing form towering over the sea of faceless soldiers.
"Would you be over there if you weren't babysitting me?" you ask, following Kyle's gaze.
"Not babysitting you, Mars. This is training."
You stop fiddling with the straps to stare at Kyle, you don't believe him.
"I mean it, plus, I would be in PT right now and I would much rather be here with you than in the gym with a bunch of knobs who smell like sweat and balls."
"This is better?" you ask with a tone that suggests you would much rather be anywhere but doing this.
Kyle looks around, the field is a bit bleak, the sky overcast, there was a bite to the wind that spoke to winter's approach, but he was here with you and that was good enough.
"Much better, now, come on. I want to see you try and climb over the obstacle course, get a feel for where you are at physically."
*************
"Why are we here so early, Tav?"
Kyle was sitting in the 141's conference room, a cup of steaming coffee in front of him, he hadn't even had time for milk or sugar, Soap hurrying him along.
Soap sat in John's seat, steepling his fingers like a knockoff villain. Kyle had hoped, had prayed that this was something serious, something important, but as Soap made eye contact with him from the unofficial seat of importance, Kyle knew he was going to regret agreeing to meet.
"We 'ave a problem, goan tae 'ave tae solve it."
"We?"
"Aye, Ah ken Mars is interested, kissed back like someone interested. Now we 'ave tae convince 'er that it's okay."
Kyle stares. Soap has the most earnest look on his face. Soap really thinks that this was the best and most appropriate time to do this.
"Tav, why the fuck are we here so early?"
"Ah just told ye."
Kyle had had his suspicions about what fresh hell Soap needed to discuss at the ass crack of dawn, but he had hoped it was not about you.
"I don't know how I feel about this."
"Ye 'aven't let me tell ye what the plan is."
Kyle waved him on.
"Mars thinks that Ghost and Ah are nae on the same page about our relationship. Thinks that Simon hates 'er."
"Mate, Ghost definitely doesn't like her."
"'s nae that. Ah dinnae think 'e trusts 'er, Price either. Two of them are up tae somethin'."
Kyle nods. He didn't need confirmation of his own suspicions, but it helps. More than anything it helps that Soap also seems to either not care or not agree with whatever it was that Ghost and Price knew.
"What's your big plan then?"
"Ah still 'ave tae iron out the minor details, but Ah was thinkin' you and Ah—"
"Me?"
"Aye, ye havnae lost interest in Mars?"
"No, but—"
"So ye 'ave tae 'elp with the plan, it's a team effort."
Kyle took a swig of his coffee, the burn grounding. He wished it was something stronger, something with a bit more bite.
"I don't see how this needs to be a team effort. I'm not going to wingman for you so you can convince our temporary teammate to fuck you."
"Well when ye put it like that Ah sound like a right bastard. Ah want Mars tae ken that she's free to explore whatever she wants with us, ye ken? And the two of ye already 'ad a moment, what's another one tae 'elp out a friend?"
"I'm going to regret this."
Soap pulls out a folder with handwritten notes in it and launches into an explanation of his plan. It is both horrifying and impressive the planning the Scot has put into trying to convince you to accept his advances. If Kyle didn't know Soap as well as he did he would worry about the man taking this too far, that his interest, while possibly reciprocated, was dancing into the obsession category, but Kyle knows that Soap means well. That at the end of the day he would respect your decision. But, until he knew you had all the facts and had made an informed decision, he would be a dog with a bone.
*************
"I'll start with the bad news, then we can move on to more important topics," John had swiftly removed Soap from his spot when he arrived to the meeting to find Kyle and Soap already there. Kyle had tried to warn the other sergeant about the time, but he had claimed that the spot was giving him good vibes.
By the time Ghost arrived the team was settled into their spots, Soap had tucked away his folder and sat there as if they hadn't spent the last half hour discussing how to prove to you Ghost was fine with you and Soap.
"Got word from the top that Mars is not approved for demolitions training, you are going to proceed as planned with Captain Bradley's team."
"'S nae fair," Soap grumbles under his breathe.
"Got something to say, Sergeant?"
"No sir."
"Good, now Laswell sent over some new reports on the Sons of Freedom, locations, new names, new people bankrolling their operations and somehow they have evaded capture at every turn."
"Got someone on the inside?" Ghost asks, flipping through the file that Price had passed him.
"Can't say for sure, but Laswell is exploring it. We're still grounded for the moment, but Hermes will be put on hold if they make a move. They're our top priority.
Kyle nods, flipping through his own folder. If Hermes was put on hold would you stay or would you be sent back? The idea of you leaving twists something in his chest. You wouldn't be back, hadn't wanted to be here in the first place and now that you were being forced to go into the field? There was no way you wouldn't take the chance to avoid that.
"And the American? Still hasn't talked?" Ghost puts the file down, his gazing lingering on the stack before trailing back up to their captain.
"He's talkin'. About everyone and everythin', none of it about the Sons. Kate thinks he's a dead end. A distraction."
"So he wasn't a member?" Gaz has studied the profiles from Laswell's team, he fit the bill. Disillusioned with his country, his government, spurned from his calling, felt like the world owed him something. His arrogance before they sedated him was astounding.
"No, not a card carryin' member anyway, knew enough about the group but swore up and down that wasn't who 'e was workin' for.
"So we wait?"
"Until Laswell has more to go, aye. 'ave to plan the Hermes field test in the meantime. Gaz, how did your training with Mars go?"
"Good, got her kitted out with gear, walked her through the weapons we carry in the field. Even got her to go through most of the west obstacle course. We made a game plan for the base test as well, Mars would prefer we are all there because she can do a full demonstration with Perry acting as mission control."
"Fine, you can coordinate with her on that."
Kyle nods, writing a reminder to himself to check schedules. Unless they worked late, or Perry worked earlier there was a smaller window of time and the 141 already had a pretty full training schedule with Bradley's team still on base.
"Anything else?"
"I think Mars is a bit nervous about the field test."
"Doesn't think we can do our jobs, keep her safe? Not good enough for her?"
Kyle doesn't like ire in his captain's voice. The man has been so hot and cold about you, Kyle can't keep up. Was there something truly at play here or was this a case of Price's typically disdain for civilians.
Either way, it irked Kyle because you had been nothing but professional, his own momentary lapse of judgment aside.
"It's not that and you know it. If you took just a moment of time to get to know Mars better, and playing card one time does not count, you would know just how untrue that is."
Ghost laughs, turning towards the two sergeants with what Kyle could only imagine was a sneer under that mask.
"Get to know Mars better, is that what ya call it? Chasin' after 'er like a couple of dogs."
"'least we arnae makin' 'er feel unwelcome."
"Wasn't that her runnin' from ya the other night?" Ghost shoots back.
Soap could insist all he wanted that Ghost didn't hate you, but there was something there, some deepseeded dislike, something akin to hate if not outright hate. It didn't matter what Ghost had told Soap. Ghost could swear to the whole team he didn't have a problem with Soap fucking you, but he would not be able to defend his clear hatred of you with the same conviction.
"Haud yer wheesht, Ah already talked tae ye aboot that."
"Enough!" Price didn't raise his voice, but the command was enough to stop cut through everything else. "I don't want to hear about you chasing after Mars, or any other shenanigans you three get up to. You keep that shit to yourselves and our barracks, and if any of you get caught doing something comprising it is your ass, not mine, on the line. Are we clear."
"Aye."
"Yes, Sir."
Ghost doesn't respond, but he turns back towards Price, a clear end to the argument.
"Good, now, Ghost will be the one accompanying Mars on the field test. The town Laswell chose is one that Ghost is familiar with and somewhere cold, so he won't need to change much to blend in."
Price rattles off facts about the region, known troublemakers, previous run ins there. Ghost outlines the op that had him staying there for over a month, blending in as a civilian.
The rest of the meeting is standard protocol until Price dismisses them. Ghost doesn't make a move, but Soap is practically dragging Kyle from his seat and out the door.
"Ye hear that?"
"Which part?"
"Price disnae care what we dae with Mars."
"Bloody hell, Soap, is that all you got from that?"
"Nae, Ah also 'eard what 'e said about Hermes. We get deployed Mars might nae be 'ere when we get back. Ah might miss mah chance!"
Kyle drops into the chair at his desk, he has maybe fifteen minutes before he has to lead a training session and he hasn't had any time to do the normal prep that he would have by now after Soap's intrusion into his morning and the length of their meeting.
"Soap, mate, if I promise to help you with whatever ass backwards plan you have will you please leave me alone?"
"Aye."
"Great, don't you have work to do? Demo training to prep for?"
"Ahm all done with that. Wasnae 'ard tae adjust the trainin' fer this group, yeah? Nae the brightest bunch, back tae basics fer them."
"And you're already done?"
Soap simply nodded. Kyle wants to be mad at him because it is Soap's fault he is behind, but he can't find it in him. For all Soap's misguided plans and over-exuberance, he is one of the smartest people Kyle knows, maybe only rivaled by you. It wasn't shocking that Soap had already re-worked a training module for this group in the short amount of time they were back on top of mission reports, PT, other standard training.
He shouldn't have even bothered asking, the Scot had probably spent more time working on his plan to seduce you than he had on his job. Which wasn't a commentary on how well he did his job, because Kyle knew from experience if asked for Soap's notes, for an explanation of methodology, the regulations behind the controlled explosions, Soap would be able to answer with precision and perfection each and every time.
"Aye, you're goin' tae 'ave to 'elp with the demolitions demo. Ghost is still mad about 'is balaclava."
"Mate, you singed his favorite mask. I would be mad too!" Kyle shoots back with a laugh.
"Told 'im 'e was standin' tae close. Nae mah fault!"
Kyle wouldn't gladly help with the demolitions demonstration, it meant sitting back and watching Soap in his element for a few hours. Maybe not better than watching you struggle through an obstacle course, but much better than PT.
