JULES

Strange, wasn’t he always so effortlessly cheerful? You expected him to be bidding farewell to his fellow knight. Why was he so far away?

You steadied your breath and walked closer, descending the steps until you reached his side. 

“Good morning, my lord,” you said, curtsying.

At the sound of your voice, his back straightened immediately, and he turned to you.

“Good morning!” he greeted brightly—ah, there it is. “Did you rest well?”

“…Yes…” you nodded, then glanced toward Alex.

Kyle followed your gaze. “You made it in time, Farah's been holding him back for quite some time now,” he explained, leaning back against the stairs once more.

“Are you not going?” you asked, confused.

“No,” he said simply. “Nothing for me to mope about. He’ll be back. He’s not on death’s door.”

“Didn’t you say we were close to war?” 

“It’s metaphorical,” he said, arms still crossed. “More of a battle of wit between my father and the duke.” 

Little interactions like this gave you pieces of the kingdom’s political state.

The duke was just a looming force, a symbol of resistance against the current king.

They had caught spies. Alex didn’t go into detail about how they got information out of them, but it was implied. That thought sent a chill down your spine.

But you'd be fine, you just had to be careful not to raise too much suspicion. You were doing good so far. 

“I don't know what happened, but he's been glued to her for days now," Kyle sighed, looking toward the two knights. "How does she deal with that?”

Your eyes remained on him. A smile tickled the corner of your lips as you battled the urge to respond. Wasn't this the pot calling the kettle black? He was much more clingy with you than Alex was with Farah.

Just the last few days alone, Farah would come to you looking for him, and without fail, she found him.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was only here because he knew you would be too. But that would be absurd. He wouldn’t possibly be standing here in the chilly morning air just to see you.

“It doesn’t look like she minds,” you said with a shrug, turning your attention back to the knights.

They were lost in their own conversation. The way their hands brushed. The tenderness in their exchanged glances.

“It’s a bit much, if you ask me,” Kyle smiled, turning back to you. “Well, it matters little now as I’m not here for him.” He shrugged.

“I see. But Lady Farah seems well—then again, I suppose you would know if she wasn’t,” you replied. What were you playing at? You knew what he was saying, didn’t you?

He scoffed, nodding to himself before jerking his head toward the carriage. “Looks like he’s waiting. Go on, hurry so he can leave,” he said, though he failed to suppress a smile. 

Your pocket felt heavier as you looked at him, but you bowed your head and walked to the carriage.

You quickened your step, making sure to salute them both.

“You’re up early,” Farah said, crossing her arms. 

“I couldn’t miss Sir Keller’s departure!” you said looking at her a little long. Farah exchanged a look with Alex before smiling and stepping away. 

“I told you to rest, didn't I?” Alex asked with a pointed look.

“But am I not allowed a proper goodbye?” you replied, lifting your shoulder. “My teacher is leaving”

“The sooner this is over, the sooner I can have leisure time. I could even bring you to my village,” 

"I believe I am not allowed out without Lord Garrick,” you chuckled. “Especially not with you.”

He peeked behind you before leaning in. “I'll sneak you out,” He grinned,

“Promise?” you whispered back.

“It's a promise” he nodded. He hesitated for a moment, “You already told me goodbye last night…yet here you are” he squinted, “I hope you are not planning to give me an unwanted gift again?” 

“No,” you said, feeling heat creep on his ear. “I had things to do. I thought I could see you one last time?” you said.

“Is this a statement or are you asking me?” he questioned, you looked back.

“Your lady has been keeping him locked away…” you whispered, another excuse.

“Don’t make me laugh, I’ve got reports of a lord missing from duty almost every day.” 

“Yes, I see him in passing, but I have no time to prepare.” 

“Prepare for what? It's a simple gesture is it not?” he tilted his head. “Unless it means something to you?” 

“It doesn't,” you quickly replied.

“Then I shall leave you, to it” he said, turning away.

“You leave me with my lament?” you teased. 

“I already got rid of mine, why would I take on yours?” he winked walking inside his carriage. 

You watched as the carriage rolled away with a heavy heart. You were already counting the days until their return. Your days were about to be a whole lot different. You stopped yourself from glancing Kyle’s way.

“What were you two plotting?” Farah asked

“Nothing, my lady, I was simply bidding him farewell,” you said.

She nodded, glancing back at you. “We haven’t talked in a while,” she said. That's true, you also only saw her in passing too!

What an opportunity!

“That is right my lady, shall I bring you tea and we could chat about?” Hopefully she would say yes. The thing you have to do can wait.

“You seem to have prior engagements” she chuckled.

“I’ll walk you back,” Lord Garrick proposed, stepping closer. You didn’t even flinch at his sudden appearance.

You hesitated, but Farah smiled. “I won’t take it personally,” she said. “It’s still dark, who knows what might happen in the ten steps it takes to go back inside?” She chuckled. Though she meant to sound condescending, her voice carried a warmth that betrayed her true feelings.

You nodded before starting the walk. It wasn’t as dark as she said. The sky was just starting to turn a lighter blue. The air was still a bit damp as you walked through the yard. You glanced back at Kyle. 

“So you weren't there for Lady Karim, my Lord?”

He chuckled, “No, I thought a certain someone would be here too this morning,” he stated, “Though they love playing oblivious, now that I’ve seen them, it is a good morning.” He grinned, you felt your heart stirred.

“I hope you didn’t get too much of a scolding from Lady Karim,” 

“Quite a lot to be honest,” he chuckled, "but I got used to it, she got tired of it, eventually I got to walk you back to your quarters" he shrugged.

“I apologize, it was my fault, you wasted as much time” 

“It wasn’t,” he said softly. “The only thing you are guilty of is invading my mind” he muttered.

You're trying really fervently to invade mine. 

“I apologize for this as well, it was never my intention,” 

Your feet stopped as the brown door of the maids' quarters loomed over you. Was the walk through the courtyard always this short?

“Here you are,” Kyle said.

You hesitated this was the moment, now or never. It was nothing to make a fuss about.

Your hand slipped into your pocket, playing with the jar. He sighed and spoke again 

“Alex comes and goes in this manor. He will come back eventually. You can send him letters,” he continued, voice soft.

You should go back inside, and start your daily chores, not linger here. 

It was a small gesture, but that would be over stepping. 

You were deep in your thoughts, not realising that to anyone else's perspective you were eerily quiet.

“Is your heart that heavy?” He asked as he stepped closer. 

You finally pulled it out, almost hiding it in the skirt of your dress. Your heart was beating with volume and your hand was sweating a little.

It was just a kind gesture. So why were you so nervous?

Maybe because his gift had been thoughtful—an intricate box with fine details—while all you had was this, looking embarrassingly bland.

Moreover… you had never given anyone a gift before.

Especially not someone you—

You what?

God. Maybe you should just shove it back in. There would be other occasions. He didn’t see it, did he?

“What is that?” his voice echoed in the corridors of your mind, finding your senses pulling you back.

Hell.

He looked at your hand and back to your face, you gently held it out to him. The knot holding the fabric lid of the pot tickling your forefinger. 

“It’s a little late. But I got your box the other day…It was only normal that I thanked my Lord for being so thoughtful.” You explained, though he looked confused, a smile still adorned his lips. 

He was smiling at you. He always did, no matter what. And that consoled your nervous heart.

“Did you get it at the market? You shouldn’t have, the coins were for you to spend on yourself.” He explained with an amused look on his face, taking it from your hand and inspecting it.

“I made it with the berries we got that day…I had more than enough, so please keep this one, my lord.” 

His grip suddenly tightened around the little pot pulling it back towards himself. His smile faltered for a second.

“You made it?” He asked, “and you're giving it…to me?”

You felt suddenly flustered. “To be honest, I only helped. The cook did most of it, the spices and other ingredients were his idea, really.” You rambled, nervously looking at his reaction. He didn’t respond.

Did he hate it, you thought you could read him, but right now he was quiet and that pot in his hand was starting to look uglier to you, the cover was barely presentable, the knot a bit messy. Adopted or not he was royalty, he was raised with standards and this was subpar.

You pressed your lips together, and you held your hand out desperate to take it for him, before it got more embarrassing.

“M-my apology, I shouldn’t disrespect you with such a gift, my lord, I-I’ll take it back,” 

He retreated from you with the brightest smile on his lips. Stirring your heart even further.

“No! I’m sorry…it’s just...you thought of me,” He trailed looking at your face for a second, his eyes went to your lips, and he bit his own, thinking. “Do you want to share some with me?” He asked with excitement filling his voice, he was almost giggling. 

Your chest warmed. He liked it. You didn’t have much to offer, yet he accepted that small gesture as if it meant everything.

And as it seemed to happen a lot lately. You smiled. You were scared for nothing.

Of course he would react this way. You shook your head. Why were you feeling bashful all of the sudden?

“I took enough of my lord's time today, and I have to start with my duties and you should get back to yours.” you said, chuckling looking at the small jar in his hand.

His grip seemed a bit tight though. It was just jam. 

You raised your head to meet his eyes. Your smile dimmed. He was staring at you in awe, or was he upset. You weren’t sure. There was nothing to be shocked about so he must be angry. Oh did you forget yourself? You did reject his offer just now.

“Can I ask for a favor?” He started, you waited for him to elaborate. “Alex is gone, you won’t be going to the stables so often. You’ll have free time.” 

You nodded, was he going to punish you?

“That time, give it to me” he asked 

You paused, did he have to add work to fill the gap. Well you had nothing else to do, so why not. He was the master after all, you should do as he says.

“Very well,” you said nodding, “I will tend to my lord, if that is what you wish.” You bowed. 

He chuckled, “No, that's not what I asked.” 

“Then I don’t–”

“Come find me, like you went to him.” He explained “If there is something you want to learn I'll teach you, if you need to talk, I’ll listen.” He breathed out. “What I’m asking is for you to spend time with me,”

Spending more time with him. More than the sparse glances and greetings you received lately. Strangely, the idea of more wasn’t as distasteful as it was before. Your heart should hate it. 

So why was it screaming for you to say yes?

Your eyes darted to the yard where a few maids were already carrying buckets of water.

Right, you couldn’t. There were so many reasons why you couldn’t. Boundaries you set. Rules that prevent them. Not only for you but also for him. 

Spending time with him would only make things complicated. 

“I’m afraid I must refuse, my lord, it is simply not proper, for a man of your stature to spend leisure time with me, even in friendship,” you stated.

“Friendship?” He echoed you.

“Isn’t it what you seek, for us to be friends, similar to Sir Kelker and I?” 

The maids already have their idea, it would only disrupt the calm of the manor. You couldn’t risk—

“No.” he said, getting close. “I want something for us,” he said. “Just the two of us,” 

You swallowed, you don't know what he is talking about, no you don’t understand, you don’t want to understand.

“My lord I don’t–”

“It's not me you fear anymore, is it?” he asked softly, seemingly already knowing the answer.

“I simply can’t spend my leisure time with you.” You unconsciously glance at the yard again. He understood.

“Very well then, don’t come in your free time.” He said, "I’ll just take you as my personal servant. Is that alright with you?” 

“If that's what my lords—” 

“No, I'm asking you. Does my pathetic excuse to see you, suit you?” He asked above a whisper.

You nodded slowly. His gaze lingered on yours for a moment before he nodded also.

"And let me be clear," he said, voice softer, "I have no desire to be Alex for you. And if I’m not mistaken—" he tilted his head slightly, eyes sharp "—neither do you."

He smiled but you couldn't find yourself to reply. “I’ll inform the head maid.”

He was already gone. You walked inside, eyes already on you.

"Great." you cleared your throat. 

You pretended it was a hassle, but your heart pounded in your chest.

You would see him every day, for longer now. 

How…

Exciting?

That was the problem, wasn’t it?

Masterlist - Next

You don't look particularly pleased by that or the direction of this conversation. Despite taking off your outer shirt you make no move to take the armour. You ignore the other pieces he has laid out for you.

"Why do I even need fancy boots or body armour? Kate said it wasn't dangerous."

Kyle keeps his gaze on your face, its the professional thing to do, any lower and he would be distracted by the curve of your shoulders, the slope of your collar bones, the expanse of skin that tempts him to touch.

"It shouldn't be but there is no way we are sending you out there, even if its with Price or Ghost, without protection. We've all done this long enough to know you cannot control everything so you prepare for it instead."

When you first came Kyle didn't care what happened to you, just another CIA busybody who thought they knew more than the 141 did. They had met more than their fair share of analysts and CIA types who thought the taskforce was a bunch of dumb soldiers, glorified guns for hire, and maybe their ops leaned dangerously towards the territory of PMCs, but there was nothing dumb about the four of them, or any of their allies for that matter.

It had been easy to assume you would be the same. It took one meeting though to see you were the real deal when it came to your work. When they had been allowed to train with you you had been patient and understanding, you never held it against him he didn't understand the intricacies of circuitry like Soap.

You would have made a great teacher.

Instead you are sitting here scowling at him as he explains different types of body armour, the gear they expect you to wear in the field and what you would be carrying.

"Come on, Mars. Arms in and then you can put your shirt back on."

Please put your shirt back on.

When you finally acquiesce, Kyles tries not to watch your body twist and turn as he guides each of your arms through, before securing it at your sides, careful not to let his fingers touch you for too long. He's hard enough just imagining what you would look like in their tactical gear, all strapped in and secure.

"Shirt on over the armour," he instructs. "Boots, then pack. We are going to take a spin around the grounds."

"Why?"

"Because you need to get comfortable with the weight of it all or you are going to stick out like a sore thumb."

*************

The base was lively by the time Kyle had you all suited up. Soap and Ghost were on the training fields with Bradley's team, running drills and trying to instill some sense of direction in those idiots. Kyle had thanked his lucky stars that he wasn't on training duty this morning, even more so that it was you that he was spending time with.

You were pulling at your shirt, shifting your weight awkwardly and twisting a bit as you walked. Kyle wasn't in full gear but he had tried to approximate what Ghost or Price might opt for, wanting to get you comfortable with the number of concealed weapons either of them would have.

"What are you doing?" Kyle asks as you stomp across the unused field.

You turn woodenly to face him, shoulders tense, arms held straight at your sides as if you were trying to avoid the feel for the armour beneath your shirt.

"I'm walking."

"No, you look like this."

Kyle mimes your stiff, robot-like walk. You laugh, shoulders finally relaxing as you push him in the chest. He leans heavily as if you were actually strong enough to push him.

You cross your arms, glaring at him as he laughs but there is still a ghost of a smile. Even as you feign annoyance there is something in the way you hold yourself that would stand out to the trained eye.

"Stop laughing!"

Once Kyle was able to calm himself and you had adjusted your stance to something less awkward Kyle takes you across the rest of the unused field. You shouldn't spend much time out of the city center for the field test, but better be prepared and comfortable with all settings, so trudging through a muddy field is a good first stop.

At the far end of the field Kyle stops to let you adjust the straps of the pack, not used to carrying so much. From their new location Kyle can make out Ghost's menacing form towering over the sea of faceless soldiers.

"Would you be over there if you weren't babysitting me?" you ask, following Kyle's gaze.

"Not babysitting you, Mars. This is training."

You stop fiddling with the straps to stare at Kyle, you don't believe him.

"I mean it, plus, I would be in PT right now and I would much rather be here with you than in the gym with a bunch of knobs who smell like sweat and balls."

"This is better?" you ask with a tone that suggests you would much rather be anywhere but doing this.

Kyle looks around, the field is a bit bleak, the sky overcast, there was a bite to the wind that spoke to winter's approach, but he was here with you and that was good enough.

"Much better, now, come on. I want to see you try and climb over the obstacle course, get a feel for where you are at physically."

*************

"Why are we here so early, Tav?"

Kyle was sitting in the 141's conference room, a cup of steaming coffee in front of him, he hadn't even had time for milk or sugar, Soap hurrying him along.

Soap sat in John's seat, steepling his fingers like a knockoff villain. Kyle had hoped, had prayed that this was something serious, something important, but as Soap made eye contact with him from the unofficial seat of importance, Kyle knew he was going to regret agreeing to meet.

"We 'ave a problem, goan tae 'ave tae solve it."

"We?"

"Aye, Ah ken Mars is interested, kissed back like someone interested. Now we 'ave tae convince 'er that it's okay."

Kyle stares. Soap has the most earnest look on his face. Soap really thinks that this was the best and most appropriate time to do this.

"Tav, why the fuck are we here so early?"

"Ah just told ye."

Kyle had had his suspicions about what fresh hell Soap needed to discuss at the ass crack of dawn, but he had hoped it was not about you.

"I don't know how I feel about this."

"Ye 'aven't let me tell ye what the plan is."

Kyle waved him on.

"Mars thinks that Ghost and Ah are nae on the same page about our relationship. Thinks that Simon hates 'er."

"Mate, Ghost definitely doesn't like her."

"'s nae that. Ah dinnae think 'e trusts 'er, Price either. Two of them are up tae somethin'."

Kyle nods. He didn't need confirmation of his own suspicions, but it helps. More than anything it helps that Soap also seems to either not care or not agree with whatever it was that Ghost and Price knew.

"What's your big plan then?"

"Ah still 'ave tae iron out the minor details, but Ah was thinkin' you and Ah—"

"Me?"

"Aye, ye havnae lost interest in Mars?"

"No, but—"

"So ye 'ave tae 'elp with the plan, it's a team effort."

Kyle took a swig of his coffee, the burn grounding. He wished it was something stronger, something with a bit more bite.

"I don't see how this needs to be a team effort. I'm not going to wingman for you so you can convince our temporary teammate to fuck you."

"Well when ye put it like that Ah sound like a right bastard. Ah want Mars tae ken that she's free to explore whatever she wants with us, ye ken? And the two of ye already 'ad a moment, what's another one tae 'elp out a friend?"

"I'm going to regret this."

Soap pulls out a folder with handwritten notes in it and launches into an explanation of his plan. It is both horrifying and impressive the planning the Scot has put into trying to convince you to accept his advances. If Kyle didn't know Soap as well as he did he would worry about the man taking this too far, that his interest, while possibly reciprocated, was dancing into the obsession category, but Kyle knows that Soap means well. That at the end of the day he would respect your decision. But, until he knew you had all the facts and had made an informed decision, he would be a dog with a bone.

*************

"I'll start with the bad news, then we can move on to more important topics," John had swiftly removed Soap from his spot when he arrived to the meeting to find Kyle and Soap already there. Kyle had tried to warn the other sergeant about the time, but he had claimed that the spot was giving him good vibes.

By the time Ghost arrived the team was settled into their spots, Soap had tucked away his folder and sat there as if they hadn't spent the last half hour discussing how to prove to you Ghost was fine with you and Soap.

"Got word from the top that Mars is not approved for demolitions training, you are going to proceed as planned with Captain Bradley's team."

"'S nae fair," Soap grumbles under his breathe.

"Got something to say, Sergeant?"

"No sir."

"Good, now Laswell sent over some new reports on the Sons of Freedom, locations, new names, new people bankrolling their operations and somehow they have evaded capture at every turn."

"Got someone on the inside?" Ghost asks, flipping through the file that Price had passed him.

"Can't say for sure, but Laswell is exploring it. We're still grounded for the moment, but Hermes will be put on hold if they make a move. They're our top priority.

Kyle nods, flipping through his own folder. If Hermes was put on hold would you stay or would you be sent back? The idea of you leaving twists something in his chest. You wouldn't be back, hadn't wanted to be here in the first place and now that you were being forced to go into the field? There was no way you wouldn't take the chance to avoid that.

"And the American? Still hasn't talked?" Ghost puts the file down, his gazing lingering on the stack before trailing back up to their captain.

"He's talkin'. About everyone and everythin', none of it about the Sons. Kate thinks he's a dead end. A distraction."

"So he wasn't a member?" Gaz has studied the profiles from Laswell's team, he fit the bill. Disillusioned with his country, his government, spurned from his calling, felt like the world owed him something. His arrogance before they sedated him was astounding.

"No, not a card carryin' member anyway, knew enough about the group but swore up and down that wasn't who 'e was workin' for.

"So we wait?"

"Until Laswell has more to go, aye. 'ave to plan the Hermes field test in the meantime. Gaz, how did your training with Mars go?"

"Good, got her kitted out with gear, walked her through the weapons we carry in the field. Even got her to go through most of the west obstacle course. We made a game plan for the base test as well, Mars would prefer we are all there because she can do a full demonstration with Perry acting as mission control."

"Fine, you can coordinate with her on that."

Kyle nods, writing a reminder to himself to check schedules. Unless they worked late, or Perry worked earlier there was a smaller window of time and the 141 already had a pretty full training schedule with Bradley's team still on base.

"Anything else?"

"I think Mars is a bit nervous about the field test."

"Doesn't think we can do our jobs, keep her safe? Not good enough for her?"

Kyle doesn't like ire in his captain's voice. The man has been so hot and cold about you, Kyle can't keep up. Was there something truly at play here or was this a case of Price's typically disdain for civilians.

Either way, it irked Kyle because you had been nothing but professional, his own momentary lapse of judgment aside.

"It's not that and you know it. If you took just a moment of time to get to know Mars better, and playing card one time does not count, you would know just how untrue that is."

Ghost laughs, turning towards the two sergeants with what Kyle could only imagine was a sneer under that mask.

"Get to know Mars better, is that what ya call it? Chasin' after 'er like a couple of dogs."

"'least we arnae makin' 'er feel unwelcome."

"Wasn't that her runnin' from ya the other night?" Ghost shoots back.

Soap could insist all he wanted that Ghost didn't hate you, but there was something there, some deepseeded dislike, something akin to hate if not outright hate. It didn't matter what Ghost had told Soap. Ghost could swear to the whole team he didn't have a problem with Soap fucking you, but he would not be able to defend his clear hatred of you with the same conviction.

"Haud yer wheesht, Ah already talked tae ye aboot that."

"Enough!" Price didn't raise his voice, but the command was enough to stop cut through everything else. "I don't want to hear about you chasing after Mars, or any other shenanigans you three get up to. You keep that shit to yourselves and our barracks, and if any of you get caught doing something comprising it is your ass, not mine, on the line. Are we clear."

"Aye."

"Yes, Sir."

Ghost doesn't respond, but he turns back towards Price, a clear end to the argument.

"Good, now, Ghost will be the one accompanying Mars on the field test. The town Laswell chose is one that Ghost is familiar with and somewhere cold, so he won't need to change much to blend in."

Price rattles off facts about the region, known troublemakers, previous run ins there. Ghost outlines the op that had him staying there for over a month, blending in as a civilian.

The rest of the meeting is standard protocol until Price dismisses them. Ghost doesn't make a move, but Soap is practically dragging Kyle from his seat and out the door.

"Ye hear that?"

"Which part?"

"Price disnae care what we dae with Mars."

"Bloody hell, Soap, is that all you got from that?"

"Nae, Ah also 'eard what 'e said about Hermes. We get deployed Mars might nae be 'ere when we get back. Ah might miss mah chance!"

Kyle drops into the chair at his desk, he has maybe fifteen minutes before he has to lead a training session and he hasn't had any time to do the normal prep that he would have by now after Soap's intrusion into his morning and the length of their meeting.

"Soap, mate, if I promise to help you with whatever ass backwards plan you have will you please leave me alone?"

"Aye."

"Great, don't you have work to do? Demo training to prep for?"

"Ahm all done with that. Wasnae 'ard tae adjust the trainin' fer this group, yeah? Nae the brightest bunch, back tae basics fer them."

"And you're already done?"

Soap simply nodded. Kyle wants to be mad at him because it is Soap's fault he is behind, but he can't find it in him. For all Soap's misguided plans and over-exuberance, he is one of the smartest people Kyle knows, maybe only rivaled by you. It wasn't shocking that Soap had already re-worked a training module for this group in the short amount of time they were back on top of mission reports, PT, other standard training.

He shouldn't have even bothered asking, the Scot had probably spent more time working on his plan to seduce you than he had on his job. Which wasn't a commentary on how well he did his job, because Kyle knew from experience if asked for Soap's notes, for an explanation of methodology, the regulations behind the controlled explosions, Soap would be able to answer with precision and perfection each and every time.

"Aye, you're goin' tae 'ave to 'elp with the demolitions demo. Ghost is still mad about 'is balaclava."

"Mate, you singed his favorite mask. I would be mad too!" Kyle shoots back with a laugh.

"Told 'im 'e was standin' tae close. Nae mah fault!"

Kyle wouldn't gladly help with the demolitions demonstration, it meant sitting back and watching Soap in his element for a few hours. Maybe not better than watching you struggle through an obstacle course, but much better than PT.