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50 posts!

My sweet Loves... I miss you so much. Everyday I search for you... I search for a way to get you back into my arms. I miss your smiles and kisses....

I miss combing your heads and playing games with you all. I miss making snacks and watching movies all night. I miss helping you guys with homework and going to the park. I miss the love you all gave me .... 

I feel alone now and heartbroken. Lost and pointless... This has made my entire world crash into a million pieces. I cant stand it at all. Please keep your faith.. I will find you again.

https://soundcloud.com/user-471104758/chamlek

Would it hurt your feelings if I told you I’m lonely?

That even tho we call each other Bae and send mushy texts , I still doubt you really do?

That I don’t get how you can do so many other things in the world but be with me beyond the bed or beyond us... ?

My heart is breaking with every moment I see you with the enemy befriending the cursed sins they weep upon the half dead.

I was told to start thinking about me ... To think about my children and myself. That I need to value myself and remember that only I control me and my own mindset. That I need to stand up and hold my head up high and be my own Hero. *Sigh* ... What if I Just moved away and started over for real this time? Disappeared until I am standing on my feet with solid ground beneath them. 

We go back and forth, one day I’m the love of your life the next it seems you can’t stand my existence.

Flawed I am but are you yourself perfect?

This beautiful work of art that treats themselves like dirt by pretending to be someone they aren’t ... I’ve seen YOU before and now you hide YOU and claim a life as if that part never had life as well.

I’m shattered ... torn apart and feeling like the world is caving inward towards a pit of nothingness.

I let go of past childish games and wants to be that better woman and yet still I’m unwanted...

What do you want from me?!

We are together then we aren’t, a semi love fest I keep being invited to join and like a fool I accept.

For play nights tossed around in your bed to be woken up before the sun can kiss the grounds of the pavement we walk and told “It’s time to go”

To express my pain is wrong in your eyes as it is deemed ungrateful... but please have a look at my wares?

Look at my broken heart and memories of lonely cold nights wishing the one person I gave my all to would just pick up the phone and say “Come to me”

For I let my soul wrap around your world... I’ve nothing left ....

But the joyous memories of when you did In fact love me and care for me ...

What am I now?

What are we now?