━ iii. about •• #about🦋misha

my name is misha but please call me any pet/nickname you wish! my pronouns are she/they, and i am 19 years of age (born july 4 lol). and i love too many fictional and 2d men to keep my fantasies to myself.

━ iv. tags

#misha🦋writes | all of my posted works

#about🦋misha | about me 

#mishas🦋faves | thirsting over various anime characters

#mishas🦋messenger | answering asks !

#recsfrommisha🦋 | reblogs of some of my fave fics <3

You met your soulmate at the age of six. As just a mere child, you had found a piece of yourself in someone else. 

It was the first day of schooling. On the first day, it nearly always consisted of crying children begging to stay with their parents and teachers pretending that everything was okay. 

You had walked to your first day alone. 

As you took the steps that lead to the small building, you walked by a small boy sobbing into his mother’s chest. She was petting his head and whispering something to him that you couldn’t hear.

He was the only one left outside.

“Look,” His mother said, this time in a voice a tad louder. Just enough for you to hear. “She is being brave and going in all by herself.”

The boy turned to you, tears in his eyes and face a shade of red that you never witnessed before. He looked on either side of you, assessing the fact that you were by yourself, and turned back to his mother.

“I can do it.” 

The boy wiped the tears that stained his cheeks and gave his mother one last hug, barely a second, before rushing to your side. You hadn’t realized that you paused on the steps. It was as if you were waiting for him.

“Hi.” The boy was a little small compared to you, still baby fat and full cheeks. “You’re alone?”

“Yeah.”

“Not anymore!” He smiled. You felt the need to squint. “I am Koutaro Bokuto and my dad isn’t here because he’s a knight, so that’s my mama. She said you’re brave.”

“I guess.” You walked again. Bokuto followed. “You’re brave, too.”

He sent another bright smile. This time it was accompanied by a twinkle in his golden eyes.

The friendship only grew from there. You would sit together during reading, play together during recess. He would wait for you on the steps every morning just to walk into the building together. 

This continued into advanced schooling, into your preteen years and into high school. 

He became a true friend.

At the age of ten, four years into your friendship, he asked you to have dinner at his house.

“Why?” You asked in return.

“I think it would be a good idea!” Bokuto took a bite of his lunch. “I can show you around! And my mother is a great cook.”

“I do not think...”

“Don’t think!” He pointed at you with his spoon. “Just agree!”

The thing about Koutaro Bokuto was that he was never formal. He would talk to teachers as if they were his friends; he would laugh at the King if he had the chance.

He was the only one you were informal with.

“Fine.” You slapped his hand away from stealing a bite of your lunch. “Meet me in the town square tonight?”

“Yay!”

That started your routine dinner. For years, you would either meet with Bokuto or arrive at his house for your final meal of the day. Bokuto’s mother would greet you every time with a smile that mimicked Bokuto’s and took your tastes into consideration while cooking.

Bokuto had a life that you wish you had. His parents were married, but his father was a knight who worked in the castle a majority of the time. He had two older sisters, one who was working towards becoming a teacher and one who was only two years older than you two. They would laugh and smile together, discuss each other’s days. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you and your mother had spoken since your father left on a mission to another kingdom.

A garden lined their backyard, and you found your peace in the flowers.

The line between love and friendship is rather thin. You love your friends, of course. But, when does that line blur and shift into something else entirely?

You feared you knew the tightrope of love.

The year between your first and second year of high school was the year Bokuto became taller than you.

He grew overnight, it seemed, as he arrived at your doorstep. His shoulders were muscular against his giant frame. You had to gain your bearings for a moment. 

You found yourself staring.

“You seem smaller.” He joked, obvious to his recent growth and broadness. 

“I suggest you bite your tongue.” You rolled your eyes. 

You were going to say another quip, something about gloating in the presence of a lady, when you noticed a bruise on his cheek. It was purple against his naturally sunkissed skin, boiled at the surface of his cheekbone directly under his right eye. 

His father.

You reached to trace the bruise that marked his skin. He must have forgotten about it; he sent you a confused look as you placed your hand on his cheek. 

“It was him again, wasn’t it?” Your thumb brushed the purple. Bokuto winced, but only a little.

“It is all right.” He took your hand off of his face and intertwined your fingers with his. “We will be late for school if you continue to stare.”

Holding hands was not something new to the friendship. Oftentimes, you would find your hand on his or fingers interlaced. Bokuto would grab your hand, and you would allow him to do so. It was a common occurrence.

But his hand in yours felt like flames. He was attempting to comfort you, telling you that it was all right without using more words. 

That he could endure the pain his father inflicted. 

"Twist your waist.” Bokuto giggled from across the grass. “You cannot possibly think you are doing this correctly.”

You sighed. “Kou, I am throwing knives. You are the one that is good at this. I am not.”

“You are good at everything you do.” He walked to your side.

He had placed a false target on several trees, lining from close to pretty distant from where you stood. The two of you spent most days under the leaves; there was a dock that lead to the seas close by, and you preferred the smell of the salt anyway. 

“This is the hardest part.” Bokuto stood directly behind you. You had grown used to his height and broadness, yet you still felt small with his chest at your back. “Here,”

His hands found your waist, clasping you at your sides. He turned you in a quick movement, only at the hips. 

“Do you see?” He was far too close for you to breathe. “Now repeat that motion, but aim at the same time.”

You inhaled when he took a step back. You felt the oxygen enter your lungs as if he had taken it away in his mere presence. 

You did as told, moving your hips as you held the knife in the same way he taught you. Letting it fly, the knife landed in the second-most outer ring of the target on the tree.

Bokuto cheered. You smiled, noticing the improvement. 

“I was right.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and leaned to your head. “You are good at everything you do.”

You wanted to tell him that you were still not hitting the middle, but you could not bring yourself to damper the mood. You pressed your side closer into him, instead, “And you are always right.”

Being the son of a King’s Knight, Koutaro Bokuto was invited to many of the castle’s festivities. There was a hierarchy according to profession, meaning that the richest were the ones who worked for and with the castle (The High Order: Knights, Cooks, Messengers). Many of the Magick and Medics lived with favor to the castle as well. 

You always stared at the Castle of Kageyama from afar. The castle sat on top of a giant hill that overlooked the rest of the kingdom; it was dark and always seemed to have a black shadow cast over it. You could only imagine how large it was if you were closer.

Bokuto and his sisters would tell you stories of balls, dinners, meetings. Sir Bokuto was high in the chain of command after General Shimizu, and that created a favorable blanket for the rest of his family. 

This particular time, Bokuto received an invitation to a ball for Princess Miwa. She decided to step down from the crown, not wishing to be a Queen and planned to travel to the other kingdoms and discover new things. The ball would be her departing gift.

Bokuto asked you to come alongside him.

“Kou, I would not even know what to wear.” You laughed. “I do not even know how to dance.”

“I want you to come.” Koutaro Bokuto pushed you. You fell onto his bedroom floor. “You do not need to dance to have fun. I am always bored at these events without you.”

“Are you able to invite me?”

“Yes, why could I not?”

“I would need a dress.”

“I can do that.”

You looked up at him from his floor, his eyes twinkling in hope and anticipation. How could you tell him no?

“Then I will go.”

The dress he brought to you was blue, mimicking his tailored black and white jacket and slacks with the same colored blue accents. 

You surprised yourself at how beautiful you could become, had given effort. The dress was one of his sister’s, but it fit you perfectly. You even did a spin in your mirror.

When you arrived minutes later at his doorstep, Bokuto was the one who opened the door.

He was surprised, too. With wide eyes, he blinked at you. “You look absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you.” You replied. You hoped that he would not notice the blush on your cheeks when he took your hand. 

You realized that your soulmate was Koutarou Bokuto at the age of fifteen. As a teenage, you had found a piece of yourself in someone else.

At the ball, he was someone new in your eyes. He smiled at everyone, talked to every person as if he knew all of them by name, waved at the cooks and they waved back. It was completely different than any atmosphere than you had witnessed.

You could not take your eyes off of him.

He left you for a moment, something about retrieving drinks, and you found yourself alone. All you could do was watch him from through the crowd. He danced through the people as if he did it everyday, easily weeding through them and greeting some in casual conversations. 

He was glowing.

“For you, m’lady.” Bokuto said to you once he returned. The cup was of red liquid that smelled like fruit. “It is pretty good, though I am unsure of what exactly it is.”

“Why thank you, my liege.” You joked. You took a sip, the sweetness of the drink honey on your tongue.

“Good, is it not?” He took a drink after you took a second sip.

You nodded.

“That is enough of that.” He snatched the cup from your hand. You were going to protest, the words on the edge of your lips. “I believe it is time for a dance.”

“That juice must be expensive, we cannot just leave it.”

“They have plenty.” Bokuto took his hand in yours and nearly dragged you to the middle of the ballroom floor. “Follow my lead.”

Your feet matched the timing with his as he forced you to dance. The flow of the music seeped into your ears. You could feel lightness grow in your chest as the two of you danced in the festivities, fast music and laughter mixed together into a yellow light.

You never knew that the inside of the dark castle could glow such a color.

Koutaro Bokuto and you were one in the same, circling around each other and dancing to a rhythm you could only feel rather than hear. You were out of breath, sweat gleaming on your forehead, and your legs were tired. But you continued to dance. His smile matched yours, golden eyes shining with the reflection of you.

Perhaps being in love with him was similar to a dance. Unbearably exhausting, but you wish to do it forever.

You would hide your feelings, you decided. You had stared at the ceiling of your bedroom for what seemed to be hours. Your mind bleeding in thoughts and scenarios of you telling your best friend that you were in love with him.

If you knew him at all, you knew that Bokuto was dramatic. He would tell you that everything was fine, that he did not love you in the way you loved him, and he would do everything to make the situation seem casual and normal, only to make things astronomically worse.

You did not want that.

Hiding your feelings, masking them under the platonic love you shared, would be easiest. Perhaps they would go away in time, perhaps they would be replaced by someone else. 

You did not even know what love entitled, anyway.

A crumbled napkin hit your face, causing you to look up with a glare. The lunch room of the high school was full of students, eating and chatting and enjoying the little free time between classes. 

“Our final year of school and you still decide to drink milk instead of juice.” Bokuto laughed, blatantly ignoring the scowl you were sending him.

“Would you prefer I grab a juice next time, just for you to steal it?”

“I am no thief.”

He was, though, you thought. Because he had your heart in the palm of his hands.

“Sure you are not.” You jokingly agreed, though you rolled your eyes.

Keiji Akaashi was a transfer your final year of high school. He was younger than you and Bokuto, but quickly found place in your friendship. 

The two of you were walking to the peer, doing nothing other than walking off the sweat and weakness of just training and practice fighting in the woods. Bokuto loved to spar with you, hand to hand; “It is great practice for your future husband!” He would joke.

As you walked along the sand, you caught sight of Akaashi spearing fish in the shallow water. With every draw of his spear, a fish would be on the end. He hadn’t missed a single shot.

He was almost beautiful, the way he stood in the water. His dark hair reflected off of the blue that glittered in the afternoon sun. You looked at Bokuto, your best friend, and thought of how it never matched to him.

“You are excellent!” Bokuto complimented, catching Akaashi off guard. The boy turned around, spear in hand, and shoved the fresh fish into a netted bag at his side.

“I hear you are amazing with knife throwing.” Akaashi said. He walked closer to you smoothly; it was as if the water was no barrier for his feet. “I am a mere fisherman.”

The boy seemed to not do well in social situations. His words were carefully thought, said in a manor of formality you only witnessed when village people spoke to the High Order or royalty.

“I have watched plenty of fishermen.” Bokuto crossed his arms over his chest. You had to look away before you would get distracted in the veins that marked his muscle. “No mere fisherman can catch every fish as you can.”

“Perhaps I can teach you, if you wish to teach me some of your knife throwing.” 

“I can do that. I taught this one here how to, and now she is the best knife thrower in Peredine. After me.” 

You scoffed at his superiority and pushed him in his side. Bokuto only chuckled and pushed you back. 

“How long have the two of you been a couple?” Akaashi asked. He was becoming more casual after noticing your informality, you noted. 

“She is only my best friend.” Bokuto flicked your forehead. “We have been best friends since the age of six.”

“He would not stop talking, so I had to give in to his friendship.” You told him. You were not wrong, which made your joke better. Bokuto laughed.

Bokuto turned to the netted bag that hung across Akaashi’s chest. “What are you planning to do with that?”

“I planned to sell them.” Akaashi shook the bag, sending drops of water into the tide below. “I am trying to save up to a moonful. Hopefully I can enter the knight program come summer.”

“Head towards the center of the town.” Bokuto advised. “They would love fish, they usually end with what the fisherman and peer do not have.”

“Thank you.”

“You can sit next to us at lunch tomorrow.” Bokuto said. “I invite you to the sanctuary.”

Akaashi spared you a glance. You shrugged. “He has invited you. You must attend, now.”

The entirety of your life, you had wished for more.

You would walk the streets of the village hoping for more. The village, especially near the center. It was dusted in browns and beiges, dirt and dust. Moss climbed the side of buildings and horses stood on the streets.

You would not hope to live in the castle, surrounded by white and light and food for days. You would not hope to be royalty, or to be a member of the High Order. 

You would hope of travel. You would wish for what was beyond your island; you would wish for being... away.

You understood why the princess left.

Then your mind would remind you of Koutaro Bokuto. He was the only reason for your stay. Your family was not an avid presence, or a presence at all for that matter, and you had one other friend that you only recently became acquainted with.

Bokuto was your only reason for staying.

Despite every fiber of your being wishing to leave, you knew that you could not. The worst part of it all, is that you knew that if you were to tell Bokuto that you wished to leave ━ if you were to tell him that you wanted nothing more than to get on a ship and travel far, far away from Peredine and the Kageyama castle and the knife throwing every day and the walks on the beach ━ he would tell you to go.

He would tell you to live your life. He would tell you to write him every day and visit when you can. He would have a smile so bright that it burned.

How could you possibly leave someone who shined that brightly?

Shining that brightly would only end in destruction, you feared.

You already felt the inside of you withering in hopes of him returning your love.

You remembered the last day that Bokuto smiled.

It was nearing winter, cool air replacing the warmth of autumn. Leaves scattered the ground in every place imaginable. The entirety of the village seemed to be blanketed in brown and orange, reds and yellows.

You walked hand in hand, fingers interlaced and swinging with each step.

“Let’s spar!” Bokuto turned quickly, trying to catch you off guard. He might have been quick, but your reflexes were slightly faster. 

With a swish of your wrist, you sliced his face with a knife. He had been the one to tell you to “always be prepared” and wear the knife attached to your thigh. 

The moment your knife connected with his left cheek, you knew what you had done. He did not collapse, but reached up to stop the bleeding.

“Oh!” You immediately dropped the knife to check his face.

He was bleeding profusely, the hand he clapped to the cut doing nothing to stop the flow. You must have had a deeper motion than you thought.

“I’m all right.” He muttered, but there was a gargle beneath his tone. He was choking on his own blood.

“No, no. We must go to a Medic.” You said. You wanted so badly to move his hand out of the way to assess the wound, but you knew that it would only be worse.

“Yes, let’s do that.”

You held his elbow and rushed back through the trees. Leaves crunched under your feet, matching in footsteps. Blood dripped onto the ground in a trail. 

You reached his home before long. You left him to run into the kitchen, finding his mother cooking. She dropped the ingrediants that she was working with the moment she viewed your expression.

“It’s Koutaro.” 

You followed his mother out of the kitchen and to her son, who was still actively bleeding. She brought his hand out of the way to finally━ finally━ see the wound.

You had cut him across his mouth. It started just under his nose, across the left side of his lip, to his chin, and curved back into the middle of his left cheek. This may sound rather vulgar, but the skin was very gross and you wondered how it was still attached.

“We must go to the Medic. Now.” She turned to you. “Grab a towel from the kitchen and catch up to us.”

You nodded and ran into the kitchen, finding the cloth and rushed to walk with them to the Medic.

Because of their family being one of the High Order, they lived on the hill below the castle. The Medics were only a little higher on the land, their neighborhood close together rather than spread out along the grass. 

We entered a house, not bothering to introduce ourselves with a knock. The family was eating a meal at the table, standing immediately at the blood. A mother, a girl, and a boy your age. 

“We need your help.” Bokuto’s mother said. She must have known the family, because the Medic flew to Bokuto’s side.

“Aiko, the sewing set.” The mother ordered. The girl took off down the house’s hall, disappearing into the dark. “Asahi, the herbs.”

You watched from afar as the Medics worked on your best friend. He would grimace in pain, tears painting his cheeks. They laid him on the dinner table, replacing the food and dishes with his body. They were effortless in their movements, as if it was every day that they fixed a man with a gaping hole in his cheek.

“He will be all right.” The boy said from your side. He watched alongside you, as his mother and older sister finished their healing. 

“I know you.” You did not look up at him. You could not take your eyes off of Bokuto. “You are in the same school year as I am. Asahi Azumane.”

“Yes.” 

“I did not know you were a healer.”

“I did not know that you loved Bokuto as you do.” He replied.

It was three weeks for the cut to turn into a heavy, thick scar. It was three weeks of Bokuto’s absence. 

He claimed that he was too ugly for you to see him. He did not want to see anyone, his mother told you after your hundredth visit to their home. 

After the third week, he greeted you outside of your door.

“I cannot miss anymore school.” He said as a greeting. “And I cannot miss anymore of you, can I?”

Before you could take another breath, you leaped into his arms. He hugged you back, effortlessly, chuckling into your neck. 

When you pulled back, you viewed the scar that curved on his face. The stitches had been removed. The scar was lifted, pink and bruised still; you could not help but want to cry.

You had done that.

“I am so incredibly sorry.” You said as you scanned the scar. You wanted to touch it. “Please accept my deepest apologies.”

He pushed your head playfully. “Do not apologize. I am the one who taught you to do that. I am a bit proud, if I were to be completely honest.”

You pouted, but he only sent you a smile.

A smile that only lifted to his right side. His smile would be forever crooked.

Because of you.

Bokuto would not stay because of you.

You knew that he wanted to leave someday. You knew that he wished to travel and fight and be himself. It was rather hard to be yourself when everything and everyone around you expects brilliance.

You could not tell him to stay when he told you that he wanted to be a knight. It was already something that you knew. He wanted to be a knight, to work on the King’s Court and throw knives for a living. 

To be a better one than his father.

With a smile, the edge of his right lip the only one to reach the full length, he told you, “Do you think I would be a good knight?”

How could you possibly tell someone who shined that brightly no?

To be a knight on the King’s Court, there was a series of things you must do. Spend a moonful to be admitted━ a rather large sum, train in the castle for months━ dueling, fighting, training to the brink, and finally win a duel against the General or the King━ your choice. If you were to fail, you would have to pay another moonful to reenter. 

You have heard that some people had been training and failing for years. 

However, Koutaro Bokuto was confident. With his family being well off in terms of coin, he paid the castle his moonful.

“I start this summer.” Bokuto stated. Excitement drenched every feature. “Akaashi paid his sum, too, and will be coming along!” 

“Akaashi is a year below us.”

“He will graduate early, his transfer from Hittaku allows him to leave when we do.” He explained. You hadn’t thought of that. “He will do amazing with his spear, perhaps that can be his specialty.”

As he rambled about becoming a knight with Akaashi, you let your mind wander. He would leave you come summer, and he would be taking Akaashi with him. 

You would be alone.

The start of winter arrived as quickly as a blink. 

Snow replaced the leaves beneath your feet, hiding the dirt and grass you walked every day.

You wondered if your love would be similar. Hidden and masked.

Koutaro Bokuto had a sweet tooth. 

He loved desserts. He would beg after every dinner to have something sweet. He would pay for small chocolates and creams from the village center. 

You were surprised that he was broad and large instead of overweight and rotting.

“Thank you!” He gleamed at the clerk, who handed him a bag of chocolate covered berries. The clerk thanked him back, adoring the generous tip that Bokuto had given. 

“I think your addiction to sweets will be the reason for your inevitable destruction.” You told him, holding his hand as you walked through the town square. 

“That must be why I am addicted to you.” He joked, handing you one of his chocolate covered berries. You accepted.

“I am not sweet.”

“Oh, you are correct.” He pretended to think, popping a berry into his mouth. “Perhaps that is why you are addicted to me, then.”

He had no idea, you thought.

The snow had been incredibly difficult that year. Clouds and snow casted the kingdom in white every day, baring the land and stealing away the darkness. What was once hidden in the thick trees was exposed.

One afternoon, the snow had slowed. Several feet lined the ground and hovered in the branches. Yet, you found Bokuto outside, throwing knives into trunks.

You were walking to the peer, prepared to trade some of your saved food for something better with the pirates and traders that never seemed to leave the beach. You dropped your bag and rushed to your best friend, kicking up the snow as you did.

“Hey, Kou.” You announced as you approached. He must have heard you, snow was not an easy feat to run in. 

But he hadn’t. He was focused primarily on the target in front of him. With no gloves on, you could see the redness stinging his hands. Tears stung his cheeks as well. 

“Kou, hey.” You stepped in front of him as he started to aim another knife. He threw it, the knife flying past your ear and into the bark behind you next to around five other knives. “Look at me.”

He wouldn’t. His tear stained face was red in coldness, matching his bare hands. He was not dressed to be outside.

“Look at me.” You reached for his face. He did not hesitate to let his face fall into your hands. “What are you doing out here?”

“I ━” Bokuto finally looked at you. You immediately felt a burning in your chest; his eyes were dull and more brown than gold. “I have to be better if I am to be a knight.”

“You are excellent.” You tried to warm his ears with your gloved hands, but also tried to examine him at the same time. “And you cannot get better if you overwork yourself. Or if you manage to get sick.” You wiped some of the dried tears away. “What happened?”

He did not utter another word. Instead, only more tears left his eyes and he collapsed into you. You stumbled against his weight, but held him with every ounce of your being. 

His cheek was cold against yours.

“I’m sorry.” Bokuto muttered against your ear. 

You did not know what he was apologizing for. “Everything is all right.”

Seasons changed quickly.

The snow melted, cascading the land in dead grass and leaves attempting to grow again. Attempting to live again.

You wished to stop time. There must be Magick Folk somewhere with that ability, to stop and freeze time. You knew that there was not.

The grass started to turn green, bright and vibrant.

Summer was arriving sooner than you wanted. 

You could feel a rush of emotions at the thought of your best friends leaving. You were never one to be sad, or get emotional at all; but the thought of being alone left your chest aching in a way you never experienced. 

You held back tears. For the first time in your life, you thought of crying about Bokuto.

Keiji Akaashi was a great person to be friends with. He never pushed his boundaries, he knew when to speak and when it was best to sit in silence. He always seemed to know exactly what to say and when. 

He would also tell you the honest truth, which was refreshing against Bokuto’s natural optimism. 

“You love him. I am correct, right?” Akaashi asked you.

You were sitting in Bokuto’s garden, waiting for him to arrive. He was the one who wanted to go for a walk, after all. 

You sat up, looking to him. “You cannot tell him.”

“I have known since I met you.” He replied. “I would not tell him now.”

“Then yes,” You blinked. “You are correct.”

A string of silence filled the air. It was not uncomfortable; Akaashi was trying to find the words to say. 

“You should tell him.” He finally said. “He would want to hear it, before going into the knight program.”

You sighed. You looked at him, sitting beside you in the colorful flowers. “Being rejected is not on my itinerary.” 

“What will you do when he leaves? When we leave?”

“I do not know.”

You would be lonely. 

That was all you knew. 

You would be lonely without the two of them. There had never been a day since the age of six that Bokuto was not a part of. Every single day consisted of him. 

You would go to school together, walk together, throw knives at trees together, sit on the beach together. You would go to sleep only to wake up to him. 

It was no wonder you found yourself in love with him. 

Bokuto hugged you tightly on your last day of school.

You only had limited time left.

The color blue reminded you of him.

He sat beside you on the sand. The beach was beautiful this time of year, just before summer. The water made the air cooler, yet you felt warm.

“I will miss you.”

He was leaving the next afternoon. He would head into the castle, starting his training and taking a step into his new life━ his dream. 

“I will miss you too.” You told him, staring at the water.

As the sun sat close to the horizon, covering the ocean in sparkling light, you thought of him. He was the color blue, calm and kind and light and happy. 

You opened your mouth, ready to tell him that you were in love with him. Ready to tell him that you wanted him to stay, to sit with you like this, forever. You only closed it.  

If you truly did love him, you would allow him to follow his dream.

The knights in training cannot be visited or visit. Only when they become knights will they have opportunities to visit, few and far between. They have the busiest jobs. 

Once he left, you did not know when you would see him again.

You stared up at him, watching him as he watched the waves crash far away. His golden eyes twinkled, white hair shifting in the breeze.

He truly was more beautiful than the ocean would ever be.

You were talking with his older sister, listening to her stories. You were happy for her, enjoying the story of her meeting her love in a woman in her travels to Hittaku. 

“I need to speak to my best friend.” Bokuto interrupted. You looked up.

His sister waved you away, smiling still. Bokuto had given everyone their goodbyes already. You were the last one.

Akaashi told you goodbye earlier in the day, telling you a brief “Do what you think is right for you, not for him.” before departing.

He would be waiting in the dorm for Bokuto.

The moment you were alone, Bokuto pulled you into a hug. You fell into his chest, cheek pressed against his heartbeat. Strong arms were arm around you.

His head rested on top of yours. “I will miss you the most.”

“I will miss you more than I would like to admit.”

“I will write you with every chance I receive.”

You nodded. You would not cry, you told yourself even as the tears trailed down your face and onto his shirt. 

“You are crying.”

You heard the crack in his voice. “So are you.”

You pulled back, not wanting to break the embrace. His arms stayed on yours, and you kept your arms on his forearms. 

You took him in for what seemed like the last time. His white hair was pushed from his forehead, golden eyes marked with sadness. The scar looked much better, pink against his tan skin. 

His eyes met yours, and they were full of emotions you could not describe. He looked at you as if you were a dimming light in the darkness and he needed you to see.

He leaned closer, and you could feel the breath on your face. He smelled of wood and sea salt.

You could only inhale when Bokuto pressed a kiss to your lips. 

The kiss was brief. It was a peck, barely a second before he pulled back to rest his head on yours again. You hadn’t even noticed his chapped lips, or that he tasted like sweets.

It was silent for a moment.

“Until we see each other again?” You offered.

He nodded, holding you against him. “Until we see each other again.”

You decided to travel.

Listening to Bokuto’s sister’s stories, along with some of the dreams you had already wished for, you decided that travelling would be the best option.

You were on the next boat out of Peredine, only a small suitcase at your side and the sun on your face.

You never did tell him that you loved him. 

You did not think you ever would. As he hopped off of his white horse, full armor proving that he could only gain muscle, you could not help but feel the same ache in your chest.

He lifted his helmet off, his white hair releasing in a mess over his forehead. He rushed to you, pulling you into a hard hug. You laughed, the familiar feeling of drowning drenching your body.

You both were livelier, your travels and his knighthood. 

You smiled at him, listening to him talk about the castle and battles he had been in since you last spoke over a year ago.

You were drowning, but you managed to hover close to the surface. Every breath you took of his familiar and wonderful scent, you could feel the water fill your lungs.

Falling in love with Koutaro Bokuto was easy, but the consequences were excruciating.

glossary

Dark Castle: the castle of Kageyama, created by a Shadow King in the early days of the land.

Fae: a very beautiful being, used to be known as Faeries, before they went extinct.

High Order: those in favor with the Dark Castle. They get special privileges and land below the castle on the Dark Hill. Includes Knights and the General, Cooks, Messengers, Magick Folk, and Medics.

Hittaku: a kingdom from several hours across the sea. Lead by King Tooru Oikawa, who has a missing leg from a war several years ago, and first mate Magick Hajime Iwaizumi, who created Tooru’s leg. Their flag and crest colors are red and white.

Karasuno: a peninsula not too far away from Hittaku. Lead by King Daichi Sawamura and right hand and Magick Koshi Sugawara. Their crest and colors are black and gold.

King’s Court: the knights that serve Peredine. Lead by General Shimizu. The highest serving to the High Order.

Magick: those with abilities beyond human. Each kingdom has a Leader of Magick, or someone very in tune with their powers at the right hand of the King.

some reoccurring Magick to take note of Shoyo Hinata, leader of Magick in Peredine: can control and manipulate fire/flames Koshi Sugawara, leader of Magick in Karasuno: can control and manipulate air/wind; is always floating and feet never touch the ground Hajime Iwaizumi: leader of Magick in Hittaku: can control earth, but uses it mainly for healing The Miya Twins, King and Leader of the Seven Seas: can control and manipulate water

Moonful: a very large sum of money

Peredine: a kingdom that is on a island shaped in a circle. Woods are on the edges of the circle, boxing everything inside. Soon to be lead by King Tobio Kageyama, after his sister denied the crown, and first mate and Magick Shoyo Hinata.

Seven Seas: the entirety of the ocean. It is known to be full of mermaids, sirens, and sea witches. Lead by the Magick King Atsumu Miya and first mate and twin with the same Magick, Osamu Miya. Their flag and crest are green, blue, and silver.

You did not change before following the guard out of the room. You just followed quickly behind the burly man in your cloak and dirty clothes. If the prince wanted to request your presence, you would come as is. 

The sun had completely gone down in your time meeting your roommates, though the darkness did not do much in the already dark corridors. As you followed, it became instantly brighter as you entered the main wing of the castle.

The castle itself was dark. It was created by the Dark King long before your time, and he was as his name threatens. He took over this land and forced others to build him a castle of the darkest brick. From then, his lineage contained the same demeanor. Dark, mysterious, all together authoritative and intimidating. 

You were annoyed at the thought.

The doors to the throne room were massive, arching three sizes above your head. The ceiling became taller, the room lighter against the dark brick and wood, and the Kageyama crest stared directly at you as the guard opened the door.

Tobio Kageyama was sitting in his throne when you entered. His throne sat just slightly shorter on the right hand of the king’s, made of silver instead of Black Gold (the richest form; the throne must be very uncomfortable to sit in). Soon that would be his seat.

The King and Queen were no where in sight. This was a personal request.

He sat straight up, hands resting on the arms in attention. You would expect a crowned prince to be more relaxed. Perhaps a leg over the arm or something interesting.

“Prince Tobio.” You greeted. It was formal to greet the royalty first; however, calling him Tobio was the opposite.

“Already you mock me.” He tilted his head. The crown stayed perfectly in place. “Guard, you may leave. She is fine, there is no need for a chaperone.”

The guard simply nodded and left the room, closing the large door behind him.

“I must inform you that Shoyo was not given my permission when granting you this.” He told you instantly. His blue eyes were the same color as the crest on the clasp that held his cloak around his shoulders.

“Are you telling me to leave?”

“No.”

“Then why tell me that?”

“Because,” He returned to sit straight up. “After he did, I heard that you were excellent with a sword. I happen to be trained in the sword as well. I hope to find our inevitable duel interesting.” A pause. “However, this is not why I asked you in here today.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure of meeting with you privately?” You asked, sarcasm dripping off of your tongue like honey.

You watched as his shoulders relaxed with a roll of his eyes. “You are going to be a difficult one, aren’t you? I asked you in here to tell you some of the rules before you go into training tomorrow. Every one else here has had their introductions; they’ve all been training for quite a bit now.” Another pause. “I am being generous.”

“Informing me of the basic rules and regulations for my training... ah yes, thank you for doing the bare minimum.” You scoffed. “Tell me, Tobio, how long have you been this generous?”

In one motion, he was standing. His movements were so fluid and complete that you hadn’t even registered that he was walking; it was as if he floated to you. 

Standing in front of you, you could see his anger at your disrespect. 

“With every word that you have directed towards me, you have done nothing but disrespect me, my position, and my virtue. Continue to do so, and you will be removed.” Tobio said, voice low and against your ear. “If you wish to stay, I suggest minding how you speak to me.”

He leaned back. You caught your breath that you hadn’t realized that you were holding. 

Calling to the guard, “Guard! We are done here!”

“Wait, you never gave me the rules.” You blinked at his back.

“My apologies.” Tobio walked back to his throne. Sitting, he continued, “My guess is that you will figure it out. It being the bare minimum, after all.”

"We have a newcomer today, so we will be doing some introductions.” The trainer spoke. His voice was monotone and casted silence among anyone listening. He stood taller than everyone else in the room, including the other trainers, even though you were sure he was your age. “My name is Kei Tsukishima.”

The Knight Training room was a large room in the dungeons below the dorms. It was stained in blood and cleaned spills that left dark patches in the black brick. In the center of the room, there was a large circle painted in light grey surrounded by two smaller circles. The walls were lines in varying weaponry and training courses, along with fake bags shaped like people and targets.

“Welcome to Knight Training.” Another trainer added. He was a tad bit older, with dark hair and had a quiver strapped to his back. His voice seemed deeper, too. “I am Tetsurou Kuroo, I specialize in archery and survival techniques.”

“I’m Koutaro Bokuto!” The buff one added. He stood with his arms crossed and a smile on his face. He had a scar that crossed from his nose, through the left side of his lip, and curved back to his left cheek; it made his smile lopsided. “I specialize in knife throwing and hand to hand combat. Yamamoto, remind me to finish your D-4 later.”

Akari nodded to him from beside you, not caring for his lack of formalities.

“And I am Keiji Akaashi.” The last spoke. He was the shortest, yet stood tall. He also seemed incredibly bored by the introductions, as were you. “I specialize in the spear and hunting, including stealth and gathering.”

“I specialize in the sword.” Kei Tsukishima added. He turned to you, eyeglasses hiding his eyes. “So, newbie, you will be with me.”

As it turns out, the knights were rather informal people. They seemed to be formal with royalty and in public, but they talked casually the entire time you were in the training area.

You were sure Koutaro Bokuto swearing would be the most entertainment you have ever had.

“I was told that you are excellent with a sword.” Tsukishima said once it was just you two. You had followed him directly to the area furthest to the left, where you found an array of swords and targets. 

“This is the second time in two days that has been told to me. Who is spreading this rumor?”

He shrugged. “Just people. I want you to show me what you can do.”

“Show you what I can do?”

“Yes.” Tsukishima nodded his head to the box of swords. “Pick a sword and show me on the dummies what you would do if they were enemies.”

He gave you no other instructions. You were used to your own sword, the one that sat on your hip. So you reached for it. He didn’t seem to mind.

Unsheathing your sword, you stood in the circle of fake people. They were rather realistic looking, despite no true facial features.

Quickly and effortlessly, you brought your sword down on the dummies. In only a swift movement, you had taken off one head and another’s arm. You finished with a stab to the last’s throat.

“I see Shoyo was telling the truth.” Was all Tsukishima said. “Although, next time you must inform us of carrying your own weapon. Follow me.”

The rest of training consisted of you traveling between the trainers. But they maintained your closeness to Tsukishima.

Yua Ito and Akari Yamamoto met you back in the quarters. You were all complete in sweat, wear, and tire. You were sure your face had dirt and grime on it, as well as your messy hair.

“You didn’t tell us that you were that good with a sword!” Yua exclaimed as she changed, not caring for the presence of others. “You don’t even need training!”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Akari sighed. “You are good, I admit. But you still need training.”

“That’s why I am here, is it not?” You offered.

Yua giggled at your sarcasm, and Akari raised a brow. Most of the trainers and others at training were informal and spoke in sarcastic tones. They couldn’t have been that surprised.

“I like you.” Akari said, collecting a pile of clothes to go bathe.

Dinner for the knights was quite eventful.

Beside the training center, there was another large room in similar dark brick and grey accents. This room had small windows near the ceiling, large tables lining the middle, and buffet style tables on the outer edges nearest the walls. It was the most food you had ever witnessed.

Meats, potatoes both fried and mashed, fruits and vegetables, fish and other harbor foods, breads that were warmed, frozen desserts and chocolate... you had no idea where to start.

“First meal here?” Tsukishima appeared behind you. Without his knight gear on, he was just as tall and brooding.

“It is that obvious?” You looked over your shoulder instead of turning around. He walked closer. “I just don’t know where to start.”

“I always start at the right side, near the breads. It leaves the necessities first and the desserts and sweets last.”

“Are you always this kind to new knights?”

“You are greatly mistaken.” Tsukishima shrugged. “I am not kind, nor are you a knight. Not yet, at least.”

The following days consisted of non stop practicing. The schedule was easy to follow: train at sunrise, have lunch, continue, and then dinner. Lights out when the sun sets. Repeat.

However, several days in, you started to notice a new presence.

Tobio Kageyama would watch from the outer stands that lined the walls. He would sit, guard at his side, and analyze the training. Without a single word.

One day, you felt his gaze on your back as you attempted knife throwing. It wasn’t too difficult for you, but it was far different than your usual heavy and long sword.

One of your knives hit the target directly where you had aimed, it’s head, and Bokuto cheered happily. He exclaimed, “you are going to be excellent at your first duel!”

You shrugged off his praise. And the prince’s stare.

“For today, we will only be practicing for the first duel of the season.” Tsukishima stood in the center of the circle, arms crossed and voice echoing. “We will go by how long you have been in training.” His eyes turned to you. “Which means you, newcomer, are last and will be fighting against whoever wins.”

“The rules are simple.” Kuroo stepped up. His voice seemed deeper. “You will fight with your weapon of choice. You can win by three ways. One, you manage to get your opponent out of the circle. Two, you have them on the ground for three seconds or more. Or three, they simply cannot continue.”

Akaashi spoke, “There will be no killing, nor major injury. We will step in and announce the winner before then. Other than that, expect to bleed and fight with all you have. This is training to be a knight on the king’s court, not practice for games.”

“That being said,” Tsukishima looked at some parchment in his hand. “The first duo will be Akari Yamamoto and Ren Sato.”

You stood beside Yua as they battled in the circle. Akari was amazing at knife throwing, you’ve witnessed it throughout the past several days. Ren was an older man, older than anyone in the room; but he must’ve been here a long time and have had the money to return through the years. 

“I had no idea Akari has been here that long.” You muttered to Yua. “To be the first duel, I mean.”

“She’s been here for years.” Yua didn’t take her eyes off of the pair fighting. “Don’t say anything, but I am not sure she wants to be a knight. Her father is one, so he got her into the training program. But each year, she never makes it to the final duel.”

You turned to Akari, who threw the knives directly where she knew to. She was strong, tall, and had all of the qualities of making a perfect knight. You wondered why she was delaying her career.

The winner of the series of duels was a man named Kaito Hashimoto. He was around double your size, both in height and build. His weapon was a spear, which was perfect for you because you planned on being very close to him. A distance weapon like a spear had no victory over a close ranged weapon like your sword.

You informed the trainers of your personal sword, and they agreed to allow you to use it during the duel. “Although, in the final duel against the king, you must only use the weapons provided.” Kuroo told you. 

The duel was a blur in your vision. Like most days when you spent a majority of your time sparring Kiyoko, you placed the entire world out of view and only focused on the enemy in front of you.

Kaito Hashimoto had laughed when you entered the circle. As if he had already won.

You remembered small pieces of what happened. You remember witnessing Tobio Kageyama’s entrance into the training area, finding his place in the stands. You remember opting for offense immediately, knowing that he would be surprised at your lack of defense. You remember using all of your strength and weight behind every attack. 

You laughed when you had him knocked down for five seconds. Because you had won.

"Congratulations.” Tsukishima announced. “For this duel, our top ten will continue. Although you will get a small advantage, being our overall winner.” 

“We can discuss that advantage later.” Bokuto said. “For now, I do believe that our crowned prince has something he would like to say.”

Everyone stood in a hushed silence, attention fully on the man in black and blue.

“I do have an announcement.” Tobio Kageyama said from the center of the training ground. All of you surrounded him, standing on the outer edge of the circle, clinging to his words.

You crossed your arms over your chest. You were still sweaty, heavy breaths rolling out of your mouth in huffs.

“In two days time, I will be crowned King.” He said. The silence was deafening. “And with that, many kings and rulers from other kingdoms will be arriving to bare witness to the event. After, we have a week of balls and festivals. 

“I wanted to give my thanks to all of you for your effort and training. You will have the entire week off. I invite you to all of the events that will take place at the castle. This includes the crowning.”

You felt your jaw drop. You looked over to Yua and Akari, who both shared the same expression. You would be at balls, at fairs and festivals, with the royalty of the nations.

You’ve heard stories from Kiyoko of balls, of extravagant parties and drunken nights. You’ve heard stories of the other princes and kings that rule the kingdoms that are on the other side of the outlying woods. You’ve only ever heard stories.

And none of them excited you.

They were always something to brag about. They were always something that made other’s seem better, seem richer. If you heard someone in the town streets talking of going to such events, you would turn away and steal something from their bag as punishment for making you feel inferior.

Being able to attend yourself sounded like the perfect time to practice.

You felt someone’s eyes, and you looked up to find Tobio Kageyama staring directly at you.

masterlist