Beardlord Brizanthos

Get Out was also produced by Blumhouse, which is a production company that will give a very small budget worth of money and a wide release to basically anyone who asks. It’s kinda great because it means anyone from first time directors to people who want to use themes big studios would scoff at (both of which apply to Peele) can get stuff made.

Thing that makes it comedy: Absurdity.

The juxtaposition of the bad news with ‘80s competitive aerobics

The overly long cue cards that were nonetheless written in apparently under a minute, for at most a one cue-card message, just to apparently unnecessarily draw out things out

The apologetic look on the card holder’s face, while the director mimes a little dance that in no way matches the choreography

The idea that somehow the main character is supposed to answer these questions while he’s dancing? Live on air?

Imagine sitting at home and what these guys would’ve looked like – the one dude looking off camera and mouthing “motive??”, etc. Without knowing the story, that’s a pretty funny visual

The idea that anyone would go to these lengths to win, again, ‘80s competitive aerobics

However, note the horror elements:

The tension of more and more revealed information, changing from accident to not-an-accident to suspicion to revenge 

The music starts as funny (and sets the scene), but it’s on an unending loop, again raising the tension as we wait for it to resolve – and it doesn’t

Actually, the music cues in general, along with the switch back and forth between the grainy ‘80s video recording and the more slick and dark “real time” camerawork, are both very horror-tastic

“Keep dancing”

The dancers’ smiles are really interesting – they start very fake and open-mouthed, with a lot of teeth, and then the main character’s transitions to a grimace, which maintains the open mouth with lots of teeth, but has a very different meaning. Then, as the scene progresses, the other character’s smile – while looking essentially the same as it started at the top of the scene – appears suddenly sinister

The idea that someone you’ve worked with for potentially months – talked to, choreographed with, probably stayed at the same hotels, bonded over the bagels on the craft table – has been planning to kill your entire family

Alternately: What if it really was an accident? So instead we’re watching the total breakdown of a man into paranoia and undeserved murderous rage

You may note the lack of IV. And the lack of an MRI bench.  And the lack of a fucking modern woman in goddamn jeans with heeled boots

Why?

[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]

Universal:

Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.

Discussion thread here.

Dwarf:

Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.

Discussion thread here.

Elf:

Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Halfling:

From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.

Discussion thread here.

Half-Orc:

Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread “black strap”, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Orc:

Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Gnome:

Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Lizardfolk:

Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Drow:

From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).

We always talk about “signs of a terrible Dom” so let’s talk about some signs of an actually good Dom

They ask you about your day: They show compassion and actually want to listen about how your day went

They ALWAYS want to keep fields of communication open: Whether you’re in the middle of a kinky-as-fuck scene or you two are in a heated argument, the means of communication is ALWAYS open. Once you give your safe word, IT IS DONE

Aftercare is a top priority. No matter what this is for you in particular, they put a lot of emphasis on aftercare (cuddling, movie watching, bath time, etc.)

They aren’t afraid to scold you when you actually mess up. Sometimes we fuck up, both with our dynamics or we screwed up something at work or school. Doms will scold you, put also help cheer you up and might even offer ways to make it positive

Sex might be apart of the dynamic, but it’s not the focus. I get the fact some people get involved with other BDSM partners for the sole reason of sex, but outside of those VERY SPECIFIC DYNAMICS, sex is NOT the sole focus. It might be a fun “add on”, but it’s NOT the primary objective (penetrative sex or other forms of sex acts).

They are concerned for your safety, but don’t overdo it. They want you safe, but don’t take it to the paranoid level where they need to track every little thing you do.

They respect your privacy. EVERYONE has secrets (”skeletons in your closest”), even among romantic partners who have been partners for a long time, people have stuff they just don’t feel comfortable confessing every little thing in their life. A respectful Dom understands this and doesn’t need to go spying on you or attempt to invade your privacy (track internet history, track phone usage, track where you’ve been, etc.)

They trust you. A Dom who doesn’t trust you will purposely try to fuck up the relationship/dynamic, they will show severe jealousy, and other negative aspects. A Dom that trusts you will respect YOU as a person as well as you to keep your word on different things.

When disagreements happen, they use constructive language. There is not a healthy relationship on this earth that is 100% argument/disagreement free. However, whenever these do happen, it is NOT a “me against you” style argument (”I WON THE ARGUMENT”, none of that). It is done in a way with minimal accusatory/hurtful statements

Every submissive knows that obedience is part of the package. He says, and you do. It doesn’t matter if you’re a brat who drags your feet, or if you’ve been waiting eagerly on your knees for his order, the end result in a successful D/s relationship is obedience.

It’s easy to become complacent as a submissive, but we must remember compliance alone is not enough. Service must mean more than obedience. It’s my belief that we, as submissives, are obligated to seek out ways to please our Dominants. We must go above and beyond the required, and display our desire to serve to truly be successful.

A practiced and caring Dominant spends a great deal of time thinking about the needs of his submissive. He evaluates and contemplates, he plans and executes. He devotes his time, energy, and attention to the care of his submissive, and it seems a natural reciprocation that as submissives we learn to do the same.

We must actively seek out chances to show our affection and desire to please. It may be as simple as sending a text to say “I’m thinking of you today,” or an extra session of hole training above what is required. It may be ironing the suit you know he needs for work tomorrow, or one of a million other things, but the common thread is finding ways to let him know you care, without being asked.

My Dominant rarely uses the “Domly Dom” voice that D/s Tumblrville loves to talk about. It’s not that He doesn’t like to use it - it’s simply that He doesn’t feel He needs to. The only times I have seen His ‘Dom’ voice come to life outside of the bedroom is when He is deathly serious or concerned about me (an example: I’m a pretty clumsy person, so when I dropped His favorite hot sauce glass bottle all over the kitchen floor, He made sure to use that Dom voice to get me to safety so I did not get glass over my feet).

This created a problem for me specifically. Because He didn’t use His Dom voice when He was requesting me to do something, subconsciously I was not prioritizing what He had requested.

One morning, He had asked me to do the laundry that day. I complied (though I undoubtedly hate doing laundry), and that was all that was said until around 7 at night.

Once 7 came around, He was fairly upset that I hadn’t done what I had been told. My excuse? 

“I was waiting for you to tell me when to do it. I wasn’t sure if you wanted it done in he morning or the night.” (for reference, we very often did our laundry at night since we live in a place where the highs reach above 100 degrees regularly).

Clearly that excuse didn’t fly. He had wanted me to be able to do laundry on my own, and He hadn’t given me an exact time because He knew I had homework to do that day as well, so He gave me the day to plan it out on my own.

It was a miscommunication, but something that should have never happened, nonetheless.

I should have been able to do the laundry on my own, and I should have taken His request more seriously, and I definitely should have made sure to plan out my day so that I could fit in His request. If He gives me an order, I don’t deliberately go out of my way to make sure I don’t do it. Of course not, but I also don’t go out of my way to make sure I do accomplish it, either. That was the real issue - I didn’t go out of my way to make sure I got this thing done that He had stated He wanted done that day. That fact still hits hard.

It’s not that I just didn’t have time, or that I just didn’t want to so thus I procrastinated. It was the way He had requested the task, and it was the way the day was going that through me off enough to had not completed the task.

That entire day, we were in the bed together. Eating, talking, watching our favorite shows, relaxing. I got some homework done and we had chilled the rest of the day. The laundry laying on the floor just slipped my mind - and He was there with me, so surely if He wanted me to do the laundry, He would just say so as I lay there with Him, right?

No. I was so wrong. He may have been there with me, but the point of the task was to make sure I could do these tasks on my own and plan my day around what He wishes to be done, without having to be told a second, third, or even fourth time on what needs to be done.

The problem I have is that I so often need to be reminded on what I need to get done - it’s like I almost expect a reminder. 

Simply put: I expected him to tell me for a second time that day that the laundry needed to be done at x time, while He had expected me to do the laundry within the time frame of that day, on my own accord. 

He hadn’t used that Domly Dom voice that would signal in my brain that this was serious and something to prioritize. By not prioritizing what He had requested, I undermined the dynamic and His authority. Not intentionally, but it still happened. Bottom line is, He should never have to use a certain tone with me to get His requests listened to.

It’s not even that this was just a one-time slip up - this has been happening more often than I even would like to admit. When He tells me to do the dishes, I comply and when night comes, they aren’t done. Why? Because I didn’t prioritize His request. I simply put it in the back of my mind and that was it. When I realize that the dishes aren’t done, I brush it off and rationalize it with a “I had other things to prioritize that were more important”.

That’s such a wrong way of thinking when trying to incorporate a D/s dynamic in your everyday life. I need to be able to prioritize what He wants done first, not second or third. It’s that “D/s Hierarchy” that @instructor144 always talks about: Subs needs, Dom’s needs, Dom’s wants, and Subs wants. And I’ve heard that so many times, and yet applying it to real-life situations seems to be a lot less definitive than when it’s on paper.

And once again, I didn’t do this purposefully. It was simply just the way I had always done things. Dishes don’t get as much priority as something like cleaning up the bed or floor. So out of habit, the dishes didn’t get prioritized first, even though my Dom specifically asked for the dishes to be done (which should have moved the dishes to being the first task to be done on my list). Since transitioning, I have found a lot of bad habits that I need to work on fixing. And this is just one of those bad habits. 

I even remember a piece written by @amysubmits that talked about this exact situation - and yet here I still am, learning the same lesson that so many have talked about before (that I even have read!). Sometimes I suppose that lessons are sometimes best learned by on-hands experience.

There are many many good posts out there about safewords. What they are, types of safewords, how to use them, when to use them. 

This is not one of those posts. 

Because for all of the beauty of safewords, the concept has a flaw. It’s not because safewords don’t work, or they aren’t useful. They absolutely 100% are. I would never recommend playing without one, especially for people with not much experience in BDSM activities. 

It’s that some people use a lack of a safeword as an excuse when they harm someone. And we aren’t talking about that enough.

A safeword when properly used in typical BDSM play is a safety valve. It’s an emergency stop feature that communicates unambiguously the intent to end a scene. Or at least, that something really big needs to change or things are going to go south. And fast. But unless you have explicitly negotiated ahead of time that a safeword is going to be your only form of communication it should never, ever, be the only method to stop a scene. 

It’s like a fire alarm. 

If you’re in a burning building and you see flames and you smell smoke you don’t go “Oh, well, the fire alarm didn’t go off, guess there must not be a fire!” Right? Because that would be pretty stupid, and you’d probably end up dead. Instead, you should be checking for other signs of a fire and preferably getting the hell out of that situation. A fire alarm is simply a tool to make it easier to tell something is wrong and you need to evacuate. Same thing with a safeword. 

If a scene is going wrong and a bottom is flinching, avoiding eye contact, or stops reacting to stimulus at all, you should never go “Oh, well, they never used their safeword, so I guess this must be okay.” WRONG. Unless you are doing some prenegotiated no-limits, CNC type shit, ANY significant and unusual or distressing change should warrant a check-in. You don’t need to stop the scene. But you should be looking for other signs of a fire, and if you need to get out of this situation. And maybe everything is okay. But the point is you should still check in. Because at best, you’re risking loss of valuable feedback as a Dom. At worst, you’ve crossed someone’s boundaries (communicated prior or not) and are now actively harming them. 

A safeword should not be an excuse for lazy, passive Dominance. Scenes should be negotiated under the hope of creating a mutually beneficial experience. Not merely just letting the Dominant do whatever the heck they want up until the submissive or bottom finally eeks out their safeword as a last resort to stop the agony. Dominants should always be attentive, mindful and focused during scenes. After all, they are literally putting that bottom at risk in both life and limb. Shouldn’t we expect more?

I think there are many factors in the community that contribute to this mindset that makes it extremely difficult to actually rely on safewords as the sole form of communication. Let’s discuss those:

1. We Put Safewords on a Pedestal: We treat safewords like the “in case of emergencies only” hatchet behind a thick pane of glass. As a culture in general, we don’t encourage liberal use of safewords. Needing to resort to a safeword is seen as shameful, and damning for both bottom and top in that scene. And so, many bottoms believe they are only allowed to use safewords when things are really really bad. Low blood sugar? Tingly toes? Allergies? Tolerance getting low? Suck it up. And by the time things get to that really really bad place, many are no longer in a mental state to even communicate at all.

2. Competitiveness: We love having submissives compete with each other. Who can take the most canes, who can do the hardest suspension, and who can stand to kneel on the rice for the longest amount of time. A submissive who is competitive and has a desire to please will often put beating “the competition” above their own physical safety so they can feel like a good sub. To do anything less is failure. 

3. Fear of Disappointment and Abandonment: This is certainly not true of all subs, but many have a fear of being a disappointment or being a abandoned. This leads to a submissive not using  a safeword, because having an abrupt end to the scene can leave the sub feeling like they have let their partner down. Or worse, it activates the fear that the Dominant will abandon them. This is particularly true in power exchange relationships with a high level of authority transfer but a low level of existing trust. To use a safeword is to put the existing relationship itself on the line, and risks changing the relationship to the core. Rational? Maybe not. But we certainly don’t do enough to absolve this fear or address why it exists. And fear is often powerful enough to keep people silent.

4. Altered States of Consciousness: New submissives are particularly vulnerable to this. Whether it be getting lost in a primal, little or animal headspace, sinking into subspace, or being so overcome by fear your body freezes, BDSM can bring out many unique and complicated states of mind. If a submissive is not operating a fully functional brain, let alone potentially not having access to verbal function at all, how are they going to communicate a safeword? Even when they really need to? It’s entirely possible someone in a deep in an altered state of consciousness may forget who or where they are, let alone remember they have a specific fancy word to use to get out!

5. We Don’t Practice Safewords: Let’s say you have been doing BDSM for 10 years. In all that time, you have had the fortune to never need a safeword before. Then, one night with a new partner, something goes wrong. How likely are you going to be able to evaluate correctly that you need it, or when, or even know how to say it? It’s like a fire drill. You can talk all you want about where the evacuation spot is, and what route to use, but unless you have regularly practiced using the route before, you are liable to forget it in a panic situation. Even submissives with a decade of experience can blank out and forget their safeword in a crisis.

6. Daddy Knows Best: This one is the most insidious of the bunch. For new submissives especially, they can be cowed into believing that the Dominant should have the final say and to trust them completely. Negotiated or not. This leads to unscrupulous (or just inexperienced) Dominants functionally using their relationship authority to dictate a submissive’s limits for them. It removes the submissive’s ability to fairly judge for themselves if and when they need to safeword. Or if they are allowed to. Imagine a situation where a submissive is new, and has a hard limit around canes. Then Daddy brings out the cane. By quieting the protests with a “Daddy Knows Best” and or a “Why Don’t You Trust Me?”, a Dominant can cut off a submissive from feeling safe from using their safewords. A Dominant should always be aware of the power and influence they have over a submissive’s psyche. It is very hard to say no to someone who you respect, who is older or more experienced, or who pays your bills – and a safeword is often subconsciously viewed as a “no” to that activity. Add power exchange to that on top, and you’ve got quite a mountain to climb. 

…. and I am sure many many other factors too. There are so many to list. 

Point being, a safeword is a tool. But a complicated one – and only as good as the people using it. Human emotions, fears, and desires all intertwine to make “simple” communication very complicated. And until we can unpack some of the baggage we have lying around about using them, safewords will never be the only way to effectively communicate in a scene. And unless you have negotiated otherwise, plain English communication and body language should always be monitored for other signs things are going wrong. 

To try and hide behind “but they didn’t safeword!” as a defense when someone is harmed by a scene is weak, and shows a lack of understanding of how hard communication can be when endorphins are flying. Responsible partners look at actions and reactions, not just words. 

Stay Safe, 

Evie

I don’t remember the day or even the month, but I remember the feeling vividly. I was wandering aimlessly, searching everything and nothing, then all of a sudden there it was. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The things they were saying were things I’d thought, things I wanted, things I was too embarrassed to admit to anyone. And here they were - men and women - talking about those feelings I had, one darker than the next, and giving it - all of it - a name.

D/s.

Dominance and submission.

I started reading and couldn’t stop. I flitted from room to room, watching the conversations roll by, the experiences people shared with me and other anonymous faces behind a screen. They were open and honest and raw. I don’t know how much time passed before I took an effective breath, but with it came the realization that I was not alone. I was not a freak. What I wanted - no, what I needed - was something other people wanted and needed, as well.

That was 20 years ago. Now I look back and cringe quite often, but I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. I have a lot of ‘If I knew then what I know now…’ moments, but I wouldn’t go back and do it again, because you have to go through it to learn it. You just do. Because your track is different than the next person’s, and to learn what you need to learn takes living it yourself.

So what does twenty years teach you? Here are some things I’ve learned:

Not everyone likes the spotlight; it’s ok to live D/s very privately

It’s ok to make things like rope bondage and tickling hard limits; it’s ok to make anything a hard limit

Dominants can use a safeword or otherwise stop an activity

You can be the one to walk away; you don’t have to be ‘released’ from shit

Liars and cheaters will always lie and cheat

Moving quickly rarely leads to longevity

Your gut is never wrong; listen to it

It’s ok to not look like a fetish model; most people don’t

Sex can feel good even without orgasming

Squirting orgasms are a bit of a parlour trick; and they don’t always feel as good as other types of orgasms

You deserve as much pleasure as he does

If the effort isn’t there in the beginning it never will be

You can kneel in slip-on Converse just as well as you can in heels

You can be a kick-ass submissive and not own a single piece of lingerie

You can defer to someone and respect them as a leader even while watching Netflix and eating steak nachos with your fingers

Dominants can get sick and be huge babies and still be worthy of obedience and respect

Not every Dominant is an executive with an expense account

Submissives can make more money than their partner

You don’t have to say ‘Daddy’ to feel it in your bones

You can love someone and not be a match

Toxicity isn’t gender specific

Wanting to be wanted can lead to seriously poor decision-making

It’s ok to demand more for yourself; having standards solidifies self-worth

Strength is a process

Self-esteem requires active management

Submission doesn’t cease to exist when you’re single

Submission doesn’t end when you hit 30 or 50 or 70

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do

You can change your mind

You can use your voice

You have to use your voice

Every time I start to think how things have changed over the years I have to stop and remind myself: Nothing has changed but you. Sometimes I think about that 27 year old, that 34 year old, hell - even that 40 year old, and I cringe. The mistakes she made. The positions (literally and figuratively) she put herself in. How much mental and emotional energy she expended on him. How much she didn’t know. 

How much more she still has to learn.

But I’ll tell you what: If the next twenty bring as much joy as the last twenty, I’m in for a helluva ride. And I want all of it - every bump and swoop and whirl. The twists and turns are what make you who you are. 

Sure.

Red means stop. No more negotiation, something has crossed a line (too painful, something bad that wasn’t negotiated, etc.)

Yellow means that you need a break or that something is too much, or that if the top continues then you’re going to “red” soon.

Green means that things are going well and you want to continue if not ramp it up a little.

While a bottom might blurt out red or yellow, I’ve never seen a bottom volunteer “green”. It’s usually said in answer to when a top is checking in to make sure everything is okay. Asking “How are you?” and getting an answer of “fine” or “okay” might mean the bottom is just on autopilot and reflexively answering. Asking “What’s your color?” and getting “green” or “I was very close to yellow when you stopped” is much better.

One of my favorite doms to watch at parties was doing a pre-scene negotiation with someone he hadn’t played with before and said something like “Now, just between you and me here ;-) , my favorite color is yellow. It’s not about taking anything I can dish out. I promise you, I can always go harder. I want to know how you’re doing. I’ll likely yellow you, on purpose, a few times, just to find out where your limits are and then aim for a little below that. I don’t want to hear ‘green green green, green green red’ because then the scene’s over. I want some indication of how you’re doing and when you’re getting close to what you can handle, okay?”