I don't know how to keep myself alive any longer.
Cosimo Galluzzi
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I don't know how to keep myself alive any longer.

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Uchiha Family rare interaction

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Concept: a bunch of high school Satanists get drunk in the local graveyard and try to conjure a demon, but they’re using one of those “reconstructionist” ritual books that gets its sources all mixed up, so they end up with a minor Mithraic fertility spirit that hasn’t spoken with humans in like 1700 years instead. By the terms of its binding it’s not allowed to leave until it’s ensured a successful harvest for its summoners, which is a problem, because none of these goobers have ever raised so much as a houseplant; if it wants to go home, it’s going to have to teach them how to garden - whether they want to learn or not!
“Five high school sophomores were arrested today on charges of operating an illegal pot growing business behind the Home Depot on I-95. The 200-foot-tall plants, which police could see from their station…”
self checkout scanner: UNKNOWN ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA
me:

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one time in 2007 i crashed the entire club penguin website. it was down for 2 days. i was banned for life.
many of you have asked, and so i shall give:
in 2007, my older brother gave me a small piece of information that would soon result in the shutdown of Club Penguin for a few days. he taught me a glitch in the club penguin system that, when sitting in the coffee shop, would make your penguin sit on the ceiling of the coffee shop instead.
and with this piece of information, i took off. i spent hours going to every server over and over, saying the same message: everyone meet in the coffee shop tomorrow at 7 pm in the snowball server. i did this in every single server, in every location i could find.
then, finally, 7 pm the next day arrived. snowball had a population rating of 5. penguins poured into the coffee shop, all awaiting my instructions. i then gave the next message, that of the glitch. i told everyone to wait exactly 3 minutes, then perform the glitch. they did. every penguin in the coffee shop was suddenly on the ceiling, and either the club penguin coding or the club penguin offices had no idea what to do, and no way to take us down. for a small glimpse of time, we ruled victorious – nothing and no one could stop us.
every great kingdom awaits its downfall, however. eventually, the website crashed. no one could go on the website for 2 days after that. my penguin was banned for life.
Team 7– through the years (v2)
“You could have had me forever if you had wanted me,”
— Iris Murdoch, from “Under The Net,” published c. September 1954

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“It’s hard when you constantly feel so fucking unwanted.”
— (via adrenaline)