河北约炮

This shit sucks. I am stuck inside my head and convincing myself that I need to be with the person to be happy. When I know that I am not happy.  When I am constantly upset and crying over him. I continue to tell myself that things are going to get better and that they aren't going to happen again. But now I am starting to sound like an abuse victim of blaming myself instead of the situation.  I don't understand why I have to be like this and why I can't just get over him. I never get attached to men, but for some reason I cannot let go. Even the one guy who I was so attached to for multiple reasons, I let go. But that could have been because he was not constantly telling me how he loved me and how he missed me. That is truly what gets me every time. I start to think that I am getting over him and ignore him, then he comes back all over again, and I feel like I have hit a reset button. WHICH IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING. I keep telling him just make up your mind. But maybe I am the one who has to make up their mind. I need to learn to let go of him and move on. Not try to center myself around him and make things easier for him and convenient.  Lets see how the rest of this day go. If he doesn't come get his things then I am going to start my 1 week of not talking to him and attempting to ignore all of his texts/snaps/whatever else. Which also means that I am going to have to block him on everything so that he cannot see what I am doing. Great...