His Co-Pilot

Senses:

Sight - enhanced, ability to record visuals with a blink, zoom feature Sound - enhanced, ability to record audio Touch - enhanced, ability to identify small details, ability to identify compounds by touch Smell - enhanced, ability to break down smells into the base components for identification Taste - currently not installed, in progress…

Defense/Attack Features:

Electrocution - select or entire body can deliver electric shocks of various magnitude at will Repulsors - Located in the hands, the palm separates to expose repulsors as featured on the Iron Man armors Guns - Located in the wrists, the hand is tilted up to expose a drop down gun from the wrist. Standard rounds can be replaced with higher caliber bullets Strength - enhanced, ability to lift up to 1,000 lbs without damage to body. Additional strain exceeding 1,000 lbs not recommended.

Send one for your muse to…

★ - drag my muse by the arm ⁂ - grab my muse by the front of their shirt, possibly shoving them back ✱ - take my muse by the hips to carefully move them out of their way ➜ - smack my muse upside the head ⌧ - grip my muse by the back of the neck © - put a hand on my muse’s back to steer them somewhere ✂ - point sternly at a chair and tell my muse to sit down ✉ - push my muse back down when they try to get out of bed (perhaps involving illness, injury, or sleep deprivation) ☛ - press a finger to my muse’s lips to shut them up ♚ - put a hand on my muse’s knee while sitting next to them, to discourage them from standing up ♧ - slap my muse’s hand away from something they shouldn’t touch ♦ - grab my muse’s hair and yank ♤ - slam a door shut before my muse can leave the room ♞ - physically pick my muse up and carry them ♭ - grip my muse’s jaw to make them look yours in the eye ♨ - rub my muse down with a sponge/wet cloth  ☀ - pin my muse with their arms behind their back ☠ - slam my muse into a wall ☾ - wrestle/pin my muse to the ground

‘ i refuse to listen to reason, i have to listen to so much already. ’

‘ if i was famous i would just knock on people’s doors and be like hello, yes, it’s me. ’

*eats a snack while looking for a better snack*

‘ taking a nap is always so risky like when will i wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 3 years? ’

‘ i’m wiping the slate clean, so i have somewhere to spill all the blood of everyone who has ever wronged me. ’

‘ horrified that other people have decided to leave their house tonight. ’

‘ to me, the cookie jar is the modern day treasure chest, and you don’t have to brush off  any skeletons to get to it. ’

‘ my morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired i am.  ’

‘ grab your own butt. love yourself. ’

‘ on the moon if you don’t like something you can just throw it upwards into space. on earth if you try to do that the enemy known as gravity gets in the way. ’

‘ my stress stresses me out to the point where i’m too stressed to deal with my stress. ’  

‘ don’t worry, password. i’m insecure too. ’

‘ i should have thought about that? you know i don’t think about things. ’

‘ when you live the bart life you say ‘whoa, mama’ to the good and ‘ay, caramba’ to the bad. ’

‘ i got 99 problems but i’m gonna take a nap and ignore them all. ’ 

‘ i love the sound you make when you shut the fuck up. ’

‘ everything’s my fault when you just look at the facts and information. ’  

‘ why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone. ’    

‘ do you like bad boys? ‘cause i’m bad at everything. ’

‘ i never argue. i just explain why i’m right. ’

‘ if robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, i’d just laugh and search with them. ’  

‘ if your family members share one of those articles about how millennials can’t do anything right, consider countering by sharing the page of a below average nursing home or even just a photo of bones with the caption: sooner than you think. ’

‘ yeah, baby, i am an animal in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day. ’  

‘ can i sell my feelings on ebay. i don’t want them anymore. ’

‘ coffee is just baby formula for adults. ’ 

‘ i think i speak for all of us, just in general. ’  

‘ i get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions. ’

‘ can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? ’

‘ do not beef shame me. ’

‘ later is the best time to do anything. ’

‘ trying to decide if i should spend my evening reading a book or browsing social media for two hours in stomach churning guilt while thinking about how i should read a book. ’

‘ if you cannot handle me at my worst, that is fine. i am a powerful and terrifying thing and all should live in fear. ’

‘ people pretending to be cats is fine and cool but if some sort of huge animal wanted to pretend to be people then everyone is all, ‘please leave the bank’. ’

‘ are you bad wifi ‘cause i’m feeling no connection here. ’

‘ in the mood for a hug and 69 chicken nuggets. ’

‘ some times you spend so much time getting revenge you forget about getting retribution. ’  

‘ never underestimate yourself. but also do not overestimate yourself, that’s bad too. ’

‘ you will never be a billionaire but there’s still time to see what they taste like. ’  

‘ i don’t say this to everyone but i will barn shuffle dance on your grave. ’

‘ they will never do a live action reboot of your childhood. ’

‘ i could learn a thing or two from this? thanks for the warning, i will avoid it. ’

‘ you would think that wouldn’t you, always with your thinking things. that’s what separates me from you, the thinking. ’

‘ i’m putting free wifi on my gravestone so people will come visit me. ’

‘ sea shells, or the beach’s potato chips, are free to anyone who can find them. ’  

‘ learning is the fool’s errand. ’