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1. The Longest Masturbation Session

In 2009, Masanobu Sato won the endurance competition at the annual Masturbate-a-thon fundraiser hosted by San Francisco’s Center for Sex & Culture, an event that first surfaced in the ‘90s to destigmatize solo sex and self-pleasure. What was Sato’s time, you ask? A whopping nine hours and 33 minutes.

Today, however, Sato faces some stiff competition. According to Mel Magazine, 43-year-old Drake Hardy, a “bisexual man with a master’s degree in physical sciences,” is gearing up to break the world record, which has since increased to 10 hours and 10 minutes. Workin’ hard or hardly workin’, eh Drake?

2. The Most Orgasms In One Hour

According to a blog post from sex toy manufacturer Lelo, doctors from the Center for Marital and Sexual Studies in California once observed 134 orgasms from a single woman in one hour — the most ever documented. By contrast, the record for men stands at a measly 16 orgasms in the same length of time.

Similarly, in 1966, a woman experienced the longest orgasm on record. It reportedly lasted for 45 seconds and resulted in 25 individual contractions. Sounds like she came for a good time and a long time.

3. The Oldest Pair Of Twin Sex Workers

In 2012, Martine and Louise Fokken, then 70-year-old identical twin sisters and long-time sex workers in Amsterdam’s Red Light District, released their memoirs and a documentary film about their lives entitled Meet The Fokkens, according to the BBC. The Fokken sisters are widely considered to be the oldest twin sex workers in the business, not only in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal, but anywhere in the world. BRB, buying tickets for Sister Act 2: Fokken Me Up, coming to a theater near you.

Additional elderly escorts include a Taipei woman in her 80’s nicknamed “Grandma” and Sheila Vogel-Coupe, considered to be Britain’s oldest prostitute, who is now in her early 90’s.

4. The Largest Natural Breasts

Annie Hawkins-Turner, better known as Norma Stitz (aka enormous t*ts), is the Atlanta-based fetish model and entrepreneur who’s held the Guinness world record for largest breasts since 1999. Now in her 60’s, Hawkins-Turner’s bra size is a 102ZZZ and it’s speculated that each breast weighs anywhere between 55 and 85 pounds. In 2011, Hawkins-Turner appeared on the UK’s This Morning to speak about her experience growing up with such a prominent chest, for which she’s been the victim of relentless bullying and teasing from strangers practically all her life. Of her work in the fetish industry, she told the show’s hosts, “I've shown people that big is beautiful and you can be sexy in your own way.” Team Norma forever.

5. Most Sexual Partners In A 24-Hour Period

The holder of this record is widely considered to be porn star Lisa Sparks (also known as Lisa Sparxxx), who — at an event in Warsaw, Poland — reportedly had sex with 919 individual men back-to-back within a period of 24 hours. No one seems to have been able to out-bang Sparxxx since that fateful day in 2004, so she remains the reigning champ. And frankly, it’s a tall order — there’s not enough lube in the entire solar system to keep the chafing from 900+ partners at bay. We salute you and your steel vagina, Ms. Sparxxx.

6. The Oldest Male Pornstar

At 60, Tokyo-born Shigeo Tokuda retired from his desk job as a travel agent and took up something a little more stimulating: Porn. Now well into his 80’s, Tokuda has starred in more than 350 adult films and is widely considered the “undisputed king of Japanese mature porn.” Flex, king.

7. The Oldest Virgin

In 2011, UK-born secretary Clara Meadmore died a proud virgin just before turning 108. During a public celebration of her 107th birthday, Meadmore reportedly told the press that the key to her longevity was her abstinence. To Meadmore, sex and intimate relationships seemed like “a lot of hassle.” Maybe she was onto something… *texts ex*.

8. The Biggest Collection of Penises

If you’ve got a yen for general erotic art, The World Erotic Art Museum, located in Miami Beach, has thousands of works for you to browse. But if you’re looking specifically for a collection of more than 200 penises, you’re going to need to head to the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavik, Iceland. You’ll see whale penises, you’ll see fox penises, you’ll see penises belonging to characters from Icelandic folklore. This is your one-stop phallus shop. Bring your own condoms.

9. The Largest Orgy

The world record for the largest orgy was broken back in 2006 when 500 naked, writhing bodies came together (in more ways than one) for a sex session in Japan. Since then, the record-holders have proven difficult to de-throne. According to Men’s Health, “Menage Life's Sin City 8 sex festival endeavored to hold the world's largest orgy” in 2018, but logistical difficulties resulted in a sub-par total of 375 people. Better luck next time.

10. The Longest Marriage

Warning: Painfully sweet content ahead! Zelmyra Fisher, born in 1907, and her husband Herbert Fisher, born in 1905, sealed the deal on May 13, 1924 in North Carolina and remained married until Fisher’s death in 2015. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the two had been married 86 years, 9 months, and 16 days as of February 27, 2011. Mawwiage indeed!

11. Most Queefs In 30 Seconds

For those who are less literate in yonic expulsions, a queef is a form of vaginal flatulence, usually accompanied by a fart sound, that escapes the vagina when built-up air pressure is released, especially after or during sex.

In 2009, Howard Stern held a queefing championship, and the results seem to defy all logic and scientific principles. Abby, the winner, reportedly let 93 queefs rip in just one minute for an average of three per second. Truly, an amazing feat. All hail Chief Queef.

12. The Strongest Vagina

13. The Largest Penis

There’s a bit of a dispute about who is the true holder of this coveted record. For many years, New Yorker Jonah Falcon was considered to have the world’s largest penis, clocking in at 9.5 inches flaccid and 13.5 inches when erect. However, in recent years, a challenger from Mexico has come forth named Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, who claims to be the proud owner of a 19-incher. Go long, boys.

14. World’s Longest Kiss

According to Guinness, the longest kiss on record lasted a staggering 58 hours, 35 minutes, and 58 seconds. The love birds in question? Thailand’s own Ekkachai Tiranarat and Laksana Tiranarat. They completed the smooch at an event organized by Ripley's Believe It or Not! in Pattaya, Thailand in 2013. Talk about a marathon makeout sesh.

15. Longest Ejaculation By Distance

The official number on record is 18 feet, 9 inches, reportedly spewed from an American man by the name of Horst Schultz. However, according to a recent Mel Magazine article, these numbers are completely unsubstantiated. It’s not even clear if this Horst Schultz character is a real person or just an urban legend — an Abominable Sperm-man, if you will.

Whether or not he and his record are legit, the lore of Schultz’s ejaculate has inspired one anonymous 35-year-old North Hollywood man to shoot for the stars — or at least the other side of the room. The man, whom Mel Magazine called “Matthew,” is nothing if not dedicated to his craft. His training has whipped his pelvic floor into “prime shape,” through “various exercises.” He’s also employed “electrical muscle stimulation machines that work via anal probe.” To date, Matthew has passed the 5-foot mark with his sperm. When he reaches six, he reportedly plans to contact the Guinness Book of World Records to finally set the record straight. Far out, dude.

16. Greatest Speed Of Ejaculation

This is another record reportedly held by Mr. Schultz, of ejaculation legend. If the numbers are correct, Schultz is responsible for a jet stream of semen traveling at 42.7 miles per hour. Sir, we’re gonna need to see some license and registration, please.

From octogenarian prostitutes to heavy-lifting vaginas, there’s no shortage of amazing things we can do with our bodies. Clearly, that old saying is true: Everybody really is good at something — even if your special talent is rocketing your semen into space.

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This article was originally published on 03.26.17

HEALTH & WELLNESS

How Much Do You Really Know About Birth Control? Take This Quiz To Find Out

Written by ERIN KELLY

NOVEMBER 6, 2023

HARUKO HAYAKAWA

We get it: Talking about birth control can be awkward. But it’s incredibly important to have those conversations with a healthcare professional, especially if it’s your first time exploring your birth control options.

So, how do you prep for a conversation about your birth control options? Having a list of questions and concerns can be helpful.

Test your knowledge about combination oral contraceptives (COCs) as a first step to learning more. Birth control pills are one of the most commonly prescribed methods to prevent pregnancy, especially COCs, which contain 2 hormone components — an estrogen and progestin. COCs include low-dose birth control pills. We created this quiz below in partnership with the maker of Lo Loestrin® Fe (norethindrone acetate and ethinyl estradiol tablets, ethinyl estradiol tablets and ferrous fumarate tablets), a low-dose birth control pill that provides pregnancy prevention with the lowest daily dose of estrogen available. Take this quiz to see how much you already know about low-dose birth control options, like Lo Loestrin Fe.

Remember, birth control pills may not be right for everyone. In fact, birth control pills increase the risk of serious side effects, such as blood clots, stroke, and heart attack, which can be fatal. Smoking increases these risks, especially if you are over the age of 35. Therefore, women who smoke and are over age 35 should not use birth control pills, like Lo Loestrin Fe. See below for additional Important Risk Information, including Boxed Warning, for Lo Loestrin Fe.

Once you’re finished, schedule an appointment with your OB/GYN to discuss your new findings and ask if low-dose birth control pills may be right for you.

Question 1

All birth control pills have the same amount of daily estrogen.

True

False

Question 2

Low-dose birth control pills work differently than birth control pills that contain larger amounts of estrogen.

True

False

Question 3

Low-dose birth control pills are less effective when it comes to preventing pregnancy.

True

False

Question 4

Taking Lo Loestrin Fe for pregnancy prevention may result in short, lighter periods.

True

False

Question 5

Lo Loestrin Fe is the only available birth control pill with 10 micrograms of daily estrogen.

True

False

There is a lot to love about Lo Loestrin Fe. Learn more about Lo Loestrin Fe before talking to your doctor by clicking here.

What is Lo Loestrin® Fe (norethindrone acetate and ethinyl estradiol tablets, ethinyl estradiol tablets and ferrous fumarate tablets)?

Lo Loestrin® Fe is a prescription birth control pill used for the prevention of pregnancy. If you are moderately obese, discuss with your healthcare provider whether Lo Loestrin Fe is appropriate for you.

IMPORTANT RISK INFORMATION

Please see the full Prescribing Information, including Boxed Warning, and Patient Information.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Brought to you by AbbVie, maker of Lo Loestrin® Fe