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poems. turned 1 today!

“What if we never ‘get over’ certain deaths, or our childhoods? What if the idea that we should have by now, or will, is a great palace lie? What if we’re not supposed to? What if it takes a life time…?”

~ Anne Lamott

"I've seen quite a few holier-than-thou New Age viewpoints repeating the mantra about "you chose to go through this", implying that the one who hurts should remember that moment consciously. It's blaming the victim, and those who indulge in it invariably assume a superior attitude, as if the one in pain is somewhere "lower" on the spiritual path. But to me, that attitude is unbearably smug, not to mention rude and condescending. And probably just plain wrong. Not spiritual at all."

Nahko & Medicine for the People A film by Grototote Special Thanks Evoke Emotion Photography SJ Rosenfield Photography Wandering Skunk Photography Gianennio ...

I've been coyly commenting here and there about how I was subjected to ageism all summer long in the wilds of Sarah Palin-land, oops!, no, Alaska. I've decided to stop being coy and share a story to show just how blatant the ageism I was cornered by was:

I lived, of course, in park housing. In order to get around and say, go to the bar in McCarthy, mostly, you had to walk or ride your bike. One night, me and two of my co-workers (I won't say colleagues, cause they ~were~ not in any way shape or form), were walking together into McCarthy to go to the bar. We had to cross two footbridges to get into town. At the base of the second footbridge were handcarts to haul stuff around. When we were in sight of the handcarts, one co-worker, age 24, said to me, "Oh look, Amy! We can pull you into town on one of those." I was aghast and said nothing. Nothing. Now, I am saying something. This sort of ugliness needs to see the light of day.

Now, before someone here points out to me that I don't know that her comment to be ageist let me reframe it. What if there'd been watermelons at the base of the footbridge and I'd been African-American and she'd said, "Oh look, Amy! There's watermelon. I'd bet you'd like to eat some."

In our highly self-conscious age, post-the 1964 Civil Rights Act, "Isms," are not blatant, as in the watermelon comment, but lack of blatant does not mean that people are not throwing a cloak of some kind over you and readying you for a lynching of some kind-- as in, I think you are old and need to be pulled on a cart which translates into you are old and therefore insignificant.

There were many, many more events and comments but this one was the most horrid and wrong followed by being patted on the head and called, "Little Amy," by the second in command of Interp for the entire park. Sweet.

Hold on to what is good, Even if it's a handful of earth.

Hold on to what you believe, Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.

Hold on to what you must do, Even if it's a long way from here.

Hold on to your life, Even if it's easier to let go.

Hold on to my hand, Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.

Pilgrim's Wilderness: A True Story of Faith and Madness on the Alaska Frontier - Kindle edition by Tom Kizzia. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Pilgrim's Wilderness: A True Story of Faith and Madness on the Alaska Frontier.

Another version. This one includes incest.