batmansarmpit 🪿

hey i've been dead af sorry but here u are, bruce preggo with Dick (im sorry that it looks like ass)

I started working with infants and thats taken up most my time but also fueled the pregnant bruce wayne flames so heres some infant Dick head cannons:

was doing handstands on Bruce's bladder in the womb, and kicked/punched a lot

came out with a FULL head of hair (gave Bruce horrible heart burn for it)

kicked/puched all the time in the womb

BIG ass baby that grows into normal sized boy (came out the womb 10ibs AT LEAST)

drools like crazy, cannot keep an outfit dry to save his life so has a bib on all the time when awake

started standing independently and walking early

has long hair as an infant bc Clark is attached to the fact that the ends grew inside Bruce's womb (Bruce does NOT give a fuck)

doesn't cry but instead shrieks

has everyone fooled that he is a polite good boy (he is annoying)

bottle CHUGGER it seems unhealthy

Hurry up, Bart, you're late!

👴🧓

"Mr. Bruce Batman Wayne sir, please kindly get your head on straight, man up, lock tf in and stop b*tching around." -Tim

Y’know, everyone says Tim found out Dick was robin cuz he saw him do a somersault only one person in the world can do, but like, no one talks about the fact the robin costume is the exact same one as his last performance costume.

(Talk about a massive plot hole 💀💀💀)