Sammy: All right, Wally, I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.
Wally: I like you.
Sammy: Uh. All right. You like me, but I don’t like you.
Wally: Maybe you’d like me if you got to know me!
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@batimshiptposts
Sammy: All right, Wally, I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.
Wally: I like you.
Sammy: Uh. All right. You like me, but I don’t like you.
Wally: Maybe you’d like me if you got to know me!

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Joey: Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It's like this tangible thing you can say, "Hey, I love you this many dollars-worth."
Joey: Yes, I hate myself with a burning passion. Yes, I also think I could effortlessly surpass God. These are not mutually exclusive.
Sammy: For the love of god, shut up!
Joey: I like the sound of my own voice. I won't apologize for that.
These are quite accurate. You're doing a great job.
Thank you!!! It's nice to hear :)

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Henry: Joey is late.
Sammy: I thought it was abnormally quiet.
Henry: anyone know where he is?
Sammy, eyebrows raise: maybe he quit?
Sammy, eyes widen with joy: or got hit by a bus?!
Sammy, smiling: or caught a terminal disease!!!
Henry: I'm good.
Henry: I haven’t slept in a solid 83 hours, but yeah… I’m good.
Joey: And if you have any suggestions on how I run this operation, feel free to put them in the suggestion box!
Grant: That's just a trash can.
Joey: It sure is.
Sammy: And remember-
Jack: I know, I know, you love me!
Sammy: Actually I was gonna say that second place is first place for losers, but that too.
Sammy, watching Wally eat, in disgust: Do you know the Heimlich maneuver?
Jack: No.
Sammy: Good.

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Henry: I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, I didn't sign up for this.
Sammy: Kill my boss... Do I dare live out the american dream?
Henry: You're a fucking liar.
Joey: What, I can't even lie to you anymore?
Joey: You're so demanding.
Joey: [writing in his diary with a glitter pink gel pen] I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. The gods are dead. There's blood on my hands.
Grant, at Shawn's funeral: [places his hand on the headstone and sobs]
Grant: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

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Henry: Sammy isn’t great about expressing his emotions.
Sammy: If I say how I feel, people will say how they feel, and I don’t care.
Sammy: Do you want coffee? There is a right answer.
Wally: Uh- yes. No! Maybe?
Sammy: The answer was just picking an answer, sticking to it and not sounding like a marble-mouthed dunce.