incorrect batfam quotes

tim drake: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf. *everyone stares at tim* tim drake: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

barbara gordon: There should be meat in keyboards, like you should be able to pry out the keys and suck meat out of them like crab legs.

mar'i grayson: Just found out pickles are cucumbers, I can’t fucking breathe. nell little: This is how I felt when I figured out raisins. mar'i grayson: What about raisins?

dick grayson: It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

lian harper: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? damian wayne: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

bruce wayne: Stephanie! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover. stephanie brown: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

jason todd: I don’t have many “fun facts” but I can certainly tell you plenty of concerning, off putting facts about me.

luke fox: Not to brag, but I finally completed a five-minute task I’ve been putting off for literally a year and a half. Please clap.

dick grayson: My 4-year-old jake is demanding I play a game with him but I don’t want to because the game is he holds my eyelids open and I try to blink.

barbara gordon: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. barbara gordon: I need my socks.

bruce wayne: I don’t get it. Why am I so depressed and angry all the time?

damian wayne: You need to stop doing weird things, going out might help. sin lance: I went to the park today. damian wayne: There you go! I hope you got something from that. sin lance: *opens coat* This duck.

tim drake: I think “Oh my childhood doesn’t even impact me that much” and then I’m afraid to sit in the living room.

damian wayne: Don’t try to tell me otter facts I already know all of them. Yes I know otters hold hands. Yes I know they keep special rocks. Yes I know they use their bellies as tiny tables. I know it all.

tim drake: I feel safe having a panic attack in Costco because people are too busy looking at their two gallon things of L'oreal conditioner to care. There’s a food court right there full of napkins and I can go into the bathroom to cry and then I can go pick up some potato and cheese pierogi. It’s perfect.

batman: Do you have any idea how much pain you’ve caused me and my family? joker: Yeah. batman: Don’t you care who you hurt?! joker: No!

stephanie brown: What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don’t know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned “fucking hate this guy” and it had hundreds of notes? tim drake: Reblog it, duh.