incorrect batfam quotes

luke fox: Not to brag, but I finally completed a five-minute task I’ve been putting off for literally a year and a half. Please clap.

dick grayson: My 4-year-old jake is demanding I play a game with him but I don’t want to because the game is he holds my eyelids open and I try to blink.

barbara gordon: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. barbara gordon: I need my socks.

bruce wayne: I don’t get it. Why am I so depressed and angry all the time?

damian wayne: You need to stop doing weird things, going out might help. sin lance: I went to the park today. damian wayne: There you go! I hope you got something from that. sin lance: *opens coat* This duck.

tim drake: I think “Oh my childhood doesn’t even impact me that much” and then I’m afraid to sit in the living room.

damian wayne: Don’t try to tell me otter facts I already know all of them. Yes I know otters hold hands. Yes I know they keep special rocks. Yes I know they use their bellies as tiny tables. I know it all.

tim drake: I feel safe having a panic attack in Costco because people are too busy looking at their two gallon things of L'oreal conditioner to care. There’s a food court right there full of napkins and I can go into the bathroom to cry and then I can go pick up some potato and cheese pierogi. It’s perfect.

batman: Do you have any idea how much pain you’ve caused me and my family? joker: Yeah. batman: Don’t you care who you hurt?! joker: No!

stephanie brown: What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don’t know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned “fucking hate this guy” and it had hundreds of notes? tim drake: Reblog it, duh.

cassandra cain: It’s what’s on the inside that matters. jean-paul valley: Name one time that’s been true. cassandra cain: The fridge. jean-paul valley: Fair point.

jason todd: What’s your body count? koriand'r: Do you mean sex or murder?

mar'i grayson: Had one of those days where I felt soooo young (grocery store bakery employee gave me a cookie just because, mom left me at checkout to go look for something)

jason todd: I’m more than just a pretty face. I’m also a terrible person.

tim drake: Just made dinner! cassandra cain: What the fuck is that. tim drake: Steak! I cooked it well done! duke thomas: That is NOT steak, that’s a pile of wood chips. jason todd: "Well done" my ass, that shit’s congratulations.

cassandra cain: The cold was invented by big bed to sell more cozy sleepy in bed. cassandra cain: And brother I’m their best customer.

tim drake: stephanie just told me to get a burrito from the front pocket of her purse and I’ve never been more in love in my life.