Are you fucking kidding me this had me pissing myself
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@batattack409
Are you fucking kidding me this had me pissing myself

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This genuinely made me chuckle
Do you think Jon hears people describe Damian as violent, feral, or dangerous and just loses it?
Because Damian? Damian Wayne?
The guy that turned vegetarian for his pet cow?
The kid that spent weeks looking through a sewer for a single pearl to give to a father that constantly questioned him and his intentions?
The boy that undid years of conditioning and control in a murder cult to become a hero?
The hero that stands for redemption and salvation for all?
That holds himself to a higher standard in every way possible?
The man that decided that instead of Batmans legacy, he wanted to honour Thomas Wayne and Ras and become a doctor?
That reads shojo manga and named his dog after a Shakespeare character?
The boy that paints, draws comics, plays violin, and volunteers?
Jons' best friend is kind and loving and beautiful.
Anyone saying anything to the contrary goes on his immediate shit list. They can catch these hands and his laser eyes.
Despite what some people seem to believe, even with so much evidence to the contrary Damian will forgive them. Over and over until he bleeds.
Jonathan Kent won't.
Remember when Damian canonically went to hell?
...yeah...
Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)
Bruce and Clark bodyswap au, in which they have to pretend that nothing is wrong until they can figure out to change them back to save face in front of their families and friends, continued from pt 1
Clark, in Bruce's body, painstakingly putting on bat-mascara and bat-eyeshadow all around his eyes: I cannot do this everyday, this is killing me
Tim: But you always say that this is the best part of your job?
Clark: I do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diana, having suspected something was amiss, throwing the lasso on them: The lasso of truth compels you! Who are you really? Tell me this instant.
Bruce, in Clark's body, gesturing to Clark in Bruce's body: We are Bruce and Clark.
Diana:
Lasso:
Martian manhunter, who has long since read their minds but isn't a snitch: Yes. They are indeed Bruce and Clark.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clark, in Bruce's body, at the watchtower one morning, cheerfully, in an unnatural expression: Hello Hal!
Hal: Did you swap so much spit with your boyfriend that you ended up swapping personalities?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bruce, in Clark's body, frustrated at a case: Fuck.
Kon, who cusses 344543 times a day, immediately hugging jon, hands over his ears, betrayal shining in his eyes: W-what did you just say?

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By some supernatural accident, Batman and Superman swap bodies. But the accident was just so embarassing that they collectively decided to NOT tell anyone about, and figure out how to reverse it all on their own. But, unfortunately, this means they now have to keep up this farce in front of their families
Clark, in Bruce's body, wiping some blood off his mouth and wincing at the 15 cracked ribs he now has: Guess I can bleed, huh
Dick, staring in disbelief after the patrol: YES OFCOURSE YOU CAN!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU THROW YOURSELF DIRECTLY ON TOP OF A GRENADE-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bruce, in Clark's body, squinting at the bright smallville sun at the Kent farm: This is way too much for 11 am
Jon, staring at his newly grumpy dad: I think batman is a bad influence on you, dad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clark in Bruce's body, staring at his reflection in the mirror: The shoulder to waist ratio is insane, such a grabbable waist
Poor Tim, who accidentally overheard this, getting ready to call Arkham: Uhuh it's definitely, insane
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kon: And so I said, ofcourse, i would love the soup-er salad!
Bruce in Clark's body, deadpan expression on his face:
Kon: Get it? Soup-er salad?
Bruce: Yes
Kon, sad puppy expression: You always laugh at soup puns :(
Bruce, now with an Extremely Forced little smile: Yes it was very....funny
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clark, in Bruce's body, rushing to hug a visibly bleeding Jason who walked into the cave after patrol: What happened?! Are you okay?
Jason, freezing up because the last time Bruce ran to hug him was, never:
Clark, immediately backing up, and speaking with a deliberately gruff voice: I mean. Is the blood yours? Son.
Jason:...no
Go to part 2
Do you think damian asked his dad for a giant sun lamp for his room and Bruce had to think back to whatever new animal his son brought home this week for it to need an industrial sun lamp?
It turns out Damian just wanted one because he knows Gotham doesn't get enough sunlight and he doesn't want his friend to get sick from his constant visits to his room
(he resists Jason and Tim's suggestions of getting Jon a large rock to sun bake on too. Barely)
THAT’S SO CUTE STOP!!!
He's so happy that his son is in love, but god damn it why did it have to be a Kent???
Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)
Damian, climbing through the window: oh
Bruce, sitting with his arms crossed on Damian's bed: where were you?
Damian: um with dick?
Dick, spinning around in a desk chair: try again.
Damain: Jason! I was with Jason!
Jason, tumbling out the wardrobe: right.
Damian: okay, you got me, I was with tim
Tim, crawling out from under the bed: bullshit, you don't rate me like that.
Damian: what the fuck. Duke?
Duke, spawning from the shadows:
Damian: oh ffs. I was with Cass.
Cass dropping down from the vents: 🤨
Damian:
Damian: I was with mother.
Talia, also crawling in from the window: hello, son. Where were you-
Talia: why are there so many people in your room?
Damian:
Damian: whys this happening to me
Steph, jumping out from under Bruce's cape: youngest sibling problems. Can't relate.
Bruce: where were you actually? And don't lie this time.
---
In Smallville:
Jon, crawling in through the window: crap
Kon and Clark sitting in his room:
'Jon is an innocent sunshine golden retriever and Damian is a crazy emotionally unavailable murderous black cat uwu' VERY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER SOUND!!!
Jon is arguably the crazier one out of the two i fear. They're both their mother's sons.

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Super Sons (2017) #14
Batman!Dami and his coworker who keeps flirting with him while on duty (they’ve been married for 7+ years)
First meetings 🐶
my hc on when hisoka met mike was when illumi decided to take hisoka to meet his family and gave him absolutely ZERO warning to the GIGANTIC monstrosity that was mike and his first impression was just seeing a massive beast rush full speed towards illumi.
I don't see hisoka as a fan of dogs so lets just say... he had the same exact reaction as a threatened fox (without all the high pitched screeching). Illumi looked back and did not find a trace of him until he looked up at the top of the entrance gate. Bro was ready to dip
ANYWAYS can we get more mike and illumi content i love them SO MUCH silly owner and pet duo...
HXH CHAPTER 405 SPOILERS!!!
========================================
Hisoka depicting himself vs Illumi depicting himself...........................
Hisokas partner is all shredded and torn. His form is full and vivid and detailed.
Illumi is formless and stretched but the people he depicts are fully formed and detailed.
They drive me CRAZYYYYYYYYYYY

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So how did that scene go down for them uh...
cant stop thinking abt @illumiskneecaps tags on this tweet