Demon walks in to the living room. Locks eyes with Bruce. Bruce whispers "Ah fuck."

"You owe me your first born."

"ha, do I? That's not right is it?"

Bruce is sweating. Dick is sweating. The Demon too, is sweating. (there are far to many people and entities in the same room, it is extreamly hot)

"Please do not tell me that you, Master Bruce, made a deal with a Demon, and negligated to tell me?" Alfred is expressionless. Bruse is scared shitless. (less of the Demon more of Alfred's wrath.)

Demon looks at Dick. Dick looks at Bruce. Bruce looks at the floor, oh wow what an interesting rug, is it new-

Dick sighs. Moves towards the door, only Tim cuts in with, "Dick was never legally adopted by Bruce, was he?"

All eyes shoot to Tim. Tim shrinks back. (mostly cause Jason is looking at Tim like he's ready to do a Titan Tower rerun)

Bruce looks at Jason.

"Bruce, I swear, if I have to die a second time cause of your fuckass actions, I swear to God-"

"You died? Already? That kicks you out the running." the Demon looks so, so, tired. Surely it can't get worse? "and maybe stop mentioning the big G."

"Who? God?"

The demon glares. Jason is unruffled. He turns to Cass with a grin-

"Bruce kidnapped me. I'm not his kid." Cass is completely unapologetic as she turns to Tim. Tim, who is very much regretting opening his mouth. Should've just let Dick take the fall dammit.

"yeah well, I'm emancipated. So."

Steph is silently laughing on the couch. She stop when the demon narrows his eyes at her. "woah hold on, I'm not Bruce's kid! I'm not even adopted!"

The Demon is pinching the bridge of his nose. "Jesus Christ."

"okay so now who's mentioning the big G!"

"Jason shut up, good God please" Dick hisses

"you just said it too-"

"okay! Who's next? You?" The Demon yells. He gestures aggressively at Duke. Duke who was honestly asleep like two seconds ago. Gosh who are these people?

"Er I'm a foster kid bro. Sorry man" Duke shrugs.

The Demon is done. It whips around to Damian.

"Okay. Are you emancipated?"

"No."

"Are u a foster child?"

"No."

"Do you live in this house and have a clearly familial relationship with Bruce Wayne, despite denying that you are not his child?"

"Wow that feels highly aimed." Steph whispers.

"No." Damian replies, very much amused.

"Have you died?" The Demon pushes through.

The silence is loud.

"Well... No? Depends on who you ask tbh."

"I'm- ykw I'm not gonna question it. Are u the biological or adoptive child of Bruce Wayne?"

"Not really."

The room explodes in noise.

"Fym no!?"

"I swear to God"

"I'm calling Talia"

"Fucks sake"

Alfred fires his shotgun. Silence returns. He nods at Damian.

Damian clears his throat, "yeah I'm more of a successful science experiment. I wasn't really born. My mother created me with her and fathers DNA. so yk. I don't think that stands in the contract."

The Demons jaw has dropped. Bruce's jaw has also dropped.

"Is anyone in this room, Bruce Wayne's legal first born!?"

Silence. Duke coughs. Jason Snickers. Bruce steps forward, "listen, I'm so sorry, I promise I'll let you know-"

"Yk what?" The demon throws his hands up, "I give up, keep your damn kids Bruce!"

The door slams on its way out.

"He should be just taken Ace tbh."

Like oh my god Tony stark revealed he was iron man! Yeah jimmy in a math test. bro was uninformed asf.

Like ouu shii avengers debuted when New York was attacked? Yeah 15 Yr old Jimmy, was grounded whilst on holiday. Bro missed the whole thing.

Like boom the blip happened? Yeah bro was in the bathroom. Came out to his parents gone and social media confused asf.

Yo spiderman identity was revealed! Yeah jimmy forgot his phone at home. Bro was so confused when everyone started yelling about some guy called Peter Parker.

Dick couldn't give less of a shit. The only sport bro watches is gymnastics when the Olympics come around. He doesn't mind watching it tho cause he thinks it's peak brother bonding time.

Damian had to be physically held back after the Argentina vs Egypt game. Both Damian and Jason were on the brink of murder.

Steph watches every game like a hawk. She's weirdly obsessed with it. And she's always accurate with her guesses on who will win. Nobody knows how she does it.

Cass watches it cause she finds grown men fighting over a ball funny. (Same tbh)

Duke stopped watching after the country he supported got out, but then developed a fascination for Haaland (Norway player) and is now rooting for Norway to win. (Which like same, I love Haaland he's so silly goofy)

Tim supports England cause he thinks Bellingham is hot.

Also I think the tattoos they have are accidently matching. They all have the Robin symbol.

Dick has the Robin R over his heart. Tattooed by Roy sometime after Bruce fired dick. Was it stupid? Yes. Does he regret it? No. He got it originally to keep his parents close to his heart. Then to keep Jason near his heart after Jason died. Then to keep as a reminder that all his brothers were robin. And that they were Dick's Robin's.

Jason got a Robin R tattooed at the pulse point on his neck. It's crudely drawn and fading, but he did it himself whilst in the league of assassins. He likes the dramatic irony of it. He is a literature nerd after all.

Tim has the Robin R on his ankle. It's bold and hard to hide but that was on point. He was drunk. And sad. And had just recently took up the mantle of red Robin when he got it tatooed by Leslie. He got for himself. As a reminder for what robin stood for.

Steph got it on her collar bone. Right under a left over scar she had from black mask. Cass did it for her. It was small and easy to cover up. Steph liked it. She figured it was accurate for her robin anyway.

Duke got the robin R tatooed behind his ear when he led the "we are robin." movement. He was angry and proud and he wanted to show it. It was wonky and done by a teenager in a Gotham alley but he liked it like that. After all robin definitely wasn't perfect.

Damian got it tatooed on his wrist. His is by far the most visible. He's proud. Proud to be apart of the legacy of the robins. (not Batmans, nor the al ghuls, the robins) It was a promise. To himself. To everyone else too, but mainly himself.

Bruce: damian, you should get that stab wound checked out-

Damian: since I am the only one here that actually finished med school, let alone college, I can assure you, I am fine.

Tim: ...

Dick: ...

Jason: uhm kid you should still get that checked out-

__

Bruce, at a gala: oh yes, my daughter, cass is in Hong Kong, I will be sure to invite her to meet you next time-

Cass, quite literally standing two feet away from Bruce: ?

__

During an alien invasion:

Jason, crashing out: we could use some more hands out here, where the fuck is cass!?

Dick, yelling back: in Hong Kong

Cass, a meter behind them: *eye twitching*

--

Peter Parker: so how many siblings do you have?

Tim: oh I have a sister too, she's in Hong Kong thought, you probs won't meet her anytime soon-

and

"There are not enough selfish people in the world for me to not choose the blue button."

__

Redhood: I understand why- blah blah

Redhood: but why on gods green earth, is hE still-

Batman: ...?

Jason, going red under the mask:

Jason: is he still aLiVe-?

Batman, giggling inside a lil bit:

Batman: do you wanna...?

Robin (tim): no no, go again u were doing well!

Nightwing: yeah dw it happens! :D

Damian, from the shadows: this is pathetic Todd.

Jason:

Jason, turning to the joker: just kill me again-