"Don't read the same book twice, and expect a different ending."
Fuck off that's what fanfiction is for tf.
YOU ARE THE REASON


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@nina-s0
"Don't read the same book twice, and expect a different ending."
Fuck off that's what fanfiction is for tf.

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Batfam during the world Cup because I'm hyped for the quarter finals:
Dick couldn't give less of a shit. The only sport bro watches is gymnastics when the Olympics come around. He doesn't mind watching it tho cause he thinks it's peak brother bonding time.
Damian had to be physically held back after the Argentina vs Egypt game. Both Damian and Jason were on the brink of murder.
Steph watches every game like a hawk. She's weirdly obsessed with it. And she's always accurate with her guesses on who will win. Nobody knows how she does it.
Cass watches it cause she finds grown men fighting over a ball funny. (Same tbh)
Duke stopped watching after the country he supported got out, but then developed a fascination for Haaland (Norway player) and is now rooting for Norway to win. (Which like same, I love Haaland he's so silly goofy)
Tim supports England cause he thinks Bellingham is hot.
Alfred watching England play is the only time the man shows emotion. He has the whole house supporting England by the end of the match. Bruce gen also supports England cause he's scared of Alfred.
Head cannon that even though Bruce is against tattoos (because he thinks they make u far too identifiable) the bat brothers have em anyways because why tf would they listen to Bruce, what were u expecting really?
Also I think the tattoos they have are accidently matching. They all have the Robin symbol.
Dick has the Robin R over his heart. Tattooed by Roy sometime after Bruce fired dick. Was it stupid? Yes. Does he regret it? No. He got it originally to keep his parents close to his heart. Then to keep Jason near his heart after Jason died. Then to keep as a reminder that all his brothers were robin. And that they were Dick's Robin's.
Jason got a Robin R tattooed at the pulse point on his neck. It's crudely drawn and fading, but he did it himself whilst in the league of assassins. He likes the dramatic irony of it. He is a literature nerd after all.
Tim has the Robin R on his ankle. It's bold and hard to hide but that was on point. He was drunk. And sad. And had just recently took up the mantle of red Robin when he got it tatooed by Leslie. He got for himself. As a reminder for what robin stood for.
Steph got it on her collar bone. Right under a left over scar she had from black mask. Cass did it for her. It was small and easy to cover up. Steph liked it. She figured it was accurate for her robin anyway.
Duke got the robin R tatooed behind his ear when he led the "we are robin." movement. He was angry and proud and he wanted to show it. It was wonky and done by a teenager in a Gotham alley but he liked it like that. After all robin definitely wasn't perfect.
Damian got it tatooed on his wrist. His is by far the most visible. He's proud. Proud to be apart of the legacy of the robins. (not Batmans, nor the al ghuls, the robins) It was a promise. To himself. To everyone else too, but mainly himself.
Errr also yeah Tim deffo got a sleeve done at some point, Jason has a back tat 100%, dick has one of them cool collarbone ones that look like rope, duke has his parents initials on his forearm, Steph deffo has a black widow quote somewhere on her body and Damian has stars littered on his shoulders.
AU where Jon gets trapped and the 6 years pass on earth too but Damian never stops looking, going even far beyond the watchtower and getting various green lanterns to bring him through their sectors to search for Jon.
Imagine Jon sitting in that volcano, at the brink of despair and in so much pain and when he opens his eyes there's Damain (in specialized gear obviously), actual real Damian, extending his hand and promising to get him out of there. That he isn't here alone and vows on his life that everyone will make sure Jon gets home safely.
I love dick grayson because bruce is his God and his biggest fear is His Judgment but also he has not once in his life followed bruce’s orders

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To be a true batman fan you must simultaneously believe that batman is a middle aged man loser with mental issues, an eldritch monstrosity who is human in all the long suffering torturous wrong ways, and an cunt-serving diva with a face card so lethal it's a partial reason for inter-galaxy peace.
Damian being the academically-successful™ sibling is so special to me guys:
Bruce: damian, you should get that stab wound checked out-
Damian: since I am the only one here that actually finished med school, let alone college, I can assure you, I am fine.
Tim: ...
Dick: ...
Jason: uhm kid you should still get that checked out-
Damian: I FINISHED COLLEGE.
Personally, I love head-canon-ing characters as British because it pisses the Americans off.
But the PARASITES in me love head-canon-ing characters as South Asian cause it pisses the racists off.
Fanfic au, where for some reason in 70% of batfam fics, cass is in Hongkong or is having to take a plane back from Hongkong ect ect:
__
Bruce, at a gala: oh yes, my daughter, cass is in Hong Kong, I will be sure to invite her to meet you next time-
Cass, quite literally standing two feet away from Bruce: ?
__
During an alien invasion:
Jason, crashing out: we could use some more hands out here, where the fuck is cass!?
Dick, yelling back: in Hong Kong
Cass, a meter behind them: *eye twitching*
--
Peter Parker: so how many siblings do you have?
Tim: oh I have a sister too, she's in Hong Kong thought, you probs won't meet her anytime soon-
Cass, literally standing behind them: am I fucking invisible or sum?
?

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Talia "Go on, shout, scream, say something!" Al Ghul
and
Bruce "You're as beautiful as the day I lost you." Wayne
Guys I asked my chronically offline sister the blue vs red button scenario and she said:
"There are not enough selfish people in the world for me to not choose the blue button."
And I'm like??? Did u just??? Pholiso-fy this question?? Tf??
Redhood identity reveal, but Jason's voice cracks mid speach. Listen, he just came out the pit like 6 months ago, he just went through accelerated puberty. He's wearing a voice modulator that just amplified the voice crack.
__
Redhood: I understand why- blah blah
Redhood: but why on gods green earth, is hE still-
Batman: ...?
Jason, going red under the mask:
Jason: is he still aLiVe-?
Batman, giggling inside a lil bit:
Batman: do you wanna...?
Robin (tim): no no, go again u were doing well!
Nightwing: yeah dw it happens! :D
Damian, from the shadows: this is pathetic Todd.
Jason:
Jason, turning to the joker: just kill me again-
Batman, nightwing, robin: NO.
'Gotham core' on tiktok, and it's a video of Red Hood perched on someone's balcony, repeatedly yelling "dick!" into the darkness.
I think it would be so funny if a reporter accidently overhears one of the waynes insult batman under their breath, and like everyone is just flabbergasted till they realise that these are the Wayne's. Of course they know (and have beef) with batman.
--
Tim, in a interview, trying to explain Wayne stocks or sum idk: well, yk Wayne industries wouldn't have to pay for so many building repairs if fucking batman stopped throwing bane into buildings-
Interviewer: what was that, Mr drake?
Tim: what was what?
Interviewer: right. What do you think Mr Wayne?
Bruce: ...
Bruce: fuck batman.
--
Dick, being bombarded with paperazzi after a kidnapping: oh ffs couldn't batman save me from these snakes too.
Dick: I'm gonna fucking kill him.
Reporters: ???
--
Kid recording a tiktok: hey! Mr Todd! What do you say about the rumors that the Wayne's hate batman?
Jason: huh?
Kid recording, shoving the phone closer to jason: thoughts on batman?
Jason, leaning into to the mic: fuck batman.
--
Someone recording with shaky hands: *Duke Thomas walking out of a private gym, clearly having worked out and looking exhausted*
Duke: fuckass batman, I'm gonna beat his ass.
--
Street kid #2: hey batman! Have you heard what the Wayne's are saying these days?
Batman: *batman noise*
Street kid: do u have a message for Bruce Wayne?
Batman, leaning in: Bruce, say it to my face next time you little bitch.
Additionally:
Kid #3: I think it's kinda cute that both Bruce and Jason Wayne had the same reaction to batman
Kid #4: well yeah, like father like son-
Jason, interrupting them: actually I meant fuck batman.
Kids: ...???
Jason: yk with my dick-
Dick: Jason NO.
Inspired by @catgrandpa thanks for the idea twin 😼

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The marauders edits on tt these days are lethal. Mind you, I'm haven't interacted with the marauders fandom for months now. Noah kahan need to be kept AWAY from these editors bro. I cry at every edit.
Au where Bruce is a little shit. Everytime someone clocks "omfg Bruce Wayne is batman, the butt's do match!" Bruce just. hires them.
__
College student, knocking on Wayne manor doors: um
Bruce, opening said doors: ?
College student: Iknowyourbatmandontkill-
Bruce: stop.
College student, thinking their about to die:
Bruce: do you want a job?
College student: ... Yeah?
__
Tam fox: oh my god. You're batman.
Bruce: ...
Bruce: and you're hired! :D
__
Inspired by Tim "ik you're nightwing u lil fucker" Drake:
Kid tim: I know you're batman. And you need a Robin. I am to be your Robin.
Bruce, holding a stale sandwich and wearing nothing but a batrobe:
Bruce: you are now my elite employee!
Bruce: also how did u get in my house?