Generally A Mess

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on your for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

FISH HAMMER

For beating the carp outta someone

Today I cried a little bit because I remembered that when Beethoven conducted his ninth symphony for the first time he got a standing ovation and one of the sopranos had to turn him around to see the audience. 

well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?

When you have ADHD and your brain gets hijacked

Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

i think the joker should start talking like this for real. no other character should do this only the joker. i want batman to have to deal with this

Would you be comfortable with me sharing the story of how I got these scars

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

“eldritch horror beyond your comprehension” and it’s just a generic monster with tentacles and eyes

girl I’m comprehending you pretty easily you’re gonna have to try harder than that

in my dnd setting the most eldritch of creatures is an ape that is impossibly wide. Whatever room you're in, this ape is wider than that. Imagine the widest room you can imagine. This ape is wider. It's other proportions remain the same. His name is Wide Ape.

everyone go home we got a winner

I thought that only the bag of chips was knitted so I was like lmaoo fucking idiot bird got owned then I saw that the bird was knitted as well then I realized I was the fucking idiot bird getting owned

Happy 10th birthday to tumblr user 2-shane-s being the fucking idiot bird getting owned