The Basic 23 year old Bee

Pretty Baby by the Spin Doctors

This song was recently playing on a movie soundtrack that I was listening to and I couldn't help but think about how inquisitive and appropriate it was for my day today.  Enjoy and recollect the 90s friends!

Being single at 23 is awkward.  I am just going to say it, it's awkward.  We have finally left our college life behind and are in full swing of our adult life.  Waking up and going to work everyday is such a drag sometimes, because you sit there and realize that this is your life and it isn't going to change.  Now don't get me wrong, I am super grateful for having a steady job and even more a steady paycheck, but that doesn't mean I didn't think that I was going to have more out of my dating life at this point.  We are also well into our twenties, not far enough that we are old, but old enough that we can't continue in our college dating behavior or drinking behavior, because that is no longer "socially acceptable".  As if it is so easy to turn the on and off switch of our college routine or grad school life.  Come on!  This is not an easy transition for any of us, don't adults remember what it was like to be our age?  Just trying to find ourselves, while the whole time being half convinced we are doing what is right and the other half of the time being completely and utterly terrified that we are not at all where or who we are suppose to be at this point in time in our life.  This brings to me to why it is awkward to be single at 23.  Here is my list of 8 reasons:

1. You are too young to complain.

Now here me out here, the thing is that we are too young to actually complain about being single for the rest of our life, but sometimes you just really want to complain!  When your mom says enjoy this time in your life, okay you tell me how much you enjoyed this time in your life when you didn't know if you were just destined to be an old cat lady forever, even though you are allergic to cats!  However, some days I do love my single life, because it means I can go out and flirt with whomever I want while doing shots of tequila!

2. Weddings are so frequent!

Don't get me wrong I like going to weddings, especially when there is an open bar where I can pour wine and hard liquor down my throat at an unacceptable pace.  Because the things about weddings is that about half of your friends are getting married and you are stuck being the single friend at the table with all the other single people that you don't know, instead of getting to sit with the couples that you actually know, because that would be awkward as well.  This leads me to #3.

3. You only fit in with half of your friends now.

Half of your friends are married and want to do couple things with their new spouse, which leaves you either being the awkward third wheel, with everyone insisting it is not weird at all or canceling and being the friend that doesn't like hanging out with couples.  No people, I just don't want to be the permanent third wheel or listen to how awesome I am and someone will appreciate that and sweep me off my feet soon, like come on stop saying that, I just want it to happen already.

4. Your typical night

Your typical night as a single, young professional, basic bee is sitting at home watching Netflix, drinking red wine, popping popcorn wishing you life was like Olivia Pope's.  At least she makes the being "single" awesome because she gets to sleep with two of the hottest men on TV, like come on pick Jake already!  

5. Candles are losing their romantic touch

Candles are just everywhere in your somewhat trying to be an adult apartment, but you sometimes wonder why you have so many.  However, you love the different seasonal scents so your apartment is inevitably filled with candles and good scents at all times.  However, when you decide to take a bath and light some candles you realize it's just you and the new Gillian Flynn, Jodi Piccoult, Nicholas Sparks, etc. book and your lovely scented bath and candles.

6. Your weight is an unpredictable rollercoaster....

You go up and down in weight, because you go back and forth between being depressed about the dumb boy/man who didn't text you when you got along so well.  So you eat a pan of brownie or cookie dough and then realize you have to go to the gym, because you still need to look good in case you see him in the grocery store in your yoga pants and Pink sweatshirt.  Then the next inevitable guy or cycle rolls around and you feel sad and lonely, so you put in Dirty Dancing and order a pizza and before you know it, Patrick Swayze is lifting Jennifer Grey and the whole pizza (okay and maybe cheesesticks) are gone!

7....and so are your emotions and life plans

Like what is with this age?! I am just saying I can never make up my mind.  One week I'm convinced I never want kids and love my single life of not having to tell anyone where I am or when I am coming home.  Then the next day I am crying on my stairs with my Jameson because I want a white picket fence, children, wrap around porch, and a husband to fix dinner for and take to soccer practice and all that stuff that you convinced yourself that you didn't want last week.

8. You have to think about how you look all the time

Because people are always reminding you that you can meet your special someone anywhere!  I mean anywhere sweetie it will happen to you when you are least expecting it, when you aren't trying.  Puh-lease, I have been not trying and not expecting, I can't possibly expect any less sitting at home in my yoga pants watching Netflix.  I have to keep waxing and doing my hair and makeup every time I leave, because you want to be presentable.  So lame and exhausting!

I read an amazing article by Molly Sprayregen from the Huffington Post about 23 year olds.  It was the first article that actually captured my thoughts and feelings without telling me that everything was going to be okay or that I was right where I needed to be in life.  It just said what all of us are thinking and it didn't look to tell us what these feelings or thoughts meant or validated in our lives.  Life just is what it is sometimes and we are not alone.  That's such an important message that I am trying to learn recently.  While I have always been someone who believes that everything happens for a reason, I have also come to be someone who has to accept that sometimes life just is what it is.  This doesn't mean it's always going to get better or that we are ever going to understand the purpose of that struggle in our life, it's just something we all have to go through and we are never alone.  If you haven't checked out this article please do, I have posted the link below.