Just A Happy Loser

He shook his head, he never had before. His father preached every day when he was here that it was wrong but something about right now didn't feel wrong.

Steve was 12 when he got his first kiss from his best friend, Tommy Hagan, in his pool.

However, that doesn't mean it was perfect, he remembers the harsh yank of his father and being pulled away. His father was home earily.

Tommy wouldn't ever forget the terrifying screams he heard that night and he covered his ears to keep the sound away but he wouldn't leave, not without seeing Steve first and when he did, all the tears came flooding. He put a shaky hand to Steve's busted face.

"I'm sorry, Stevie. I'm so sorry." He said to him and Steve shook his head.

"Don't be," His voice cracked, "'cause I'm not."

Tommy was never allowed back over but the boys still hung around at school. It wasn't like before, they stole secret glances of who they would never be able to have, each other.

When Tommy got a girlfriend, Steve panicked. All the air within him evaporated and tears clouded his eyes. Tommy wasn't Steve's anymore and Tommy was all he had. All he wanted.

This wasn't young and dumb, Steve fell so fast for Tommy that he didn't think of keeping himself safe from the heartbreak. This wasn't like in the movies, this was much worse. Watching the one you want walk away hurts because it wasn't you that made them happy, it was never him, was it?

But Tommy never left. He grew distant, sure, but never left. Unbeknownst of Steve, Tommy swore to protect Steve from all the could harm him.

But when he hung around Nancy and soon things began to take a turn, they were arguing with each other, bickering far worse than a married couple, then Steve said he hated him. Tommy didn't know if that stung worse than him just leaving without another word but he didn't fathom on it any longer, instead, he just scoffed, pushing at Steve's chest in a self-protective stance.

"Yeah? Well at least I'm not the homo here."

The look on Steve's face made him regret it, not that he ever really meant it. Not at all. But to see that pretty boy sour up and grow cold hurt more than anything, he would rather hear Steve tell him he hated him at least 50 other times than to see that.

They never talked again, Tommy stayed away even if he didn't want to. He saw Steve move on and he wasn't going to ruin the only happiness his good ol' lover boy had, no, he deserved it. But, Tommy was going to keep his word no matter what, he'll protect Steve no matter what.

Steve grew from his time without Tommy, got to know more parts of him that he never thought was there. - correction, that he refused to acknowledge.

After supposedly defeating Vecna, even as they felt his evil running down their spines like chills that never leave, Steve found a new friendship.

Eddie Munson.

He was the towns freak but he was so cool. A sharp tongue with opinions but still undeniably cool.

They hung out for months, hours just cooped up in a room near each other. They got closer and that's when Steve noticed that it was happening again.

The symptoms were there, he was falling for yet another boy, one that was becoming his second best friend, first is always and will always be Robin, but it was happening again.

Steve tried to steer clear for a bit, he really didn't want to affect Eddie like this, he didn't want another Tommy. Oh that name left a bitter taste on his tongue and sometimes, he could've sworn it was sweet when he missed him, as much of an asshole as he was.

"Hey, stevie-boy, you running away from me?" Eddie attempted to joke with the joint sticking out of his mouth, a cloud of smoke departing from his lips but Steve knew he was also serious as his eyes shown a bare soul ready for rejection because Steve knew what Eddie was thinking. The King of the high-school wanting to become friends with the freak? That was a long-shot, even with all that happened.

"Yeah, I'm sorry man, jus'- things happened and all."

"What things?" Eddie's brows furrowed.

Steve let out a nervous laugh, "Don't worry about it, it's nothing."

"Did I do something? I'm kinda confused here, big boy. Are we not friends anymore?"

"It's not that, I swear!"

"Then what is it? I'm not real big on social things, just say what you gotta say."

"It's not really to do with you- Well, yes it does, but it also doesn't. It's also really on me and my stupid brain and some, uh, old friends. Just a lot."

Eddie reached out to put a hand on Steve's shoulder, passing the joint to Steve who took it even if perhaps he shouldn't because he gets really easy to talk to when he's high, just spills whatever and anything.

"Want to talk about it?"

Steve shook his head, denying anything that could come out because of him.

About 30 minutes had passed by and Steve was now with Eddie's head in his lap and Eddie was talking about his campaign, or when Steve last was listening but Steve was fading into his mind when he began looking at Eddie, so focused on every little detail of him. Steve just knew he had to be sculpted by the gods, he was too perfect but so inperfect. Steve liked loved it. He loved it all, really. He was like a dream come true.

Steve's eyes traveled to Eddie's lips that were moving at an alarming pace within his rant. One of Steve's hands went from his hair to cup his face, adoring the feeling of the man's stubble.

"-and he really was crazy." Eddie paused, "You listening to me, pretty boy?"

"Have you ever kissed a boy, Eddie?"

Now, that got Eddie's attention, he looked up at Steve with shocked eyes.

"Yes?" Eddie phrased more as a question because he had no idea what exactly he was getting into here. "Why?"

"Can we kiss?"

So, they did kiss. It was soft, easy and too much emotion to be just an experiment. Eddie's hands move to cradle Steve's neck, pulling him closer as he lifted up from his lap just enough to get a better angle of a kiss.

When they pulled away, Eddie laughed, leaning his head against Steve's.

"Why haven't we done that before?"