:^)

Straight people have access to an extra celebrity called “jelly roll” that the lgbtq can’t perceive

beer is the mind killer

beer is the little draft that brings total inebriation

I will let the beer pass over me and through me, and when it is past, I will turn my eyes to my car keys

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

ball lightning caused by discarded batteries maybe

everyone on the block hates me because I have to take my pet loose sheet of aluminum siding on a walk every day at 3am

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

Noones going to believe me but cocteau twins stole alot of ideas from my uncle

met gala theme fat and in jeans