Barely Sane Reviews

I'm not sure, but I think the first movie I ever saw in theaters was a Judy Ann Santos x Wowee De Guzman movie because my grandmother, who raised me while my parents were busy at work, was a big Juday stan. She took me to see Filipino films, then Disney films, then the Harry Potter films. These were the three main genres of my childhood and I have strong core memories of them all, at least one frame from each movie that's forever in the powerpoint presentation of my life.

Like a lot of people, it took me a while to get back into watching movies at theaters post-pandemic. Especially now that I'm old and grown and movie theaters are increasingly more expensive, I consider watching movies more of a luxury rather than a hobby. And now that it's nearing December and the weather is ripe for introspection and reflection, I think one thing that brought me a lot of joy this year were the movie-going experiences I had. Each one was delightful, enjoyable, and made vastly better by being at the theater as opposed to just watching on my laptop at home.

So while I have time, this is my little ode to the movies of 2023.

Elemental

I watched this with my coworkers at Uptown Mall in BGC. It was our first hangout outside of work, and it really solidified the relationships we had coming from a workforce of like, six people. (Since then, we have grown to ten people! + three staff!) As for the movie, I honestly didn't think it was Disney's strongest, but I loved the animation, the concept, and the Lauv song. If I was the only one watching it, I would've gone away thinking that the metaphor for the immigrant experience felt a little too simplified, and the central love story was mostly okay but not that necessary to drive the point home. But as I watched it with a coworker who bawled her eyes out, I ended up thinking about what made the movie and the experience meaningful and relatable, and ended up thinking that its simplicity was one of the film's strengths.

Barbie

I absolutely loved this experience. It was another movie I watched at Uptown Mall this time with my sister and Colleen. I don't have to tell you about my thoughts on the movie because it has been analyzed to death, but I will say that I greatly enjoyed it. Margot Robbie was perfect, beautiful, and delightfully nuanced while playing a doll and, Ryan Gosling was hilariously hammy. There's always something deeply touching about inanimate objects experiencing life for the first time. I felt so happy and blessed to be human, and to be part of this large scale phenomenon where everyone dressed up in pink to watch a movie about a doll. We were the first in line for our showing, and I will forever remember seeing everyone come out of the previous showing in their Barbie best - kids in their jackets and pink sneakers, adults in outfits that ran the gamut from adorable to kitsch to sexy to avant-garde. Man, it just made me so happy.

Aftersun

I love watching movies alone, and when I saw that a series of global indie movies were being shown at Greenbelt for cheap, I couldn't say no. Lately, I've begun to spend more intentional time with myself, and it's been fantastic. Aftersun isn't the happiest movie, but unlike the others where I was glad to have someone share the joy and delight with, I was glad to be able to sit with its deep cuts into my memory on my own. Watching it alone gave me so much space to deal with the feelings it brought up and I got to take the time to bask in that unforgettable feeling after a good movie where the world feels like its full of new meaning.

Past Lives

Probably my favorite movie of the year? I think a lot of people found it a little lacking and were craving for a bit more closure at the end, but I found its restraint really resonated with me. Despite not being Korean, Canadian, or American, I feel like I have a lot of personal connections to this movie, to the point that the dialogue between Nora and Haesung feels like something I might have dreamed up myself. I watched this movie at Central Square with my sister, who I spend maybe 85% of my life with and is one of the only people I will talk to about such big feelings.

My Shinee World

My most recent theater experience is one I had with Colleen at SM Megamall. I don't really consider myself a Shawol, but Shinee has always had a place in my heart. I've known about them even before I got into kpop and a lot of their music has just been around in kdramas and music videos on TV as I grew up. And even after my kpop conversion, I found that I just really like their music, old and new, and they're just generally a really solid, talented group. I really loved how this documentary/concert movie was structured, with the members talking about their journey in between stages, which themselves were stage mixes of their performances from their concerts. There was also the framing device of the members being in a Shawol's room, which evolved as the fan grew with the group, the merch, albums, and posters on her walls and shelves changing in step as the group released more music. I loved that level of immersion that made even me, a casual fan, really feel like I was part of their journey. There's always that layer of distance when you're participating in events of groups that aren't your ults, but there was something about this movie that felt inclusive and even cozy, like you were looking through a photo album with your friends. And I'll never forget how absolutely everyone in the theater wept when the group sang Our Page, as we all celebrated and mourned the life of a shining star.

This review contains spoilers.

I love how Korea keeps coming up with these shows that are about two lonely people who develop a quiet, gentle love. My Mister, My Liberation Notes, and Because This is my First Life are what come to mind. A recent entry is Disney+'s Call It Love, about two people who meet because of an act of revenge but end up falling in love.

Woojoo (Lee Sung Kyung) and her siblings get kicked out of their home by their father's mistress after he dies. Woojoo, dubbed "crazy" by her siblings, finds out that the mistress sold their house and gave the money to her son, Dongjin (Kim Young Kwang), the CEO of a young event planning company. She applies there as a part-time employee to destroy Dongjin's life, but learns that he's a gentle soul who has lost the will to fight for himself. She starts caring for him, then gradually, they fall in love.

What I like about their story is that, although it started with lies, every interaction between them was sincere. Woojoo's words are abrasive but she is honest and caring in her own way. Dongjin is often quiet and chooses his words, but whatever he says is earnest. They spend time together, often in silence, but that's what makes their connection deeper. They are together in their loneliness and end up bringing each other comfort.

Although part of me did feel like Woojoo's and her family's lives revolved too much on the consequences of what their father did, I liked how they all learned to heal and take responsibility of their own future. Overall, Call It Love is all about forgiveness, of choosing love. Even for Dongjin, who learns to forgive his ex who cheated on him and left him, and his mother, a constant toxic presence in his life.

In a way, it is also about choosing yourself. Woojoo, who initially had no dreams for herself and cared only about what she wanted for her siblings, finds a job that she's passionate about doing. Dongjin, who used to just go through the motions of life, ends up leaving the company to do what he feels alive doing.

Oftentimes, I found myself wanting to screenshot scenes from this show because it captures loneliness so beautifully. It also doesn't hurt that Lee Sung Kyung and Kim Young Kwang are both beautiful, tall people who have immense chemistry and bring depth to the characters.

If you ever come across this show, make sure to check it out. Prepare yourself for tears, though.

Hello, 2023. Hello, same old us. We're hopping back in here to share some life updates and tell you about some movies, series, and books that made our hearts expand in 2022. How have you been, Barely Sane friends? We wish you a year of ease this 2023.

Colleen

2022 was kind of a whirlwind for me. I did this thing at the start of the year where I wrote myself a hopeful letter. It kind of steered me into this path of exploration, of saying yes to new experiences. So naturally, a lot of new things happened and I didn't get to read/watch a lot of things. I also went back to taking my master's, so I died half of the year. I managed to watch 85 films and 38 shows and finish 22 books. Some of my favorites I have already shared in past posts, so the six things I'll share here are those that I haven't yet talked about.

Nobody Knows (2004) - Dir. Hirokazu Koreeda

I always talk about Koreeda because his work always manages to exceed expectations (wellll except for Broker, which was still good! but I don't like it as much as the other Koreeda films). Nobody Knows is one of his most-known films, so I had high expectations, but the film still exceeded that. This was a tender, quiet ache, and—as what Koreeda usually does—delves deep into issues of home and family, and the mundane flawedness of humans. Koreeda captured what it's like to be a child thrust into a harsh, indifferent world, but his characters aren't resentful or full of hatred. Until the end, they choose survival—but they also choose hope. Link to more info here.

2. The Worst Person in the World (2021) - Dir. Joachim Trier

I didn't think much about this film after I saw it, but I guess the fact that I still remember the plot months after having seen it says something. I wouldn't be friends with this girl, and I couldn't relate to some of her struggles, but I felt invested and I wanted her life to turn out fine. I also appreciated how Trier showed his unique style throughout the film, and there's even one sequence that I sometimes still think about to this day due to my curiosity about how it was shot. Not my ultimate favorite, but would recommend. Here is the synopsis.

3. Pachinko by Min Jin Lee

There's nothing that hasn't already been said about this book, but I'm adding it to my list because it's one of the few memorable books I read last year. I found this very interesting because I didn't know a lot about the Korean diaspora in Japan. But this also tackles a lot of other things, aside from having a whole cast of characters whose depth made the story feel so real. I get that the TV adaptation changed a couple of things to make it more hopeful, because this one was tragic. It reminded me of Do Not Say We Have Nothing, which I also highly recommend.

4. Not Here to be Liked by Michelle Quach

I usually don't read young adult romance anymore, but the premise of this one reminded me of the type of YA that I liked. The main couple had clear chemistry and I think younger readers would appreciate how it tackles feminism. Looking forward to reading more Michelle Quach!

5. Yellowjackets (Season 1)

This one has a very interesting premise: a high school girl soccer team survives a plane crash in the 90s through (spoiler) a ~smattering~ of cannibalism and shady cult activity (spoiler). (Actually I'm not sure if this is still a spoiler since this is what it's known for). The show follows the girls before and immediately after the crash, and as adults with a dark past. This was thrilling, scary, and unpredictable, and I loved that this was executive produced by Karyn Kusama who directed Jennifer's Body. Melanie Lynskey, Christina Ricci, and Juliette Lewis, and the girl from The Book Thief are part of the main cast. And Frodo is part of season 2, so yay!

6. Street Woman Fighter (Season 1)

Shaniqua

To say that 2022 has been tough on me is an understatement. It felt like a putting out a series of wildfires, each one springing to life immediately after the last one died, wreaking havoc on my health (physical and mental), self-esteem, relationships, and finances in turn. But in the middle of that mess, I managed to find some shining lights in the darkness to keep me, as we like to say, barely sane.

(Side note: I recently went through our archives on a whim, and can you believe BSR started in May 2014??? What a ride it has been.)

Music:

We've already revealed ourselves to be kpop fans, so there's no point hiding it now. Unfortunately, kpop was one of the major natural disasters in my life this year as my favorite group disbanded around my birthday. Maybe I'll finally post my kpop journey on here as a tribute to them, but in the meantime, here are the songs I've clung onto to fill the void.

fromis_9 - DM

I've managed to chop up this song into bits that basically narrate my life, from the opening soliloquy "Hey you, 지금 뭐해?", to the very cathartic "Doesn't matter~~~!" every chorus, to the release of energy in that whistle note towards the end. It's just an oddly comforting bop that I keep coming back to, and I'm happy to say that I fell in love with the girls' discography in the process. Stream Stay This Way!

(G)I-DLE - Tomboy

I've followed Soyeon since Produce 101 (the curse/blessing that got me into kpop) and have stanned (G)I-DLE since their debut. I gotta say - Tomboy is a masterpiece. The way they came back with a shot heard around the world after losing a member and a year of solo activities is the cheffiest kiss. (6)I-DLE forever.

Honorable Mentions: VIVIZ - Loveade; Le Sserafim - Fearless; Taeyeon - INVU; and of course, NU'EST - Again

Film:

Love and Leashes (2022)

Though I watched last year's Let Me Be Your Knight for my bias, my favorite discovery of 2021 was Lee Junyoung. His character Taein was so endearing and charming, but a bit too similar to his previous roles. When I heard he was going to star alongside SNSD's Seohyun in a movie about BDSM, I had no idea what to expect. What I got instead was a weirdly sweet and loving film about two people learning to trust each other as they navigate their own preferences and desires. So excited for what he's going to do next, with or without barking.

Honorable Mentions: Turning Red, Minari

TV:

Do we still call it TV if we don't watch it on a TV?

Strangers From Hell

I actually watched more kdramas this year than I usually do to fill the void that Nu'est left behind, so I got to watch some of the more popular ones as they aired. But what can I say, I'll always be a sucker for a good dark kdrama. This one features one of my faves, Im Siwan, as he slowly goes insane from living in a rundown goshiwon whose inhabitants may or may not be murderers.

Pretty Proofreader

One thing I love about jdramas is that they can make anything - from an underrated sport to an overlooked profession - sound rewarding and exciting, and this charming little story about a wannabe fashion editor who gets assigned to the proofreading department of her favorite magazine is no different. As a fellow optimist, I felt so represented by Etsuko. Satomi Ishihara's extra outfits paired with her uplifting smile got me through Covid.

Honorable Mentions: My Liberation Notes, A Business Proposal, Spy x Family, Alchemy of Souls (ongoing)

Colleen

I watched a lot of TV shows the first half of the year because ya girl was unemployed for a while. Here are my top 5 picks and some honorable mentions.

TV:

Our Beloved Summer

I don't know why, but I got so obsessed with this show. Choi Woo Shik and Kim Da Mi had so much chemistry, and their characters just drew me in. The show is about two high school students--the top student (Yeon Su, played by Da Mi) and the bottom-ranking student (Ung, played by Woo Shik)--who are put together for a documentary. After getting to know each other while shooting the documentary, they fall in love and date for years. They eventually break up but are forced to reunite to do a sequel to the documentary, this time documenting their lives as adults. There was just something about the way the story was written, how well Woo Shik and Da Mi played the characters, and the summer vibe and visuals of the show. It just sucked me in. I rewatched scenes a million times and even did an ugly drawing inspired by a scene in the show. I look forward to seeing these two work together again.

My Liberation Notes

I love a kdrama that follows a group of characters and really digs deep into each one. You would think that the romance in this would be highlighted more than the character arcs (because kdrama), but the show balanced the romance and the characters' growth really well. There were several moments in this show where I saw myself in the characters and it also made bold story choices. I knew this would be good because the show's writer, Park Hae Young, also wrote My Mister which I also really liked.

Film:

Moonlit Winter

I found out about this film on IG, where I saw that Kim So Hye (of Produce 101 fame) starred in a film a few years back. I liked the aesthetics of this film, the slow pace, the quiet affection between the characters. It had the same vibe as Little Forest, and it also had that mother-daughter journey from miscommunication to friendship. The mother's story is heartbreaking and is not often told, and I liked how the film subtly subverted narrative tropes and let her story of yearning overflow.

Strawberry Shortcakes

This one's a rewatch. I saw it years ago, and although I forgot about the title and most of the story, I found it interesting how I still remembered a few parts of it even years after. I decided to rewatch it this year to refresh my memory and see why the film stuck with me. Strawberry Shortcakes shows the inner lives of four Japanese women: a sex worker who sleeps in a coffin and has a singular obsession with a man she knows from high school; a stone-worshipping assistant whose innocence sticks out in a workplace that sells sex; a sleep-deprived, solitary artist struggling to succeed in a money-driven industry; and an office worker who's looking for love. It's rare to see a story that revolves around a group of women who live complex lives, and the film also makes notable choices in cinematography.

Book

The Soulmate Equation

Happy new year, BSR readers! Whether yours started with a bang or a whisper or like me, in quarantine because I got covid, we're hoping that 2022 brings a little bit of joy back into the bleakness of this still-ongoing panini we're all in. Here are some things we're looking forward to this year, pop culture-wise.

Shaniqua

Since I don't really keep tabs on release dates, my list is more of a catchup on things I missed in 2021.

- more poetry - Like I said in our last post, one of my resolutions this year is to read more poetry. I really should be making a list of poets to check out, but off the top of my head, I want to read Kim Addonizio, Rumi, Mahmoud Darwish, Carol Ann Duffy, Ocean Vuong, Natalie Diaz, and Ada Limon. I am also embarrassingly deficient in my knowledge of Richard Siken despite being an English major.

- No One Is Talking About This by Patricia Lockwood - I watched a lot of booktube videos on the Women's Prize last year and this was on the shortlist. I've heard it described as a book that's very much about the internet, and as yet another person haunted by social media, that concept intrigues me.

- This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone - I actually already started reading this on ebook, and it's very lyrically written to the point that I don't really understand what's going on? But I was assured by some booktubers that that's a normal reaction to have, so I'll try to push through the very confusing initial first few chapters to get to what's supposed to be a very satisfying end.

- The Green Knight (2021) - Dev Patel is my "I'll watch anything he's in" celebrity. I've watched him since Skins and I will continue to watch everything he's in on principle. The fact that this is also a retelling of an Arthurian legend that I read about in college is pretty interesting too, I guess. But mostly, Dev Patel.

- Luca (2021) - Everybody watched Encanto (and rightfully so, it is the most charming film about generational trauma I've ever seen), but a lot of people seemed to miss this little Disney/Pixar movie about a sea...monster? in Italy? It just seems like a cute little film that will bring some much needed escapism amid these travel restrictions.

- Brooklyn Nine Nine (Season 8) - Brooklyn Nine Nine is just one of those delightful, comforting shows that I keep coming back to when I need a laugh with my friends. Honestly, it lasted as well as a show about cops could in a time where so much (totally justified) distrust surrounds the police in the US. Hopefully the last season gets on Netflix some time this year.

- more Japanese content - Another goal I mentioned for this year is to get a good foundation for Japanese. I'm still stuck on hiragana and katakana, but I want to continue exposing myself to the language because that helped me a lot with Korean. I also find a lot of Japanese dramas and animes have more slice of life type plots that are more my speed. I recently watched Pretty Proofreader and I'd like to see Satomi Ishihara and Suda Masaki in their other work.

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Colleen

1. Everything Everywhere All at Once (Film)

I know nothing about this film except that it's by A24, stars Michelle Yeoh, and that it's about an action-packed multiverse adventure. But that's enough to put this at the top of my to-watch list for 2022. Check out the trailer below:

2. Don't Worry, Darling (Film)

I guess this is the part where I have to admit that although I was never a fan of One Direction, I like Harry Styles and that seeing him make out with Florence Pugh on screen is enough to put a film on my watchlist. That, and the fact that this is directed by Olivia Wilde, who seems to be making interesting moves as a film director, taking a darker route after her debut film Booksmart. Teaser below:

3. Love on the Brain by Ali Hazelwood (Novel)

I recently read and liked Hazelwood's The Love Hypothesis, and it's rare to see romance novels about women in STEM, so I look forward to reading her next book. Love on the Brain is about a female NASA neuroengineer who falls in love with her hot archenemy. Check it out here.

4. Mad About You by Mhairi Mcfarlane (Novel)

I've probably already mentioned it here, but Mcfarlane is my favorite romance novelist (ahem-I've read all of her books-ahem), and it's nice that she keeps releasing new novels every year. Mad About You uses the roommates-to-lovers trope, and I'm interested to know how Mcfarlane does her own twist. Synopsis here.

5. Twenty-five, Twenty-one (Korean drama)

Kim Tae Ri and Nam Joo Hyuk as the leads! In a (seemingly) feel-good show set in the 90s about a not-so-famous competitive sport! What more can you ask for! Read the synopsis here.

6. Bridgerton Season 2

I miss this steamy period romance show. I liked Bridgerton Season 1 so much that I read three books from the source material after watching it, just to find out what happens to the other characters. So naturally, I will watch the next season as soon as it comes out. Watch the First Look video below:

7. Broker (Film)

Bae Doona, IU, Song Kang Ho, and Kang Dong Won together in a film directed by my fave Hirokazu Koreeda? Say no more. Read the synopsis here.

Hello again. Life caught up with us in the latter half of the year, but we're back (sort of)! Before we officially bid 2021 goodbye, we wanted to do a quick wrap-up of the goals that we had for the year and the progress we've made. How about you? What were your 2021 goals?

Colleen:

This year, I wanted to be gentler with myself, so I set general goals that I won't feel restricted by or are pretty flexible. Here are they:

I didn't manage to do an hour of reading a day, but I did finally achieve my Goodreads goal (30 books) for the very first time, so I consider that an achievement. I did write an hour a day as my goal but I think what also worked was that I prioritized reading whenever I had free time and read multiple books at a time, reading whatever suited my mood. It made reading feel less like a chore or a task to cross out of my daily list.

Numbers 2 and 3 under "Nurturing Creativity" are sort of connected: by maintaining my book IG, I'm already doing creative things outside of writing, so both have been accomplished this year. I also drew/did a bit of coloring on the side and had fun decorating my room. I do want to be more active in this though--I'm interested in learning pottery and in experimenting with painting again, but we'll see. In general, I just wanted to give my creativity other forms of expression, so any activity that fulfills that fits this goal.

As for "Finding Balance," I did keep seeing my therapist regularly. This helped me a lot (an understatement), and I'm going to keep applying all that I learned. I did become gentler with myself though, which was good, but it also made me less likely to do yoga 6 times a week. Yoga makes me feel balanced and relaxed, so I'm going to keep doing it, but there's no harm in being less strict about it. I did ditch reading about work halfway through the year when things got busier, but I'm going to work on this in 2022 and beyond, just as a general rule. I tend to want quick results, so studying can be difficult. But achieving results means going through the process of learning and making mistakes, so might as well get on with it.

Shaniqua:

My 2021 goals come in the form of a mood board/collage of the tangible goals that I had tacked onto my wall for most of the year, with the back detailing the mindset goals I had for myself.

(1) One of my standard resolutions every year is to develop my hobbies, namely writing, bullet journaling, and language learning.

First, writing: This year, I began a secret but deeply fulfilling writing project with a friend, and I consider that to be the biggest achievement and gift that 2021 has given me. It will never be published but it brings me so much joy.

I had pretty much laid off the bullet journaling this year, but I'm okay with that. I've accepted that my hobbies simply have seasons. While 2020 was the year I regularly updated my bullet journaling instagram, 2021 just wasn't it. That's fine. I'm sure I'll return to it someday again if I feel like it.

This was my first year not taking formal Korean language classes at my university, but instead, I'd downloaded apps like Slowly and Tandem and got the chance to talk with native speakers. I'd also maintained an 86 day streak on r/WriteStreakKorean, which helped me immensely with my grammar. Next year, I want to continue improving my Korean speaking skills and get a good foundation for Japanese.

(2) You might notice a lot of travel photos on this collage. Yes, well.

I took two trips this year, one to Cavite for my parents' anniversary and another to Pampanga and Olongapo with my college friends (hi Colleen! :))) Both were really fun, and it was so great to be out of the city, but obviously, it doesn't quite scratch that itch of wanting to go to another country.

(3) I also wanted to learn a new recipe every month. I'd learned a few simple ones during the first few months of the year and even got to bake a cake, but I'd pretty much abandoned it after June lol. Not sure if I want to pick this back up in 2022. I still want to learn to cook, of course, but I feel like I should take a different, more proactive approach to it.

(4) As of this writing, I've read about eight books, which is double last year's four. There's a lesson on comparison here lol, but I didn't really assign a number to my reading goal this year for that exact reason. I just wanted to enjoy reading again, without any pressure on the content or the amount, and I think I've accomplished that. Even though I've fallen off in recent months, I now view reading as a fun, relaxing activity that I do in the morning while I eat breakfast.

Also! I've gotten really into poetry this year and I hope to read more in 2022. I love Mary Oliver's work, and I'm really excited to discover more poets as I go on this journey.

(5) Finally, you might or might not recognize those five men there in the corner. My initial goal was to see them again this year, and though I missed their November concert (it was super clutch and in a different country, so sadly, there really was no way for me to watch it), I did manage to continue living my best fangirl life this year with no regrets.

In addition to their one comeback, they mostly did solo activities this year and I was glad to support each of them in any way I could. I could only catch Baekho's musical, Midnight Sun, because Hedwig was sadly unavailable for online streaming and Altar Boyz was during the busy holiday season. However, I am a religious viewer of Aron's Circle Room and Let Me Be Your Knight, where my ult JR plays a character whom I have plenty of hot takes on, don't get me started. (Minhyun does stuff too I guess lol. I listened to his OST!)

And the midyear updates continue! This time we're going to talk about the films that made the first half of 2021 memorable for us.

Colleen's Films

From this list, I've removed Microhabitat because I already posted about it a few months back. Nomadland is another memorable watch, but since it's a big hit at award shows, many of you are probably already aware of it, so I won't talk about it here as well. Here are the most memorable among the lesser-known films I've seen this year:

1. Romantic Prelude (2009)

I randomly found this on Netflix one weekend and was instantly drawn to the premise: two next-door neighbors, separated by the paper-thin wall in between their apartments, form a strange bond without meeting. It's a missed connection type of story in which the focus isn't really on the developing romance between the two. Throughout the film, they each have their own inner battles to overcome, their own goals to achieve, and their own lives to live. This made the brewing romance and the ending even more satisfying to watch, so much so that I've been trying for months now to write a Pinoy version of it. Good luck to me!

2. Romance Doll (2020)

This I also stumbled upon on Netflix and two things made me interested to watch the film: Yu Aoi, who's known for her interesting choice of projects, and the premise itself. Romance Doll is about Tetsuo, a sex doll maker, who falls in love with and marries Sonoko, played by Yu Aoi. Tetsuo keeps his job a secret from Sonoko and becomes obsessed with creating the best sex doll in Japan. This fractures his relationship with Sonoko, who eventually grows distant and reveals a secret of her own. With the peculiar premise, you would think that the story would feel weird and unnerving. But the film interweaves it with familiar themes that made me empathize with both characters from beginning until end. Yu Aoi, u da best.

3. Swing Kids (2018)

Directed by Kang Hyungchul, who made Speedy Scandal (2008) and Sunny (2011) which I both loved, Swing Kids easily tugged at my heartstrings and made me laugh. It stars EXO's D.O (Do Kyungsoo), who plays a young and rebellious prisoner of war in the 1950s who discovers love and friendship through a tap dance group called Swing Kids. My description makes it sound cliche, but it explores familiar themes in the best kind of way: the right mix of comedy, drama, and heart. I'm always drawn to stories of strangers forming a strong bond over a common interest, so that was definitely a plus. I'm excited to see what Kyungsoo does next!

4. Samjin Company English Class (2020)

This one is another Korean historical film set in a much more recent time, the mid-90s. It's about three young office ladies who take up English classes to move up the ladder at a time when workplaces were still blatantly sexist and getting a stable job was difficult without a college degree. On their own, they uncover a corruption scandal that threatens to upend their lives. Similar to Swing Kids, this one is a perfect mix of friendship, fun, and drama. Most of all, it's the story of three women who learn to find their place in the world without sacrificing their principles. I support!

5. Together, Together (2021)

When I read the synopsis of this, I thought it's another one of those films that start with two strangers becoming friends then falling in love. I was looking for something that spoke to me as a person who's been single all my life and enjoys being so (at least 80 percent of the time). Thankfully, Together Together delivered. It discovers a unique kind of friendship, a different kind of love, one that people might deem unconventional but is love nonetheless. This film is a love letter to singledom and healthy platonic bonds between people. If you're looking for a film that would make you feel less alone, check this out.

Shaniqua's Films

I'm dividing my list lopsidedly into two (the positives and the negatives) and I'll be writing about them alternately so it makes for an interesting review sandwich.

1. Promising Young Woman (2020)

My hits of the year aren't very surprising tbh. I loved all the same movies you probably did. While Promising Young Woman was quite heavy-handed with what it wanted to say, I found that the aesthetic choices - Cassie's girly outfits, the pop song remixes, the theatricality of her planning - really spoke to me. I know it's more than a revenge fantasy, but honestly, there really is something deeply satisfying about seeing some assholes get what they deserve and to have it all done in bright colors and pastel.

2. Fan Girl (2020)

Watching Fan Girl is an experience worth going through once but probably never again. The title leads one to believe that the film will be an exploration of what it's like to be a modern-day fangirl, from the wholehearted devotion all the way to the inevitable disillusionment. Let me save you some time - this ain't it, chief. It's dark and uncomfortable and you'll finish it wanting to crawl out of your skin. Honestly, I thought the movie conveyed its intended message pretty well and Charlie Dizon did amazing with what the role demanded of her, but a tale about the highs and lows of simple fangirling it is not.

3. Bo Burnham: Inside (2021)

One of my most recently logged movies, Inside is basically the quarantine special we all needed. It starts off with songs about facetiming your mom and white women's instagram accounts, which are both absolutely hilarious and strangely sincere. Then it slowly devolves into a very relatable descent into depression induced by the need to make something--anything--productive and good and meaningful in this cesspool of a world we're all stuck in that was already pretty terrible before a virus broke out. Basically, this movie is a wild ride that hits way too close to home.

4. Yellow Rose (2019)

Like Fan Girl, I had high expectations for this film because it was the first of its kind I'd ever heard of. It had a Filipino protagonist trying to make it in a dominantly white field while dealing with her mom's illegal immigrant status. However, like Fan Girl, a charming lead character isn't enough to make up for the surface level treatment of a topic that deserved a more nuanced portrayal. Not to mention all the awkward acting, strange pacing, and the unfortunate white savior complex this movie had going on. It kind of made me like country music though.

5. Paterson (2016)

I don't know what came over me, but I somehow read more books than usual this year. I've read 15 books so far, and I also recently bought 20 books (goodbye, savings) from Big Bad Wolf, so I look forward to reading more gems for the rest of the year. Anyway, here are my top 3 books for the first half of 2021. What are yours?

1. Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

I've read several of Bardugo's works, including book one of Shadow and Bone and the Six of Crows duology. Six of Crows I thoroughly enjoyed, but Shadow and Bone I thoroughly disliked. It's complicated. Ninth House is probably one of the first I've read from the occult/supernatural genre, and after reading it I found myself wanting to read more from the genre. In Ninth House, we follow the story of Alex Stern, a misfit who's mysteriously recruited to monitor the activities of Yale's secret societies. Things get awry real fast. There's a lot of mystery involved, and the timeline of the narrative shifts from past to present, so it can be confusing at first, but it was effective in piquing my interest every chapter. Similar to Six of Crows, while reading this, I found myself getting annoyed at Bardugo for writing such impeccable dialogue and compelling main characters. It made me want to write again, and I look forward to reading the next book!

2. Who's That Girl? by Mhairi Mcfarlane

I've read and loved all of Mcfarlane's books, so obviously, her work will always be at the top of my reading lists. Who's That Girl? is about the story of Edie, who gets wrapped up in a scandal at work and gets sent back home to ghostwrite for an actor as a result. Of course, the actor is hot and they immediately fall for each other. If you want to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling of being in love, this is highly recommended. Mhairi, please adopt me.

3. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

This is a well-known book, so I'll let Goodreads handle the synopsis. I have to admit, the first half of this I took long to get through, probably because of the slow pace. However, I liked the two main characters Eleanor and Raymond, and I appreciated the careful crafting of their growth both as individuals and as friends. As a character study, the novel did well; but I think it would have been better as a shorter book. Still worth checking out though!

Depending on when this gets posted, I'll have probably talked a bit about my penchant for dark kdramas. I wouldn't say I'm an expert on the genre as I generally still don't watch dramas that often, but every crime/thriller drama I've seen has absolutely captured my heart in the way that the romances (with a few exceptions) never could. My latest obsession is this year's Beyond Evil, or 괴물 (Monster) in Korean.

The synopsis might seem pretty standard. Two detectives are on the hunt for a serial killer. One of them, Lee Dongsik (played by Shin Ha Kyun), lost his twin sister to a killer with the same modus 20 years ago. To make matters worse, he was accused of being the one who killed her. Han Juwon (played by Yeo Jin Goo) is the son of a high ranking police official who gets transferred to Dongsik's substation. He's a stickler for the law and initially suspects Dongsik of committing the same crime again. Dongsik and Juwon get thrown on the same team, and exciting things ensue.

I think Beyond Evil is definitely for people who are already fans of the genre. By which I mean, I don't think someone who's used to watching lighter stuff would necessarily instantly get into shows about murder after watching this. It's the kind of show that knows the deep labyrinths of its story well and executes each beat perfectly. It doesn't try to do anything new except tell a fantastic story, and that is the show's strength.

After a few episodes, I was desperate to know who the killer was, and even after it was revealed, I wanted to know even more. That was how I knew I was watching something good. It's also a story that gets more convoluted the more you learn about it, but the payoff is so worth it. The conflict grows from the core motivation of finding out who the killer is to exposing so many secrets and the characters' roles in these larger systems and their own individual values. The show doesn't use cliffhangers lightly or solve them in the first few minutes of the next episode. Every move has meaning and weight.

The first few episodes take it kind of slow, and I understand that that can put some people off. Instead of getting us invested in its characters, it tries--to borrow a line from the show--to sow reasonable doubt in the viewer. It tries to make us wonder whether our protagonists deserve our trust, and that niggling feeling stays with you throughout most of the show's run. But that's what makes the moment when you're in the last few episodes and you realize that do trust the characters--and better yet, that the characters trust each other--all the better.

Which brings me to the bromance in this show, y'all. Beyond Evil is still more plot-driven than character-driven. While the characters have a lot of agency, the story leans more on their external struggles than their internal ones. Of course, the emotions brought about by complicated family dynamics, emotional trauma, and dealing with the tragic deaths of loved ones are shown. But for the most part, the characters react the way we expect them to, and unless someone is revealed to have done something horrendous, relationships between the good guys stay the same. Except for our main characters.

By the end, Dongsik and Juwon's relationship had grown so much that I was in tears. Granted, I am an emotional person, but I never could have predicted that the partnership between this crazy man and this stick in the mud could genuinely affect me so much. It's the small moments that show them slowly growing to care for each other that show their humanity and prevent them from fully becoming the titular monsters of the show.

And while that feeling of tenderness is most apparent in our protagonists, it's a feeling that extends to the other citizens of Manyang. The show puts each of these characters through so much, but it gives them their well-deserved moments of peace and justice at the end. If romcoms have their guaranteed Happily Ever Afters, the same goes for crime dramas. It may not be guaranteed and these stories take a messier, bloodier route to get there, but for quality ones like Beyond Evil, that's exactly why it's so satisfying to watch.

Rainy days in Manila! Don't they just make you want to take a nap at least three times a day? We're not complaining though. Here are a few things we enjoy watching/listening to when it's cold enough to tuck in and while the downpour mutes the outside world.

Colleen's recos:

1. "My Future" - Billie Eilish

As a person who has never had a "special someone," I appreciate this song of self-love from Billie Eilish. It reminds me that it's okay to be "in love with my future" without having anyone but myself. The quiet vibe of this song goes well with the sound of gentle rain in the background, too. "Know I'm supposed to be unhappy without someone / but aren't I someone?" Indeed, Billie, indeed.

2. "Holo" - Lee Hi

Another comforting song that I recommend if you feel sad during rainy days is Lee Hi's "Holo." This one is also about self-love, acknowledging that life is full of sadness and dissatisfaction, with a hopeful promise that "one day it will stop." That's how I interpret it, at least. Looking forward to what Lee Hi releases next!

3. Little Forest (2018)

I always talk about this film, so my friends are probably sick of hearing this at this point, but what a warm hug of a film! Little Forest is a Korean adaptation of a Japanese film of the same name. It follows the story of a young woman who leaves the city to live alone in the countryside where she grew up in. Deepening her relationship with nature, she slowly learns to make sense of where life led her and the reasons behind her mother's disappearance a few years back. It's the Korean equivalent of Cottagecore, so if you're into that, check this out!

Shaniqua's Recommendations:

1. NU'EST Minhyun's cover of this song from the Taiwanese drama "Someday or One Day"

I'mma be real, friends. I have no idea what this song is called in English and I don't have a clue what the lyrics mean. Google Translate says it's "Want to see you" or "Missing you," but don't hold me to that. I've also never seen the Taiwanese drama. All I know is that I love the little rap part Minhyun does near the end of the song lol. But in all seriousness, I've been finding myself wanting to listen to this song lately, along with Minhyun's other solo songs - Earphone and Koisuru Hi. I think his sweet, drama OST voice is just perfect for this weather. Interestingly, this one is in Chinese, Earphone is in Korean, and Koisuru Hi is in Japanese, so you can take your pick depending on what language you're in the mood to listen to. We stan a multilingual man.

2. Cuddle Weather (2019)

I'm not even going to try to defend myself for this one lol. I actually haven't seen this film since I watched it at the Piyesta ng Pelikulang Pilipino in 2019, but I remember it exceeding all my expectations. Granted, they weren't very high in the first place, but I also feel like this film doesn't deserve all the negative reviews it has on Letterboxd. Sure, it doesn't accurately represent the experience of sex workers, but I don't think that was ever its goal. It wanted to tell a cute, wacky, heart-fluttering story about two sex workers falling in love, and on that part, it was pretty successful. The chemistry between the leads was equal parts cheesy and sweet, and I particularly found Sue Ramirez to be so damn charming, I had no choice but to stan. If you're looking for some butterflies in your tummy to warm you up this season, give this one a try.

3. Rilakkuma and Kaoru

We're embracing our kpop fan selves this time! The theme for this first kpop music video recos post is elements: water, fire, earth, and air.

Colleen's Recommendations

1. Water

I am a Shawol, and I'm not ashamed to always find ways to include SHINee in kpop lists. SHINee's latest music video, released just a month ago, is a balm for my quarantined self. Not only does it make my four boys look like underwater princes, it also features the powerful vocals of my bias Onew. Compared to "Don't Call Me," "Atlantis" has more of that SHINee vibe that reminds me why I became a fan.

2. Fire

I won't pretend I understood all the symbolism in this music video, but listening to "Tomboy" as a flailing adult in her late 20s hits different. Check out the English translation, which reads as though Hyukoh read the journals of all people their age and made the content into Art. Fuck you, Hyukoh. <3

3. Air

B.I, former leader of iKON, is back! With all that happened to him in the past year, you'd think he'd come back with a song that's full of anger, but instead he came back with the music video equivalent of a tight hug. I look forward to seeing him grow as a solo artist, and please, universe, release his Law of the Jungle clips with RV's Yeri!!

4. Earth

I did not intend this, but this last music video recommendation also offers comfort to weary adults such as myself. It's nice to see kpop artists like EXO's Chen branching out and doing this kind of collaboration.

Shaniqua's Recommendations

Before I begin, I just want to say that I tried really hard to include my bias group in this list, but they currently don't have any overtly elemental MVs. I guess I'll just have to talk about them in another post, heh.

1. Water

I really couldn't pick, so I'm cheating on this one! You can treat it as a Choose Your Own Adventure of sorts, since the videos are so different. "The Real" was my introduction to N. Flying and I've never looked back. It's three minutes of crackhead energy that'll liven up any boring day. If you liked this video, definitely check out the rest of N. Flying's discography as their songs are just the definition of energy and fun. On the other hand, we have absolute icons AKMU with one of the most heartbreaking songs I've heard. These two have really matured so much in their music. The water imagery turns around from N. Flying's fun in the sun to this deeply contemplative look at the end of a relationship. Even if you can't speak Korean, this is one to listen to on a rainy day when you want to have a bit of a wallow.

2. Fire

Even as a casual listener, TXT's whole coming of age narrative has always been interesting to me. I like how "Can't You See Me" contrasts their upbeat playful personas in "Crown" with a buttload of angst. I absolutely love "puberty is a bitch" concepts (I've said before that Welcome to the Dollhouse is one of my favorite movies) and the bloody, firey imagery used as the members play around like kids expresses that so well. I'm pretty sure I would've vibed to this as a teenager, and hell, as an adult, I already like it a whole lot.

3. Air

Kind of an obvious choice lol, but I really couldn't think of anything else more perfect. A pretty simple dance-focused video, I really like the fresh vibe that fits the song really well. I have some...feelings about GOT7, but I really am happy they've decided to pursue their own paths and I'm thankful that we've had so many bops from them while they were at JYP. Wishing them all the best!

4. Earth

A bit of context: I recently purchased a monthly subscription to HBO Go, which surprisingly has a pretty obscure/indie selection of Asian films. This was where I discovered Microhabitat, a 2017 film about Miso (which means "smile" in Korean), a 30-something woman who makes a living cleaning strangers' houses. She values only three things in life: cigarettes, whiskey, and her boyfriend. So when the price of cigarettes is doubled and her rent is raised, Miso decides to move out and ask each of her former friends to let her stay the night. These friends were once part of a band, although the film doesn't say what Miso's role was in that band.

What immediately struck me while watching Microhabitat was my knee-jerk reaction of comparing Miso to myself, a half-formed adult woman who still has zero to minimal knowledge of what I really value in life and what it means to me to be "happy." As a character study, the film directs our attention from Miso's questionable life decisions to her former friends who seem to have made the "adult" decisions but remain unhappy. All the while, the story is blanketed by this kind of absurdist humor that seems to say that even though we follow life's expected course, we're still stuck in this illogical loop of general dissatisfaction.

In a sense, Miso seems to be dissociated from this loop: even though she barely has enough money to make it through each day, she's satisfied just having the three things that she values, and she doesn't care about people's opinion, even those of her old friends who keep telling her that she "hasn't changed." In fact, she's intent on not changing, even drinking medicine daily to keep at bay an illness that turns her long hair permanently grey. Despite being deemed stuck and unable to grow up, Miso doesn't harbor resentment: she performs acts of service for her friends (cleaning their homes, cooking for them) and allows them to confide in her, neither complaining about her dire situation nor asking for monetary assistance. When she gets called "shameless" by a rich friend whose house she's staying at, she doesn't say a thing and just quietly moves out.

On the surface, it seems as though she's the one who doesn't have life figured out. In one scene, she asks a customer for a bag of rice but the bag has a hole at the bottom, so when she arrives home, there is literally nothing left of the rice she was given. She chooses cigarettes over rent, a thing I would never do. I found myself getting annoyed at her for this at the beginning, thinking that she had to fix her life. But the film tells us the opposite: at the end of the day, isn't life simple? If you had the things you genuinely value most, shouldn't you be satisfied?

Life goes on: her boyfriend [spoiler alert] accepts a higher-paying job in a faraway country. "You traitor," she says to him. But he leaves nonetheless. Miso fails to find a decent place she can afford. Even the price of whiskey at her favorite sophisticated bar increases. We don't see her for a while. In the end, we're shown glimpses of this faceless woman with grey hair who still goes to the same bar and drinks the same glass of whiskey. She lives in a tent under a bridge and is no longer in contact with anyone, but her friends all know she's happy. [end of spoiler]

I don't know how to explain why I ugly cried seeing those last few scenes. Maybe it was because I knew she made the right choice, but that in reality, it's a choice I don't have the courage to pick. It broke my heart seeing this tenderhearted person choose the simple joys in life and get pushed to the sidelines because of it. Of course, there's also this bigger narrative of it being Capitalism's Fault, but I don't trust myself to discuss that properly, so let's just put it this way: society's obsession with money = mind-numbingly terrible for everyone.

There's a glimmer of hope there, knowing that we can still somehow choose, if we only dare to. It's the hope that Miso leaves her friends with, along with a photo of her taken during their band days: Miso surrounded by them, holding a cigarette and a shot of alcohol with a smile on her face.

We’ve all been there before. The world is going to hell in a handbasket and you need to believe in something good again but you’re also too dead inside to do anything more than scroll around with your favorite timewaster - YouTube.com. But your recommendations page is filled with the same old faces doing the same old content, or maybe your faves haven’t uploaded anything new in a while, or maybe you’re just in the mood for something new. Like we said, we’ve been there. We understand and we gotchu. Whether you’re in need of some comfort or knowledge or entertainment, here are some of our favorite hidden gem YouTubers to help you feel a little less alone.

Colleen’s Recommendations

1. Leena Norms

Leena is a UK-based Youtuber who creates videos about adulthood as a millennial, books, and the climate crisis. I used to watch only her book-related videos, because she recommends books (combination of contemporary fiction, romance, and non-fiction) that are not in most Youtubers’ radar. I haven’t read most of her recommendations, but what I did read I immensely enjoyed: she recommended a Mhairi Mcfarlane book in one video and now I’ve devoured all of Mcfarlane’s books (except for the latest one). 

Lately, I’ve also been enjoying her 20s Toolkit videos, which tackle climate crisis anxiety, navigating life in your 20s, and learning “how to adult” on your own terms. If you’re looking for practical, insightful advice on how to somehow make it through life intact, then you’re probably going to enjoy her vlogs too. 

2. Fran Meneses (Frannerd)

Fran is a Chilean illustrator currently living in New York. Her vlogs, mostly the follow-along type, are about living abroad as a freelance artist. She’s also does video hauls of art supplies, travel videos, and videos about mental health. Like Leena, she’s one of the few Youtubers that I’ve been watching for years now, so her videos now feel more like video calls with a friend. 

3. Miku 

Miku is a recent discovery. She’s a Japanese freelancer who recently moved to Taiwan, and she’s one of those vloggers who talk through subtitles and often don’t show their face. Miku does video essays, haul videos, daily routine vlogs, and music playlist videos, all of which have this clean, quiet home aesthetic (does that make sense? probably not). If you’re looking for vlogs to help you relax, you should give her a try. 

Shaniqua’s Recommendations

1. Sabrina and Friends

Sabrina has been making videos for a long time on her channel as NerdyandQuirky. She’s one of the people who were part of the OG crew of nerdfighters (John and Hank Green’s YouTube community), though I have to admit I was always reluctant to get into her content because she was so young and I was born a skeptical grandma.

But then I started watching her series, Answer in Progress, which she makes with her friends Melissa and Taha (thus the rebranding). It’s a great little educational series in a style comparable to videos from huge media companies like Vox. They ask a question, explain the research using beautiful graphics, and perform an experiment in an effort to answer that question. Since they’re all fresh grads making videos from home in this pandemonium, the experiments don’t always work and they’re quick to call themselves out on that. Instead, they present what they did learn with humor, affection, and respect for knowledge. it makes their content accessible, relatable, and fun. I wish I could get on past!Shaniqua’s case for being so pretentious and not getting in on this channel sooner.

2. Yhara Zayd

I love me some intelligent film analysis, and Yhara Zayd has some quality thoughts on quality films. Honestly, there isn’t a shortage of film analysts on YouTube, and there are a lot of other great ones out there that analyze films from specific, nuanced, insightful points of view. (Accented Cinema comes to mind) And not just give a summary of the film and their thoughts. That’s a review, Mary, not an analysis.

Yhara’s content just clicked with me from the moment I watched her video on Skins US (I’m a huge fan of Skins UK and knew next to nothing about the US version before that video) and it makes me really happy that she’s gained quite a following since then. Her videos are edited in a very specific style that appeals to the bullet journal, 80s pop, girly girl in me, and her voice is so elegant and calming, I could probably listen to her read the dictionary for hours. A lot of her videos are about coming of age films, with a specific focus on teenage girls, and she doesn’t shy away from darker, indie movies or foreign language films. She’s such an important, compelling voice and I love hearing her thoughts on everything from so-called “auteurs” to surprise princesses.

3. Bailey Sarian

You might have already heard of her since her channel really blew up in the past year, but her content is so niche that I don’t think people know of her if they’re not in the true crime community. Also, I just wanted to talk about her because Bailey is hands down one of my absolute favorite YouTubers. Since I discovered her, I’ve never missed a video, and watching her can really brighten up any dull day. What does she do, you ask? WELL.