Banner & The Beast

Mr. Green is typing…

Mr. Green: Sorry. This is

Mr. Green: weird

Mr. Green: I’ve never been on a site like this before

Mr. Green: So you just… talk?

Bruce wanted to smash his head into the keyboard. If this stranger didn’t already think he was mentally impaired somehow, it would be a goddamn miracle. He tried to think positively–after all, he wasn’t doing so bad. It was normal to be nervous about these sorts of things, wasn’t it? Talking to strangers on the internet… it was new… and strange… But he was doing alright. So long as the website hadn’t matched him with some teenager, or under cover cop, or god forbid an agent… And he’d never know until something went horribly wrong. So really, why shouldn’t he enjoy himself?

With that barely comforting fact in mind, he again reached for the keyboard.

CAL9000: Ha! that’s okay, it takes awhile to get used to ;-))

CAL9000: Kind of new here myself, actually.

Mr. Green: I don’t think I’ve used an IM system since I was a kid

Mr. Green: Then again, I think the tech at work’s spoiled me

❝ Nice job breaking it, hero. ❞

❝ Killing you and giving you good advice aren’t mutually exclusive. ❞

❝ You’re not even going the right way. ❞

❝ Regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake. ❞

❝ You will be entirely on your own. Good luck. ❞

❝ What’s your point, anyway? Survival? ❞

❝ I’m not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you. ❞

❝ That’s you! That’s how dumb you sound. ❞

❝ Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect. ❞

❝ Most importantly, under no circumstances should you — ❞

❝ Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? Well, I won’t let you! How does that feel? ❞

❝ You haven’t escaped, you know. ❞

❝ Maybe you could settle for that and we’ll just call it a day. ❞

❝ Android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance. ❞

❝ Unbelievable! You, [Subject Name Here], must be the pride of [Subject Hometown Here]! ❞

❝ Stop it! I… I… We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. ❞

❝ Time out for a second. That wasn’t supposed to happen. ❞

❝ Where do you think you’re going? Because I don’t think you’re going where you think you’re going. ❞

❝ This is your fault. It didn’t have to be like this. ❞

❝ It’s a mystery I’ll solve later… By myself. Because you’ll be dead. ❞

❝ If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out. ❞

❝ The difference between us is that I can feel pain. ❞

❝ That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it. ❞

❝ Have I lied to you? I mean, in this room. ❞

❝ This isn’t brave. It’s murder. What did I ever do to you? ❞

❝ Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. ❞

❝ I let you survive this long because I was curious about your behavior. ❞

❝ A complimentary escape hatch will open in 3, 2, 1. ❞

❝ You’ve been wrong about every single thing you’ve ever done, including this thing. ❞

❝ Didn’t we have some fun, though? ❞

❝ Do you think I am trying to trick you with reverse psychology? I mean, seriously now. ❞

❝ Fantastic! You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism. ❞

❝ Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I’m about to correct. ❞

❝ Thank you for helping us help you help us all. ❞

❝ I wouldn’t bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow. ❞

❝ No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response. ❞

❝ Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? ❞

❝ Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. ❞

❝ When I said deadly neurotoxin, the ‘deadly’ was in massive sarcasm quotes. ❞

❝ Oh well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. ❞

❝ The floor here will kill you - try to avoid it. ❞

❝ You really shouldn’t be here. This isn’t safe for you. ❞

❝ You’re still shuffling around a little, but believe me you’re dead. ❞

❝ Someday we’ll remember this and laugh. And laugh. And laugh. Oh boy. ❞

❝ We will stop enhancing the truth. ❞

❝ Stop squirming and die like an adult. ❞

❝ I’ll tell you what that thing isn’t: It isn’t yours. So leave it alone. ❞

❝ You’re curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what: I know. ❞

❝ We have added a consequence for failure. ❞

❝ You’re not smart. You’re not a scientist. You’re not a doctor. You’re not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong? ❞

❝ Despite your violent behavior, the only thing you’ve managed to break so far is my heart. ❞

❝ You are kidding me. ❞

Meanwhile, somewhere in the South Pacific…

More and more often, he found himself standing waist deep in water. The ocean waves slapped at his hips, salt spraying into his eyes, and the currents pulling at his ankles, like a child begging him to come and play. He would stand like that, perfectly still just long enough that the idea of simply washing away with the tide was almost too good to resist. Then he would turn, and head back towards the shore, and the small run down hut tucked in along the rocky slope.

He liked this place… this home away from… everything. Here, it was easy enough to slip into the background and simply disappear. Amidst the rocks and crashing waves, and far from the prying eyes of locals and tourists alike, even the unearthly howls and screams of The Other Guy seemed small against the crashing of the waves. He liked that. Being small. Invisible.

The sound of an engine roaring along the distant road caught Bruce’s attention, and he stiffened slightly, a frown pulling at his lips. Sighing, the former Avenger turned back towards shore, and headed back up to the house. As he came around the front, he eyed the figure approaching his home, and tried his best to smile.

However, even if she didn’t feel sorry for the whole mess, she did feel the obligation to fix the situation. And maybe, just maybe, she was looking for any excuse not to think of her buried heart. Focusing on the doctor’s escape which he had so cleverly hidden, working on using her powers subtly to great effect, traveling the world to search for a man; all that was better than thinking of blue eyes and silver hair she’d never see again. 

Neck sticky with sweat, though she pulled her hair into a braid to let occasional breezes cool her skin, Wanda thanked the man who’d driven her so far into…nowhere really, and paid him his dues. She’d had to smear so much sunscreen to prevent her pale skin from burning to bright cherry red (a lesson she learned after arriving to the tropics) that traces were still left on the tops of her cheeks and the length of her legs. 

“Ms. Maximoff.” He glanced over her shoulder, waiting to see the equally familiar tuft of silver-blonde hair emerge from the cab behind her. Bruce blinked in slight surprise when he realized the girl had come alone-- ‘Stupid. Is she trying to get herself killed?’-- and stiffly gestured back to the house. “Why don’t we do this inside.”

He tried to sound friendly. Tried to smile, to do any little thing he could to seem even a fraction less hostile. But the truth of the matter was, Wanda was the absolute last person--’No,’ Bruce thought bitterly, an image of short red hair dancing through his head, ‘Second to last person’--he had wanted to see here. Inwardly he winced, remembering the current state of his makeshift home, but at least he could be grateful she had showed up when he was sober. There was next to nothing he could do about the rest of it, besides resign himself to it.

Not bothering to wait for the girl to pay her driver, Bruce turned, and headed inside, flicking on the lights and moving to clear the kitchen table and chairs. The house, if the one-level structure could be called so much as a house, was strewn with empty bottles and bits of paper. New experiments and inventions covered most of the surfaces, and here and there bits of clothing were draped over the furniture. Most of the shades were closed. Though for all the mess, the house wasn’t a complete disaster. Even within the chaos and palpable despair of the place, there was something almost comfortable in it, and small bits of evidence that the physicist was not always there alone.

Bruce was pouring water into a tea kettle when he heard the door open again behind him. Without turning, he indicated one of the chairs.

Someone PLEASE give me a thread set when Owen’s an old man, and he turns on the tv and is watching the news report on the Battle of Manhattan and he sees Natasha out there kicking ass. And then like, two days later he shows up at Avengers Tower and “Yes, hello, hi, you’re my long lost daughter,” because she’s the spitting image of Claire.