beep beep skrt skrt

⌠ VERNON CHOI, 23, AGENDER, HE/THEY ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ALPHONSE KANG! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in DRIVER’S ED AND KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (worn doc martens, the glow of a computer screen, empty cornfields, cartoon bandaids over blisters). when it’s the (gemini)’s birthday on 06/18/1997, they always request their CHOCOLATE STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

hi i’m kiwi (26/usually pst but currently cst rip) and i would apologize for alphonse but actually i love them?? 

“would you stop comparing me to trees? it’s weird, dude. i’m not even that tall,” he says, as if he wasn’t literally six foot six feet tall, annoyed with the lack of sleep already. “like hell you are,” he grumbles, gesturing to the clock like the grumpy old man he is to point out the late hour. “you dragged me out of bed at 3 am for mcdicks, you’re not eating my food. you’re barely humble as it is.” 

Though incredibly nonchalant the way he spoke, Sam still let out a small laugh at the face Al made, regularly endeared by it as always. Truly insane the way he brought it up, but make no mistake, Sam did absolutely note that Al called him cute, and takes exactly one second to register it, process it, force himself not to react, and store the information in the back of his brain while letting out a totally cool and collected chuckle, like he’d been called cute countless times before. “I’m not feeling anything, no– though I’m not sure I can read the vibes. You think it’s a bust?”

“You may have a point there. But I do sorta think I wouldn’t dip my hand into hot lava, Al,” she smiled with a teasing grin. Ruby liked Al’s strange personality, it was always a breath of fresh air to be around someone who was far more carefree than she was, who she also didn’t suspect would judge her every move. “Oh, yeah, totally. Me and my bootcamp scores could definitely take one down,” she joked, if only in hopes of getting one of the agents to laugh. No dice.

“ wow, you should really consider unionizing. these kinds of things add up, y’know. ”  barbie slapped the bandages on one-handed, nodding along to whatever al was saying about respect as she used her other hand to keep shoving burger in her mouth.  “ ooh, i do love a good skate… my feet are gonna be a real problem though. ”  she wiggled them a bit, contemplating the issue with a small frown. all her plan did was continue to ruin her life, even after the fact.  “ maybe if i put, like, twenty bandaids on them? that should fix it. ”

“you’re a foot tall, how do you eat so much?” he wondered aloud, quietly from the passenger seat as al gave their order to the speaker box. “deluxe big breakfast, two bacon egg and cheese biscuits, and a decaf coffee.” clarence spoke slowly enough that he could parrot it back to the clerk. “i can’t believe you dragged my ass out of bed for a pikachu kids meal. add two apple pies, too.” 

“ i thought that much was obvious, ”  she joked easily, rolling her eyes,  “ today was just a lot. and i don’t trust anyone else to drive, so… consider it a privilege. ”  barbie sat up, eyeing al’s collection of bandages warily. they were very… colorful.  “ tweety’s fine. as long as it gets the job done. i’m sure kiki’s gonna get a kick out them when i get back. ”  kiki would be the only other person who would get to see them, anyway. she might never wear sandals again.

“if they didn’t, i’d be surprised. i don’t think they’d have an event for just a few days, right? didn’t they just come out?” the fake that he wasn’t asleep, in bed, was one that still weighed on him, but at least he’d get chicken nuggets out of it. he shook his head at his roommate, making a face. “if you can just be cool until we get to your car, you’ll be fine, dude. no somersaults.” 

Sam raised an innocent brow in Al’s direction as he looked over at him, a bit of intrigue on his features. Al talked about it with a lot less conviction than other students did, like it was just as natural as finding a desk job. “Maybe you could freelance? Although, I guess that still requires you do find clients…” Sam trailed off as he followed after him into the D.C. streets. “No, I’m down!” he smiled, a bit too eagerly. He didn’t mind scary stuff in general, but he wanted Al to be sure that there was no problem.

                ❝ ah ! ❞   was her automatic reaction as she saw the paper approach her tongue through her phone screen ,   ❝ wow , i can’t believe you just attacked me and then called my idea disgusting .  this is a hate crime .  i’m calling your father . ❞   after giving her friend a quick thank you hug , she caught up to al and entered his car .   ❝ ooh , yeah !  fifty piece combo with the usual flavors ? ❞   as she asked , she got the wingstop app ready .  she checked how far the cvs was from them , about 10 miles .   ❝ i’m gonna say three minutes . ❞   to be cinematic , she began playing wind blows once she finished her sentence as if it was an indicator for him to start driving .

she widened her eyes at them, stifling a full laugh as she took a step back, picking up a normal pastry to add to the plate she held. “ten dollars. no way someone doesn’t notice, at least.”

                ❝ oh my god , i was literally just thinking that . ❞   once al was done with his solo shots , she took some selfies of her own .  of course there were the classic peace signs , smile , eyes closed — however , for the last one she decided to have some fun and make it appear like she was going to lick the sheet .   ❝ what if it’s actually great for your pores and you never break out again cause the dust just decides to live there forever ? ❞   she had no actual idea how pimples worked .

“What, you don’t think you’re up to snuff?” Ruby asked. At that, she laughed again, but the sound was a lot more dry and sarcastic that time. “Hardly. I, uh, sorta fumbled the bag right at the end. Turns out it’s pretty difficult to go around unseen when you’ve got your own agents following your every move. Like a second tail on the tail,” Ruby sighed, making a face as she remembers that embarrassing moment.

selina carefully tucked the napkin wrapped cookies into her purse, a casual glance over her shoulder to see if anyone would notice. leaning back over to al, she whispered conspiratorially, “nobody’s gonna know.” 

with @banggkang​ !

                ❝ it’s fine , if he wants to touch the declaration and stuff i can just call my friend again and ask her for a round two .  plus , i think this prank is too good to stop . ❞   she began wondering if she should post their journey on her story but realized that someone might tell on her friend and she shouldn’t risk it .   ❝ oh, my god — high key love that , though .  we should use them still just for fun . ❞    of course kiki joined al in doing the choreography to the music , deciding if she they crashed at least it was doing something they both loved .   ❝ yes to everything .  this is gonna be so funny , i can’t wait for this .  wait , we should ask my friend to pretend to be knocked out and we’ll do all the poses with her k.o’ed too . ❞   the drive seemed short with the help of al’s playlist and before she knew it , they were with her friend in the elevator to the basement getting ready for their first picture .   ❝ which one do you want to do first ? ❞   she was ready to mirror all the poses he decided on .

“You don’t think you’re ever gonna need more than just one skill set?” he teased, and it was partly the Blackthorne in him wanting to point out the ways a proper student should excel in all areas. Or at least, he thought it was, he wasn’t totally sure how in tune he was with that side of him sometimes. Sam tried not to smile to hard at Al’s choice of words, but nodded happily anyway. “We can wing it, no big. Anything you’re dying to do?”

he stared at the ceiling, a dead look in his face as he genuinely considered murder for a few moments after the tree frog bit, before shoving himself out of bed. “i swear to god, if you get me in trouble for a fuckin’ egg mcmuffin,” he jabbed his finger at al’s face for emphasis, tugging boots and a coat on. “and you’re not hiding under a trench coat, you’re just going to say you’re a fourth year if we get stopped.”