Who put the baby in charge? It's already hard to buy all the parts and learn to use them; Who put the world on my back and not in my hands, Just give me a chance; Listen to my mama, listen to my dad, Listen to my sisters, everyone relax; Everybody answers shit I didn't ask; Think I'm reaching my limit; Can I exhale for a minute? Can I get this out in the open? Can I sit down for a second? Can I breathe for just one second?
â HAILEE STEINFELD, 21, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ⥠welcome back to gallagher academy, RUBY MERIWETHER! according to their records, theyâre a SECOND year, specializing in RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (twenty different study playlists, the sun beaming on smiling cheeks, and silent and uncomfortable rides in a private cars). when itâs the sagittariusâ birthday on 12/11/99, they always request their CHERRY COBBLER from the schoolâs chefs. looks like theyâre well on their way to graduation.
                      đŤđŞđŹđ´  đ˝đ¸  đľđ˛đŻđŽ
ACCESS: GRANTED
FILE NAME: MERIWETHER, R.; 21; FIRST DAUGHTER
Ruby Meriwether was born to a highly respectable family. That is, the family of Virginiaâs own Governor Charles Meriwether. Well, at the time of her birth, her father was simply a city councilman, but he worked his way up the ranks slowly but surely. Ruby often wondered if she was only born to make their family portraits looks more picturesque and vote-ableâ a husband, wife, and three smiling beautiful daughters. Itâs not like she can complain too much. She knows how lucky she had it, the youngest raised in a family of wealth. Things were handed to her when she hadnât even asked, and as much as she hated that, Ruby knew she had to be somewhat grateful.
Every school was a private and expensive one, and the only way she could think of to actually prove she deserved to be there was to be the smartest girl in the room. Books were all she relied on. Ruby couldnât make friends very well if she triedâ and she tried. Maybe they saw what she secretly feared: that she didnât deserve her place. Or maybe no one wanted to be a friends with a nerd. Or maybe she just never really had the right personality to hang around entitled brats who rarely studied and rebelled at every chance. Ruby was a good girl, she knew that much. Even if it sometimes infuriated her to smile for the cameras and always have the best manners, Ruby believed in being good. Respectable. Honorable. So that was what she would be til the very end.
Though she could tell her parents were expecting her to follow a business or political field for schooling, Ruby was constantly drawn to the sciences and the arts. It was what she excelled at and what interested her the most. So when she begged to apply to a liberal arts school, her parents couldnât stand it. The only compromise they could make was to give her a gap year after high school. She would intern at one of her fatherâs business partnerâs companies, and if she still didnât want it after the year was up, she could apply to the colleges she wanted. Ruby accepted.
The year went by without much fuss. Of course she was good at this job, she made sure to be good at everything. But as much as she tried not to disappoint her parents, Ruby never loved the work she was doing. After a long talk, her parents allowed her to apply to the school of her dreams. She got in, and all summer, she was all to excited to start her semester.
But things could never go according to plan. Last month, someone had planned an attack on her family; specifically, one of her older sisters had almost been kidnapped. The Meriwether household was shaken to its core, and advisers recommended they all be sent to schools with tighter security. A family bodyguard (who may or may not be Gallagher alum, and may or may not have noticed Rubyâs advanced intellect) recommended the perfect school, in their very own home state: The Gallagher Academy For Exceptional Young People. The school promised extensive security, and was so elite they didnât even require tuition-- even if they were prepared to bribe their way in. Her parents agreed it was the perfect place to go.
Ruby was devastated she wouldnât be attending her dream school anymore, but her fear knew that this was the smart decision. Besides, from the looks of it, the school offered various classes in culture, languages, and sciences. Something to look forward to at least. The entrance exam was a lot harder than she expected it to be, something more challenging than she was used to, but Ruby passed nonetheless, happy to have something she actually worked for.
It was only after her acceptance that the big surprise really came. The academy was a school for real-life-honest-to-god-actual spies. Spies. Ruby was sworn in to secrecy, promising never to tell  her parents, and is still reeling. While of course a large part of her agrees this is totally cool and badass, itâs also the absolute craziest thing sheâs ever heard. She can barely wrap her head around all of it, but sheâs here now so she might as well make the most of it.
TL;DR - THE FACTS
Ruby is the daughter of the Governor of Virginia and grew up in wealth and a stuffy household
She relies on her smarts to get her through things and prove herself
Had to enroll at Gallagher due to safety issues when one of her sisters was almost kidnapped
Only just learned of Gallagher about a month ago and is way out of her depth on the world of secret intelligence
Sheâs a friendly and sweet person, grew up playing by the rules and always putting on a good face so sheâs a bit of a goody-two-shoes
Has no idea whatâs going on most of the time
Has never really been her own person, so sheâs kind of excited to develop her grit at Gallagher
CONNECTIONS
Grayson Berkshire
Sunny Martin
Caden Lucca, Levi Madden
Miray Tabak, Drew Leung
Claire Walsh, Lari Macedo
Jas Michaud
PJ Yang
Tigs Sousa
Ophelia Spencer
strud out, hmu on discord or on the tumblr dms, iâm down for most anything!
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âNo.â He considered, not once, not twice but multiple times. To tell her that he was leaving and never coming back, that heâll never look back at Gallagher, at his school in Arizona, at the world of espionage. Never to look back at the friends that he made. But he couldnât because Shuo Yang was a coward. He would rather run away than to tell his friends the truth. He couldnât look Martina in the eyes and face her tears, he couldnât look Scott in the eyes and see those puppy dog eyes, and donât get him started on Trinity. He just⌠couldnât do it. P.J. stared down at her hand for a few seconds before looking up at her. He doesnât push her away or pull his arm back, he instead accepted the comfort that her touch gave him. It was nice, he needed it. âItâs justââ He sighed deeply. ââ itâs stupid really. Martina told me that she has feelings for me and Iâ I couldnât answer her.â Didnât reject, didnât return her feelings, just let her with a simple âI donât knowâ.Â
Ruby nodded slowly, holding in a small sigh of slight disappointment. Sheâd never tell P.J. how to move through his life, but she wished he allowed himself the kindness of his friendships. She knew he probably didnât want to burden them with the knowledge of his departure, but Ruby also knew the people that cared about him most would probably want the proper chance to say goodbye, and better yet, would fight to keep him in their lives regardless. But maybe heâd just been through too much this last year, and he need a chance to start over. He wasnât hopeless, she thought, when she took in the way he let her be a friend in this moment at least. Rubyâs brows rose slightly as he explained, though part of her thought maybe she shouldnât have been surprised. âItâs not stupid, and I think you know that,â she said finally, gently. Her tone was careful as she looked at him with kind eyes, asking, âWhat do you feel, P.J.?â
He squints at the screen because he canât really read it, but heâll take her word for it, as always. âI think thatâs as alone as weâll ever get,â he mutters, pulling her closer. âBut Iâm all right with that. Especially since itâs to ensure your safety.â Grayson thinks he can keep her safe on his own, but itâs not something heâs willing to risk, especially while heâs already injured. âI donât want you to get hurt,â he clarifies with a slight smile. âYou can hurt me whenever you want.â Ruby would never do so purposely, which is why heâs so willing to be hurt, because he knows that she wonât and thereâs no actual threat. âIâm just being realistic, Ruby. Itâs a fresh wound, it might bleed sometimes, even from me twisting my shoulder the wrong way. But that doesnât mean anythingâs wrong, Iâm just healing.â He swipes a reassuring kiss across her knuckles before leading herâŚsomewhat onto the dance floor. Grayson still isnât fond of drawing attention to himself, but when he wraps his arm around her waist, itâs easy to forget about the rest of the room. âDo you want to leave after this dance?â
She knows itâs true, and itâs something theyâve both come to accept since the start of the year. She wishes sometimes that she could be normal, that sheâd have met him in another life where their worlds werenât so fraught and they didnât come from families that expected so much of them. But then Ruby remembers that this is the world where sheâd found him, and had fallen in love with every piece of him in it. If this is their life, sheâll happily take it, because somehow, through all this mess, this boy is hers and sheâd never risk the odds of ever losing that. Dreams are nice, but he breathes such loveliness into her reality that Ruby doesnât need them. âGrayson, I donât want to ever hurt you,â she whispers back, a soft hand reaching up to slip delicately against his jaw, her touch slowly more deliberate. Heâs real, and heâs breathing, she thinks silently to herself. Her expression falters just a little bit, and Ruby tries to hear his words as consoling fact, but when she can still picture the way heâd looked with blood soaking through his clothes, itâs hard to keep steady. She gives a small nod to try to acknowledge it, and when his lips graze her hand, something in her longs for more, but sheâll wait until thereâs more privacy. Itâs enough that heâs here, itâs enough that she can hold him and share a dance with the boy she loves. âYeah,â Ruby smiles softly, leaning into his touch, arms moving to rest at his shoulders. âThat sounds like a good idea to me.â
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    â ALRIGHT, YOU WERENâT THAT BAD, â  he smirks slightly, trying to make light of the situation.  â i mean, for you it was pretty surprising. but as far as temper tantrums go, that was a three at best. â  if sheâs looking for him to show the slightest annoyance towards her in order to move on, theyâre going to be here awhile.  â hey, weâre family, â  caden reminds her, when she finally looks up and he can meet her eye.  â i donât know much about the whole sibling thing, but i imagine you and your sisters must fight and say some things you wish you could take back, right ?  itâs like that. you have nothing to be sorry for. â  what he DOESNâT expect is her admission, so quiet that it takes caden a moment to realize what exactly she had said.  â what ? â  thereâs disbelief in his tone, before his eyes cloud over with worry.  â are you alright ?  who hurt you ? â  itâs then that he realizes sheâs come here alone, without her tall, blonde shadow. caden looks around the orchard anxiously, wondering if someoneâs watching them without him knowing.Â
Against all odds, a weak semblance of a laugh escapes her, and she wonders how he can be so casual about it. But then he says family, and her heart squeezes in her chest, frown pressed tight together to keep from crying as she nods in return to him. âYeah,â Ruby answers quietly, voice hoarse. âWeâre family.â She tries to take a steady breath, though itâs hard. She remembers that she hadnât told him everythingâ hell, sheâd barely talked to him in the last month and sheâd tried to play off what had happened in D.C. like it was no big deal. Now she has to explain both what she hadnât before, and how wrong sheâd been. âLast time... in D.C., there was this man who attacked me and Ophelia and P.J., he tried to take her, and I was... I was so convinced it was about Ophelia, I mean he went for her, he grabbed her,â Ruby explained with growing frustration, needing him to understand that she hadnât just been blind. But that intensity leaves her just a quickly to remember where sheâd fit the pieces together incorrectly. âBut I was wrong. It was a mistake. A-And yesterday, I was in Roseville and he came back for me, and Iââ Her words hitched for a second, and she has to take another breath. â...He killed Hughes. And he shot Grayson. And I had his gun in my hands and I... I was going to kill him,â Ruby said weakly, but with no room for error in her voice, clear and absolute even in its fragility. She wears a faraway expression that hardly budges as she recollects the memory and the feeling of it all, though her eyes sting. âI thought things could be so simple... I thought you could just choose to be a good person, and that was it. You do the work, you do the right thing, and you just choose good.â Rubyâs vision blurs. âAnd then I thought this man was going to take away the only the only boy Iâve ever loved, and right or wrong didnât matter anymore, and I put my finger on the trigger, and I swear to god, Caden... I was going to kill him.â Silently, as her head shakes slightly, small tears fall from her lower lashes and she finally looks back to him again. âAnd then I couldnât even do that.â
âNo,â he answered. âI havenât even told her about Oxford.â Guilt washed over him because she deserved to know, all of his friends did. But when he thought of Martina, he thought of red eyes and fake smilesâ he didnât want to make her cry. Not again. âBut even then Oxford has nothing to do with it. Itâs just⌠complicated.â It wasnât.
Ruby had figured as much, but a small sigh escaped her anyway. âAnd youâre not going to tell her,â she said quietly, eyes cast a little bit downwards, not a question, but an observation. She wasnât entirely sure what to do in this situation, even if she had been the one to bring it up. But Ruby knew that she wanted to be there for him, so she placed a gentle hand on his good arm, giving it a light squeeze. âDo you wanna talk about it?â
âIf you thought Levi was freaked out last time Ruby was attacked, multiply that by ten times now. He doesnât know the details of what went on, but itâs easy to tell itâs related to her previous attack, and itâs driving him insane how after the previous one, Gallagher didnât take the necessary precautions to prevent a second one. He drops everything heâs doing the moment he hears of the attack and rushes over to her dorm room, texting her that heâs coming on his way there. When she opens the door to her room, his face at the sight of her bruised face. Heâs relieved that sheâs standing right in front of him, but that doesnât help the panic he feels knowing she was hurt. He pulls her into a hug, pressing a kiss to her forehead. âAre you okay? Christ, thatâs a dumb question. What the fuck happened?âÂ
Thereâs a quiet exhaustion that comes after crying your eyes out that Ruby is becoming all too familiar with. Her breath is tired, eyes a little sore from all the sobbing, and parts of her body still hurt too. Sheâs trying to stretch her right palm out in front of her, the bruises on her knuckles a softer pinkâ sheâs still not that good at punching, clearly. Ruby misses the text when he first sends it, and is only just then looking up from reading it on her phone screen when Levi comes through the door, and Ruby tries her to best not to look so tired for his sake. âCaden was supposed to tell you Iâm fine,â she says lamely and innocently first, and sheâs sure he probably did, but for someone like Levi, she should have known it wouldnât have been enough. âI, um... I messed up, Levi,â Ruby starts quietly, lips scrunching into a tight frown, willing herself not to break from the memory again. If she hadnât spent all her tears on Caden, sheâs sure sheâd be crying now, too, and thought the tears donât come, the aching feeling in her chest does anyway.
thereâs only one person in the world that can make him flinch. besides that, nothing else rattles him. heâll look straight down the barrel of a gun with the same jaded expression and challenge them to pull the trigger. rubyâs not a gun, but she is a gallagher girl. the laughter comes easily regardless. â i think sheâs angry, â he drawls as he steps past hughes ( rip legend ). once heâs outside, he takes his time lighting his cigarette before answering her question. â does it matter? i donât do refunds. â he thinks this is information she could get from her father since theyâre being honest with each other now. â alright, look, iâll cut to the fuckinâ chase, yeah? not sure what you were fuckinâ hopinâ to get out of this, but iâm not sorry for what i did and iâd probably do it again. â
Waiting for him to follow first, Agent Hughesâ expression doesnât move; her job is not to react until necessary, though if she could, there might be an eye-roll for him. Ruby gives him that instead, annoyed beyond belief that heâs really going to have a smoke right now. âYou can spare me another tired rendition of how much of an ass you really are, Tigs, I donât need confirmation that you donât feel remorse,â Ruby spits back, having come to that conclusion herself, unfair or not. âWhat I want is to know everything you know. Who contacted you first, how you found Ophelia, when exactly you told my father. I want to hear it from you,â she demands. Sheâs never been one to exude authority or have the first idea how to take on her title in a position of power. But without meaning to, Ruby begins to adopt the commandeering nature of her father, piercing eyes and strong determination. âSo start talking.â A couple steps to her right, Hughes holds back a small smile.
â âITâS OKAY, I ACTUALLY WASNâT TOO WORRIED ABOUT WHETHER I PASSED YOUR FASHION ASSESSMENT,â claire says, a genuine smile on her lips, â â but thanks. â she knows that rubyâs been having her one sideplot to all the other harrowing insanity going on, but claireâs not the type to treat someone differently because of that. â you look good, too. howâre you doing ? no security detail tonight ? âÂ
âIâm certainly not the expert in the dorm, Iâd defer to Lari,â she comments with a grin, then realizes that none of them really belong to the dorm anymore, and itâs even sadder to think of it now. âThanks,â Ruby repeats, an earnest, prideful smile on her face, somewhat happy to have earned some of her approval this time. âNot while inside the grounds, no. But Iâm managing fine. What about you? Having fun? Excited for tomorrow?â
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    RUBYâS DISTANCE FROM HIM HADNâT BEEN EASY. in a lot of ways, caden had gotten off perhaps TOO easily after the sublevel tapes had been released :  president sutton had protected them, most of his friends didnât react, and noah quite literally told him she loved him. it was only ruby who started to look at him the same way caden had looked at himself this past year, unable to recognize himself after letting his anger and grief get the best of him. so it hadnât been easy, feeling like ruby was slipping more and more away from him each chance he got to talk with her, but he certainly didnât BLAME her either. the fact that sheâs there now is enough, although he couldâve done without the younger girl violently crying into his shirt, making him almost miss the days she was pissed at him. his arms around her tighten, making no effort of letting go of her, now that heâs gotten her back. all he can do is continue to rub her back, smooth down her hair, and shake his head between her sorrys.  â hey, itâs okay, â  he says gently, voice just loud enough to be heard over her sniffs.  â weâre okay, yeah ?  it was⌠iâm sorry you had to find out about it from someone other than me, kid. but you donât have to worry about me. weâre good. i just missed you. â  his lips press together tightly, trying to keep his own emotions in check.  â whatâs going on ? â  he still hasnât forgotten about her face injuries.
Ruby still canât bring herself to look at him, guilt holding her down, and she feels like the child sheâs always feared she is for choosing to stay hidden in an embrace she doesnât deserve. âYou canâtâ You canât just forgive me like that, Caden,â she hiccups. âI was awful to you. I was supposed to be your friend,â Ruby says between the tears, and a part of this refusal to accept it is due to what she knows about herself now. âI missed you too,â she mumbles, and the words make her slowly lift her head up to him, because he needs to know that she means it. âI was...â she starts, staring up at him with wavering eyes, trying to pull at the memory from last night like it can be distilled into once sentence, like it isnât the worst thing sheâs felt in her whole life. And it all comes wrapped in fear and trauma and helplessness and the horrifying certainty that in that moment, Ruby had made a choice sheâd thought she never could. Her breath stills slightly, sobs quieting as she gathers the strength to speak again. â...I almost killed someone yesterday,â Ruby whispers finally, the words barely audible, eyes filled with trembling trepidation to tell him the truth. All that time sheâd spent turning a cold shoulder, angry with him for treating her like she was naive, like she didnât know how the world really worked. And now here she stands, terrified of the way he might look at her, like sheâs the disappointment now, like sheâs exactly the person sheâd made him apologize for becoming. But Caden hadnât held that knife, and despite what had ended up happening, sheâd meant to pull that trigger.
âYeah, I know that. I was just hoping--â that she didnât hear the last part of the conversation. Cheeks redden in embarrassment as he took a long sip from his glass. âIâm being serious, thereâs nothing going on between us. We just said it⌠as friends.â A lie he told but not for his sake but for Martinaâs. Even if Ruby was his friend again, he couldnât bring himself to tell her that Martina had feelings for him. The less people who knew, the better for the younger girl.Â
In another time, she definitely would have made fun of the rosiness starting to color his cheeks, but the two were closer in a new way now, so Ruby did him the kindness of pretending not to see that at least. She took in his words slowly, trying to test them for truth. It wasnât an odd thing to tell your friends you loved themâ she said it to Sunny all the time. But it didnât quite seem like it was exactly that either. âOkay...â she started, trying to take his answer at face value. "So thereâs nothing going on. Is that... because of Oxford?â Ruby lowered her voice slightly as she spoke her question. She didnât think too many people at school knew, and she didnât want to blow up his spot if that was the case.
Martina waved with spirit fingers, tapping a fingernail on her glass to draw attention. Her mother would have killed her if she saw her put her finger against the glass, but she had to alert her friends of her exit somehow! Once she excused herself, Martina rushed to greet Ruby, who she hasnât seen in weeks, certainly not since P.J. checked in and out of the infirmary. âOh my gooooosh, can I hug you?â she asked out of politeness, but she already wrapped her arms around Ruby as if they were close friends. Her concern shone on her face. âWe can talk about my night later. Are you okay? I missed you at the infirmary.â
She would have said yes anyway, despite the bruises hidden under her dress, because Martinaâs presence was that inviting, and so she squeezes back, albeit far gentler. âIâm... fine, itâs all fine,â Ruby said, tacking on the later words a little quickly. She wasnât about to dump all of her own mess onto her, and in the end she was fine. âOh, yeah, it kinda felt like you two needed a moment, I wanted to give you guys some privacy,â she answered truthfully, hoping it didnât put Martina on the spot. Regardless of anything that âwasnât going onâ, Ruby thought Martina and P.J.âs friendship was a close one, and it deserved peace and quiet like any other.
âPerfect timing, then, isnât it?â He says gently. Personally, Grayson does find the end of the school year to be the only bearable time to be at Gallagher. It has nothing to do with the free alcohol, which he canât drink anyway, due to his pain medication. âI hope not.â But heâs trying not to get his hopes up too much, because he wouldnât even blame her parents for wanting her somewhere a little less secluded. One assumes theyâve upped the security detail for Ruby, despite Graysonâs assailant being dealt with. Heâs not the type to assume that one man down means thereâs no longer any threat posed to his girlfriend. âThis will sound hypocritical coming from me, butâŚdonât be too careful.â This could almost be a double entendre if they had gotten that far but lol. âMmâŚI think youâll know if youâve hurt me if you see blood.â Because he canât promise her that; heâs fine with being hurt if it means acting like everythingâs okay, at least for the night.
Ruby nods with a sad smile; she isnât happy that her last memory of the town before summer begins will be one so traumatic, but it doesnât change the fact that sheâll still be coming back in the fall. âHopes answered,â she declares, turning her screen over so he can see the message of approval sent back by her parents. âThereâll be agents on the property, so not totally alone, but good enough for me,â Ruby sighs, slipping her phone into his coat pocket because she hadnât thought to find a dress with pockets of its own. She knows he hasnât spent too much time at her family home in Richmond, save for Thanksgiving, and the following Christmas before January had rolled around and theyâd moved to the White House. Itâll be nice, she thinks, to have the time and privacy to be in her home with only him. No dinners to stress over, no family to worry about pleasing, though theyâd all grown fond of him quicklyâ even more so now that the story of yesterday theyâre privy to still involves his part in saving their daughter. She raises a brow as she glances back over to him. âI mean, it definitely doesnât sound like you,â Ruby says, then a weak, nervous laugh escapes her and she shakes her head at the thought. âGrayson, donât say that,â she protests, squeezing his right hand a little harder, like she needed to be able to feel his heartbeat against her skin.
When he learned of what happened to Ruby and her boyfriend, he was both shock and happy that it was over. That they were safe, hurt but still safe. He couldnât even blame this mess on the world of espionage as it had to do with their original world, politics, of how dirty and evil it was. No matter where they went or decide to do in the future, evil would always be there waiting for them. And P.J. hated it. Glass in hand, he was happy that for tonight only there was no talk about what happened. Instead, Ruby had brought up something that he didnât want to talk about, not with her that is. âYou heard that,â he said with a groan. âThereâs nothing going on.âÂ
âI wasnât trying to eavesdrop, but, I mean, I was sitting right next to you,â she winced, because surely he had to know that. Her brows raised slightly, turning her gaze back to him with a look of incredulity. âThe Shuo Yang says I love you to a girl and thereâs ânothing going onâ?â Ruby asked, finding it hard to believe. Had she ever heard him say I love you to anyone? She doubted it. She had to wonder what it was about Martina that either elicited those feelings from him or made an âI love youâ feel like a casual greeting with him. Both options perplexed her. Ruby pouted as she narrowed her eyes, debating on using the my-boyfriend-almost-died card in hopes of getting her way, though maybe that was pushing it. But thatâs what friends did, right? And as Ruby looked back at P.J., she was happy to think of him as a friend again.
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        "cool.â he nods before tearing his eyes away from it and heading over to another part of the gym, albeit still close by, to drop his things off and get some weights going. while he didnât love the extra pair of eyes in the room, he could appreciate the kind of work they did. after all, it was the field that drew himself was aiming for at this point. but thinking about his future just brought him back to the present. to his friends. to ruby. and how he had been meaning to go see her after he had touched down from the mission, but he backed out. because not even the high of an accomplished mission could ease his mind about approaching ruby after all this time. because ever since election night and his disastrous holidays at home, drewâs more than convinced that he just wasnât the type of person that a first daughter should have as a friend. drew turned back around, having heard ruby speak again. "oh, um, it was..it was good. i..â he cleared his throat; he didnât think words were gonna be this hard to come by. âiâm glad to be back. and to see you again. itâs..itâs been a while.â
Ruby had wanted to say something, but lost her chance again as he turned back to the equipment, and se mentally kicked herself. When Drew came back to the conversation, she was determined this time to see it through. âThatâs good to hear,â she responded genuinely, a softer, somber sort of smile on her face. Ruby nodded once, knowing that it was true, that it had been a good minute since theyâd spent time together, and she knew it was mostly on her, and if she wanted to move forward, she was going to have to admit that, and pray he didnât hate her for it. âI think...â she started, biting her lip as she stared down at his shoes for a moment. âI think thatâs my fault. Iâve been a little distant,â she said, voice quiet. âIâve been... unfair to you, Drew,â Ruby continued, meeting his gaze again with apology in her sad eyes. âAnd Iâm sorry about that, I justâ Iâve been having a hard time lately... trusting some people in my life. And on instinct, I did the same to you, even though you didnât deserve it.â
    IT WAS TOO EARLY TO CATCH ANY GOSSIP AROUND THE SCHOOL ABOUT RUBY. all he knows is that when he had woken up the morning of the last day of his second year, he had a text from ruby, who had thus far not went out of her way to text him since early april. it was early enough in the morning that normally he wouldâve rolled over and fell back asleep, but he was out of his bed before he could even text her back that he was on his way. caden looks more disheveled than usual when he finally makes his way to the cherry blossom orchard, shirt slightly untucked and hair slept on, but itâs easy to forget about his appearance when he catches sight of the youngest meriwether. lips part in surprise, first at the cuts and bruises on her face, and then by the way her face immediately crumbles when she sees him. itâs too early to completely understand whatâs happening, so itâs instinct caden acts on when he takes the final steps to close the distance between them, enveloping her in his arms. all he needed to hear was that she was sorry, not because she has any reason to be, but so he knew itâd be okay to get close to her again without her once again pulling away.  â hey, â  he whispers into her hair on the top of her head, hand rubbing her back lightly, trying to calm her down.  â shh, itâs okay. whateverâs going on, you donât need to apologize. â  itâs hard to be relieved that sheâs talking to him again, when his chest is pounding at the questions beginning to form in his head. but he pushes those away for now, letting ruby take all the time she needs to calm herself down.Â
Itâs immediate, the way that she feels this pure release as soon as his arms wrap around her and it feels like walking into a familiar home all over again, like a beat had never passed where sheâd been pushing him away, and she could still belong in the arms of her older brother. That release open the floodgates, and as much as sheâd tried to prepare herself not to, Ruby begins to sob into the fabric of his shirt as she clings onto him, feeling the warm despair rise in her chest and fall from her eyes. She still feels guilty, like she doesnât deserve the safety she feels with him right now, thinking her apology isnât enough for the way sheâd cast him aside, made him feel unwanted for the decisions heâd made under pressure, under trauma. She thinks of the gun in her hands again, and the choices she tried to make, and the tears continue. âIâm sorry...â Ruby mumbles into his shirt, between light sobs, almost too shameful to lift her head again in the blossoming daylight. âCaden, Iâm sorry, I... Everything I said to youââ she goes on, words muffled and stilted, finding it so hard to get them all out past both her tears and her regret. âI should have been there for you, I should haveâ I-I didnât get it, I got scared and Iâ Iâm so sorry,â she keeps going, unable to stop repeating herself despite his insistence that she doesnât need to apologize.