This is my favorite photo I shot in 2017. It was en route to the first Women’s March in downtown Los Angeles. Its my fellow fourth generation Angeleno best friend, Corissa Joy Viveros and her daughter Aurora relishing in the semi tunnel shut-down. For there is nothing more lovely than simply walking about the city we love; our home. Obviously, 2017 ended up being the Year of the Woman and so many people said that the first women’s march was the best day of their life no matter where they marched. The electricity and love this day was unprecedented in my life. I suppose that’s the first reason this is my favorite. But in between the first and second Women’s March, Corissa had what I have always made believe would never happen, a heart attack. Her heart had 99.9% blockage and she was saved by a feminist surgeon. She had full cardiac arrest in 2009 and I just never wrapped my head around the severity of her beautiful golden ticker....she is the best woman I know. She has Fibromuscular Dysplasia and at any time something grave could go wrong.
It was the worst day of my life. I’ve had lots of worst days but losing my best friend is not something I could tolerate,
That month before the heart-attack, California was on fire and I couldn’t sleep thinking about friends in Calistoga facing down everything they’ve worked for in flames, then earthquakes in my beloved Mexico City and Juchitan, then a massacre in which we lost Manhattan Beach residents....”What do we do Cori....why do these events happen and suddenly everyone is grateful....and then... they forget.”
She said...”All we have is now...and right now and right now” and then she lit a candle for her boy Rocky in the bathtub to teach him about being present.
The next morning, she put the kids on her lap and told them how much she loved them. 45 minutes later she called 911 on herself,
Travis her husband called me and I ran to the cold bathtub to process what he was pragmatically telling me. I slipped. Cori got on the phone and made Big Lebowski jokes. The phone kept breaking up and it felt like a bad dream losing someone in a wind tunnel.
I didn’t want to lose the call. I wanted her to stay on the phone with me forever.
Subsequently, I halted all social media activity. Cori and I talk of missing the 80′s and answering machines. And emergency break-through and crank calls.
Somehow my perception of everything shifted. I checked all my attention seeking motives of the past and started to focus on one on one contact with my family and friends with much more direct communication to everyone. Once you get in the swing of having non-cyber conversations again you never want to go back. I love your faces, I want to see more of you in the flesh.
I mean, I don’t think anyone can understand the kind of human being she is. She is an affectionate, loving, caring, empathetic, brilliant, taste-maker, way ahead of everyone else-- mother, wife and friend. She just has this way with me. I can tell her anything without judgement but she tells me the truth. I take her advice when she delivers because she’s right. I lean into her for all my strength and to go her because that is where the love is. Have you ever read anything she has written? Eloquent is an understatement. She loves dancing, Quintron, camping, tea, laying in the sunshine, gardens, the way light dances, rain, candles, her husband, her kids, her mom, her sister, anyone in her life she loves them authentically.
Cori continues to heal in UCLA based heart classes in which she is on a strict diet, meditates, and exercises her heart plus group discussions. As she continues to get well in the most incredible way (I learned from Julie Rader that if you meditate for just 11 minutes a day you actually grow more prefrontal cortex matter and expand your life expectancy by decades).
I recently joined the Soroptimist Manhattan Beach chapter and we aim to inspire and empower women globally. I am thrilled to be part of it and in 4 months I have found a scholarship for a woman in need, worked a Dream It Be It seminar and have found a powerful place of purpose and service. I wouldn’t have joined had Corissa not discussed with me after the Women’s March finding ways to help the cause...to help young women set boundaries, set smart goals, manage stress and to create a safe and secure work environment.
I’m glad we made to the other side of the tunnel.
I love you Corissa. You are my joy. You are my soul.
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