CERTIFIED LOVER BOY

I’m tired that no matter how much I try or how much I don’t try. I always get the backstabbing end of a relationship. I always get betrayed somehow. I always have to deal with a compromise. My heart is just so numb that when it happens, I have nothing left to say, to give, to feel.

I’m mad because no matter how much I distance myself from it. It seems to be everywhere.

I just want something warm and peaceful.

Where I don’t have to overthink or wonder.

I don’t have to feel that energy that I have felt with so many. That energy that when you with them, you feel the touch of someone else on their body, the smell of lust in their aura, the odour of deceit and lies.

I’m just tired of it. I’m tired that yet again I have to fix my heart, my body, my mind.

When I think about the women I have been intimate with, I cringe inside, my skin aches when I think that someone else, felt them the same way I had. My heart hurts when I realise that’s what happened while my soul was connected to theirs.