God. I wanted to do more for artfight. I was so excited for this year but for some reason I couldn't focus on anything. I'm genuinely so incredibly sad
#yet another failure on my part yipee#every time I sat down to draw all I would think about is well what's the point#this depression shit fucking sucks it hasn't been this bad in six years#so why all of a sudden does it feel like I could disappear and no one would notice#I fucking hate everything and myself#not rlly I just wish I didn't feel this way#wish I didn't feel so forgettable and replaceable#wish I didn't feel like everyone's afterthought#I want to feel chosen. not just tolerated#I have been ok with being alone for like two years so idk why past few months it's been eating me up inside#sigh#delete later#I feel so empty every day all the time#and I do not have insurance so that means no therapist#so I guess I'll just bitch and moan on the Internet til I eventually kill myself over it#not rlly though but it's defs a struggle to do anything anymore when it feels like it's all pointless#god...
