weird & gross things ahead. be forewarned. ♡

♡ here for my writing about toby ? click the heart ! it's where allll my toby stuff is -> ‪‪❤︎‬

♡ curious about me purrsonally? try these ↓

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"For you! Cream and sugars in the bag. I dunno how you take yours, so."

If he'd been normal, he would've offered a chipper, "thanks!" or even just a small smile in return. He could only stare at her, half dumbfounded. No one had ever brought him coffee before.

He nodded his head slightly in acknowledgement, fingers gently grazing hers as he took the cup from her. They were so cold in contrast to the hot contents within the foam cup. Maybe just about as cold as his.

He suppressed the small shudder that threatened to rush through his body. She must have noticed anyway.

"Sorry, I know I have cold hands! Poor circulation. Super annoying. Sometimes they turn white if I dont keep them warm! Creepy stuff," she absentmindedly babbles, wiggling her fingers at him, then turning on her heel to leave the little bag of cream and sugar on the nearby break room counter, "See you later, Law!"

He stared at the empty doorway where she was occupying space only a few moments ago, just holding the cup.

He thinks that was maybe the first moment he really became infatuated with her. Ridiculous.

They started talking more after that.

She had a wonderful habit of oversharing. She wasn't loud and overbearing about it like a lot of the other employees were, though. When she did it, it was soft, giddy, and gentle—as if she were telling a secret— like a teenage girl spilling her guts to her closest friends at a slumber party while her parents are asleep in the next room. He liked how much empty air she could fill and make up for how little he usually had to say.

So he was thrown off when she showed up to work one day acting...different. Distant. Gloomy. Co-workers came and went, asking her what was wrong, but she offered nothing.

Until it came to Lawrence.

He must've spent about an hour figuring out the right thing to say to her.

"Are you feeling ok?"

That was good enough, right? Yeah. Probably.

It must've been, because right away, she seemed to perk up a little bit. Eyes flicking up to meet his, twinkling a bit at being offered the opportunity to overshare once again. Particularly to him. It was out of character for him to initiate something like this, it made her feel sort of special.

"Oh, yeah, I'm okay...just...relationship stuff."

Something made him jump at the opportunity presented to him. So incredibly unlike him, but she was just so...different from everyone else he interacted with. She deserved more out of him.

So he offered.

"Do you...need to talk about it?"

She hesitated, biting her lip, thinking before she gave her answer, "Kinda...but...maybe later after work?"

Nothing could've prepared Lawrence for the talk he was in for. The anticipation had been eating away at him for most of the day. He'd known that she was already taken. Sometimes the thought would pop into his head, nagging at him as if there was anything he could do about it. As if he had any right to interfere with something like that. As if he deserved her.

The work day seemed to drag on forever. When it finally came to an end, she stood across from him in an empty room, pacing back and forth.

"My boyfriend- well, my ex now, I guess...he's just so dramatic...I have this..." she paused and then sighed, "This is definitely TMI but I have this strange way about myself...whenever we're...you know...doing it...he always tells me I'm too still and quiet, like some kind of lifesize doll or a...a corpse or something, and it makes him uncomfortable...and I guess my explanation wasn't good enough for him! I tried explaining that sometimes I'm just...shy. I like to do all that stuff by myself...in quiet...in private. It's just the way I am, it's what I'm used to...and, I don't know, maybe if he was better at whatever he was trying to do then I'd be a little more vocal..." she trailed off, snapping out of her long drawn out rambling nonsense. Immediately taking notice of the way Lawrence had been staring at her while she was giving her little spiel.

His eyes seemed like they were the size of dinner plates. Pupils blown wide. Lips pressed together in a tight line. Chest heaving quietly. She watched him swallow hard.

He felt lightheaded. Dizzy.

Her apology game quick, shame and regret beginning to bubble up inside her, "I'm sorry, that was probably way too much information...it's just...I don't know, I didn't want to talk to anyone else about it. You have this way about you, you're so peaceful to be around...very quiet and grounded and steady...I like talking to you, and I like how you liste-"

His brain was working overtime to process everything, trying to figure out what to say, but he was left with nothing. No idea what to do. So he just stood up, and rushed off, muttering a strangled apology as he brushed past her, leaving her standing there alone in defeaning silence. Left with nothing but her thoughts and complete embarrassment.

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Home. Curled up in her bed, face damp with tears. She felt miserable. Humiliated. Disgusting. She probably would've been better off venting her frustration to a female coworker, but...something about Lawrence. She just wanted to tell him everything. Maybe it's because he seemed like a nice guy, and she always sort of fancied him. Maybe she was just crazy.

Her soft weeping and shaky breaths were interrupted by her phone buzzing next to her head. She picked it up and turned it on.

Law: "I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know why I just left."

She bit her lower lip, resisting the urge to start sobbing again as she answered his message.

"it's ok, i know it was probably too personal, i shouldn't have dumped that on you."

His response came quick.

Law: "No, it's not that."

Then another.

Law: "Do you want to come over?"

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"I can't believe I've never been here before..." She spoke tenderly, still coming down from the dizzying high of feeling ashamed, "I feel like I've known you forever, but we only ever hang out at work."

Lawrence watched her tenderly, patiently, as she sipped the tea he made for her. She'd been taking it down, little by little.

Unknowing.

He nods, swallowing thickly, "Y-yeah."

She tilts her head at him, blinking slow, lashes fluttering like she's starting to feel a bit dazed.

"Law...I'm sorry I told you all that stuff...I know you said it was fine, but it was just so...so much," She shakes her head slightly, looking down into her nearly empty cup, "I think I tend to overshare sometimes...But I can't help it, there's just something about you, this...soft, unusual presence about yourself...I can't quite put my finger on it, but..."

She takes a slow, steady breath, deep in her belly, and she exhales like she's finally letting go of something. Then she looks up at him again.

"Sometimes I just feel like I have no clue what I'm doing. It's like I feel so...tired of all this...taking care of myself...taking care of anything..." She sighs, shallow this time, "I don't know what'm saying..."

He'd never heard anything like this from her before. He hardly expected it, either. Not from the girl who always seemed so chipper, like she had her life together completely. But his heart fluttered at the thought. She did need this. She did want this. Maybe she really was meant for him.

Her lashes flutter a bit more, eyes fighting to stay open. But she feels so exhausted. Each time she blinks, she falls into a little micro-dream. Short glances into a different reality.

Lawrence watches her, saying nothing, eyes trained on her like he's anticipating something.

Minutes pass before she finally speaks again, but to her it only feels like a few moments.

"You're a rlly good lissner," she slurs, eyes crossing as she slumps back, teacup rolling out of her limp fingers and landing on the rug beneath her with a soft thud.

He hurriedly stands up, walking over to her and crouching down in front of her, his shaky hand gently touching her bare arm as he watches her starting to fall in and out of consciousness.

"Lawrence?" She breathes out with a soft whine, her own hand weakly reaching out to touch him, but failing.

He still says nothing, his heartbeat thumping wildly against his chest from excitement. Suspense.

"Why'm I so...sleepy...?"

He shushes her softly, and his voice wavers as he finally speaks, "I'm going to take care of you now...You don't need to worry about anything...okay?"

Her eyes start to water. Fear. Comfort. Bliss.

"C'n I kiss you?" She meekly asks.

His breath hitches, watching the way her eyes close and lips gently part.