BabuLife

You know, I’m not feeling too great. The goodbye that I shared with my mom was pretty heart-wrenching, it kind of made me doubt everything. But you know what, I really need this. This is for my mental health, for developing healthy relationships, and for my independence.

Okay this cereal is the devil of all cereals. It draws you in with promise of 8g of fiber per serving BUT PUNCHES YOU IN THE FACE WITH SUGAR OVERLOAD. I admit it was my fault for not thoroughly reading the nutrition content (my eyes naturally gravitate towards saturated fat content) but holyyyy shitttttt. Everytime I eat a bowl of cereal I get an instant sugar rush - I feel like I just drank a cup of coffee, which I gave up b/c my body can’t handle the caffeine rush. The sad part is that I’m so poor that I don’t want to throw it away and buy a different cereal T_T I have to suffer through this for another week until it’s all gone. Maybe I can pawn off the cereal onto Alexis... because it’s so sugary that I can’t imagine little kids not liking it.

OH AND ANOTHER THING. THIS CEREAL IS MADE OF ROCKS. IT’S SO FREAKING CRUNCHY. I FOUND A PIECE IN IT THAT WAS UNCHEWABLE. I COULDN’T EVEN SMASH IT WITH A KNIFE. 

Derived from the word “famulus,” a word of unknown origin, meaning “servant, slave.”

Also derived from “famulus”, “familiaris” meaning “close friend.”

In the overall scheme of things, rain is good for California because of the drought and stuff (a REALLY good thing). BUT, why does it have to super intense rain??? These storms really prevent me from going to see Steven ugh. 

You might say “Well, why doesn’t Steven drive to you?” Because I don’t like hanging out in Long Beach. The OC is where it’s at for us.

Flamin Hot Cheetos XXX

Sushi

Cake (vanilla cake, not chocolate!)

Ice Cream

Blaze Pizza

Taco Bell - I really wanna try the Naked Chicken Chalup b/c my sister said that her friend said it was reeaaaaaaaally good.

Souplantation

All things I can’t have.. due to my high cholesterol. I might cave in and get the flamin hot cheetos later this week.. but we’ll see :) My laziness is an advantage in this situation b/c I don’t always feel like walking to the store.

Uhhhhh.

I wanted to write something but I’m way too tired to think of a subject for this blog post.... so here’s my stream of consciousness.

My sister and her husband(it’s weird not saying boyfriend) are visiting. My mom is trying to move forward with a business-as-usual approach for our relationship *cue eye roll* (It’s about to get real tough for her). Career building is very, very, very, difficult. I don’t like working out in the morning, it leaves me with no energy at night. I got free Halal Guys today--which is a good thing because if I paid the $10 for sauceless meat I would’ve been very disappointed.

Here are some pictures.

Can you guess which Halal Guys platter was mine?

Just before Steven and I went to Mexico, I got my blood drawn for a physical... which I have not had done since I was in 5th grade. As a little 5th grader I was told that I had high cholesterol. That meant no more fast food, no more ice cream, basically no more of anything GOOD (good to a 10 year old). 10 year old me was devastated. As a 22 year old adult, I was told that I had high cholesterol for the second time in my life. 22 year old me was excited. Why was I excited? Because it meant that I was given a chance to work on myself. 

It was a long time coming, really, I knew I wasn’t healthy and that my college eating habits had caught up to me, resulting in chest pains, short of breath, and overall feeling shitty. For the past two years my self esteem was really low (it still is but whatever). I knew my belly was bigger than ever, and when I looked in pictures of myself, I saw a very round Nido. I was constantly doubting my worth and scared that I wasn’t attractive enough for my boyfriend. I felt all of these negative things, but now I’m ready to change.

I’ve been going to the gym for the past month. Today Diane and I worked out arms (personal note: I used 10 pound weights for the overhead thingy and I used 5 pounds for the exercise that gave me a cramp that one time). OMGG ARMS ARE SO DIFFICULT. My triceps are so weak, it’s difficult for me to type this right now b/c I’m already feeling sore. Even though I’m sore and aching, I feel super healthy :) Thank god for Diane and her Crunch gym pass!

I have sung those lyrics around my house for about the past 5 days. If anyone wants to understand how I’m feeling at this point in my life, look up the lyrics to Defying Gravity. It is so very accurate. 

Here it is, #freevanida. The social movement that’s happening in my mind. I didn’t even realize that it coincides with #freemelania, I’m not trying to be relevant or funny, these are just the two words that I immediately thought of when I decided to move out of my house.

Moving out of my house is NOT easy. Physically, yes. I just need to pack up my things and put them in another place. Emotionally, I have to undo the rusty chains that tether me to this godforsaken guilt-ridden hellhole. I have two months to emotionally prepare me for the freedom that will flood into my life. That honestly is way too long. I think it’s better to “rip the bandaid” in this kind of situation. Sadly, I’m too good of a person to abandon my daughter duties in my dad’s time of need. (Do you know what I’m talking about? IDC.)

#FREEVANIDA.