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1st day of freedom. Visited CAO, planned my budget, went grocery shopping (I bought a 10 lb bag of potatoes omg?), and ate dinner.
You know, I’m not feeling too great. The goodbye that I shared with my mom was pretty heart-wrenching, it kind of made me doubt everything. But you know what, I really need this. This is for my mental health, for developing healthy relationships, and for my independence.
Mep.
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So, I cut my hair. This is the shortest I've ever had it! The goal was to look like Constance Wu, but the haircut lady didn't want to cut my hair that short, she was very skeptical so...I settled on this length. To be honest? I think in about a month I'm going to get it cut again even SHORTER. I wanted to make a statement god dammit! If my grandma & aunt didn't notice I had a haircut, that means it's not short enough. (It's still super cute and very lightweight) Life update: it's a little over a week until I move out. Up until this point I was very ready to leave, but now I'm feeling very anxious. I feel like it's because I'm going to be alone - no parents, no steven, not even any roommates (bc everyone will be home for spring break). I hope I have the strength to get through this mentally sound!
Kashi Go Lean Crunch
Okay this cereal is the devil of all cereals. It draws you in with promise of 8g of fiber per serving BUT PUNCHES YOU IN THE FACE WITH SUGAR OVERLOAD. I admit it was my fault for not thoroughly reading the nutrition content (my eyes naturally gravitate towards saturated fat content) but holyyyy shitttttt. Everytime I eat a bowl of cereal I get an instant sugar rush - I feel like I just drank a cup of coffee, which I gave up b/c my body can’t handle the caffeine rush. The sad part is that I’m so poor that I don’t want to throw it away and buy a different cereal T_T I have to suffer through this for another week until it’s all gone. Maybe I can pawn off the cereal onto Alexis... because it’s so sugary that I can’t imagine little kids not liking it.
OH AND ANOTHER THING. THIS CEREAL IS MADE OF ROCKS. IT’S SO FREAKING CRUNCHY. I FOUND A PIECE IN IT THAT WAS UNCHEWABLE. I COULDN’T EVEN SMASH IT WITH A KNIFE.
Fuck this fucking cereal.
S/o to Diane for getting accepted to nursing school! So proud of her 😍 Also very grateful that she’s one of my supports (and workout buddy) during this difficult period in my life. It’s always good to have life long friends like these ❤
family (n.)
Derived from the word “famulus,” a word of unknown origin, meaning “servant, slave.”
Also derived from “famulus”, “familiaris” meaning “close friend.”
Slave or friend? Which meaning define your relationships the most?
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I used to think that all I needed was Steven to make me happy. "I just need to save up, move out, and live with Steven. That's IT." It's never that simple. I know now that I can't lean on one person all the time. I move out of my house April 1st. I'm on the verge of losing everything familiar. Steven won't be there to hold my hand, he's going to be in Japan. I can do this, I can do this, I CAN DO THIS.
A list of my current cravings
Flamin Hot Cheetos XXX
Sushi
Cake (vanilla cake, not chocolate!)
Ice Cream
Blaze Pizza
Taco Bell - I really wanna try the Naked Chicken Chalup b/c my sister said that her friend said it was reeaaaaaaaally good.
Souplantation
All things I can’t have.. due to my high cholesterol. I might cave in and get the flamin hot cheetos later this week.. but we’ll see :) My laziness is an advantage in this situation b/c I don’t always feel like walking to the store.
*I took a break in searching for jobs lately because of recent events that took an emotional toll on me. I’m sure I’ll get back in the groove of things next week.
Uh
Uhhhhh.
I wanted to write something but I’m way too tired to think of a subject for this blog post.... so here’s my stream of consciousness.
My sister and her husband(it’s weird not saying boyfriend) are visiting. My mom is trying to move forward with a business-as-usual approach for our relationship *cue eye roll* (It’s about to get real tough for her). Career building is very, very, very, difficult. I don’t like working out in the morning, it leaves me with no energy at night. I got free Halal Guys today--which is a good thing because if I paid the $10 for sauceless meat I would’ve been very disappointed.
Here are some pictures.
Can you guess which Halal Guys platter was mine?
Ok, Vanida. I think you can do a better Tumblr post tmrw, but for now, I know you’re freaking exhausted.
