marianna

• academic comeback at uni

• job I applied for

• moving with my bf and creating our dream apartment

• gym progress and losing 5kg

From a young age, we're told that everyone is different and special. We're taught that there's no one else in the world like us. Therefore, growing up, especially as teenagers, we believe that no one understands us and that we're on our own. The truth is, each of us is unique. We have our own personality, which, even if it resembles someone we know, is based on our unique experience. Everyone views work in their own way, understands it, and approaches it differently.

However, the older I get and the more people I meet, the more I realize that we're not all that different. This might be hard to swallow, but to some extent, we're all replaceable. Of course, no one can be literally replaced, but that sentence has a certain depth to it. So why do I mention it?

Reason number one is the ongoing 'cool girl' olympics. We have a constant need to stand out from others, especially other girls. I'm not talking about the 'pick me' stereotype, but about the inner need to feel like we look more original, think more maturely, and do better than everyone else. We constantly feel the need to project this cool persona that people envy. Maybe some of us don't admit it, but we all do it to some extent. When you start to realize that you're not that special or different from others, you can lose a little. Of course, the need to be special never goes away, but it stops consuming you. It's easier to connect with people and build a good circle of friends when you're not working day in and day out.

The second reason is that it helps you move on. Unfortunately, people come and go. That one guy you meet at 16 isn't the love of your life. It doesn't matter if you and that one friend don't talk anymore because you've gone your separate ways. It doesn't matter if you move on. During a heartbreak, you might feel like there's no one else like that person for you and you'll be left alone. But there will be someone who understands you like that 'one and only' does. Maybe that random girl you befriend at work will be your saving grace, or she'll disappear, like your high school friends. Eventually, you'll find your loved ones, and you won't be lonely just because you stopped talking to someone.

Over the past few years, there's been a lively discussion about creating a safe space, prioritizing peace, and so on. I believe there's a grain of truth and goodness in this approach. Taking care of your well-being and setting boundaries is paramount. Understanding what makes you comfortable and creating a safe space for yourself to return to when things get overwhelming is truly wonderful, and I've personally applied it to my own life.

However, I've noticed that we push this idea of ​​maintaining peace to its limits. Creating a safe environment has led us to stop stepping outside our comfort zones. Every inconvenience becomes a trigger, and we feel the need to stop socializing. Being alone in public feels like a nightmare. We've stopped having casual conversations with strangers, meeting friends, going out, and doing things alone.

Sometimes forcing ourselves to do things that aren't quite what we want at the moment can be the best solution. Going out with a friend when we don't feel like it, going to the park alone, spending time with mom at the mall. Even if these situations seem scary at first, they can turn into wonderful experiences. Meeting up with a friend and having a good laugh, spending time alone outside the bedroom, appreciating time with family, these all give us a ton of new energy. Forcing ourselves to socialize is really important because it's easy to get stuck in a bubble.

less is more:

Using less, but good quality products is so much better than putting 1009 products on your face every morning and night. I’m only using hydrating products, that don’t irritate my skin barrier.

not scrubbing your face:

Using a genital cleanser only at night and washing your face with just water in the morning is so much better!! I only use delicate face scrub once a week to deep cleans. I also stoped using micellar water and only use cleansing balm to remove my makeup. That was one of the best decisions I made, because I stopped scrubbing my face with cotton puds.

face mask once a week:

I’m gonne be honest, using a good face mask once a week really made difference for me. My skin is so much healthier since I start doing it.

drinking water:

It really helps to give you this nice glow on your face.

eating carrots:

Eating clean is of course great for your skin, but carrots especially. It gives you this nice glow and tan you a little bit.

stop touching your face:

I spend last weekend at festival with my friends and I had so much fun. However duo to not sleeping at all, drinking and eating poorly, I’m so tired now. So here are some things I do to recover from whole weekend of being out and partying :)

• I let myself sleep in. I’m an early bird, however after whole weekend of sleeping poorly I let myself sleep as much as my body wants.

• I try to eat as much vegetables as I can. After eating junk food, my body needs extra healthy food.

• DRINK WATER!! I try to always have my water bottle with myself and drink it.

• Do light workout. I notice I feel so much better after I stretch or do light workout.

The most important love in life is self-love. I noticed I had fallen into a pattern of expecting someone to love me exactly how I imagined. And while you should always have your own expectations and standards, you can't expect someone to show love the way you imagine. Everyone has a different story, different role models in their life. Loving someone isn't about playing the perfect couple, friend, or anything else. It's about showing them that you truly care and that you do things differently. I'm not saying you have to lower your standards or accept everything around you. But you do have to stop fantasizing about a perfect fairy tale.

The key to stopping feeling disappointed is showing yourself the love you think is ideal. To build mature relationships in life, you need to enjoy yourself and love yourself. You don't have to be 100% cured to start building deep connections with others, but you do need to take care of yourself. It's important to love yourself so that when someone disrespects you, you have the courage to walk away. Taking care of yourself, appreciating yourself, and being aware of your flaws, but also your strengths, are the foundations for building love for yourself and others in your life. Invite yourself on a romantic date, take care of yourself when you're feeling down, and do what you consider ideal. When you build this kind of relationship with yourself, it will be easier to understand and appreciate the love others give you. You'll notice that certain actions are a way for someone to say "I love you" or "I care about you."

I'm currently working on maintaining healthy habits when I feel tired and unmotivated. I'm realizing how important it is to give it my all on tough days. A lighter exercise, cooking a simple but still healthier meal, or reading just 10 pages of a book are still better than giving it up. Maintaining a habit isn't about consistently doing 100% of what you're capable of, but about adapting the habit to what you can do that day. Sometimes the mindset of a successful person isn't about being the best, but about making compromises.

list of substitutes I try to use on harder days:

• gym workout —> stretching, 20 min workout at home

• making creative healthy meal —> making a healthier meal I’ve made before that it’s easy to make

• reading whole chapter —> reading 5-15 pages

• healthy mindset

• dream body

• educating myself

• having good habits