I don’t know how much longer I can carry them ...
I’m sprawled on our bed. My skin feels like it might split if I breathe too deep - so tight, so raw. I look unreal. Hugely, horribly full. My belly heavy enough that it drags everything - my posture, my breath, my thoughts - down with it. I can’t lie flat. Can’t sit upright. Can’t think. Every inch of me aches.
He leans in the doorway like he’s admiring a sculpture, arms crossed, eyes trailing over every exaggerated curve. There’s something in his stare that makes my throat tighten.
“They're growing bigger again,” he says. There’s no concern in his voice, just fascination.
I try to speak, but my voice comes out weak and cracked. “I can’t … I need it to be over. Please ...”
He walks slowly to the bed, dragging his fingers lightly over the stretched dome of my belly. I flinch. My skin’s too sensitive- every touch sends a jolt through me. The babies squirm at the contact and I groan, overwhelmed.
“You say that every day”, he says, crouching beside me. “But you’re still here. Still carrying them.”
I shake my head. My hands press into the underside of my belly, as if I can hold up even a fraction of its weight. “I’m not strong enough. Please, something’s wrong. They should’ve come by now -”
He cuts me off with a laugh, low and cold. His hand splays across the widest curve of my belly. I feel trapped. His voice drops lower, softer - but not gentle. “You have no idea what it does to me, seeing you like this. So full. So helpless.”
Tears sting my eyes. “I’m not trying to be helpless,” I whisper.
“I know,” he says. “That’s what makes it even better.”
He climbs onto the bed beside me, slowly, like he’s trying not to jostle me, but his weight still shifts mine, and my back spasms in protest. I gasp, one hand flying to my side. The pressure never stops. The babies are rolling again. It’s too much. I’m too full. I can’t take another day, and he just … watches.
“You want them out?” He asks, voice soft, mockingly sympathetic. “You want it to end?”
I nod furiously, desperate. “Yes. Please.”
He leans in close, brushing his lips against my ear. “But you’re so much more… mine like this.”
I freeze. My heart thuds painfully under the pressure. He wraps an arm around me, fingers stroking the overfilled belly like it belongs to him. Maybe it does. Maybe I do, now.
“You’ll go into labor when you’re ready,” he whispers. “And I don’t think you are. Not yet.”
I want to argue, but the weight of everything is too much. My belly shifts again, unbearably tight. My whole body aches from the inside out. And he just holds me there, like this is exactly how he wants me: Pinned beneath the weight of life I can’t release, and too tired to fight anymore.