azra

Azra couldn’t fault Amelia for her bluntness. After all, she was right. Even Azra knew that if people hated her that it meant somewhere they still cared. No one really cared about her. Whether she was here or somewhere else, it didn’t matter to these people. Didn’t really matter to anyone. She was ready to grab her bag and leave, not wanting to have this conversation or any conversation really, when she was stopped. Suddenly face to face with her roommate. “No offense Amelia, but I would rather drown in a bathtub full of spiders than sit here and talk about what I’m going through.” That was an understatement, to say the least. “You’re a sweet girl, ya don’t need me.” She paused, cracking a half smile, “Like ya said, no one gives a fuck about me. Don’t have to pretend you’re not part of that no one.” Pulling away from the physical contact, she picked up her bag and threw it over her shoulder, “I ain’t mad at ya. Just... don’t wanna be here.”

“It’s not even about you,” Azra replied, shoving more clothes in her bag. “Yeah, we fought. Big fucking deal, everyone in this town hates me what’s one more person doing the same?” Grabbing her hair brush and some other items, “I’m not leaving, I’m just staying with my parents for awhile until i figure out what I’m doing here.” Kneeling down next to her bed, she lifted the mattress, grabbing the baggy of xanax she had bought off Slug and tossing that in her bag, noting in her head that she needed to contact him again soon. “I’ll pay rent, whether I stay in Frostford or not. I signed a lease, I know that. Okay? You’re covered.” 

Azra’s life was spiraling, to say the least. She thought that coming back to Frostford, running from things and people she had gotten herself into back in NC, only to be confronted almost immediately by what had started everything. A drunken night with a boy. Now? She wasn’t sure what to do. Did she stay? Did she go back to NC? Did she pack up and disappear to someplace no one knew who she was? Truthfully she just wished the fates would decide for her, take her out. Maybe that’s how she found herself fighting with the only friend she had in the town and then later that night practically begging a police officer to shoot her. Ever since she hadn’t left her bedroom at her parents house. Until this moment, where she hoped no one would be home and she could slip in and grab some clothing and slip back out. That wasn’t the case. Almost immediately she was confronted with Amelia. She expected another argument, she had no energy for one but she was ready to if needed. Confusion crossed her face before she forced it back to neutrality. Emotion was weakness.  “I’ve been staying at my parents,” she stated, plainly, making her way towards her bedroom, “If I was dead you would have heard about it. No need to worry, either way.” Slipping into her room, she grabbed her gym bag and started to throw some things in there.

Azra had been back for about a month now and there was only one thing that she was certain of: coming back was a mistake. Whoever and whatever she was running from back at Duke, was far better in her mind than the small town she grew up in. Currently, she found herself held up in her childhood bedroom, one that since being here she had already tossed all of her trophies and ribbons and leotards into several boxes in the corner. She had an apartment, but she couldn’t go back to it right now. Not after she fought with Amelia and then later that night practically begged an officer to shoot her after she trashed her own car. She was losing it, that’s for sure. She had been at home for a few days now, only coming out to use the bathroom and certainly not answer any of her parents questions. The knock on her bedroom door caused her to jump in bed. It was probably mom or dad again. No one else knew she was here. Opening the door, she was ready to say that she didn’t want to speak, but she saw Nadia there instead. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “How did you-” she stopped groaning, “Mom called. I’m fine. She’s being dramatic.” 

“Okay, but it’s your life, not hers.” 

“How the hell does one feel like a disco ball?”

“No. If you don’t have time to think through whether you should get a dog, then you shouldn’t get one.”

“I can pay for my own damn pizza. Do I look like a charity case to you?”

“I don’t really watch TV,” she shrugged. The counter from Hazel was annoying, to say the least. She’d only seen Stick It because it was required as a team bonding thing back at Duke when she first got there. Thinking back to her childhood, the only thing that she loved that came to mind was dancing to High School Musical with Nadia. Even if Nadia only did it because Azra wanted her to. Shaking her head, “Nah, not really. No judgment here though.” 

“Um, kinda, I guess? Just grew up training and competing as a gymnast. The coaches and nutritionists kinda jam that shit down your throat every second of the day. Guess it helps for useless trivia nights too. Hope it works out for you so you stop falling asleep in random places.”

“I had to take a year or two off because of my injury-” her pregnancy, “so I’m just starting to get back into a gym for fun. Nothing competition worthy or exciting to see,” she shrugged.  

Azra tilted her head to the side, staring over at Andy before laughing, “It sounds like you care about this dude, not gonna lie. If he seriously injures himself around here that’s on him. I’ve been hiding out since I was like... 11? 12? Even i know this isn’t a place to bring my anger into.” Boy, did Azra have a lot of pent up anger too. Who knew her tiny body could hold so much. “How much longer do you have before you close up? I would like to go get drunk with you now that I’m legally able to and all that jazz.” 

Of fucking course someone called it in. No one can keep their nose in their own damn business in this town. The idea of someone seeing her and calling the cops made her laugh. Her head moved to look at the houses around, wondering who it might be that called before she landed back on Leah. Laughing more, “What are you gonna shoot me if I don’t put it down? Do it. I dare you. Aim to kill. Fucking do it.” 

“Yeah, no. That all sounds like bullshit to me. They’re just rocks.” 

“It is a tad... off putting, but don’t worry. They sound like a dick.”