it's a lie that you're living

I guess that leaves me to be Adele and write a bunch of songs about how you broke my poor little heart. Because we both know I’m far too talented to be Taylor Swift. I’m trying to set the scene, Jim; keep the romance alive and ─ fuck I can’t keep a straight face.

How ‘bout I be the John Mayer to your Taylor Swift? We’re too young to be breaking up over flip phones in sepia-colored music videos. You’re practically her brother, anyway. It’s pretty obvious you’re a bit bent, anyway. No need for facades. The frosted tips give you away.

Unconditional anything is fiction with the express purpose of making money off of teenage girls; you’re clearly a true romantic however. I didn’t realize we were exchanging gifts and I’ve shown up empty handed ─ forgive me but I’m sure I can find a way to make it up to you.

I’m the one who gets to make the love story memorable, I’ll live with the bad guy title. Go on, then. Time’s wasting, and you know I’m not patient.

Indubitably. I know, if I was a ray of sunshine you’d get bored so fast and catering to your desires is obviously my main purpose in life. Uh huh, so that adorable little tweet you made was for my benefit then? Must be why he’s the man upstairs.

Unconditional happiness is overrated, I always get the urge to ruin it. Like I said, everything I do is with your best interest at heart. Consider it an early Christmas gift. Nobody wants to be around him.

A boy scout is always prepared. Oh I can’t tell you all of my secrets so soon, ruins the allure. Nah, God is a little too rough when I have shit to do the next day. You’ll do for now though.

In all ways? You’re right, your dark and mysterious vibe is really what draws me in. I’d hate to fuck that up. I know when and when not to make my presence known. You want something to show off, you’ll have something to show off. God gets greedy. Terrible guy, really.

Your parents really hit the jackpot then. I’ll become a member of the Allen family by hard work, consistency, and determination; not by changing my name to Rianon. What do you mean consequence? I answer only to God. So, you know, I’m going to hell in a handbasket.

They work hard. Look at you, setting forth a game plan. Tell me more about how you plan to weasel your way into my family, it’s hot. You like the way God’s hand fits around your throat? Naughty, naughty.

Not everyone can have such original names as James and Nate okay. So forgetful in your haste to get to me; I’ll forgive you this time but don’t push it or I’m telling the counselor.

The richer and more douche baggy they sound, the better. Add a few extra letters to the end of your name, and you can become an honorary member of the Allen family. I’ll work on it for next time-- scout’s honor. So, what’s the consequence of you coming out here?

Nah, Poppy knows I’m the superior Reynolds. Booty call? And here I thought this was a love connection.

Poppy and Rian. Those go together horribly. I left your ring back in New York, too. I didn’t want to let you down. I’d say forgive me again, but then I’d feel like I was taking advantage of you.

I truly feel special now, thanks boo. Since when did you become a doctor? I’m touched that you’re worried about my well being, truly. Guess absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I’m not called Saint James for my innocence. Anything to one-up Nate. You know how it goes, good old sibling rivalry. Your well being has always been my primary concern, who else do I fly across two continents for just to be a booty call?

And the rich get richer. Yes, I’ve really grown on an emotional level. I’m like ─ Oprah. I get these tingles in my fingers and toes and sometimes my eyes even get a little watery.

All for you, Velma. Ibizia villas don’t pay for themselves. That sounds a bit stroke-like, you should try something a bit less life ending and a bit more exciting.

See, feeling better already. Way I hear it, it takes a lot less than that. You did fuck Jax, after all and he’s the laziest person I’ve ever met. You know I love the pain.

Fucking Jax was like a favor-- James’ Miracle Network. Charity comes out of your tax refund, anyway. You’re capable of love now? These months apart have changed you, tell me all about it. Does your heart get all warm?

And now you use my actual name? You must be sick. Should go straight to bed and rest up before you tell me just how dashing I look in a suit. I’m worse at squats actually but I’ll see what I can do.

Sorry, I meant Princess Peach. Forgive me? It’s gonna take a little more than that to bed me, you’re better than that. We’ll wait on the squats, I wouldn’t want you to be all sore so soon.

You’ve had how long to come up with some sort of derogatory statement and the best you can come up with is Chicken Little? ─ Sad.

I left my diary full of Rian insults back at school. Trust me, I’m just as disappointed as you are. Try something embarrassing-- like a push up. Help me jog my memory.

(« @ayjames »)

……..what?

Nothing, just admiring the view. I really like this Chicken Little look you’re going for. The glasses and the ten foot tall hair really make your eyes pop.

Please, only idiots tackle the kicker. Check and mate. That means you have to pay me to fuck me; just so you know. Convinced your brother is a prostitute. Great, I’ll try out tomorrow. Gotta help me practice though. How is it subjective?

You sure your leg wouldn’t snap just trying to kick the ball? Not sure if I want to know why. What makes you think you’re worth paying, anyway? Your ability to talk big doesn’t say shit for how good you are when it counts. Brilliant, I’ll cheer you on. Your opinion, that’s why.

Clearly you’ve never traveled to the midwest.

Why would I travel to the land of the poor?

Kayla: idk they are pretty balanced