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evaswrath:

( kyu. )

“ … ”

The answer that query is on the tip of Asuka’s tongue, but she wouldn’t dare spitting the truth like this. Not only because it’s difficult, but she refuses to let the First see through her like that.

“ You cared. ” Asuka repeated in a taunting way, a daring brow arched up. “ I brought you because I thought that’s what Captain would want, ” She’s lying through her teeth, “ That’s it, alright? ”

What a joke. Why is she bothering with elaborating answers for Kyu?

Fourteen years, that’s how long she’s been without catching sight of the other. And now that the Second is back, Asuka’s started doubting her emotional independence. She doesn’t want to depend on anyone, for nothing, ever. Because the only time she did, the world almost went down the role.

“ I do. ” She said. “ I mean it. I hate you, I don’t know why you are here, or why Misato agreed to keep you in here. I dread your existence. So why do you want to depend on me? ”

“Because I do not have anyone else to depend on,” Ayanami says. “I cannot even depend on myself.” It sounds like a desperate lie, but it’s true in a sense- what Kyu has been, up until Asuka connected with her, was a mold into which Gendo poured his orders. Ayanami feels them still sometimes, lurking beneath the surface, telling her that home is NERV and here is where the enemy is.

Only that isn’t true, or she doesn’t want to believe it is. She wants to believe Asuka can help her, if only because those compulsions seem to leave her when Asuka is around. But it doesn’t seem like Asuka is willing to help, and Ayanami won’t force her to. To do otherwise would be a betrayal of what little trust Ayanami thought they’d had. “I understand, then,” she whispers, and turns away. “I will leave you alone, Shikinami.”

#evaswrath

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Wrote this for Kyu’s contribution in @thiirdboy‘s Hunger Games

She has blood on her hands, blood that belongs to a boy that looked no older than her. From the lack of the cannons that fire by nightfall, Kyu can tell she’s the only one with this mark upon her. She’s set herself apart, unintentionally, as the sole killer of them all.

She remembers frightened eyes, the feeble tugging of hands in her shirt as the life drained out of the boy. She doesn’t remember his name- just that he came from Ten, and his token, a hat, stood out like a beacon amidst the treeline. She recalls fleeing into the forest like everyone else, running from the fighting and the shouting until it was far too dark for her to tell where she was. But even then, Kyu knows.

She’s in the arena. She’s alone, as she was promised she would never be again.

She wants to go home.

In the morning, someone comes after her. Kyu doesn’t see much other than blue (blue?) eyes and a streak of red hair, and it’s enough for her to flee higher into the hills. She thinks it’s the girl she left behind at home, come to chase her down for the sin of murder. For a fleeting moment, Kyu wants to stop running, wants to let this other catch her and spill her blood out on the earth, and that’ll be the end, and her atonement.

She slows, and her step catches on a rise in the rock. With a scream, she tumbles down the hillside, and is lost from her pursuer’s sight.

The descent is violent, and it throws her from the forest into a clearing lined with trees. Kyu’s face is scratched, her ankle sprained, and there are others right in front of her- she’s tumbled right into an enemy camp. But they don’t seem to know that she’s the one who spilled first blood. All they see is a scared, injured girl, and it works to her advantage. They take her in that night, and as they sit around a meager fire, the two others talk of home.

Kyu doesn’t speak of home. She tries not to think of it. She tries not to think of blue eyes and red hair, and arms that will reach out to kill her, rather than embrace her.

They part ways in the morning. Alliances don’t last longer than hours; those that do threaten to become friendships, and those tend to get fatal, fast. Kyu limps into the forest, her injured leg stepping heavily into the soft dirt.

It’s no wonder that she gets tracked down so fast.

This time she can’t shake off her attacker. This time he tracks her, corners her between a fallen log and a cliff face, and all Kyu can see is her reflection gazing desperately back at her in the blade of his knife.

She doesn’t resist. It’s almost a comforting release. She won’t have to go back home and find out whether she’s hated now, or loved. She won’t have to return with hands stained red. She can fall asleep here in the trees, where she’ll dream of blue eyes and red hair and the softness of love upon her lips.

#ooc();#writing();#thiirdboy

evaswrath:

( kyu. )

Yes, a pet. Did she stutter? Asuka snorts.

“ You are Rei, ” She’s not. “ You’re Commander Ikari’s pet, you ARE Ayanami Rei! An emotionless, good for nothing, pet! ” She isn’t Ayanami Rei, she knows that. “ If you aren’t Rei, then who are you? ”

It’s easier that way, to repeat it until the other finally accepts it. There’s no mental instability within Asuka to handle such emotional burden. There’s no way someone can depend on her other than for her battling skills, she can’t help it but find it unsettling. She can’t be the one to deal with this… With her… With Kyu.

A glare is shot to the girl’s hand, and with a hasty movement, the second child pulled her hand away from that grip that isn’t that much cold anymore.

“ It doesn’t matter, ” Her arms are crossed now, “ Why do you care anyway? Just forget about it already. ”

“You do not believe that,” Ayanami murmurs, but it sounds like she believe what Asuka’s said. It makes sense that no one would want to be near her. It would explain why Ikari fled from her, why the Commander sent her on a mission that was supposed to be suicide. No one has a use for her now, not even Asuka. Asuka’s withdrawal is evidence enough of that.

“I cared because I believed you did,” she says, taking a step away from Asuka. For the first time since she’s left NERV, Ayanami doesn’t feel like Ayanami. She feels like just another clone, and that Asuka’s made sure she knows it. It’s the same thing that she felt as the Third Child left her, and- yes, she’s sure of it now- Asuka is going to leave her now, too. “Why did you bring me here?” Red eyes drift dejectedly toward the ground, brows furrowing sadly. “If you did not believe I had a future, why did you save me?”

Ayanami doesn’t expect an answer. She turns her back on Asuka, staring blankly at the mass of bodies in the halls. Without Asuka to guide her, she’ll have to wander through that, a foreboding mass of humanity that she’s woefully unequipped for. She feels the emotion she’s most familiar with creeping up on her- fear- and turns to look at Asuka again. “Shikinami? Do you mean it?”

evaswrath:

Her teeth grit at the sound of Kyu’s voice. How dense one must be to not realize their presence is unrequited? Years of living in this forsaken ship added to the pilot’s strong personality somehow. She stopped altogether at the last request, taking a moment before slowly glancing over the shoulder.

“ Where I’m going is none of your business, ” The sharpness within her voice mirrored the one in her single eye. “ Believe it or not, this ship is big enough for both of us. That means we don’t have to meet at all. ” Ruthless, but that’s exactly what she’s become. “ Go be someone’s pet or something. Maybe captain’s, she’s the one who agreed on taking you in. ”

But that’s not entirely true, Asuka is the one who brought Kyu along, for some crazy. Clear reasoning outside battle is something she’s lost touch with. Tragic, really. Perhaps this action can be justified by nostalgia. Maybe, just maybe, she wants a good memory back, but this is not Rei. This is not the one she once cared for.

“Pet?” Ayanami blinks, misses a single step that sends her scurrying to catch up with Asuka. “I am no one’s pet,” she murmurs, more to herself than for the benefit of Asuka. “I am me. I am... not Rei.” Just a month ago, hearing that she wasn’t Rei would’ve sent Ayanami into a spiraling depression; now, it’s one of the things she holds on to dearly. She isn’t Rei, and Asuka’s confirmed this for her. She’s someone else-

Someone that Asuka still doesn’t want to be around. Ayanami wonders just what it would take for Asuka to appreciate her company, and not just shrug her off like this. “You are the one who led me here. Therefore, I will continue to follow you.” And anyway, it’s not like the other areas of the Wunder have use for a rogue Ayanami-type. Ayanami knows, from the looks she gets in the halls, that there are still some aboard that nurse fierce grudges for anyone who was affiliated with NERV, and that near Asuka is the safest place to be.

“Shikinami?” Ayanami briefly loses sight of her in a snarl of people and uniforms. When she glimpses Asuka on the other side of the sea of bodies, Ayanami darts through them, using her tendency to go unnoticed to her advantage. She comes out of the crowd, grasping at Asuka’s arm. “Why do you act like this? You were not this way in the desert.”

#evaswrath #ic();#02

solisbreath

Nothing sounds more absurd than thinking about the word ‘calming’. Using it held an even heavier prospect that you have gone insane. But maybe that’s it, maybe she’s lost it, and not even anxiety can get to you anymore - nothing affects her for real it’s been years.

Regardless, it is in the silence of the plug’s entry that the second child finds comfort in this sensation akin to calmness. It doesn’t last long ( for her disdan ), and the test is over with no abnormalities in its results. Just as expected.

But one thing she did not expect.

why is she here?

A single blue hue lays upon that form, the Ayanami-type that was rescued, and she can’t help but wonder… Why did Captain take her in? Certainly, she has plans for the girl; Katsuragi isn’t the kind woman she used to be years ago, there has to be a deeper meaning to this decision. Asuka has no time for all this wondering, let alone paying her any attention - because it means she’s acknowledging the other. And that is what she wishes not to do. With firm steps and a soft scowl that escaped her lips, the scarlet pilot simply walked away.

@ayanamitype