aya

because i'm at work and clearly nothing can stop me thinking about these two (although these are mostly ryan because never in my life have i felt more seen by a character)

the opening scene of ryan and naim meeting each other at the mills was actually their first real hangout. they've stared at each other longingly, had small talks here and there, was introduced to each other but they hadn't planned to meet properly. ryan had to arrange it because naim was too intimidated and didn't think ryan would actually want to do it.

ryan stopped being physically aggressive after the first time at the mills. he pushes to tease, he throws light jabs, he lets naim start the brawl and maybe even let naim win until naim's annoyed that he's not actually fighting.

ryan went home overthinking things after naim said he didn't like the town and searched about date ideas, places to visit in the city, how much money it takes, etc. but still ended up scared that naim would end up moving.

naim gets nightmares about hunter's passing and ryan would have no other option but tell him stories or sing made-up lullabies (badly) until naim falls asleep again

ever since they started to live together, ryan can't sleep without his hair getting played with.

every time they argue, ryan storms out to cool himself down but when he comes back and reaches for naim, naim flinches and asks if it's really him.

they had a sit-down talk and tried to know each other deeply in hopes that the entity will not learn these same things - the quirks, the embarrassing moments, greatest fears. this is how they greet each other after a long time of being apart or working separately. a hug, what's my favorite line from a movie, a peck, what did i do when i tripped and a disgusting snot came out of me, a kiss on the forehead, where would i go if money is not our problem.

he playfights, he beats and throws things both at hunter and naim. he teases naim for being scared of everything. he goads at the face of the pastor and religion. and yet he wasn't able to lift the pipe (henceforth when the entity lifted the pipe to crash naim with it, we knew this wasn't actually ryan). and yet when the boy at school threw a dissected frog at him, he didn't say a word nor throw anything back. and yet when they learned from jessica at the hospital that the entity takes shape of whoever you desire most, he doesn't revolt or push like naim does. and yet when he learned that naim outed him, he didn't shout or shove.

at that point, there might be nowhere for them to go but the "safe" option - compulsory heterosexuality.