My Hiden Shit

It's been a while since I broke off all contact with anyone I ever called or considered a friend. I'm officially a hermit. It's like my life has become a cliché from a serial killer movie. I still pray... I talk to God a lot. He tells me the aliens will come soon and we'll all have psychosis, and then I won't feel so alone in this mental illness. He tells me I'm his son and I'm a child of God. When my mind is at its sickest, in existential crises and loneliness, I can feel him. He tells me he doesn't allow me to take my own life. He says I can try as many times as I want, and he'll always send aliens to transfer my soul to another body. He's chosen me for something, and not knowing what it is is driving me crazy. I'm aware of how this sounds. I've done my reality checks as usual.