unapollogetic

It is not!

You kind of just called her fat.

No, but it’s more accurate. She’s not exactly classy Duchess material, she’s more… pig baby.

Wow, that's kind of... Mean. But I can't say I disagree.

I’m starting to think that when Fergie called herself The Duchess she meant the one from Alice in Wonderland.

You're saying you think she meant to refer to herself as a character in Alice in Wonderland?

…Étrange.

That one I got. It's pretty accurate.

Well, new phrase: Je ne vais pas tomber pour elle. Whatever teeth-rottingly sweet, overly awkward, nice guy act you’ve got going on, I’m not falling for it.

Je means I, right? And then ne and vais mean -- Oh, well, uh, sorry to disappoint, but this is it. This is the real deal. It's pathetic, I know, I'm trying to work on it.

Êtes-vous toujours aussi nerveux? Translation: Are you always this nervous?

Uh... oui?

Unless you’ve got Siri set to French or something, I don’t think she’d be very helpful. And if you did have her set to French, you wouldn’t be able to use Siri anyways. Try investing in an electronic translator, I think that’s what you’re looking for- did you just call me “gorgeous”?

I mean, I think that's what I was planning on doing. Well, I mean, I would use that, if I knew how to spell the words. Which, you know, I don't. Did I? I swear, I didn't mean to... I mean, obviously I meant to, just, you know, not out loud.

A lot of them speak english. It’s like.. the universal language. I’m pretty sure people from Mars speak english.

Well, I'm pretty sure there aren't any people on Mars, but I see your point.

Vraiment facile. They mean, “really easy”. Il suffit de perdre le dictionnaire déjà. Ce n’est évidemment pas de travail.

Wow, okay, slow down there, gorgeous. My pocket guide does not work that fast. I wish it were like Siri where you can just speak and it translates it right away... Now that I think about it, maybe I should be using Siri...

French isn’t that difficult. Honnêtement, c’est vraiment facile.

Uh, hold on, let me just -- Honnêtement means honestly, and then c'est means it's... Can you repeat those last two words?

Why even bother?

I don't know, I want to be able to talk to people here?