she pours a daydream in a cup

she's been very reckless lately

She really does just exist in a default state of alarming sadness. There are definitely moments, maybe even a lot of moments, where she is happy, but when they fade she always seems to just be left to sit in her own head. She thinks so much and is painfully aware of the sadness of everyone around her, and it really... hits home.

Her face was sad and lovely with bright things in it, bright eyes and a bright passionate mouth, but there was an excitement in her voice that men who had cared for her found difficult to forget: a singing compulsion, a whispered “Listen,” a promise that she had done gay, exciting things just a while since and that there were gay, exciting things hovering in the next hour.

today she went out with Hikari and I... think got most of the tears out of her system

I think it's actually about time that she learns what it feels like to stand on her own two feet without romance for a while. I mean, most of her character arcs have revolved around that: with Darach she was able to explore love for the first time, and there wasn't really a gap between her feelings for Darach into the ones for Grimsley. They tangled and meshed and it took her a while to unravel them and come to the conclusion that Grimsley was the one she wanted.

She's still smiling, at least. It's a bit sad, and she has a lot of regrets even if she won't own up to any of them, but she's smiling.