Awk0Troyler

*from one INFJ to another 

take charge of your intuitive nature: read into your future and project the version of yourself that comes from constant self-improvement // believe in your capabilities and skills // basically, hold up a positive mental image of yourself

manage your empathy: it is both a blessing and a curse so channel your empathy to pick up cues from other people and work those insights into the conversation

journal/think on paper: even if it’s a random collection of thoughts and words (in general) // take care of yourself and enjoy reflecting as much as you love progressing // use it as a creative outlet as well, there are no rules // great place to practice gratefulness // journal all emotions

stay true to your passions: it’s true, you’re determined, idealistic, and passionate so settling is never an option for you // find happiness in the act of following your heart and staying true to your convictions // find ways to fuel and drive your passions 

don’t let false perceptions ruin your vibe: people will constantly misconstrue and misjudge your nature as being “mysterious,” “too reserved” “stuck-up” and/or “too concerned about what others think” // unfortunately, their misunderstanding only picks up your tendency to believe in and working to ensure the well-being and equality of others // you dream of a better world, so you act according to one–always setting an example of what you value: consideration, respect, and the well-being of others (what can you do, you’re an advocate and not everyone gets that, their loss)

they way you keep your distance is okay: you enjoy your personal space and “me-time”, and you’re cautious of who gets to experience all of your personality quirks because it’s based on comfort // what others won’t see is your attentiveness to: deep connections (that take cultivation and time) & building trust with a very small group of people–don’t let that get you down

hang on to that happiness within you: you need your alone time because you can’t find your inner bliss if you’re distracted by other people and energies around them // even if you could ignore, you can’t–a single person’s bad mood is something you can’t shake off when around them–something must be done, but you must be alone to center yourself and enjoy your inner joy

How come all the posts I see on Tumblr about INFJs describe us as clever, mystical, ethereal beings who always have their heads in the clouds??

Maybe some of us are like that - but what about the confused infjs who sometimes feel like a mix of every type??

All the infjs I know are introverted, outgoing, quiet, insecure, confident, intelligent, can’t-do-the-talking-thing, dreamers, pessimists,optimists, just all round constantly confused beings who just need a hug and who will cry at any injustice. 

We aren’t ethereal beings. We are confused beings who are mostly nerds and dreamers and idealists, who mostly lack the optimism to put our plans into action.

Artistic yet logical. One foot firmly on the ground, the other rooted in fiction.

Somehow everyone and no one.

Wants to understand EVERYTHING but doesn’t like reducing things to the very numbers and figures that explain them.

Hates many aspects of humanity. Wants to save humanity.

Loves the idea that people are capable of change. That everyone deserves a second chance. Yet will often cut people out of life when a pattern doesn’t change. May not even open up to new people at all if they sensed there was no potential for that relationship from the first encounter.

Peacekeeper…until an injustice is committed. Will step into the ring for another, but not themselves. Sometimes too emotionally torn between doing what is right and avoiding conflict at all costs.

High-strung perfectionist and laid-back daydreamer.

A romantic and idealist who understands the irrationality of these ideals and often comes to expect disappointment.

Desires structure and order, but values freedom in routine and life choices. Especially in creativity.

An old soul with a child’s eyes.

An easy acquaintance. A difficult person to get to know.

Solitude is a haven. But always searching for that human connection, for someone to simply understand. To do for an INFJ what they do for others.

From a young age, the INFJ innately senses the difference between behavior that is authentically motivated (i.e., spiritually and psychologically healthy) and behavior that is inauthentic or ego driven (i.e., spiritually and psychologically destructive).

INFJs tend to see adults and children through the same lens and then judge them by this universal qualification (expectation): authenticity

Some INFJs, after alienating others with their unrealistic expectations, assume martyrdom, pitying themselves for being isolated by society for having “noble intentions.”

There is a running theme with INFJs, and that is a yearning for authenticity and sincerity – in their activities, their romantic relationships, and their friendships.

INFJs seek out people who share their passions, interests and ideologies, people with whom they can explore philosophies and subjects that they believe are truly meaningful.

INFJs are proud of their authenticity, respectful of their benevolence, confident of their empathy. They also are constantly in a state of self-renewal. They have high expectations of themselves and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. They do this through total trust of their intuition. They believe in constant growth and don’t often take time to revel in their accomplishments.

Meaningful connections are essential to INFJs, and if they sense that they can’t make one with someone, then they have no problems walking away from the person for good. If an INFJ does consider someone authentic and real, and if they have a strong connection with them, then consider yourself in luck — you’ve just found the most loyal friend you’ll ever know.

I have a lot of thank you’s to make. So I hope you are all listening.

Here’s to the parents. Those who are above and beyond us. Who taught us that our worth is based solely on a few big, fat, red letters on our report card.

Here’s to the magazines and T.V. shows. Those who are wealthier and seemingly wiser than us. Who taught us that our worth is based solely on the brand of jeans, the hairstyle we have, and the natural shape of our body. 

Here’s to the movies and novels. Those who are predictable and drain the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to go. Who taught us that we need a man to save us from our problems, that we’re incomplete without one, and we have a happy ending only once we find a man. 

Here’s to the brothers and sisters. Those who are always better, stronger, smarter, faster, happier. Who taught us that no matter how hard we try, we will never compare to their success.

Here’s to the heart breakers and backstabbing friends. Those who are out there only for themselves and don’t think about other people’s feelings or what they’re going through. Who taught us that we’re a waste of time, that we deserve to die, that there is something wrong with us.

And here’s to society. For teaching us to live a certain way. Go to school, graduate, get a bachelor’s degree, find a stable job even if you don’t enjoy it endlessly, get married, have children, discipline them. You taught us to live by everyone else’s rules. You taught us to live by making everyone else proud. You taught us that our life isn’t ours. You never once taught us to live for ourselves. To believe what we want, even if it’s not what everyone else thinks. To do what we want, even if it doesn’t guarantee money in the future. 

The only reason I’m up here today as valedictorian is because I lived every day just to get A’s. I was taught that that was the way to happiness. And I’m up here today, looking back. I realized that there was not one time in my 4 years here where I stopped and thought “God, I’m happy.” That’s not living. That’s just getting by. You know, high school is supposed to be the greatest 4 years of your life. No one ever told me that it would drain you until you didn’t even have one drop of energy left after staying up all night just to get done the homework for 4 AP classes and then having a nervous break down from all the stress, lack of sleep, lack of food, and lack of happiness. No one ever warned me that these 4 years would leave me exhausted to the point where I’m sick every day when I wake up for school. All anyone ever warned me was about how much colleges looked at our grades and SAT scores and to plan my career and still do extracurricular activities and apply for every scholarship and to get a job so you can save up money because you’ll be in loans when you finish college. And I can’t even think of what my major is going to be because I haven’t found my passions because I haven’t been able to live these past 4 years. All I can think of is when I go to college, I better get all A’s and go into a major that will lead me to wealth. High school never taught me to love myself, put my happiness first, and that I do have a voice. 

I’m not up here because I’m driven, determined, ambitious, dedicated, or a dreamer. I’m up here because I was brought up that grades were what defined me. Other than my looks and weight. I’m up here because I wanted to feel worthy. I wanted to feel like I had a purpose. But let me tell you what they don’t want you to know. I can get a perfect SAT score, a 100% in all my classes, and get accepted to an IV league college. But I will still feel empty. Grades did not define me like I was taught. I’m still empty like before. But unlike before, I have no creativity or passions. I wasn’t taught to believe what I wanted and go do what I wanted to do.

Those who go head first into what they love to do, even if they’re bound to fail, those are the real “valedictorians.” They are the ones that are living. The rest of us are just surviving. Living in the comfort that grades and wealth will guarantee us tomorrow. We can plan, and plan, and plan our future as much as we want to, but the future will still never be guaranteed. What is guaranteed is today. The best way to handle today is by living it. 

Society is wrong. Don’t do what I did and waste 4 years draining yourself. Don’t just survive. Do what you need to do for the now.

Official Tyler Oakley Tumblr Meetup! 

When: Saturday, March 19th Tag: Tyler Oakley Tumblr Meetup Time: 2:00pm - 4:00pm EST / 11:00am - 1:00pm PST / 6:00pm - 8:00pm GMT

Info:

If you don’t know already, I host meetups in the Tyler Oakley fandom to let blogs find each other and make new friends! Post selfies, edits, make friends, gain followers and have fun! 

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me on here or Twitter! - @ayetroyler