I think I need a new story.

at the start of every month everyone reblogs some insane poetry that’s like “august has arrived and again I swallow my bones in the burning sun” and every time I’m like damn that makes no sense. but kind of true.

omg guys happy bone swallowing august

when you eat a Normal Sandwich (bread meat greens cheese relish) and your body goes ooohhh fuck! oh fuck! what have you done! heartbeat GO! sweating GO! temperature GO! like sorry man I'm just trying to keep you WORKING!!!!!!!! ASS HOLE!

I think some of y'all would really benefit from learning the scope of power of various political offices.

Are you trying to tell me my local schoolboard doesn't have the ability to declare a unilateral ceasefire with iran?

If they try hard enough and are pure of heart... still no.

ronan lynch is a great character because he asks the bold question of what if someone was both a dubiously human entity with god power and also a 19 year old gay teenager with bipolar disorder at the same time

reminder to everyone in the US that this is a VALID religious exemption for catholics! your school/workplace cannot force you into using AI as it clearly is stated to be against the catholic religion <3

Dear Jesus, I recognize all Your creatures have a part in the grand design. Please stir the hearts of these roaches to play their part somewhere else. Amen.

the prawn bomb exploded into shrimpnel

a lot of people were krilled

@o-lei-o-lai-o-lord

very skilled at having a headache