loving that johnny coco cruz is my brand

He wasn’t sure he could hate his mother any more until her final admission. Growing up, Celia had a corner partner as mean and ruthless as she was. She would come over, leave her daughter with Coco and the two of them would disappear for hours into the night. Her daughter was a couple years younger than him but had an attitude that could rival anyone on the block. They became fast friends, making up games and stories and putting together whatever they could find to eat. Sometimes the women would come back alone and her mother would take her home to her apartment down the hall. Sometimes they weren’t alone, which always turned violent sooner or later. When Coco heard the door open and a deep, unfamiliar laugh, he would grab her hand and bring her into his closet. They stayed in the closet together, making up stories about how they would grow up and fall in love, escape their shitty apartments and mothers.

Coco would never forget one night after a brutal fight, they were still lying on the floor of the closet. He held her tight, his body between her and the door.

“Promise me we’ll get out of here?” she asked him quietly, fear making her voice tremble.

“I promise,” he whispered, squeezing her close.

Coco lost contact with her when he went into the service. He didn’t think too much of it at the time but as he dragged Celia’s body from the bathroom to the kitchen, he replayed her callous words.

“We gave her to the landlord for free rent. Got us a couple more years in that piece of shit. He always liked her eyes, how she had different colors. It was only supposed to be for a few months but she never came back.”

His first stop was Louie, whose face paled when he saw Coco again. He pulled out an old picture from his wallet from when they were teenagers, arms around each other’s shoulders and big smiles on their faces. They had just reunited after a few months of Coco in juvie. Louie remembered hearing about a woman on the street with two different colored eyes. He tried to find her to feature her on his site but hit a dead end. He gave Coco all the info he had, still worried the club was after him. Coco spent weeks and weeks following lead after lead, scouring every corner he could think of. He eventually told the club about his mission after he snapped at Bishop and almost got taken into the cage for his attitude. He had been chased out of a brothel the night before by a bunch of skinheads with shotguns and was fed up with coming up empty. 

His spirits were lifted when the club got to work, pooling all their resources to help him find her. There was one terrible night where he thought she was dead. Taza came to him solemnly, phone in his hand that she died at the hand of a ruthlessly brutal pimp. Coco was halfway through a bottle of whiskey when Hank told him Taza’s source got her mixed up with another girl and she actually left with another pimp. It took several more long, painful weeks for his source to call back. 

“She’s at a brothel on the border, Corte del Rey,” Taza murmured.

Coco’s blood boiled when he heard the name. Corte Del Rey was notorious for mistreating their employees. Stories about women chained up in cages when they weren’t working, hit for even daring to speak without being spoken to. He looked over at Bishop, who nodded.

“Time to put Corte del Rey out of business,” he decided.

Coco sat in the back of the van, gun resting over his lap. Gilly was next to him, while Creeper drove the van. The rest of the club rode ahead, checking out the building. He pulled his hood over his head, trying to breathe evenly and steady his hands. EZ opened the van doors and they slid out, Bishop calling them over to discuss their plan. Coco peered through his scope, pulling the trigger when he caught a guard’s eye. Half the club snuck down to the front of the warehouse and the other half lined up at the back door. Riz and Creeper stayed back to help any women who escaped and take care of anyone who showed up from the road. 

Coco followed Hank through the back door, women screaming as bullets flew. EZ and Taza worked fast to free the women as the rest of the club handled the men holding them captive. They ran for the doors and Coco immediately spotted her trying to slip out the back. He followed her, catching her around the waist. She screamed and struggled in his arms, trying to fight him off.

“Hey, hey, corazón, it’s me!” he spun her around, “It’s Coco, hey,” he held her cheeks, tears spilling over his eyes as they locked on hers, “You’re safe now. It’s me…” he watched her eyes widen in recognition and she sobbed, both of them falling to the ground clutching each other tightly.

Coco couldn’t remember the last time he felt the warmth in his chest as she curled up in his lap, sleeping in the back of the van with the rest of the girls and a very thrilled Gilly. He brushed her hair back as gently as he could, watching her sleep. The van pulled up to Vicki’s but he stayed put, his arm wrapped around her waist. Gilly jumped out and helped the girls inside, where Vicki and her girls were waiting with food, first aid and a job if they wanted.

“You coming, bro?” Creeper asked.

He shook his head, “Don’t wanna wake her,” he spoke softly.

“One cup…” she mumbled to herself, acrylic nail skimming the page of the cookbook. A few pots bubbled in various stages of cooking, a pan of chicken baking in the oven. Coco’s house smelled like an Indian restaurant in every corner, despite the back door’s window cracked open.

She heard the sound of a motorcycle pulling into the driveway and smiled, her first real one all day. The bike cut and two voices arguing in loud, fast tones followed. Her heart raced but she willed it to calm down.

It’s just Coco and Letty. It’s safe. She was safe.

They came through the door still bickering and Letty slammed the door shut. She froze, images flashing in front of her eyes.

Screaming. Rough hands on her. Blood and chains.

Warm fingers wrapped around her wrist and she heard her name, gentle but urgent. She looked up to see kind eyes, his eyes on hers. She looked down to see his hand on her wrist, grounding her. He always knew how to bring her out of a flashback.

“Are you okay?” Coco asked, brow furrowed in concern.

She nodded and rubbed her eyes, “Sorry, it was the door…”

He drew in a slow breath to calm himself, “Man, I told that girl a million fuckin' times,” he walked off before she could stop him, “Leticia!”

She stirred some sauce, focusing on the radio and food until she heard her name again but in a lighter tone. She turned to see Letty standing in the kitchen doorway.

“I’m sorry,” Letty murmured, “I didn’t mean to scare you. He just makes me so mad sometimes.”

“I know,” she smiled softly, “I’m okay. What’s going on?”

Letty huffed in annoyance, “He’s telling me I can’t go out-“

“On a date,” Coco called from the patio.

“It’s a group date for a movie and dinner!” Letty exclaimed, “I even told him to come pick me up so you could scare him or whatever. And we’re meeting like 3 other couples there! And some people by themselves.”

“And I told you no boys,” he called back.

“I’m literally 19,” Letty glared at the open door, then looked back at her, “Please help.”

“Go get ready,” she winked and Letty grinned, running off.

She walked outside to find Coco sitting at the table, a lit cigarette in the ash tray as he looked over a disassembled gun. She picked up the cigarette and sat next to him.

“I don’t like being teamed up on,” he grumbled without looking up.

She smiled and took a drag, “But it’ll just be you and me here if she goes on the date. And you get to scare some poor kid.”

Coco looked up, his eyes soft as he watched her let the smoke out, “You sure you’re okay? There’s a lot of food in there.”

Cooking was usually a tell that she was feeling uneasy. Her therapist told her it was a healthy coping mechanism. She was good at it and enjoyed it. Letty and Coco also got to benefit from it but the more food he saw, the more worried he became.

“Tomorrow’s the anniversary,” she murmured, handing him the cigarette, “I’m just…keeping busy.”

He nodded in understanding, “I brought home more weed. You wanna smoke it before or after we eat?”

She smiled, “Both. Now stop changing the subject.”

He rolled his eyes playfully and took a drag of the cigarette, “I know how ugly this world is. We both do.”

“All three of us do,” she reminded him gently.

He sighed, “I know,” he admitted, “I just wanna protect her when I can.”

“It seems harmless, baby,” she nodded at the gun, “What’s wrong with it?”

“It jammed today,” he explained, “So I’m cleaning it and fixing it,” he took another drag, “Tell Letty she can go.”

She got up and kissed his head, “I already did,” she giggled and ran inside, turning to see Coco watching her with amused eyes.

His eyes are what drew her in. She’ll never forget the first time she saw them. Her mom’s newest “fiancé” had lost his job and they had to move. Again. He had a fierce look on his face as he stood between an older boy and a girl their age, earning him the nickname el Coco very early on. When she met the girl officially later that week, she said Coco was the only boy to trust.

The sound and chaos of his club descending on the brothel terrified her and the other girls. Whenever men had broken in before, the girls were either stolen and forced into other brothels or killed. When the doors opened and she fled to the back door, she thought she would be held captive again until she heard his voice and their eyes met. She knew she would never hurt again, safe with el Coco once again where she belonged.

“How do I look?” Letty’s voice broke her thoughts.

Letty was dressed for her date in a pair of black jeans and a cropped shirt, matching sneakers on her feet. Her hair was straight and down to her shoulders.

“Cute,” she smiled, “Are those the new jeans?”

Coco listened to them talk in the kitchen as he reassembled his gun. Their relationship made his heart softer every time he watched them together. She was there when he found out about Letty but was gone by the time she was born. They bonded over their shared experiences and hatred for Celia. She never called her mom but he would see Letty look at her with so much love it made his chest ache.

“Dinner’s ready, mi amor,” she called from the doorway.

He nodded and got up, kissing her softly before heading inside. 

He frowned when he saw Letty sitting at the table, a plate in front of her as she texted.

“Why you only wearing half a shirt?” he arched an eyebrow.

Letty scoffed, “Because I like this shirt.”

She let herself zone out while they argued over dinner, the bickering comforting her. Coco ultimately lost the battle, much to his dismay before he cleaned up the table and took out a bigger gun.

“Are you joking?” Letty glared, “You’re so annoying.”

“What?” he blinked at her innocently, “I need to clean this one too.”

She was cleaning the dishes and looked over as Coco started disassembling it. She giggled, “Coco…”

He met her eyes and smirked, “Can’t have this one fucking up on me. Could be real bad, ma.”

Letty groaned, “I’m gonna be single forever.”

A knock sounded and Letty ran to answer the door. She brought in a young man, a little taller than her with curly brown hair and a nervous smile.

“Robert, this is my dad Coco,” she sighed, “Please ignore what he’s doing.”

Coco stood up, quietly studying the younger man with narrowed eyes. Robert’s hand was out between them and she saw a slight tremble. She knew Coco was eating that shit up inside.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” his voice trembled too but he tried to mask it.

“Robert,” he arched an eyebrow, “Where do you think you’re taking my kid?”

“We’re going to the movies,” he couldn’t stop glancing at the gun on the table, Coco’s knife next to it, “On uh…in the plaza,” he looked at Letty, “And dinner at the diner across the street. A lot of us.”

Coco walked around the table, sizing him up, “What do you know about me, Robert?” his voice took on a menacing edge.

The younger man’s eyes widened and he looked around for help. Letty was by his side, glaring at her father. He looked at the tattooed woman in the kitchen, who was silently watching Coco with a soft, amused smile.

“I know you’re uh…you’re in the Mayans,” he blurted out when Coco took another step toward him, “And…and you’re protective over Letty. I won’t let anything happen to her. I swear.”

“Oh I know you won’t,” Coco picked up his knife without looking, but Robert’s wide eyes didn’t miss it, “You know why?”

“I actually hate you,” Letty hissed at him.

“Why?” Robert swallowed harshly.

Coco’s lips stretched into a sinister smile, “Whatever happens to her,” he nodded at Letty, “Happens to you,” he pointed at Robert with the knife, “Entiendes?”

The younger man nodded quickly, his curls bouncing with the movement. Letty scoffed, “Okay, that was fun, let’s go,” she grabbed her purse and led him toward the door, “I’m not mortified at all.”

“Home by 10,” Coco called.

“Fuck off!” Letty called back as she dragged Robert down the driveway. 

Unable to stop himself, Coco stood in the doorway with his knife, still glaring Robert down until he left. Coco grinned after closing the door, turning to lock eyes with his woman.

“Enjoy yourself?” she teased as he set his knife on the table.

“I got to threaten some kid and embarrass ours,” he wrapped his arms around her waist, “Of course I did.”

Her face softened, “Ours?” she whispered as she ran her hands up his arms gently.

Coco stood outside a Greek restaurant, smoking a cigarette as he waited for her to arrive for their date. He hung out with her on the beach for a little while longer before heading back to the guys. Gilly stopped bitching once he heard she had single friends and he and Angel found a few women to entertain for the night. Coco spent the rest of his time at the beach texting her and setting up their first date. She asked to meet him there for both her safety and convenience. The restaurant looked nice but comfortable. He straightened his kutte, long hair hanging in two braids over his shoulders. He got a few sideways glances but otherwise was left alone to wait. He looked at the time and saw it was five minutes past, then heard the hurried click of heels and he looked up.

“Sorry I’m late,” she called from down the sidewalk, “My stupid alarm didn’t go off.”

Coco’s jaw dropped as he took her in. She wore a black dress, neckline dipping down past her chest to her stomach paired with black high heeled boots. Her long hair was up in another ponytail, loose pieces framing her face. She had gold jewelry on and red lipstick covering her full lips.

“You look so hot,” she smirked as she approached him, kissing his cheek and running a hand down his naked arm.

“I’m actually speechless,” he admitted and took her hand, spinning her slowly, “I think I must’ve died and this is heaven. Ain’t no way a woman this beautiful is into me.”

She let out a surprised giggle, “She is into you, actually,” she murmured once she was facing him again, “You ready?”

He licked his lips, “I just need another minute, baby, my heart's about to give out.”

“Need mouth to mouth?” she winked and hooked her finger around his, leading him into the restaurant.

They were seated in a private booth, the lights low with a candle on every table. A waitress came up with a bottle of wine, greeting her in Greek and pouring them each a glass. He decided to try it instead of his usual beer or whiskey.

“So…what do you do at the museum?” he asked curiously after taking a sip, nodding in approval.

“Why are you asking like you’re suspicious?” she giggled.

He smiled, already obsessed with her laugh, “Well you weren’t in like the regular uniform. And everyone in here seems like they wanna impress you, so you must be pretty high up?”

She took a sip of her wine as she listened, “You’re so perceptive,” she murmured, “I like it. I actually design the exhibits.”

His eyes widened, “No shit?”

“No shit,” she repeated, “I come up with the concept, coordinate all the artifacts with my team and design the layout.”

“That’s so dope,” he murmured after a moment of shocked silence, “So the whole exhibit, that was you?”

“Yes,” she smiled, “Did you like it?”

He nodded, still slightly in awe, “My job ain’t even near that level. I just work at a scrapyard.”

She shrugged, “A job is a job, babe. I don’t care about stuff like that. Status and shit.”

“So do you wanna get married now or…” he trailed off, grinning when she laughed loudly.

Coco had a feeling he was fucked when she asked if he had a pick up line. He knew he was fucked when she walked up to him outside the restaurant. But he swore he could die happy right there when she melted into his arms, lips on his. He pressed her against the alley wall beside the restaurant, one hand on her jaw and the other stroking her thigh where her dress hem fell. She propped one foot against the wall and he gripped her thigh, holding it against his hip. He wanted to swallow every little whimper he heard in the back of her throat.

“You’re like a goddamn siren,” he breathed when they broke apart, still close enough for their lips to brush together, “How are you fuckin real?”

“My stripper name was Sirena,” she giggled, her eyes sparkling in the dim light, “Kiss me again, I’m not done with you.”

Coco would’ve done anything she asked, already feeling wrapped around her tattooed fingers. He pressed his hips to hers, sucking her bottom lip.

“I’m a siren?” she panted softly, “You’re about to make me break my rule of not taking people home on the first date.”

“You could come to my room instead if you want,” he licked his lips.

She smirked, “I have a better idea…”

Coco walked into the clubhouse a few days later, greeting the other guys and settling down on the couch next to Gilly.

“So how was the beach?” Creeper asked, “Y’all have a good time?”

“Hell yeah,” Gilly nodded, “Look at the smile on this fool’s face,” he nudged Coco, “He got with the finest chick in San Diego.”

Coco smirked, replaying the morning after their date in his head. He woke up as the sun came up, both of them tangled together on a blanket on the sand. Instead of going home, they spent the night on the beach. They talked about everything and nothing, lips fused together when the conversation lulled. He had snapped a picture of her asleep on his chest, frowning when other people started showing up. He woke her up and they went their separate ways for the day, Coco heading back to his hotel room and her rushing back to her apartment to change before work.

“Got a picture?”

He showed Creeper a picture taken the following night of the two of them in her mirror, a white dress wrapped around her body as she posed under his arm.

“Good catch,” Creep nodded, “You look happy, bro.”

“Thanks, man,” he murmured as his phone buzzed in his hand.

Mi Sirena: Very upset I’m not waking up on a beach with you this morning 😤

el Coco: me too ma. you good?

Mi Sirena: Bored in a meeting that could’ve been an email. Missing your lips 👀

el Coco: i know the feeling. when can i see you?

Mi Sirena: I’m heading to Arizona to do some research for my next exhibit in a few days, can I see you?

el Coco: we’re heading there soon. call you later?

Mi Sirena: It’s a date 😍

Coco rubbed his hands on his sheets as he sat on his bed. He picked up his phone and dialed her, biting his lip.

“Hi baby,” his nerves soothed as soon as he heard her voice, “Is it weird that I miss you already?”

Coco’s cheeks already hurt from smiling, “Nah, it’s not weird. I miss you too.”

She giggled, “I feel like I’m back in high school, talking to the cute boy I like,” Coco’s eyes widened when he heard a splash from her end of the phone.

“I like that,” he grabbed a blunt, “What you up to? I hear water.”

“I did a lot of moving today so I’m in the bath,” her smirk was clear in her voice.

He groaned, “Any chance we can do video?” he joked.

He jumped when he heard the voice call ringing in his ear, grinning when he answered. Her long hair was tied up in a messy bun, the lights were low and he could see the shadow of a candle on the wall. She was submerged up to her collarbones, her eyes running over every inch of him on the screen.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” she teased.

“You’re a vision, baby,” he licked his lips, “Long day?”

She nodded, “We were setting up a new exhibit so a lot of moving and physical shit. My whole body hurts, wanna come massage it?”

Coco glared playfully, “You know I do,” he lit the blunt, “So what’s in Arizona that you wanna check out?”

“I wanna do a series on states and territories that used to be part of Mexico before they were colonized,” she explained, “So I wanna check out some of their museums and talk to some indigenous tribes, figure out how to involve them.”

His eyes widened, “That’s dope. You’re way too smart for me, ma.”

She shook her head, “Don’t talk about yourself like that. I think you’re smart.”

His face softened, “Thanks,” he blew the smoke out.

“You look so hot,” she pouted, “What are you wearing?”

He pulled the phone back to show his white tank top and sweatpants, watching her eyes light up, “Nothing special. Now you,” he smirked.

She laughed and sat up, the water dripping down her chest before settling around her ribs. He licked his lips as her fingers trailed over the swell of her tits, nail catching the side of her nipple, “I wish you were here, baby.”

“Me too,” he murmured, “Fuck, I need to taste you.”

“Keep talking like that and we aren’t gonna be able to plan our date,” she giggled, her fingers still playing with her nipples.

“Keep touching yourself like that for me and I’m getting on the bike now,” he arched an eyebrow.

She smirked, “Is that a threat?”

“You already fuckin know, baby.”

Coco’s eyes darted around the busy casino as the club followed their hosts through the maze of slot machines, tables, and bars. He hadn’t heard from her since she left San Diego and the club’s meeting had the potential to get volatile. The combination had him on alert, tense with eyes narrowed. They filed into the meeting room, dropping their phones into a basket one by one. Coco hung toward the back of the group as he sent her a text.

el Coco: headed into a meeting so i won’t have my phone. let me know when you’re here.

He hesitated for a moment, hoping to see the little text bubble pop up. Bishop watched him carefully and Coco shook his head, locking the device and setting it down with the rest.

“Business first, then pleasure,” Bishop said with a wink.

“Yes jefe,” he smirked. Bishop squeezed his shoulder and followed Coco inside, one of the casino employees shutting and locking the door behind them.

Coco got up as soon as they were dismissed, Angel and Gilly behind him discussing their plans for the night. They fished their phones out and Coco tried not to let the guys see his relief when he saw her text waiting.

Mi Sirena: Finally here! Traffic was a whole bitch smh. If I’m not at the bar, I’m in room 512. Can’t wait to see you 😍

“Your girl here?” EZ asked as the group splintered off, some going to gamble and some heading to the bar, while others went outside.

He was about to answer when he saw her sitting at the bar, long hair loose and curly. She was in her professional clothes again, making Coco smirk. He wanted to tear them off her, see what was underneath and mark every inch of her. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so territorial over a woman and he tried not to think too much about it as he sat on the stool next to her.

Her eyes lit up, “Excuse me, but this seat’s taken.”

He laughed, “Oh yeah? Some pendejo left your fine ass by yourself?”

“I’m meeting someone actually,” she smiled, “He should be here soon.”

“I can take him,” he smirked.

“You’re hotter anyway,” she touched his arm, “No offense to your friends but I’m not really feeling like hanging out with anyone but you right now.”

He grinned, “My room or yours?”

Coco squeezed her hand as they headed to the elevator, nodding at any members he saw along the way. Creeper walked in when they passed the front doors and Coco introduced them.

“Very nice to meet you,” Creeper shook her hand with both of his, “Any friend of Coco’s is a friend of ours.”

“Thank you,” she smiled, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Creeper smiled and squeezed Coco’s shoulder, “Have a good night, brother.”

“You too, bro,” he hugged his brother before leading her into the elevator and pressed the 5 button.

She leaned against the wall and sighed, “He was sweet,” her voice trailed off when Coco put his hands on either side of her head, pressing her against the wall, “Coco…”

He tilted her chin up, their eyes locked, “You really are a siren, you know that?”

“What makes you say that?” she asked as her arms rested over his shoulders.

“Can’t get you out of my head,” he stroked her jaw, smirking when her eyes fluttered closed.

“Feelings mutual,” she opened her eyes, “I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re a work of art.”

The gasp she let out melted into a soft whimper when he kissed her hard, his hand on her throat. The elevator dinged but neither of them moved to leave, pulling each other closer as the kiss heated up. He growled against her lips when the ding sounded again, followed by a gasp. Coco glared at an unsuspecting couple, who took multiple steps back as she led him out of the elevator and down the hall.

Her suite looked the same as the rest of the casino rooms, but Coco didn’t have time to think of much else when she pulled him so close he was pressed against her.

“Why are you so fucking hot?” she breathed, holding the back of his neck as he kissed her.

Coco got to do exactly what he wanted when he saw her. Stripped her professional attire off to reveal her tattooed body, curvy and soft and all his to touch. He sat back on his knees, studying her body stretched out on the mattress. He grinned when she whined, tugging at his pants.

“What are you doing and why are you so dressed?” she pouted.

“Admiring beautiful artwork,” he took his leather off, “If I’m a work of art, you’re a masterpiece,” he admitted, smirking when she sat up to help him take his clothes off. His hands roamed all over her body, remembering each noise she let out for him. All for him.

Coco wasn’t a religious man, but a part of him prayed he would never forget the sound she made when he slid inside her, a sharp, inhaled whimper. He held her chin in his hand, keeping their eyes locked. Her eyes widened and she gasped when he bottomed out.

“Fuck,” she breathed as he thrusted hard and deep, “Fuck, that’s so good.”

He grunted, “Can’t stop thinking about this…you…”

She clenched around him, running her nails up and down his back and giggling through her moans when he would shiver. She pulled him down for a deep kiss, holding him close so they were pressed tight together. He pistoned his hips when he hit a certain spot inside her that made her eyes roll back.

“Right there,” she dug her nails into his shoulders, “Holy fuck,” her thighs trembled, “Coco…”

He growled, something primal burning in his chest at the way she cried his name. He watched her come undone with precision, not wanting to miss even the heave of her chest when she took a gasping breath.

“That my spot?” he grunted, not straying his movements as he watched her get closer. He needed to make her fall apart.

“Yes,” she gripped his hair, her own hips shaking as she kept moving with him, “Oh my god, fuck!”

He held her face in his hand, forcing her eyes up to his, “God’s not here, baby. Just you and the boogeyman. You want him to save you?”

She whimpered, “Fuck being saved,” she clenched around him hard, “If this is hell, let me burn.”

He thrusted harder and faster, needing her ruined. She cried out, tears in her eyes as she came hard. He didn’t let up his relentless pace, eyes intense as he kept fucking her through it. She screamed as she came again, dragging her nails down his back. His hips jerked as she gasped for breath.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” he growled in her ear, “Come on, give it to me.”

She shook as she kept her hips moving, “Don’t stop…don’t stop…” she begged, “Ruin me…”

The grin that split his face was sinister as he did what she asked. The only thing keeping him from breaking was her cries as she grasped onto anything to keep her anchored to him. He paused only to lift her legs over his shoulders but then resumed the brutal pace.

“That’s fucking it,” she sobbed, “Coco! Please!”

“Tell me,” he hissed, “Tell me what you need, baby. I want the fuckin’ words.”

“I w-want you,” she moaned helplessly, “Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum again.”

He licked his lips, “Gonna cum with me?” he growled against her ear, forehead to her temple. She nodded quickly, whimpering in the back of her throat. He reached down to rub her clit and felt her throb around him as she came harder than before. He couldn’t hold back anymore as he came with her, grunting harshly in her ear. His hips kept moving until neither of them could and he panted against her skin. He leaned back enough to let her shaking legs fall to his waist before he laid next to her. He pulled her in his arms and she wrapped herself around him tight, face pressed against his neck. He rubbed her back, her body still trembling.

“You okay, baby?” he whispered once her breathing slowed a little.

“Ruined,” she breathed but he felt her smile against his skin.

Part V

Coco,

I’m drawing your eyes next. I’m not even done yet and I already know this would be a dope ass tattoo. I miss you so much. Everybody’s boring compared to you now. 6 deep?! How much stuff did you think I had? I wish I could’ve seen his face too. I would love a letter from your daughter! I’m nervous, is that weird? It’ll be nice to get more letters. I think about our visit and being in your arms constantly. Sometimes it feels like you’re the only thing keeping me sane. When are you coming back???

Nyx

PS why did you abandon the roster?

Nyx,

I didn’t think you had a lot of stuff, I just wanted to scare him a little. It worked ;) She’s gonna send you a letter soon, she’s excited to talk to you. I’m sure she’s gonna tell you way too much about how I get when I see a letter from you. I can’t wait to see my eyes through your eyes. That’s why I abandoned the roster. Everyone is boring now. Nobody is you. I don’t care if I have to wait another couple of years. I’m not interested in anyone else right now. I have to go out of town again so I won’t be back for another few weeks. You do have money on your books for a call tho ;)

Coco

PS you being good?

Coco laid back on the bed of the rundown motel room he was sharing with Gilly. He lit a cigarette as Gilly stood at the door, figuring out dinner with Angel and EZ. Coco pulled out his phone and texted Letty that they arrived. His phone vibrated with an unknown number. He paused, usually not one to answer but the area code had his attention. He picked it up, mumbling, “Hola.”

“An inmate from Arizona State Prison Complex Perryville is attempting to contact you. To accept, press one.”

Coco almost dropped his phone in his attempt to answer. A long beep sounded and he heard, “Coco?”

“Nyx,” he murmured, smiling.

“I just want you to know that it took me so long to read your letter,” she told him, “My brain wouldn’t let me read past nobody is you.”

Coco felt his skin heating, “I meant it.”

“I know,” her voice softened, “I liked it a lot. Thinking about tattooing it on my eyelids so I see it every day.”

He laughed, “Wow. That’s a high compliment.”

“For sure,” her laugh shot a warm feeling through his chest, “What are you up to?”

“Just got settled in our room, figuring out dinner,” he murmured.

“Where are you?” she asked curiously.

“Heading north with some brothers,” he put his cigarette out, “I forget how long this state is sometimes.”

She laughed softly, “That’s a long ride on your bike, isn’t it?”

“Coco,” Gilly called, “You coming?”

He shook his head, “Nah, bring me something back.”

Angel grinned, “Who’s on the phone that you’re missing dinner? Your jailbird girlfriend?”

“Leave him alone,” EZ laughed, “I got you, bro,” he pushed the other two toward the restaurant.

“Thanks E,” he glared at Angel as the door shut, “Sorry if you heard any of that,” he sighed.

Nyx smirked, “Jailbird girlfriend?”

He winced, “I didn’t say girlfriend. If that’s not what this is. He’s just an asshole,” he rambled nervously.

“I don’t wanna like…claim you like that if you don’t want,” she murmured, “If there’s someone out there that you wanna go for, I understand. I still got a minute in here.”

He frowned, “No, it’s not that. I told you I’m not looking for anyone right now. I wanna see what this is. But we don’t have to call it anything if you don’t want to.”

Nyx was quiet for a moment, “Coco, I have to tell you something.”

Coco’s eyes widened and he sat up slowly, “Alright…what’s up?”

She sighed, “I’m nervous. I don’t know how you’re gonna react.”

“Just tell me, baby,” he mumbled, “You got me worried. Did you get more time or something?”

“No, no. Nothing like that,” she took a deep breath, “I just haven’t been completely honest with you about something. It’s nothing big. I hope. It’s not something I usually tell men until I trust them. And I trust you…more than I trust most people so far.”

“Just tell me,” he closed his eyes, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Nyx took another deep breath, “I’m bisexual. And I’ve had relationships with women. Outside and inside. It’s just like…a safety thing. To keep it to myself. I haven’t hooked up with anyone here since we had our first visit though.”

He listened quietly, “Have you had bad experiences with telling other dudes this? Is that why you were scared to tell me?”

“Yeah,” she admitted, “They’d be cool with it at first, then try to open our relationship by having threesomes. It would get aggressive if I said no. Or if I did it and they thought the third was better in bed, they’d throw tantrums. It got really ugly a few times.”

Coco’s body trembled with rage, “Wanna give me their names? Socials? Pay em a visit from the boogeyman?”

Nyx let out a relieved laugh, “No, that’s okay. I took care of myself. I just don’t want any secrets with you. And I didn’t want that to be in a letter.”

“I understand, baby,” he glanced at his pack of cigarettes, “So does that mean I’m not gonna be the first person besides you to make you cum?”

She laughed, “You’ll be the first guy.”

He smiled, “I’m good with that,” he bit his cheek to keep from saying that he wanted to be the last, too.

Coco,

I have to admit something. I think I’m obsessed with you. Your laugh rings in my head when I’m laying down to sleep. Sometimes I think about your hands and I get butterflies. I legit don’t think I’ve ever been into someone’s handwriting before but yours makes me feel all girly. I’m still trying to get your eyes perfect. I can’t wait to show you. I wish I had more pictures of you. Ooh I could tell Letty that and she’ll come thru. She’s fucking hilarious. She told me a little bit about how you guys came together and her story. I shared mine too, it gets pretty similar at some points. I already wanna call you again, hear your voice. Are you coming back up for another visit soon? I miss you. 

Nyx

PS I’m on my best behavior. I wanna get out and see you without COs monitoring us

Nyx,

I haven’t stopped reading your last letter since I opened it. I started carrying it in my wallet. Your handwriting makes my heart beat faster. I think about your laugh too. Your voice when you say my name. I can’t explain how you and Letty getting along makes me feel. It’s a good fucking feeling. I’m sorry you relate to her, nobody should have to go through that. Especially not you two. I take it you did ask her for pictures because she keeps taking them. I don’t mind if they’re for you. You can call me any time you want to baby. I’ll always answer for you. I won’t be able to make it up there for another few weeks, my schedules about to get hectic. I miss you too. More than I realized.

Coco

PS good girl. I want that too

Coco,

Letty came through with the pictures! I’m dying. You’re so fucking fine!! I was originally gonna hang them up by my bed but I don’t want anyone to see and steal you from me. So they stay hidden when I’m not looking at them. And I’m usually looking at them. There’s one of you shirtless working on your bike that makes me tingly. I cannot get over how beautiful you are. That girl deserves…I don’t even know what would be good enough to repay her for these. When I’m not looking at these, I’m rereading your letters. I take back what I said, I’m definitely obsessed with you. Letty told me how you got a bigger place for her. She thinks the world of you baby. Which only fuels my obsession. I don’t wanna call too often and run out of money! Weeks?? :( I get it but I also wanna touch you! I’m almost done drawing your eyes but I’ll show you during a visit. I wanna keep this one for me.

Nyx

PS you can’t just casually call me a good girl like that???!!

Nyx,

The more time goes on, the more obsessed I get and the less I give a fuck about people making fun of me about it. I don’t fall for women like this. This is all new to me too. You heard Letty’s story, I know I don’t come off well at some points. But I wanna try. For you. Because you deserve it. When I was getting your stuff, your ex said something that I had to be held back from going after him. Hearing him talk about you like that lit my blood on fire. You don’t deserve that from anyone. But I got you ma. I won’t let anyone disrespect you again. I stalled long enough, you do anything about getting all tingly looking at me? ;) I’m a little jealous that you get all these pictures and I just have your mugshot. Which makes me hard now…

Coco

PS you like that? Wanna be a good girl for me?

Coco,

I think I reread this one 1000 times?! God where do I start? My mugshot making you hard is so fucking hot. I think I still have some social media pictures up from my last little stretch of freedom. I also have a couple in my stuff, I can tell you where to look. I’ll draw you some of me too. My heart was pounding when I read that letter. I haven’t always been a good person. That’s pretty obvious. Whatever he said may have been true and that’s fine if he feels that way. I know my truth. If my handwriting gets messy, it’s because my hands are shaking. Nobody’s ever said anything like that about me before. I’ve been on my own for most of my life. The way you wrote those words there’s such…weight behind them. I know you feel them. To answer your question, I may………do some touching ;)

Nyx

“So, what is your type then, el Coco?” she asked teasingly, eyes bright even while bloodshot.

“The kind of woman that can bring a man to his knees without a word.”

Coco wandered through the plaza, letting Angel and Gilly’s mindless banter keep his brain distracted. They never let him be alone on this day, the worst anniversary. Every year, they would barge into his house and drag him out somewhere with a paper thin excuse requiring his attendance. Secretly, he felt grateful that his brothers were looking out for him. But his face was still fixed in a scowl, eyes roaming so he won’t get pulled into a conversation. He couldn’t. Not today. Not on the day he lost half his soul.

“She didn’t make it…”

“What?” Coco stood up so fast, the doctor stumbled back, intimidated.

“She didn’t make it, sir. I’m sorry.”

Coco had to be escorted from the hospital, Angel’s hand on his shoulder to direct him to the nearest bar. He had a soulmate and one asshole took her from him in a fucking hit and run.

Angel and Gilly led him over to the food trucks but he couldn’t eat. His body froze in place when a familiar laugh had his heart seizing. He immediately scanned the area where he heard it, then he saw her. She was standing by a food truck with a few other people. He saw her often, soft and out of focus like a dream. But she would never stay long. Now, she looked…real. She wasn’t out of focus, she wasn’t disappearing. His heart beat harder and he was vaguely aware of his feet carrying him closer. His heart flipped as he took her in slowly. She wore black shorts, her long, tattooed legs always on display. Tears welled up when he noticed a new surgery scar running down her thigh. He didn’t understand. She wore an oversized, off shoulder t-shirt. A new tattoo peaked out from under the hem on her arm.

“Coco?” Angel called but Coco couldn’t respond. Couldn’t look away until she disappeared. Her long hair was pulled up in a ponytail but still hung almost halfway down her back. One of the women she was with noticed and leaned over, whispering in her ear. She turned, their eyes locked and Coco fell to his knees.

She was alive.

Her brow furrowed as she approached him slowly. Coco’s heart sank when he saw she looked nervous.

“Coco?” she asked softly, “What are you doing?”

Tears slid down his cheeks when he heard her voice, “You’re alive,” his own voice trembled.

She frowned deeper and glanced back at her friends, all watching curiously, “Alive? What are you talking about?”

He hadn’t looked away from her, he couldn’t, “The doctors…they told me you died,” he breathed, unable to slow his racing heart. She was here. She was alive. Coco needed more than anything to touch her but he didn’t want to scare her away.

He watched as her face softened, ”You thought I was dead?” she asked gently. He nodded as she sank to her knees, “Oh, my love,” she hugged him tight and he crushed her to his chest, shaking.

“You’re alive,” he mumbled over and over, tears sliding down his cheeks and onto her shoulder. His lips brushed her skin and he kissed her neck and shoulder, his touch quickly turning desperate.

“Coco, Coco,” she pulled back, gently lifting his head.

His wild eyes held hers, heart hammering in his fucking chest. She was here, in his arms, “What? Are you with someone else?”

“No, god no,” she touched his cheek, “I was just gonna suggest we get up,” she smiled shyly, “Move somewhere more private. To talk?”

For the first time since he spotted her, he looked away from her. He saw everyone in the immediate area watching them. Angel and Gilly were grinning, some of her friends looked confused. Strangers watched with tears in their eyes. He drew closer to her and helped her up, “Where?”

“My car?” she suggested, “I assume you took a bike here.”

He nodded, “Let’s go,” he wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her toward the parking area. She leaned against him, “Are your friends gonna think you’re being kidnapped or something?”

“I honestly don’t care,” she admitted, “I just need to do the barest minimum of catching up before I kiss you again.”

Coco smiled, a real one, knowing she was as affected as him. She unlocked a black SUV and he opened the back door, helping her in before pulling himself up and closing the door. She straddled his lap and kissed him hard, holding his cheeks. Coco groaned and held the back of her head, kissing her desperately.

“Where have you been?” he breathed against her lips as his hands roamed her body, tracing the curves he knew by heart.

“I was in a coma,” she whispered, one hand on the back of his neck while she opened his leather and unbuttoned his shirt quickly, “Had to get surgery. Go to rehab. Start my whole fucking life over basically.”

He grunted when she got his shirt open, her hands greedy as they ran down his stomach, “Why didn’t you call?”

“I was in a coma for like two months,” she kissed him deep, grinding against him, “Fuck, I thought you left me.”

It took every shred of willpower to stop her hips, already feeling himself harden under her, “Look at me,” he demanded, his voice low and rough. He felt her tremble as she locked eyes with him, “I would never, ever fucking leave you,” he held her face in one hand, “Do you understand me? The only thing that would ever keep me from you is death. And I would still always love you. Always.”

She started crying silently and nodded, “I’m sorry,” she whispered but he shook his head, pulling her in for a hungry kiss. She whimpered, sucking his tongue as she rolled her hips. He thrusted up against her, pulling her shirt down to expose her tits and tease them, pinching her nipples to make her jump.

“I need you,” he growled into her mouth, unbuckling his belt.

With a broken whimper, she tossed herself onto the seat next to him to unbutton her shorts and pull them down her legs. He pulled his throbbing shaft out, stroking as he watched her. She watched his hand for a moment, mesmerized.

“Get back over here, now,” he grunted, grabbing the back of her neck to kiss her harshly.

She moaned and moved back into his lap, tugging her panties to the side and holding his gaze as she sank down on his cock. Coco kept his eyes on hers, never wanting to miss a second of her reaction when he pushed in. She gasped, rolling her hips slowly.

“Baby,” she breathed, holding his cheeks, “Oh, my fucking baby.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close as he thrusted up into her, “Yeah,” he grunted, “And you’re mine.”

Her head fell back with a moan, “Oh fuck,” she clenched around him, “Oh my god, Coco…”

He grit his teeth, unwilling to look away from her. He licked up her throat, “I’m gonna fucking devour you tonight,” he growled in her ear, “Gonna eat your pussy until tomorrow night. Fuck you till we can’t move anymore.”

“Please,” she begged, panting, “Fuck, please. I need to taste you too, baby. I need you. I’ve needed you so fucking bad.”

He gripped her hair and tugged so she looked at him, smirking when she gasped, “This mine? This my pussy?”

“Yes!” she cried, “Yes, yes, it’s yours! Fuck,” she kissed him hungrily, whimpering.

He fucked her harder, running his hand down her body to grip her thighs, “Say it again. Say you’re mine. I need to fucking hear it.”

“I’m yours, I’m yours,” she panted, “Oh fuck, please.”

“Do it,” he demanded, his eyes focused intensely on her, “Come on. Fucking do it.”

Her back arched and she sobbed his name, cumming hard and clenching tight around him. Coco growled and thrusted harder and harder, chasing his own orgasm and prolonging hers while she trembled in his arms, whimpering helplessly in his ear.

Once they rode out their orgasms, she rested her head on his shoulder while they each caught their breath. He shivered when he felt her soft fingertips on his chest and he smiled lazily, knowing what she found.

“You got my name tattooed,” she whispered in awe, kissing his jaw softly.

“Even death won’t stop me from loving you, baby,” he looked up at her. Her ponytail was messed up, shirt pooled at her elbows and waist. He smiled softly, “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

She smiled, the smile just for him, and kissed him gently, “I love you, Johnny,” she nuzzled his nose and he melted, pulling her into another crushing hug.

“I love you, too,” he murmured, feeling at peace for the first time in a long time.