avid reider

Spencer has been the perfect boyfriend. He has been there for you as much as he could with both of your work schedules. He pampers, pays attention, and adores you as much as possible. Things were finally looking up after weeks of darkness. 

The two of you were enjoying each other’s company, watching a movie on your shared couch when the doorbell rang. It was Lila. That was incredibly unexpected. You both ignore it, and pretend you’re not home. 

“Spencer, Y/N, I see your cars out here. I know you’re in there. I just want to talk.” 

“I’m just gonna buzz her in,” you say. 

“Are you crazy? We finally got rid of her and now she’s back,” Spencer whispered. 

“We’re in a better place now, Spence,” you smile as you buzz her in. 

As Lila gets up to the apartment door, she knocks and you swing the door open. “So why are you here?” you ask. 

“Listen, I know you two don’t wanna see me, so I will just say it quickly. I acknowledge that I have hurt you both individually and as a couple, and I wish that I could say that was never my intention, but that would be a lie. I fell in love with not Spencer, but with the idea of him. He is very handsome, and sweet, and flirtatious,” she smirked at him. That one stung a little bit, but it helped that he glared back at her. 

She continued, “He’s very smart and charismatic, and I haven’t had a healthy relationship in my entire life. I thought he could give that to me, finally. But, I have come to realize that what I thought we had was superficial. A fling, and it can barely be called that. I wanted him at the time though, but then I met you. And you have such a big heart, to have tried to befriend me and care for my feelings during all of this, and then to have been able to forgive Spencer for everything. I just wanted to say that I am sorry, and I really hope you two know how lucky you are,” she smiles. 

Spencer couldn’t stand hearing that, because he had the intuition that the entire speech was insincere, so he had retreated to the bedroom. As Lila begins to walk out the door, she quickly spins around to face you. “Oh, I almost forgot! Here,” and she hands you a plastic bag. 

“What’s this?” you ask. 

“Oh, some of Spencer’s stuff he left at my place. It’s a pair of sweats, his boxers, and the box of condoms. We only used 2, and I’m sure they’re still good!” she says and nearly runs out of the apartment complex. 

You are stunned. Everyone talks about fight or flight responses, but you froze - the less common ‘f.’ 

Without a word to Spencer, you leave the apartment. 

---Spencer’s POV--- 

How could she even think that she could come to our home? Why would Y/N let her in? 

Surely Lila is gone, I wonder what else she said to Y/N. I hope she didn’t fall for that fake apology. 

“Where are you babe?” he called out, with no response. 

Y/N’s cell phone was sitting on the kitchen counter. 

So was a bag with some of his belongings. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. No way. When did this happen? What did Lila say to her? Where could she be?

Spencer grabbed his keys and bolted out of the door, driving to the first place that he could think of. Y/N’s best friend’s house. 

Spencer knocked obnoxiously, and finally the door was answered. 

“What do you want?” Jo asked. 

“Is Y/N here?” Spencer asked. 

“No, she’s not. Go fuck with that tramp some more and leave Y/N alone,” and with that, the door was slammed. 

Without knowing what else to do, Spencer called Garcia. 

“Hello Boy Wonder. What’s up?” She answered the phone cheerily. 

“Hey Garcia. Listen, I don’t have much time. I think Y/N’s in trouble, and I need you to track the GPS in her car please,” he felt kinda bad for how deceitful he came off, but he couldn’t risk Garcia refusing to tell him and letting Y/N get further away from him when they were just starting to repair their relationship. 

“Okay do you want me to call the team?” She asked. 

“No Pen, that’s okay right now, but I’ll call you if anything changes, okay?”

“Okay. It looks like her car is parked at ‘The Chug’ on the west side of town.” 

“Thanks Garcia, bye!” 

Spencer made a quick U-turn and headed for the bar. It was one that Y/N had never been to to his knowledge. He’s wondering why she’d go there now. He throws up a simple prayer that Y/N will at least hear him out despite his complicated religious beliefs. 

First, I'll acknowledge All trust has been broken A successful recovery I pray for us at night

Grants me with a second chance Never thought I'd see your face again Learning life through trial and error Just tryna make it right

---Y/N’s POV---

“I’ll have another shot of tequila with lime, please.”

“Hey, you,” Some tall man with a beard says as he sits next to you. 

“Do I know you?” You respond rudely. 

“No, but I’d like for you to,” he responds as he grabs your arm and tries to pull you onto the dance floor. 

“Get off of me!” you shout and as sudden as his arm was around you, it was gone. And standing there in his place was Spencer holding onto his bloody fist. 

“Did you just punch him?!” you exclaimed.

“Yes, he was making you uncomfortable,” Spencer said shyly.

“I appreciate it, but that doesn’t mean that I forgive you. Spencer, I think it would be best if we just took a break for a while. I think we got back together too soon, and I don’t think either of us were ready for it. I mean you told me that you didn’t do anything with Lila. That was clearly a lie. What else have you been keeping from me? I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore,” you said through tears. 

“Honey, Lila is lying. I never slept with her. Never even went to her house. I promise you are the only person that I want for the rest of my life. Please let me be there for you.” 

“This is your last chance, Spencer. I can’t just let you keep hurting me. That isn’t a life that I want for myself.”

“I promise baby.” 

Missing your good intentions Missing you from a distance Hope you did the same

I know that I caused a problem Know that I left you livid Pushed you far away

Learned it don't pay to lie 'Cause I don't wanna see you cry Sayin' nothin gets you nowhere fast I'ma hold it back inside

But now that I'm back around ya Nothing else really matters Hope you feel the same

“We will talk about this later. I’m going to run over to a friend’s house, I’ll be home later,” you say. You wanted to stop by Jo’s house to vent. 

“Okay, have fun at Jo’s,” Spencer said with a smile. 

You sat at the bar for a few more minutes to make sure that you were sober enough to drive. Once you decided that you were fine, you started to walk toward the exit so you could go to Jo’s, and Spencer was probably already home. As you were opening the door to your car, you felt a strong hand grab your waist and put a rag over your nose. The last thing you remember is a familiar face before blacking out. 

---Spencer’s POV--- 

“Garcia, can you track her car again?” Spencer said to Penelope after she hadn’t returned home in several hours and Jo was adamant that she never stopped by. 

“Sure... But I’m calling the team.” 

“I found her before, but I’m getting worried that she’s not here.” 

“Her car is at the same place as before, it hasn’t moved.” 

Did she change her mind? Is she choosing to move on and find some rebound? I should have stayed, I should have tried harder and made her feel more important. I didn’t put nearly as much effort into convincing her that Lila was lying and that I would never cheat. 

I'm going through all the motions Trying to find a reason That we ended that way

Nothing in life is perfect We'll be changing like the seasons That's what they used to say yeah yeah

If it's going to sleep alone at night

I don't wanna close my eyes

Wanna give you all I have to give I'm not holdin' back this time

Now that I'm back around ya Nothin' around me matters Hope you feel the same

First, I'll acknowledge All trust has been broken A successful recovery I pray for us at night

Grants me with a second chance Never thought I'd see your face again Learning life through trial and error And tryna make it right

“I’ll call you back,” Spencer says as he heads for the door again. 

Once arriving to the bar, he sees her car and gets a bad feeling immediately. He’s worked crime scenes, but this one stung him like others never had. He instantly recognizes the sign of a struggle. 

“Spencer, is something going on in your life that you’d like to talk about?” Emily asked on a dull Wednesday morning - it was solely a paperwork day so the entire unit was working and chatting and drinking coffee. 

“No, I’m fine. How are you, Emily?” Spencer deflected, politely. 

“Don’t do that. Do not just change the subject. You know that you aren’t acting as though you won the love of your life back. What’s up?”

“I know...” Spencer sighed. “Things just aren’t the same. I don’t even know what we are. I thought that we were making up but...” 

“But?” Emily prompted. 

“But she’s distant. She’s so hesitant and careful with me. Like she doesn’t trust me. And I guess I understand, I just wish that there was something I could do.” Spencer admitted while looking down at his hands. 

“There is something you can do, Reid. Give her time, and show her love. She was hurt, and the only way to thoroughly convince her is to just be there until she’s ready. She will come around.” 

Spencer smiled genuinely at her as he thanked her. 

After Emily walked away, JJ approached Spencer’s desk and hoisted herself up on it. 

“Hey JJ, do you need something?” Spencer asked, without looking up her. 

“No, I was just coming over to say hi and ask if there was anything going on between you and Y/N.” 

“I thought you knew? We talked things out.” 

“Yeah, but there’s more to that story, and I’d like to hear what it is,” she replied with a smile. 

So was this something he was going to have to deal with all day? “JJ, I’m fine. She just hasn’t completely forgiven me yet.” 

“So what have you done?” 

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked, with confusion clear on his face.

“Like what grand, extravagant gestures have you tried, and what’s next?”

Spencer couldn’t find the words quickly enough before Penelope, who was clearly eavesdropping, interrupted his thoughts. 

“Oh my Gosh, you haven’t done anything yet! No wonder she hasn’t forgiven you! You haven’t bought her flowers, or taken her out, or covered her apartment with rose petals, or anything have you?!”

“Well, I did buy her flowers the night she left, but she never got them because she was gone before I got home. We also have gone out for coffee and lunch or dinner on several occasions,” Spencer responded. 

“Okay Boy Genius that doesn’t count because she never got them, and you haven’t actually taken her out on the town; you got to have her get all dolled up and show her off, duh.” 

“It’s okay, Spence, we will help you figure something out. But one thing I do know about her is she loves it when you call her cute little names. So do that a bit more than you used to,” JJ said to him. 

Spencer was slightly surprised. “She likes that? She told you that?” 

JJ smiled at the handsome brunette, “Yes, she told me that she adores it.” Spencer just smiled in return. 

---MEANWHILE---

Y/N’s phone rang, and she answered it as soon as she saw that Lila was calling. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Y/N. I’m sorry about the other day; I didn’t mean to get so emotional, I just was shocked to hear Spencer talk like that. It is so unlike him.” 

“Oh that’s okay, he’s just been going through a lot.”

“Did he relapse?”

You were shocked. “What?”

“I know he struggled with addiction. Dilaudid, right? Maybe he relapsed. Relapses typically cause the user to lash out.” 

“I know the symptoms of relapse, Lila. But that’s not it.” 

“Okay, I was just wondering. Have you and Spencer slept together since you began talking again?”

“What the hell, Lila? Not that it’s any of your business, but no, we haven’t.” 

“I think I know why. Check your phone. I just sent you a photo, and you’re gonna want to see it.” 

You did as she said and opened your messages to find that there was a photo of Spencer and JJ. 

You knew that JJ and Spencer were really close friends, and you really liked her. She was sweet and caring, and she seemed to really care about Spencer. It was nice to know someone who wanted the best for Spencer just like you did. But you always had your doubts. JJ is extraordinarily beautiful, and you had heard rumors at a Rossi dinner party that JJ was the love of Spencer’s life. However, you gave him the benefit of the doubt, and things were fine until that dreadful night that he told you that he needed space. The same night that he told you he was volunteering at that high school where he met Lila. That was the one detail you were fixated on throughout this whole debacle. But now you realize that you’ve been overlooking the one fact that caused you and Spencer’s relationship to fizzle in the first place; he had been lying to you about working late in order to spend more time with JJ at the office. You couldn’t help but wonder if Lila was even worth worrying about. Perhaps the one you should’ve been worrying about is the beautiful blonde in the photo. 

“Look at his hands! Why is he holding her like that? He is so clearly in love with her. That’s why I never wanted to pursue a relationship with him... I’d always have to compete with Jennifer,” Lila stated. 

“Where did you get this?” you asked. 

“He left his tablet here, he never came back to grab it after he stopped volunteering.” 

“And you went through it?”

“Aren’t you glad that I did? He’s not good for you, Y/N. Kick him to the curb.” 

“I got to go, Lila...” and with that, you ended the call.

You quickly dialed Spencer’s number. 

“Hey, baby, how are you?” Spencer answered. 

“Hi, I’m sorry to be calling you while you’re at work-”

“No it’s totally fine! We aren’t really busy today. Wanna join me for lunch?” he asked, before he muffled the phone and responded to someone else. “Oh, JJ and I have plans to go get Chinese, but you can join us!” 

“No Spence, that’s okay. I just- I just wanted to talk to you about something... Are you in love with her?”

“Y/N, I told you that I don’t care about Lila at all -” 

“Not Lila,” you interrupted, “JJ. Are you in love with JJ?”

“What would make you think that?” 

“Maybe this photo that Lila found on your tablet,” you answered, as you forwarded the photo to him. 

“Sweetheart, JJ is one of my best friends. She’s like a sister to me.”

“Yeah, Spence, but if you remember correctly, which I assume that you do, the reason that we started fighting in the first place was because you were always lying about having to go to work, when in actuality you were just going to spend more time with JJ,” you explained with tears in your voice. “Spencer, you can tell me the truth. I can’t handle any more of your lies. I can’t handle any more heartbreak.” 

Spencer could almost hear his own heart shatter at your words. Of course you hadn’t forgiven him yet; there were far more problems and insecurities than he had recognized. 

So girl, You just be honest with me I know we can make this work. I love you. I know that you’re afraid, babe. But you don't need to be saved, babe. You just need someone who understands, And I think I need the same, babe.

“Please come eat lunch with me,” was all that Spencer could reply. His heart felt like it mended itself when you agreed. 

When you got to the unit, Spencer met you at the elevator. “So, where do you wanna go?”

“I thought we were getting Chinese,” you responded. 

“I canceled the plans with JJ, so we can go wherever you want,” Spencer answered with a smile. 

When you settled on the local Mexican restaurant, Spencer began talking. “So, baby, I think we need to talk. I mean, really talk. I am so sorry that I didn’t even realize the extent to which you were hurting. Hurting your feelings were never my intention, I was just worried that you and I would get complacent in our relationship, and I got scared. I know that I should have just been honest about how I was feeling instead of distancing myself from you, and I’m more sorry than I can tell you. But I never wanted space, I just didn’t want to lose you. I never wanted to lose you. I love you.” 

Show me where you’re at, let's keep it honest. Home is where you’re at and that's a promise. Open up and never keep it from us, Nothing left between us, baby, nothing. Tell me what you want, let's keep it gangsta. Tell me who created you, I'd thank her. Open up and never keep it from us, Nothing left between us, baby. 

You were thrilled at his words, but you weren’t sure what to say. You settled on, “I love you too, Spencer.” 

“Can you forgive me?”

“I’ve already forgiven you.” 

“No, but I mean, can you really forgive me? Can we be together again?”

Hopefully you'll give me a chance. All I want is love and romance. I wanna give it all- Give it all to you.

I wanna dream what you dream, go where you're going. I only have one life and I only wanna live it with you. I wanna sleep where you sleep, connect with your soul. The only thing I want in life, I only wanna live it with you.

“I’d like that,” you responded. 

“Then you have to talk to me, honey. I need to know how you feel.” 

At those words you completely broke down. Maybe it was the sadness that had seemed to envelope your entire body since the night that Spencer had asked for you to give him space. Maybe it was the warm fuzzy feeling your margarita was giving you. Maybe it was all of your doubt and insecurity finally bubbling up to the service. Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter. You told him how upset you were that he asked you for space, even though he already explained his reasoning. You explained how his job is so time consuming, as is yours, and how it makes it hard on you. You explained how the emails between he and Lila made you feel, especially when he praised her for being brilliant and made her feel as if she were more interesting than his own girlfriend. You explained how the fact that he made extra commitments without talking to you first made you feel like you weren’t a priority in his life. And lastly, you explained how you felt like you would never be good enough for him because of his crush on JJ. 

Despite your crying, Spencer reassured you that you were the only one he wanted. He explained once again that he didn’t want space; he just didn’t want the relationship to end due to his complacency. He assured that he would spend as much time with you as he could. He explained that he no longer wanted nothing to do with Lila, while subtly mentioning how you should no longer associate with her either (because he believes with all his heart that she wants your relationship to fail, and he’s probably right). He assured you that you are incredibly brilliant yourself; you are smart, and beautiful, and so caring. He promised that any time he has the opportunity to take on extra activities, he will consult with you first. And, most importantly, he guaranteed that he only cared for JJ as a sister, and that she was one of his dearest friends. 

Tell me what you want, I can't believe it. I know that if we make it there's a reason. Sometimes the sun shines, baby, Sometimes it ain't breezy. I hope that maybe this time it may be different. I told you I'mma make it, that commitment. Yeah, you took your shot and didn't miss it, Ain't nothing more attractive than ambition.

Hopefully you'll give me a chance. All I want is love and romance. I wanna give it all- Give it all to you.

I wanna dream what you dream, go where you're going. I only have one life and I only wanna live it with you. I wanna sleep where you sleep, connect with your soul. The only thing I want in life, I only wanna live it with you.

After the two of you sat in silence as you ate, he looked up at you and said, “okay? Is that okay? Can we make it through this?”

If I came to your crib, would you open the door? I don't wanna go down that road, no more. Said you wanted it bad, but girl I wanted it more. You're the only one I wanna be with.

You nodded at him and said, “Yeah, I think we can try, Spencer.” 

He smiled at you. “Good. Because I love you, Y/N. Will I see you tonight?”

“You’ll see me all night, if you play your cards right.” 

Hey Reid. Can you come to my Batcave for a minute? I’ll make it worth your while. ;)

With a sigh, Spencer hoisted himself out of his chair and headed toward Garcia’s lair. 

“Did you need something, Garcia?” Spencer asked. 

“Well first of all, I made some really good cookies and I wanted you to have first dibs,” she handed him the plate with a smile. “And secondly, I wanted to let you know that Y/N did not block your number. So that tells me that she isn’t over you, she’s just hurt. She may just need a little more time and -” 

“Garcia, I didn’t ask you to do this. She caught me with a woman she was worried about. There’s no way that -”

“She caught you with another woman?!” she exclaimed as she planted a loud smack on Spencer’s chest. 

“Okay first of all, OW. Second of all, we were just having coffee, but Y/N freaked out before I could explain.” 

“What’s this woman’s name?”

“Lila Everett, I’m quite sure you don’t know her-”

“Okay Boy Wonder, get out.”

“Why?”

“Just get out, I’ll text you if I have anymore updates,” and with that, Spencer went back to the stack of paperwork waiting for him at his desk. 

--- MEANWHILE ---  

Garcia tapped and clicked and called away in order to find out everything she could about Lila Everett; every job, transaction, relationship, and mistake, and compiled a list for Reid. She sent it to his email with small little markers wherever she wanted to leave a note. 

One section of the document really struck Reid. He was a profiler, but even Lila had him fooled. 

Alan Wright

Josh Stern 

Matt Blevins 

Evan Hart 

> All of these men that she’s dated claimed that she cheated on them. Y/N would never cheat on you. She also stole money from them early on in their relationships, but they let it go due to her charm. 

Spencer stood up to go talk to Penelope. “Stop sending me dirt on Lila. I don’t like her. I probably won’t ever see her again, okay?”

“Good, she’s not for you Reid.” 

“I know,” he replied, just as his phone buzzed flashing a notification indicating that Y/N had finally texted him. 

Spencer. Please stop talking about me to Penelope. I understand that you messed up and that you want to talk, but I am not in the mood to talk to you just yet. You broke me. You got bored with me, so you turned to some woman you barely knew. You neglected me and our relationship and I just don’t see how you can fix that at this point. 

I know, Y/N. I’m so sorry. 

Sorry still doesn’t change anything, Spencer. Lila got ahold of me, and told me what you said to her. 

What are you talking about?

You told her how much she meant to you, how beautiful and gorgeous she was, how you could see yourself falling for her, how she was better than me, etc. 

What? I never said any of that to Lila. 

Spencer dialed Y/N’s number as quickly as he could. 

“Hello?” 

“What are you talking about? I never told Lila any of that. Lila and I were just friends, but we aren’t even that anymore.” Spencer said, confused. 

“Do not play with me, Spencer. She said that you two are going to dinner tonight, and that she thinks that she may be pregnant with your child,” Y/N said, with tears in her voice. 

Spencer couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had never even met with Lila outside of school hours besides the one coffee they grabbed together. “Y/N, she’s lying to you. I’ve never even spent time with her. How could you think so little of me?”

“She told me everything, Spencer! You don’t have to lie to me anymore,” Y/N said, before hanging up. 

It's another, if it ain't one thing. Instigators, like pouring fire on propane. The wrong thing, they be worried about. Oh, you know females -  And how they like to run their mouths. 

Wanna be, just like, talk like, you - Misery, misery, loves company. Don't let them change your mood.

They try to get at me  Behind your back,  Tryna tell me that I'm just like the others, But I ain't all bad.

I might make you mad, so mad.

My bad, no, I ain't all bad.

Several days passed, and Spencer hasn’t been sleeping or eating well. 

He was almost dozing on a Sunday afternoon when there was a knock at the door. 

He looked like a wreck, but he didn’t care. He flung the door open to see Y/N’s tear-stained face. 

“Y/N?! Come in, please! Are you okay?” He asked, as he enveloped her in a tight hug. 

“I just didn’t know if you still wanted to talk,” she responded. 

“Yes, yes of course! I’ll put on some coffee.” 

Spencer rushed around his apartment trying to calm his nerves and clean up at the same time. 

Once the pair were settled in with their coffee, Y/N began to speak. “So, Lila and I have been talking, and it turns out we have a lot in common,” she began with a smile, “and whoever you decide that you want to be with, the other would like to remain friends with you. We both love you.” 

Spencer was still confused as to why he was ever a topic of conversation for Lila when he hadn’t spoken to her since they met at the coffeehouse. 

“Y/N, I don’t know what she’s been telling you, but there is absolutely nothing going on between me and Lila. I don’t know how to prove it to you, but I’ll do whatever it takes. You are the one that I love, and I am so sorry that I took you for granted. That will never happen again. I’ll have Garcia hack into our phones and prove that we haven’t been talking, if that will convince you.” 

“I think she needs to hear that, Spencer, because she thinks that you two are an item.” 

“Then baby, she’s delusional,” Spencer said with a grin. 

“Shall we tell her the news today, then?” 

“Anything for you, Y/N.” 

“Okay, I’ll have her meet us at the same coffeehouse from the other day.” 

The ride there was quiet, but content. Lila was already there waiting, and she greeted the pair with a smile. Y/N slid into the opposite side of the booth, and Spencer joined her. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw how disappointed Lila looked by that fact. 

“So...” Lila began. 

“I’m not sure why you told Y/N that you and I were anything more that friends, or that we had ever had sexual intercourse when he haven’t be physically intimate in any capacity whatsoever. I also don’t know why you made a big deal to befriend Y/N in the first place, but our relationships with you - friends or otherwise - will be ending here. Y/N is the love of my life, and you are just a troublemaker,” Spencer stated with the utmost confidence. With all that being said, Lila began to cry. 

“Spencer,” Y/N reprimanded, “that was very rude. We can still be friends with her. You just won’t be pursuing a romantic relationship with her.” 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve that,” Lila cried, “but I’m sorry, Spencer. See, Y/N, I told you that Spencer was just manipulating us both!” 

Spencer nearly lost it. How dare he contaminate the mind of his one true love?! 

“Me?!” Spencer spat, “you are the only one being manipulative here! Come on, Y/N.” 

“Spencer... we can’t just leave her.” 

“Baby, your heart is so big, and that’s one of the many reasons why I love you. But she is trying to ruin our relationship! You have to be blind to not see that!” Spencer exclaimed. 

“I may not be a profiler, but that doesn’t mean that I’m stupid, Spencer.”

“I know you’re not stupid, baby, but please. Can’t we just go home? I missed you so much.” 

Reluctantly, Y/N agreed, but not without leaning across the table to Lila to whisper, “text me later, okay?”

“I will,” she responded, still sobbing. When Y/N turned to leave though, it was clear the sobs were fake. Spencer turned to look at her, and Lila had the most evil grin on her face. Spencer clenched his jaw, and pushed Y/N out the door. 

Between us, they wanna comment. Your worst enemy some time be your best friend - Perfect, ain't saying that I am... Proven, least I'm proving that I give a damn.

Wanna be, everything I ought to be to you,  Envy, envy, same thing as jealousy - Jealous of you, That's what they do.

They try to get at me Behind your back,  Tryin' to tell me that I'm just like the others But I ain't all bad.