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Harry: Stop dating my mom!

Cedric: You know what? I'm gonna start dating her even harder.

#source: the office #character: harry potter #character: cedric diggory #avpm

•18+ Adults Only

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Voldemort: So, I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes, or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Quirrell: Voldemort nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES

Voldemort: FLOOR IT?

Quirrell: VOLDEMORT NO

Voldemort: HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

Quirrell: VOLDEMORT YOU ARE GOING TO BURN OUR HOUSE DOWN

Voldemort: I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

Quirrell: VOLDEMORT P L E A S E

#source: tumblr #quirrellmort #avpm #character: quirinus quirrell #character: voldemort #relationship: quirrellmort

Dumbledore: Don't keep things bottled up inside. It's not healthy!

Voldemort: Don't tell me about not being healthy. I've been not healthy my whole life, so I'm an expert, and if I wanna keep things bottled up, I will!

#source: digimon adventure #character: albus dumbledore #character: voldemort #avpm

Voldemort: You’re right, I have no excuses. I was totally over the line.

Quirrell: Over the line?! You’re so far past the line that you can’t even see the line! The line is a dot to you!

#source: friends #quirrellmort #avpm #character: quirinus quirrell #character: voldemort #ship: quirrellmort

Dumbledore: So Tom, let’s start by talking about the emotions you’re feeling right now.

Voldemort: Stabbing.

Dumbledore: Stabbing… isn’t really an emotion, it’s more of an… activity. Which I hope you don’t do to me. See, an emotion is more of a feeling.

Voldemort: Well maybe I feel stabby.

#source: icarly #avpm #character: dumbledore #character: voldemort

•18+ Adults Only

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Voldemort: No but are you sure you love me, like really sure, I don’t want to pressure you-

Quirrell: We have been married for 17 years

#source: tumblr #avpm #a very potter musical #quirrellmort #character: quirinus quirrell #character: voldemort #ship: quirrellmort #i feel like most people would think quirrell would be the first person #but honestly i feel like they're both pretty insecure in this sense #but voldemort might be slightly more??#idk

Ron: Wait, what? People actually tell their crushes they like them?

Harry: What the hell do YOU do?

Ron: I die? What kind of question…

#source: tumblr #avpm #a very potter musical #character: ron weasley #character: harry potter

Voldemort: *talking about his father* But he's dead to me now. Mostly because I killed him, but also because he's a muggle.

#source: buffy the vampire slayer #avpm #a very potter musical #character: voldemort

Harry: You’re not better than us!

Voldemort: My sweet ass cape begs to differ.

Ron: …Dammit, he got us there.

#source: sao abridged #avpm #a very potter musical #character: ron weasley #character: harry potter #character: voldemort

Voldemort: *walking around still disappointed 6 hours after visiting an aquarium*

Quirrell: What did you think a tiger shark was, Voldemort?

#source: twitter #quirrellmort #a very potter musical #avpm #character: quirinus quirrell #character: voldemort #ship: quirrellmort

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Voldemort: *pulls back curtain while Quirrell is showering*

Voldemort: Are we- stop screaming, it's me- are we out of ice cream?

#source: twitter #quirrellmort #avpm #a very potter musical #incorrect quotes #character: quirinus quirrell #character: voldemort #ship: quirrellmort

Voldemort: I get really offended when people tell me I’m going to hell for being bisexual, because I feel like they’re overlooking all the other perfectly valid reasons I'm going to hell.

#source: tumblr #avpm #a very potter musical #incorrect quotes #character: voldemort

Yaxley: What's it like dating Quirrell?

Voldemort: Once I asked him for a water while he was pissed at me and he brought me a glass full of ice and said "wait"

#source: unknown #quirrellmort #avpm #a very potter musical #incorrect quotes #character: voldemort #character #yaxley #i feel like quirrell is the passive-aggressive type tbh

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