winter is coming;

I’m not being a meaniehead. I could never! I don’t have one mean bone in my body. 

Not even one? How is that possible?

I’m starting to see why someone would want to introduce you to their fist..

Uncalled for, wow. I’m nothing but a gentle soul who doesn’t deserve the abuse he gets, okay.

Right. Gentle soul is exactly how I would describe you. Even when you're being a meaniehead.

Where? I don’t see it. Is it standing behind you or what?

I'm starting to see why someone would want to introduce you to their fist..

I don’t know about all that now. 

Looks like you're the one in need of lessons if you can't recognize awesomeness when it's standing in front of you.

Naaaah, it’s not that easy. You need to be worthy. You’ve got to go through rigorous tests. I gotta see if you’re capable. 

I won’t disappoint then as I have a mind of my own. Um.. sane? You? Don’t make me fall over laughing, captain. I’m fairly certain you’re crazy but I don’t mind?

Okay, wow, rude. I’m literally the furthest thing from crazy, alright? I’m awesome, and you could learn a thing or two from little ol me, Blondie. 

Could I? Well, come on then, lay some wisdom on me.. since you think I'm so in need.

I want you to think whatever you wanna think, Averyland. Me? Crazy? Why, I never. I’m pretty much the most sane person in this entire town. You don’t see me going and punching people. 

I won’t disappoint then as I have a mind of my own. Um.. sane? You? Don’t make me fall over laughing, captain. I’m fairly certain you’re crazy but I don’t mind?

If that is true – how haven’t I punched you yet? I mean, I’m all about radiant beauty and jealousy, you know.

Is this your way of saying I’m cute? Cause I already knew you found my charm utterly irresistible. 

Do you want me to think you're cute? Um.. now I know you're just talking crazy.

As if I know. They’re probably just jealous of my radiant beauty. I mean, I don’t blame ‘em. Looks at me, I’m adorable. —Okay, well, maybe not now, but that’s besides the point here. 

If that is true -- how haven’t I punched you yet? I mean, I’m all about radiant beauty and jealousy, you know.

Oh–Aw, fuck. I swear, you think I’d get used to getting punched in the face by now. Seriously, no how fucked up is my nose? Just lay it on me, Blondie. Am I fucked for life?

What is with your face and peoples fists, captain? Uh.. definitely not for life but I'd pray no sneeze comes on.

Me neither. It’s bad enough in the daylight hours, I’d hate to run into any of these people in a dark club, covered in those fluorescent lights. Guess you haven’t lived until you’ve gone running after your gi– friend with her shoes, coat. Whole top one time, I’m sure.

It’s a good thing I don’t go to clubs.. maybe it influences people. Makes them start taking their shoes off at random?

avery-hurst:

I don't think I could stand to work in those places. Finding shoes seems bad enough but imagining all the sorts of things drunk people take off is doing my head in.

Tell me about it. Try being the guy who has to find the thing and toss it in the crap box.

I feel for you. I assume you work at a restaurant or something, right? Not even like a bar or club.. somewhere I could see someone thinking it was a good idea to lose a shoe after one too many.

I swear, if I have to put one more shoe into the lost and found box…