All We Have Are Moments

I keep saying I don’t want to start over. I don’t want to begin again. But it’s NOT starting over. It’s stepping into power. It’s continuing on to what’s next. What’s bigger. What’s meant for you. That’s NOT starting over, or from scratch. It’s moving forward. Don’t resist it (of course it feels sticky when you do), accept it. Move bravely towards what is yours.

I walk into my apartment in the morning after having been at my boyfriend’s house for the night. It is still and still-feeling. I hear CBC murmuring on my alarm clock radio that I lazily keep on the floor of my room. I smile.

Trying hard to embrace HERE. Sweltering city SUMMER. I know there will be so many (more) Summers spent by the water, in the country, probably on other continents, so for now - I’m here. Feeling the pavement under my feet. Listening to the cars drive by while I try to sleep. Biking by the river. Racing to yoga, to my partner’s place, to see pals in the park, to my friend’s driveway to cook. Working. Breathing. Eating. Drinking. Enjoying. Here where I moved to move on. Here where I moved to continue. Here where I moved to follow a path I’d been charting probably for YEARS unknowingly before consciously. I’m happy, I’m healthy, I’m hot af - I’m here.

Discomfort (from which we grow).

I am thunder, and yet, you adore me.

Learning how to talk with my heart.

Nothing feels sweeter than telling the truth/speaking mine.