Iâm Better Now.
When we met, You teased me for Mulan being my favorite. For being independent You said you liked it.
When we started talking, You said we were amazingly comfortable. You were so kind. My friends said to be careful.
When we started dating, It was February 3rd. You said we were dating to get married. I said okay, but after college.
When we first fought, I had gone dancing without you. You were waiting for me. You yelled at me about trust.
When I ignored the first red flag, I wasnât to talk to her again since she âmade meâ go dancing. You began to cut my ties My friends told me to leave
When you told my parents, You told them I had lied. You told them it was my fault you werenât happy They told me to be careful.
When we reached one year, I gave my first blowjob You were cold. I was confused.
When I ignored the second red flag, I had to spend every weekend with your family. You would talk shit about my family. I would only go to church with you
When we first had sex, It was my first time. You told me we couldnât do it again. You told me it was âUnchristianlyâ
When weâd make out, You told me I couldnât stop. You told me I had to finish what I started. Yet you told me we were being âUnchristianlyâ
When I moved to college. I had no friends. We talked nightly You were happy, I was depressed.
When you first showed up. I had made friends. You didnât know them. You showed up at a party.
When I started to notice. I had friends now You would drive up on your weekends without telling me. You would call or text when you knew I was with friends.
When I knew. You told me we werenât best friends anymore. You told me sometimes no didnât mean no. You said you couldnât wait.
When the end started. You told me I was sleeping around, I compromised, You called me a liar.
When the end happened. You called me a slut, You called me a waste of time, I died.
When I was âcopingâ. I planned on killing myself I started to cut again You had destroyed me.
When I realized you still had a hold. You told my brother I broke your heart You unblocked me when you knew it would hurt. You were engaged three months later on what would have been our three year anniversary.
When I realized I still had so much work to do. My therapist told me you did it on purpose. I couldnât call you my rapist. Your words are still laced into my thoughts
When I realized Iâm doing better than I ever wouldâve been. Iâm going to therapy and fixing my shit. Iâm going to get my masters and become a licensed social worker Iâm not married to an abusive, racist, manipulative jack wagon.
