i still have some little things to do ( tag drops and whatnot ), but my new blog is pretty much ready over at avadite!
art blog(derogatory)
Not today Justin

oozey mess

#extradirty

★

PR's Tumblrdome
Stranger Things

JBB: An Artblog!

Andulka
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Misplaced Lens Cap
Acquired Stardust
DEAR READER
One Nice Bug Per Day
dirt enthusiast
YOU ARE THE REASON
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
i don't do bad sauce passes

izzy's playlists!
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from New Zealand
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Austria
seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
@avadite-arc
i still have some little things to do ( tag drops and whatnot ), but my new blog is pretty much ready over at avadite!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
psa: archiving and moving blogs !
hey guys! after a crazy week and much consideration, i’ve decided to archive this blog, and move on over to a new one for greed! nothing’s changing — established dynamics and relationships will remain the same. my greed in general will stay the same. i’m just feeling like a fresh blog is in order. with that in mind, it may take me a few days to get things fully in order — or it may only take a night or so, who knows with the way my brain works lately.
once the blog is up and running, i’ll post the new link here ( my url’s staying the same ). then, when i get an idea of how many people keep the mutual between us, i’ll sort through and make a post with the drafts i intend to save.
thanks for your patience, everyone!
psa: archiving and moving blogs !
hey guys! after a crazy week and much consideration, i’ve decided to archive this blog, and move on over to a new one for greed! nothing’s changing --- established dynamics and relationships will remain the same. my greed in general will stay the same. i’m just feeling like a fresh blog is in order. with that in mind, it may take me a few days to get things fully in order --- or it may only take a night or so, who knows with the way my brain works lately.
once the blog is up and running, i’ll post the new link here ( my url’s staying the same ). then, when i get an idea of how many people keep the mutual between us, i’ll sort through and make a post with the drafts i intend to save.
thanks for your patience, everyone!
yinseal.
it’s merlot, soft and savoury the kind of wine adults buy, the ones who have their lives together / everything settled, everything in its place. ironic, because right now she feels like that careless brand of optimism, that ease which greed inspired so well. it was always like the world was somehow easier with him around she could take a breath / take a moment to herself. the wine goes down easy ( she’s on her third glass, fairly certain; not like her at all to cut so loose these days, but maybe she’s looking for liquid courage / looking for a way to stop the thought of just what it means to have greed here again. ) legs tucked up under her, elbow resting against the sofa’s backing: comfort, coziness / an illusion of something they used to be before.
she’s not drunk, not sober: that twilight state where her tongue is loose, but her fear is unabated. greed’s face swims into focus, earnest, hurt; the guilt pricks, urges another gulp of wine as her lashes fan down against her cheeks. ❝ we did have fun, ❞ she concurs ( her voice doesn’t slur, thank god. ) ❝ it wasn’t about you not being the one, or … maybe i was afraid you would be. ❞
a boy like him / a girl like her ( casual, just a little fun. ) ava’s got his smile, his laugh: greed in miniature, a reminder to just how tight the thread around them was, how hard it is to cut away the love she had for him. ❝ you’re a great dad, greed. i wasn’t worried you wouldn’t be. i was just … scared, and stupid, and panicking. i told myself i didn’t want to burden you with fatherhood after i left, but i was sel - selfish. but if i had to pick anyone to be ava’s father, i’d always pick you. ❞
❝ it wouldn’t have been a burden. it was --- ❞ he runs a hand over his face, feeling his face flush. ❝ it was kind of what i wanted with you eventually, anyway. i know the timing would have been off but, ❞ a shrug as he runs his index finger around the rim of the wine glass. ❝ i would have wanted ava and you both. i wouldn’t have questioned it for a second. ❞ greed sighs heavily, resists the urge to drain his glass. he settles for working it down to a quarter left.
❝ for the record, i don’t think you’re selfish. then or now, ❞ he fixes her in his gaze. even when he’d so desperately wanted to be furious with her, to yell or scream because she’d hidden ava away from him, the moment he saw sakura’s face, it was impossible to keep up that facade. ( for better or worse, he still loved her. ) ❝ i wish things had been different, don’t get me wrong. sometimes i look at the baby photos of ava you gave me, and i wonder what it might have been like to be a part of it, but i don’t blame you. ❞
this time, he finishes his glass down to the last drop. ❝ we weren’t talking. you were across the world. things weren’t in your favor. ❞ he knows she suffered for her decision; he can see it in the guilt on her face, can guess it by how eager ava is to mend their relationship. has their daughter ever seen sakura fully at ease? how much loneliness has rested on sakura’s shoulders as she settled into her life as a single mother? ❝ i mean, did you even really have someone to pick up stuff for all the crazy cravings pregnant women get? that’s a major loss in and of itself. ❞ he grins at her, his gaze softening as his eyes trace her features.
Hunter Parrish as Silas Botwin WEEDS “Cats! Cats! Cats!” | 7x09

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
@yinseal said: "but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one."
❝ i think you’ve just had too much wine, sakura, ❞ he jokes, but the accompanying laugh dies in his throat. his second glass is still half full, and ava’s been sound asleep for a little over an hour. greed should leave, but instead he slumps against the back of the couch, one foot kicked up on a nearby ottoman. sakura’s home is so much cozier than his apartment. he takes another swig of the wine and closes his eyes.
when he opens them, he turns his face to sakura. ❝ can i ask you something? ❞ his stomach clenches; this question might not go well, with the odd history between them, but he’s a glass and a half in, and his head’s buzzing just enough to make him forget why he shouldn’t ask. ❝ what ... what made you so sure i wasn’t the one? for you or ... to be ava’s dad? i thought i was okay enough for an asshole in his early twenties. i mean, i had a job and a car. kind of, on that second one. guess we couldn’t have put a baby in there ever. ❞ he sighs, and chews on his bottom lip.
❝ we did have fun, though. can’t dispute that one. maybe a little too much, sometimes. ❞
@yinseal said: "and though i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you."
he could recognize that pretty script anywhere, even if sakura’s name wasn’t written out so neatly in the top left corner of the letter. swallowing the lump in his throat, he tears the letter open with a haste he knew would have made her laugh and tease him for his impatience. the letter unfolds in his shaking fingers.
he reads it once. twice. three times. four times over, until his vision blurs. ❝ dammit, ❞ he hisses, scrubbing the heel of his hand furiously at his eyes. it’s been two years since he last saw sakura --- the fleeting glimpse of her as he left her graduation party, the smile on his face practically made of plastic, knowing he couldn’t see her again.
and though i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you.
does she mean it? has he faded so quickly from her memory? it’s funny, when he can see her so clearly, her leg propped up on the barre of her dance studio, the confident tilt of her chin as she concentrated. ( so many other gazes on him that day, but all he could look at was her. ) and then there was that night on the hood of his beat up car, a bottle of vodka he’d stolen from his stepdad’s cabinet between them. he can remember the warmth flooding through his body, the tingling in his legs, the fire when he rolled over to meet sakura’s gaze and they kissed. and kissed.
stronger, though, lingers the snarl of his stepdad’s voice, telling him to stay away from her. that he was no good for a girl like that --- someone with a future. his heart aches in his chest as he looks back down at the letter. she sounds happy. she’s in school; her parents are doing fine. that’s all that matters. anything between them is too late.
he tosses the envelope in the trash. knows he’ll be tempted to memorize her address, otherwise. he doesn’t trust himself not to go knocking on her door. ( i’ve still got love for you, too. ) she deserves better.
it doesn’t take him long to find what he needs: a long ribbon, faded with time, but still strong, hidden in his top drawer. with delicate fingers, he ties it around the letter, and hides them beneath his t-shirts.
yinseal.
the sound of laughter / breathless giggles as ava careens from room to room, crashing into greed at full speed; she hardly bats an eye at the disruption, merely tugs on greed’s hand to show him the spoils of her hunt. sakura, left behind, smiles at the fervor, the delight with which ava bounces about the joy in which their little girl can so easily radiate could fill a house three times this size. fingers brushing against the paint-smoothed walls, she lingers for a moment to take in the light / the warmth / the space. it’s a beautiful home: every room seems built for them exact. she can almost see ava with her bunny and her paintbrushes, painting alongside greed in the atrium. perfect for them … and for a little more. with a smile, she follows after her favourite duo.
ava doesn’t pause a moment at her mother’s arrival ( likely, she’s too lost in chatter over what she’ll put in her closet / all the ways she’ll decorate her room. ) light spills in through wide bay windows, turning ava’s skin to gold as she flits across the floor a bed, right here, and a dresser, and some shelves, toys everywhere, a space for a bunny ( or two or three. ) walls for pictures / papa’s paintings; she disappears in a blaze of sunlight, and sakura comes to a pause in greed’s embrace.
❝ it’s just that i was thinking … ❞ how strange, to suddenly be nervous! her palm slides up across greed’s back / rests low while her fingers curl absentmindedly in the fabric of his shirt. not like her, that she hadn’t planned this moment down to the very last perhaps she’s trying to savour the moment, let them celebrate it the way they deserve ( the way greed deserves. ) ❝ we can keep looking, but i thought it might be nice to have more space. since there’s … going to be more family pretty soon. ❞
as far as reveals go, it’s not the most direct, but ava brilliant, clever girl saves the day. popping out from the closet, eyes wide / hair in disarray, she exclaims, ❝ am i getting a baby sister ?! ❞
greed exchanges a round-eyed glance between mother and daughter; he doesn’t even take the time to be humbled by how much quicker ava pieces together the meaning behind sakura’s words. they’re having another baby. tears prick at the edges of his eyelids. ❝ you’re pregnant? ❞ he asks in a breathless whisper. he can’t keep his eyes in one place; they flicker from sakura, down to her belly, over to ava who appears she might just combust with glee.
a smile breaks across his face. a quiet sob ( or perhaps it’s more akin to a laugh ) bursts from his chest. ❝ how far along? when’s the due date? oh, we’ll need to get settled in a new house soon, before the baby --- ❞ greed breaks off, his hand moving to touch sakura’s stomach. it’s still flat beneath his palm. his face feels damp, and it takes him several moments to realize tears are streaming down his face. ❝ we’re having a baby. ❞
❝ i’m gonna have a sister! ❞ ava practically sings as she twirls around the empty room, her pigtails flouncing around her face. pulling sakura to his chest, greed places a kiss atop her head.
❝ thank you, ❞ he whispers, low enough that ava can’t hear. there’s so much he missed with her --- so many firsts, and though a new child will never replace those moments, they might just give him a second chance.
having given up on her dance routine, ava runs over to wrap her arms around their legs, her cheek pressed against sakura’s skirt, her fingers curled tightly around the fabric of greed’s jeans. finally, she looks up at them with her most winning smile. ❝ can we buy the house now? ❞
@yinseal said: "we always walked a very thin line" :)
❝ is that a bad thing? ❞ ling and bido are long since asleep, their forms painted pure white by the moon. sakura lies beside him, not touching, her gaze up at the stars. greed props himself onto his elbow. right away he notes the pinched skin between her brow. it would be too natural to reach over and smooth the back of his knuckles along the skin of her cheek, but he keeps his free hand supporting him, a pained gleam in his eye.
it isn’t hard to see she’s right. they teetered on the tightrope between friends and enemies; walked one foot in front of the other on the line between lovers and in love. and doesn’t it sting, that all of that work may have been undone by father and the games he plays with the life of his child? ❝ where do you want me to stand? ❞ he asks, so soft for a moment he wonders if she even heard.
❝ i’ll be whatever you need, sakura. just let me keep you safe. ❞
@wyrdify said: what did you think i’d say to that? / from Roy
❝ not to disappoint, but this whole question implies that i care about your opinion. ❞ he quirks a brow, his mouth tugging down into a subtle frown. he leans into the chair across from mustang’s desk, slumping to the side like an insolent child sent to the principal’s office. he rests his closed fist against his cheek. ❝ i just got back to amestris; is this whole military surveillance shit really necessary? i get that you’re watching over pride --- or whatever’s left of him, but in case you haven’t noticed --- ❞ he holds his hands up, showcasing the scrapes along his palms, scabbed and unhealed. ❝ i’m human, now. ❞

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
@dolcetters said: "you ever watch ants carry shit, like, ten times bigger than 'em? it's crazy. --look, that one's got a huge ass chunk of bread right now. haulin' it up those steps like it's nothin'."
with a thoughtful hum, greed leans back against the porch steps, watching the line of ants trail across the sidewalk. ❝ my old man used to compare humans to ants, ❞ he replies. sweat beads at his forehead as the sun beats down on the front of the house. ava, however, seems unaware of the heat as she trots across the yard, carrying her stuffed bunny. she pauses every so often to babble to it, then carries on her merry way. ( they should think about getting her a toy stroller soon. )
❝ he was right --- sort of. in the wrong way. ❞ father always thought of humans as creatures to squash in the name of getting what he wanted. he failed to see the resilience in them. he never expected them to fight or protect. ❝ mostly that there are a shit ton of you. us, i guess. ❞ he smiles faintly. some days, it’s hard to remember that he, too, is human, just a normal mortal with a wife and a kid. a job. another ant. and still he’d take it over being the boot any day.
❝ that’s enough nature watch for one day, don’t you think? ❞ he asks, rising slowly to his feet. he beckons for ava to follow him inside. ❝ wanna stay and help make dinner? ❞
taylor swift * folklore starters
THE 1
i’m doing good, i’m on some new shit
and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed
but we were something, don’t you think so?
and if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you
in my defence, i have none
but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one
if one thing had been different, would everything be different today
CARDIGAN
when you are young they assume you know nothing
i knew you
baby kiss it better
you put me on and said i was your favourite
a friend to all is a friend to none
chase two girls, lose the one
you drew stars around my scars
but now i’m bleeding
tried to change the ending
i knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs
cause i knew everything when i was young
and i knew you’d come back to me
THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY
how did a middle class divorcée do it?
there’s only so far new money goes
their parties were tasteful, if a little loud
there goes the last great american dynasty
who knows, if she never showed up what could’ve been
she had a marvellous time ruining everything
there goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen
she stole his dog and dyed it key lime green
i had a marvellous time ruining everything
EXILE
i can see you standin’ honey
and it took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it
i think i’ve seen this film before
you’re not my homeland anymore
now i’m in exile seein’ you out
i can see you starin’ honey
like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me
those eyes add insult to injury
i’m not your problem anymore
so who am i offending now?
we always walked a very thin line
you didn’t even hear me out
i never learned to read your mind
MY TEARS RICOCHET
even on my worst day, did i deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?
i swear i loved you
i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace
and if i’m dead to you, why are you at the wake?
you know i didn’t want to have to haunt you
cause when i’d fight, you used to tell me i was brave
and i can go anywhere i want, just not home
you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same
you turned into your worst fears
MIRRORBALL
and when i break, it’s in a million pieces
hush
you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes spinning in my highest heels
i know they said the end is near
i can change everything about me to fit in
i’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me
i’m still a believer but i don’t know why
SEVEN
please picture me in the trees
i was too scared to jump in
are there still beautiful things?
cross your heart, won’t tell no other
and thought i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you
love you to the moon and to saturn
and i’ve been meaning to tell you
i think your house is haunted
i used to scream ferociously
AUGUST
i never needed anything more
are you sure?
never have i ever before
cause it was never mine
and i can see us twisted in bedsheets
cause you were never mine
i remember thinking i had you
wanting was enough
for me, it was enough
so much for summer love, and saying “us”
cause you weren’t mine to lose
THIS IS ME TRYING
i’ve been having a hard time adjusting
i didn’t know if you’d care if i came back
i have a lot of regrets about that
and maybe i don’t quite know what to say
i just wanted you to know that this is me trying
they told me all of my cages were mental
so i got wasted like all my potential
i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
but i didn’t pour the whiskey
at least i’m trying
it’s hard to be anywhere these days
ILLICIT AFFAIRS
make sure nobody sees you leave
tell your friends you’re out for a run
take the road less travelled by
and that’s the thing about illicit affairs
like you don’t even exist
but they lie, and they lie, and they lie, a million little times
don’t call me kid
don’t call me baby
look at this godforsaken mess that you made me
for you, i would ruin myself
INVISIBLE STRING
i used to think i would meet somebody there
were there clues i didn’t see?
all along, there was some invisible string tying you to me
you ate at my favourite spot for dinner
something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire
one single thread of gold tied me to you
hell was the journey but it brought me heaven
MAD WOMAN
what did you think i’d say to that?
what do you sing on your drive home?
every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy
and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry
what a shame, she went mad
no one likes a mad woman
you made her like that
it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together
cause you took everything from me
the master of spin has a couple side flings
good wives always know
EPIPHANY
just a flesh wound
___, i think he’s bleedin’ out
something med school did not cover
doc, i think she’s crashin’ out
and some things you just can’t speak about
to make some sense of what you’ve seen
BETTY
but i think it’s cause of me
it’s like i couldn’t breathe
you can’t believe a word she says
the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you
would you have me?
would you want me?
would you tell me to go straight to hell?
i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything
but i know i miss you
just thinking of you
i dreamt of you all summer long
the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you
PEACE
i never had the courage of my convictions
as long as danger is near
but i would die for you in secret
the devil’s in the details
but you got a friend in me
your integrity makes me seem small
and you know that i’d swing with you for the fences
and you know that i’d sit with you in the trenches
and you know that i’d give you my wild
and you know that i’d give you my child
is it enough?
all these people think love’s for show
would it be enough if i could never give you peace?
HOAX
this has broken me down
stood on the cliffside screaming “give me a reason”
your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in
don’t want no other shade of blue but you
i am ash from your fire
you know i left a part of me back in new york
you knew the hero died, so what’s the movie for
you knew it still hurts underneath my scares
you knew you won, so what’s the point of keeping score?
darling, this was just as hard
you have beaten my heart
no other sadness in the world would do
ideal body weight: u on top of me
everyone wants something they can’t have ( for @avadite ♡ )
i have officially been writing this heathen for a year ...

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“I wanted to crawl into her chest and kiss everything that she’d thought I’d hate.”
— Unknown
yinseal.
is it the scent of his cologne? the red vest / white shirt, the crisp blackness of his trousers? something makes the crimson in his eyes stand out / puts the devil in the way he looks at her ( a flash of heat, scorching down her spine until each breath feels like a sigh. ) her heels click along the cobbled street, stride in equal measure with greed’s easy gait; good god, she’s not sure if she should hide, or drag greed back to her bed. ❝ i know you won’t. ❞ is that an automatic admission? sincerity in the softness? close enough to touch, greed’s hand lingers near her own, and her fingers nearly / nearly brush against his own, before she admits to her own cowardice ( what point there is in bravery for a pointless goal. )
still, the image of greed, meeting her father, is a little laughable a stark contrast in dear old dad, and the man who’s known her so very intimately. a flash of her teeth, nipping on her bottom lip, as if to stem the laughter / stem the humour in the situation ( greed’s already doing her a favour, and she’s not going to throw that in his face now. ) ❝ he owns a restaurant, ❞ she says at last, stepping slightly closer to pass by an inebriated pedestrian lurching by. ❝ in central. he’s a nice man, really terrible, goofy sense of humour, but i think that’s a dad thing. he didn’t really understand me wanting to be a doctor, but he’s been supportive. when my mom died, he was the one who gave me the kick i needed to get back into the swing of things. ❞ a pause; there’s little she knows of greed’s family, and little more that she imagines is good.
❝ he’s staying at the hotel on avicenna, and i didn’t, you know … tell him much about you. ❞ undoubtedly, her father would decline to hear the more sordid stories, and greed would like to keep the more underhanded out. ❝ i just told him that we’re … we’ve been together for a few months. and that you run a business. general lies you tell your father, of course. ❞ god, she’s feeling more foolish by the second / playing games for a ridiculous farce she’s dragged greed into.
she comes to a halt, hand pressed to the door that leads to dinner: a pretty restaurant, with ivy curling ‘cross the red-brick entrance. her father’s sitting at a further table, chatting with a waiter his chestnut hair faded light brown, a little extra weight around the belly ( has he been testing his own cooking again? ) his mustache is a little better groomed at least; there’s wrinkles by his eyes she hasn’t noticed before ( she needs to visit more often. ) too late to back out now; she throws a faint smile at greed, before she flings the door open, calling out her father’s name like she’s not got a secret and a bombshell all in one.
❝ probably for the best he doesn’t know much, especially since this is the last i’ll see of him, ❞ he replies with a wry smirk. what will their breakup story be? what dramatic exit does sakura see him making? or maybe she’s the heartbreaker in their faux love story. whatever tale she spins, greed hopes it’s dramatic. that thought makes him practically itch to know why she rejected her dad’s setup in the first place. a blind date with a respectable man seems right up her alley. instead she chose him.
as they stop at the restaurant, a flash of panic sears through greed. ( okay, so maybe he didn’t think he’d get this far. ) what does one say to the father of the woman he’s having casual sex with? he supposes ‘i’m taking good care of your daughter’ might not be overly appropriate. the thought sends a nervous laugh bubbling from his chest. he coughs to cover the sound, his eyes never leaving sakura as she greets her dad with enthusiasm. ( if she’s half as jumpy as him, she doesn’t seem to show it. )
he trails behind, a polite smile on his lips --- silent, attentive, respectable. he merely needs to embody those traits for one night. for sakura. easy enough. he keeps a respectful distance as they approach the table. his hand hovers at sakura’s lower back, not quite guiding, but keeping up appearances nonetheless. mostly, he wishes he could tug on her dress and tell her nevermind, that he can’t do this. his fingertips ghost along the hint of bare skin there, and greed’s briefly reassured by her warmth, her concrete presence.
you promised not to embarrass her.
steeling his nerves, greed waits as sakura goes through the motions of greeting her dad. ( humans have such predictable etiquette for everything. ) then, it’s his turn; he smiles his most charming smile, his hand held out to shake. ❝ it’s nice to meet you mr. haruno, i’m -- ❞ a brief pause. ❝ grant. ❞