Ava Consolmagno

Louis has been telling this story in response to the ever classic, “what’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done?” question for years. Here are the facts we have:

Louis cooked someone a romantic meal of chicken wrapped in parma ham and stuffed with mozzarella cheese

Louis claims that this meal is the most romantic thing he has ever done

Louis claims that this was the FIRST meal he has ever cooked and that it was the ONLY meal he has ever cooked

Louis claims that this meal was not good

Harry once posted this:

Now, Louis has added another “fact” to this well-known story:

6. This meal was cooked for his girlfriend, Eleanor. 

But, you see, these “facts” are not compatible. Facts 1-5 work together and they paint this plausible picture: 

Louis cooked chicken stuffed with mozzarella and wrapped in parma ham (1) as a romantic gesture (2). This was his one and only attempt at cooking a meal (3). It didn’t turn out very well (4) and this occurred back in 2010 as reported by Harry (5). 

See, all of those facts are consistent with one another and they tell a cohesive story. But try adding in number 6: 

Louis cooked chicken stuffed with mozzarella and wrapped in parma ham as a romantic gesture his most romantic gesture for his current and longterm girlfriend. This was his one and only attempt at cooking a meal definitely not his first or only attempt at cooking considering we have photographic evidence of him cooking what appears to be this exact meal at least a year prior to when he apparently made this for Eleanor. It didn’t turn out very well, but is still apparently the most romantic thing he has ever done for her and this occurred back in 2010 as reported by Harry  who the fuck knows when. 

Look, if it’s true that Louis made that iconic meal for Eleanor, then he also:

Lied about it being the first meal he cooked. 

Lied about it being the only meal he cooked. 

Made what looks like it could very well be the same exact meal for someone else back before he had even met Eleanor. 

Also, cooking dinner is cute and all, but am I to believe that it is the best this 27-year-old man who is a self-proclaimed romantic has managed to do for his girlfriend of six years? He cooked her a bad meal back in 2011 and somehow still hasn’t been able to one-up his 19-year-old self? He’s been with her for 

S I X  Y E A R S 

for fucks sake! That’s a lot of holidays and birthdays to not have any other romantic tales, my friend.

Honestly, what a transparent attempt to take a widespread larry story and try to insert Eleanor into it. I can’t say I am 100% certain whether it is Louis himself or if it is his team who is trying to rewrite a happier, cleaner, more Eleanor-friendly version of Louis’ past, but I am 100% certain that it is happening. 

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it’s ok to be gay.

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it’s ok to be bisexual.

it’s ok to be YOU.