*Setting: a scene from the first Lord of the Rings movie, The Fellowship of the Ring. Directed by Peter Jackson.
A group of men, elves, dwarves, hobbits and the elder wizard Gandalf are sitting down in a circle in the beautiful forest of Rivendell, near Elrond’s home. They have gathered to discuss a great threat.
The men all look at each other significantly.*
Elrond, frowning in worry: Bring forth the meme, Frodo.
*Frodo brings a meme (humorous picture with captions) forward and places it down carefully, as if he’s frightened of it. It shows a young man reading a yellow piece of paper and saying, “I don’t know the way to Mordor. And at this point I’m too afraid to ask.*
Boromir, raising finger to mouth in thought: So it is true.
Gimli: What’s this? A moving jpeg? (A jpeg is a picture that’s been shrunk to take up less space on a computer, to save money and computer memory. JPEG stands for Joint Photographic Experts Group.)
Boromir, shaking his head, smiling and raising his finger: It is a gif. (GIF stands for graphics interchange format. It’s a computer file that stores moving pictures and short videos and stores up to 256 bits of colour).
Legolas, standing up angrily: It’s pronounced JIF!
Gimli, confused: Who’s Jeff?
Elrond, patient but annoyed: Gentlemen, the meme.
Aragorn: Why does it matter if it is animated? (Animated means moving, in this situation).
Boromir, raising his head slowly from his hand in disbelief and frustration: One does not simply animate a meme.
Gandalf: ...*sideways glance*
Boromir: It drains my data plan in minutes. (It drains his internet data plan quickly, which would use up more electricity and cost him more money. If you use a mobile phone with internet, you can pay money to use a data plan with your local telephone company.
This is so you can receive a set amount of data each month for internet access, to use email, go on facebook, watch online videos, look at online photos and read news on websites).
Gandalf: Don’t you have wifi? (Wi Fi is the Wireless technology Local Area Network connecting computers, mobile phones, laptops, iPads and electronic tablets to each other and to the internet. Large Desktop computers may use wired Ethernet to reach the internet, but mobile phones and electronic tablets use wi fi. Source of information: PC magazine website).
Boromir, shaking his head, smiling, eyes narrowed: Not in Osgiliath.
Elrond, frustrated: We’re getting off track again. The meme must be destroyed.
Gimli: I’ve got an app for that! (An app is a small computer software program you can use on your mobile phone to learn information or play games). *He stands up quickly and smashes his axe on the meme. His axe breaks into tiny pieces. The power of the gif sends him flying to the ground.*
*Elrond jerks, startled.*
*Gandalf’s eyes widen in shock.*
*Frodo closes his eyes and raises his hand to his forehead, wincing in pain. Gandalf places his hand on Frodo’s arm compassionately, looking concerned.*
Gimli, lying on the ground: Damn gif!
Legolas, standing up angrily: It’s a fucking JIF!
Boromir, scowling: Listen, Legoland -
Boromir: I don’t live in the kingdom of Jondor. (Boromir lives in Gondor).
*All members of the Council of Elrond stand up in anger*
Boromir: Gackass! (He meant to call Legolas a jackass).
*Angry yelling from different men*
Gandalf: Shut the fuck up! This is by far the dumbest discussion I’ve ever had. You’re all a bunch of nerds!
Source of information on computer terminology definitions:
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