IN THE FACE OF EXTERMINATION, SAY "FUCK YOU" !!

I'm sorry I can't let this stay buried in the tags.

Frequently pronounces video games as “Blideo Bames”

Will often say “I need help passing this level it’s really hard” then when you look at their screen it’s running Microsoft Excel 2007

They invite you over to their place to check out their game collection and it’s just every season of Frasier (still impressive)

Their Xbox One is actually a series of tissue boxes glued together with the word “NINTEMDO” painted over it

When you ask their favourite video game they respond by doing a series of skillful backflips, temporarily distracting you from having asked the question in the first place

For a huge pile of tiny rocks, you live a surprisingly nomadic lifestyle. More than a hundred years of tourism and foot traffic has destroyed much of the native grass that kept you stationary. You are now what they call a “wandering dune”, as wind off the lake slowly but steadily pushes your tremendous bulk a little further inland every year.

As you move, you gradually engulf everything in your path—trees, buildings, rocks, hills, your own parking lot—everything. You are an unstoppable force, like some kind of gigantic gelatinous cube, but you’re still very popular with visitors.

In 2013, you suddenly eat a child. It’s a surprising move on your part—dry quicksand isn’t supposed to be a real natural phenomenon. I mean, what is this, a 1960’s action movie?

One moment, a family from Illinois is cheerfully climbing your slopes. The next, the 6 year old boy suddenly vanishes without warning, leaving no trace. Would-be rescuers dig in the sand where he disappeared until their hands are bleeding. Geologists insist that he must have wandered off, because enormous piles sand physically cannot form hollows or pockets within themselves—but three hours later, he is found, unconscious but alive, buried almost twelve feet deep in the sand.